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I just sent my two oldest to their rooms for the day on my birthday


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All I ever want for my birthday is peace. I deeply desire to have one day where the kids are helpful and do not bicker. I got up and took them all to Starbuck and treated us all to breakfast. I get home and ask the oldest two to empty the dishwasher so I can start school with the younger one. They proceed to argue, bicker etc... I am done with them for the day. They can spend the day in their room - right? We celebrated as a family last night (my dh gave two bottles of wine, that is all, and I am not allowed to drink because my liver tests are still out of whack from my gall bladder surgery), and today I turn 40! So let me know if I am being crazy for losing it with them so early. Maybe in my old age I have NO patience for the bickering.

 

Thanks for letting me vent!

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We celebrated as a family last night (my dh gave two bottles of wine, that is all, and I am not allowed to drink because my liver tests are still out of whack from my gall bladder surgery), and today I turn 40!

 

 

Wait a minute...you can't drink alcohol, but dh gave you wine for your birthday?

 

You know how when you were in school and there was an announcement "So-and-so, please report to the principal's office," and everyone said, "OoooOOOoooo!"

 

That's just what I was thinking "OooOoooo!" when I read what your dh gave you. What was your response to the gift? Did he come out unscathed???

 

 

About the kids in their rooms, I'd probably let them out after lunch, as long as they had made you a paper crown and agreed to treat you like the queen for the rest of the day. Are they old enough to cook you dinner?

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Or...another solution is to let them out and you go to your room :)

 

In my room, I have books, can bring in the laptop, have a television, can nap, can crochet...all in the quiet of my room. The boys can be engaged in the living room reading, crafting, art, television, movies, wii...anything to keep peace if it's been a bad day or I'm sick.

 

I hope your day gets better. Happy Birthday!

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Not too harsh at all. I've done the same with my kids on non-birthdays. Some days it seems like no matter how many times you warn them, no matter how many privileges you take away, no matter how many extra chores you give them, you're just in for a miserable day with them. Perhaps it's merciful to just send them to their room to have a peaceful quiet day apart from each other.

 

I remember when my kids were younger, perhaps 3 and 4, we had just such a day. I thought they were too young to send to their room all day so I sat them down in little chairs next to me and said they couldn't talk, play, stand up, move around. They had to sit with their hands folded on their laps and I kept them there for about two and half hours. My MIL thought it was way harsh, but it actually made me laugh at the time because they found the dumbest games to play that required no speech, no touching, no toys, no unfolding of the hands and very little movement. Never underestimate a kid's ability to entertain themselves. :) Compared to that, being sent to their room has limitless possibilities.

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I think it is over-reacting to send them to their rooms for the entire day because of some morning bickering. An hour or two (or until lunchtime as another poster suggested) is more reasonable. Do you want them to remember that for mom's 40th birthday all she wanted was for them to be shut in their rooms? Before lunch, I would call them out, give them a big hug, and ask them if they can help make lunch cheerfully. Tell them what you really want for your b'day is for them to be cheerful and helpful for the rest of the day.

 

I hope your day gets better.

 

Edited to say that I see it's already past lunchtime where you are. I would still let them join the family and try to make my b'day a nice day instead of a lonely one.

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Literally in their room for the day? Will your oldest obey that rule?

 

I was wondering about that, too -- I couldn't keep my ds in his room all day without chains and shackles... and then he'd still probably find a way out! ;)

 

Cat

 

PS. Linda -- are you sure it's your kids you're really angry with, or are you still annoyed with your husband and his terrible choice of gifts, and just taking it out on the kids because they were "the last straw?" I would be a lot angrier with my dh than I would be with the kids!

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Crazy enough my oldest would stay in his room the entire day, actually they both would because this is rare! I talked to both of them at lunchtime; my son apologized repeatedly and was sincere. My dd not so much. She said she was sorry I got mad at her. I told her to come find me when she was ready... at 2:00 I went to her and talked and talked and talked. Basically I am sick to death of the two of them bickering. I didn't grow up like this, my sister and I NEVER fought. This constant stress is really upsetting me. I like peace. I love the bookstore, a quiet church, the library. I hate noisy places and now my house is one of them?! So my dd isn't getting it; she just wants to win a fight with her big brother. I explained that by bickering she looks like a loser even if she ends up winning.

 

Maybe I over reacted, but I think maybe it was time they really saw how much this bothers me. Also, the thing about being irriated about my dh's present...it is almost a joke with him picking out horrible presents. Two years ago he got my gifts on Christmas Eve at the fitness center. I just get what I want for myself. I also just got the call from the doctor yesterday about the liver still not behaving post op four weeks. SO he really thought I could enjoy that bottle of wine last night.

 

Thanks for listening. I love having this board...it feels like the teachers' lounge, but I think you all are way more honest than people are face to face.

 

My girlfriends are taking me out to dinner a movie. The oldest two are going to have to get along. I think they will do better without me as to interfere.

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Also, the thing about being irriated about my dh's present...it is almost a joke with him picking out horrible presents. Two years ago he got my gifts on Christmas Eve at the fitness center.

 

You know, I'm pretty sure you could have shot him for that and gotten away with it. Not a jury in the world would have convicted you. ;)

 

Cat

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My girlfriends are taking me out to dinner a movie. The oldest two are going to have to get along. I think they will do better without me as to interfere.

 

(((Linda))), I hope you had a great time out with your friends!

 

My dh and kids finally "got it" when they saw that I'd written a note in my calendar a year ahead of time for Mother's Day: "I do not want presents; I just don't want to clean up, wash dishes, or do any other work around the house."

 

My birthday was yesterday. My kids get along amazingly well, but dh and dd got into a screaming match while we were all in the car. Nice. I've told both of them privately that they don't need to have the last word to be right, but no one listens to me. :glare:

 

It definitely put a damper on the evening, and that's unusual even for birthdays around here.

 

I understand.

 

hApPy bIrThDaY!!!!!!

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