Tell me about your 8 year old

[kwg]

I am starting to kind of worry something is wrong with ds. I would love to hear from btdt-doing- it -now- parents. He just turned 8. The slightest thing can cause him to dissolve into a puddle of tears. He has always been sensitive but lately it is really over the top and not only being sensitive but......love the kid-bratty :glare:.

 

Example: I went to the thrift store tonight and found a lego kit for 2.00. It looked old but I thought for 2 dollars it was worth a try yk.....so I show it to ds and he opens it. It is obvious a lot of the pieces are missing and i say "Oh man, that is disappointing..".He just starts crying. Then sobbing. :confused: He was disappointed but.....you know? And he won't lt it go either...why did they have to put it in the box, what a rip off, why is this in here etc. etc. etc in an ugly tone. Finally I told him to just go to bed. Geeze. I actually got pretty irritated. He could tell and did apologize later.

 

I know that I could-in the future- not show it to him until I have had a chance to look at it or better still just not buy the thing but this is just one example. Any little thing can set him off.

 

What in the world? Is it a phase? Normal? Of course I worry that it is me, I am too harsh, I am too lenient, I am too.....????

 

He didn't act like this last month!:tongue_smilie:

[dm379]

:lurk5:

[Daisy]

Uh yep, you just described my 8yo son.

 

Cries easily but then gets mad because he is embarrassed that he is crying.

 

Annoys the heck out of his sister. Gets in her face. Just WON'T leave her alone.

 

Loud. Easily excited. Jumps up and down. Inevitably this leads to some sort of damage to property or people.

 

Sweet and cuddly one minute and whining and bickering with his sister the next.

 

Never wants to do school work unless it means reading.

 

Obsessed with magic tricks, constellations, and Star Wars. Thinks writing is torture.

 

Not exactly a hard worker with anything. He dawdles and gets easily distracted when told to do anything.

 

Forgets what you tell him to do in less than 10 seconds. Then tries to convince you that you didn't say anything.

 

Do I need to continue? We are of course continuing to work on his character. It just seems a lot harder with him than it was with his sister. He's my dreamer though.

Edited August 18, 2010 by Daisy

[K&Rs Mom]

Annoys the heck out of his sister. Gets in her face. Just WON'T leave her alone.

 

Loud. Easily excited. Jumps up and down. Inevitably this leads to some sort of damage to property or people.

 

Sweet and cuddly one minute and whining and bickering with his sister the next.

 

Never wants to do school work unless it means reading.

 

This sounds like my just-turned-8yo. She's started pestering little sister just because she's bored and wants sister to react. The crying over stupid things seems somewhat improved lately, but if she's tired or hungry it comes back.

[Sophia]

Well, I'm on my 4th 8 y.o. and I can't say any of them have been overly sensitive at that age.

As they approach puberty...oh my word, that's a different story, and I got nothing for ya...but at 8~they're still pretty sweet.

 

An idea that occurred to me reading your example is he really needs to be redirected (guided?) before his disposition sours.

$2 for legos is still a great deal even if it's incomplete and maybe he can show you some new creative designs he can create on his own?

 

I know my dc can take many things for granted and need to be reminded to count their blessings when tempted to gripe.

I will confess they probably picked up this attribute from me :blush5:, dh always sees that darn cup as half full while I see how much has spilled or been otherwise wasted.

Anyway...maybe he could use an exercise in looking for three positive things about something he's tempted to cry about. You could make a game about it and race to see who thinks about three things first.

[Remudamom]

None of mine were like this...............I dunno.

[jentancalann]

both of my oldest were like this. ds is now 9 1/2 and has grown out of it (for the most part). i have said, on several occasions, that 8 is my least favorite year!

[bookfiend]

I have one who is eight, and one who has been through eight. I was surprised by the clinginess (sp?). Really, I have 60 lbs of "Oh, I love you soooooo much" sitting on my lap and squeezing me all day. It reminds me of the early 5's. He is definitely more sensitive now.

 

I try to keep reading development books, beyond the toddler years as they really help with perspective. My favorites are some oldies, but goodies. Your Eight Year Old by Louise Bates; they publish one for every year until 10. http://www.amazon.com/Your-Eight-Year-Old-Outgoing/dp/0440506816

[Aubrey]

Example: I went to the thrift store tonight and found a lego kit for 2.00. It looked old but I thought for 2 dollars it was worth a try yk.....so I show it to ds and he opens it. It is obvious a lot of the pieces are missing and i say "Oh man, that is disappointing..".He just starts crying. Then sobbing. :confused: He was disappointed but.....you know? And he won't lt it go either...why did they have to put it in the box, what a rip off, why is this in here etc. etc. etc in an ugly tone. Finally I told him to just go to bed. Geeze. I actually got pretty irritated. He could tell and did apologize later.

 

My 9yo has always been very sensitive. I don't think I'd go as far as to call his tears "bratty"--in his case, he's truly that sensitive.

 

Ex: Our dear friends just moved out of state. He considers their 10yo his bf. The other day, he said something about being sad about leaving the garden we have at this house when we move "because it symbolizes S."

 

S looked at the garden w/ ds last time he was here. Ds attaches GREAT meaning to everything. In this case, we talked. I told him that that kind of symbolism will create problems for him, etc.

 

Back to your ds. Mine is crying a lot less. I hadn't realized it, though, until replying to this post. He still tears up very easily, eyes get red around the rim, & it drives me BATTY. I don't tolerate tears well at. all.

 

Anyway, reading what your ds said about the legos reminded me of mine. You might try explaining to him how the donation, pricing, purchasing happens at thrift stores, so that he can *see* that nobody cheated him on purpose. I bet he'll be surprised by this information, even if you think he already knows. They don't always put the info together like we think they will, kwim?

 

:grouphug: I think 7 was the really hard yr for me, but that crying, melancholy personality is SO hard to take. He's lucky he gets it from me, or I doubt I'd *ever* undesrtand! ;)

[....]

I have an 8 yro girl, but she's almost 9. We're hitting the scary world of puberty already, so she's been very moody/crabby lately. The puberty thing is really freakin' me out. I wasn't ready for it yet. :confused:

 

Anyway, my daughter's like a mini-adult. She'll answer the phone, change the 2 yro's pull-up, clean up the house, switch over the laundry, run out and get the mail...

 

What you're describing sounds more like my 7 yro son. I was playing with him yesterday and I think he thought I was making fun of him or something. Anyway, he punched (yes, punched) me in the eye with his little fist and was crying tears. Needless to say, it was a rough evening for him. I'm only 5'2", so I've gotta get my bluff in now, before all 4 of them are towering over me. :glare:

[Carrie12345]

My 7yo dd is *exactly* like that.

My 8yo dd is similar, except she waits for a few incidents to build up and then lets go out of nowhere.

[lulubelle]

I have a current just turned 8 yo ds. He is not like that at all. He can get angry and have a fit from time to time, but never teary. He would never come back and apologize to me though - that's pretty nice.

[kwg]

Thank you everyone!

 

I put the book suggestion on hold at the library. We talked this morning about how the donation thing works and thrift stores, etc. He did not understand it prior so I think that def helped. Thank you! Also, I gave him the challenge of using the new pieces to make something new of his own and he perked up and got right to it. That helped too!

 

I think the part that felt bratty to me was the part where complaining (continuously!) instead of being happy he got some new legos. Even if it was not that much or what he expected. I do need to redirect him faster when things start to turn.

 

Thank you to everyone who replied that their dc is similar. I was really worried what others must think- about him and my parenting :tongue_smilie:. He is a sweet child. I hope it isn't puberty already. He just turned 8! That is too young!!!

 

Thank you again!

[Aubrey]

I think the part that felt bratty to me was the part where complaining (continuously!) instead of being happy he got some new legos. Even if it was not that much or what he expected. I do need to redirect him faster when things start to turn.

 

I totally get what you're saying, & I probably would have felt like mine was being ungrateful int that situation, too, but from a distance--imagine if you bought a kit--all-in-one curric, or a craft kit, or whatever, & you got it home, & pieces were missing. As if it had been used at the store. If it's new, but there's no return policy, you're MAD. You've been ripped off!

 

I imagine his reaction was like that--not aimed at you at all, but feeling cheated, kwim? He might have seen it as somebody ruined the gift his mother tried to give him, so it disappointed him because of the toy, hurt his feelings because you'd been tricked/cheated/hurt, & touched his sense of justice in a way that almost only children can experience. It's awful to feel helpless AND cheated.

 

Is he usually ungrateful, or did this behavior surprise you? If it was a surprise, I wouldn't worry about it & figure some or all of the above applies. If he's usually ungrateful, then you should blow me off. ;)

 

I really hope that helps. And I wish somebody would tell me the same thing when mine acts strangely. I just flip out. :001_huh:

[K&Rs Mom]

I think the part that felt bratty to me was the part where complaining (continuously!) instead of being happy he got some new legos. Even if it was not that much or what he expected. I do need to redirect him faster when things start to turn.

 

When mine start acting like that, I make them say something showing gratitude. Like if one is complaining because the other one got new shoes, she will have to come up with something like "I'm thankful I have healthy strong feet to get places." It has to be somewhat related, and usually it helps break that cycle before it gets too far along.

[elise1mds]

My son is 7, but we're SO there. He bawls about everything. I've gotten to the point where I look at him and say, "Really?" It's probably not the best idea, but good grief. It's a losing battle. If he wants to play a game and nobody else wants to, tears. If we DO play the game and he loses, tears. If there are pieces missing from the game, tears. It's a no-win situation, and I've just about had it. I've been talking a lot about appropriate responses vs. inappropriate responses lately, and he's trying to suck it up. A lot of times he'll take a deep breath and while he's holding it in, I'll ask him if it's really a big deal. The answer used to be YES!! most of the time, but we're working on that, too. I'm glad I'm not alone. It drives me crazy.

[nmoira]

My 8yo has only just started getting it together again. She's sensitive to begin with, but *really* started obsessing about growing up and death this year (instead of just obsessing). For some reason 8 felt more grown up to her and there was an immediacy she hadn't previously experienced. We've talked it out here and there as she was able over the last few months.

[Momling]

Well, I'm on my 4th 8 y.o. and I can't say any of them have been overly sensitive at that age.

As they approach puberty...oh my word, that's a different story, and I got nothing for ya...but at 8~they're still pretty sweet.

 

 

 

My 8 yr old has become quite moody in the past few months too. I actually think it might be puberty related, as she has had breast buds for about 6 months now and appears to be in a massive growth spurt. All I can say is that I'm sure I deserve this and much worse given the torment I put my own parents through at this age.

[....]

My 8 yr old has become quite moody in the past few months too. I actually think it might be puberty related, as she has had breast buds for about 6 months now and appears to be in a massive growth spurt. All I can say is that I'm sure I deserve this and much worse given the torment I put my own parents through at this age.

 

Yeah. :glare: Our 8 (almost 9 yro) is hitting puberty too. It started as a gigantic growth spurt (she's 4'7" now and I'm 5'2") and she's had conspicuous "changes" as well. :crying: I know this is probably about average for girls right now, but I just wasn't ready for this yet.

 

They had some article out about puberty recently - something like 20% of girls hit puberty by age 9 now (don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure that was the #). :confused:

[Homeschooling Hannah]

thanks for posting....I'm glad I'm not the only one out there with an 8 year old son like that.:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: