ccmom Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hello fellow moms, I really need to vent and get some encouragement. We have been doing great homeschooling, but every now and then (probably twice per year) I feel very bad. We live in a tiny community and I have met most of our local homeschoolers. In a nutshell, we simply don't fit in and never have-believe me, I have tried everything, until my only choice was to extract ourselves altogether from the homeschool community. This was the best thing we ever did. Nonetheless, here we are, unable to move away, and we are stuck here with no homeschool support network. It really stinks sometimes. My kids have gotten involved in different activities not related to homeschooling, so that's been good for them. But sometimes it hits me that I really wish I could meet just one or two nice families in our town to share our homeschooling adventures. I went onto some Yahoo groups and it's all of the same names/players - the people who I would rather stay away from. So going back to these groups is really NOT an option for us. I am sick today and feeling terrible, so my brain is spending too much time wishing things were a little different. What can I do to make things better without having to be around those ugly people? Any ideas? Please don't ask me to put myself back with them.. I've done that a few too many times. I've been kind to them (probably too nice) only to have them treat us very badly. I know that if we lived in a larger community it would NOT be this way. I never had these troubles until I moved to this small town, and I believe it's the result of being a VERY small town, which happens to be heavy on public assistance, and light on the availability of families with stay home moms, so the homeschool community is very thin. Thanks for listening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I'm sorry. The good news is that your kids are able to find social opportunities in other ways, without being involved specifically in a homeschool group, and that you can get homeschool support on forums like this one. You should have social opportunities for YOU in real life. But they don't necessarily have to be related to homeschooling! A book club, a writer's club, bingo, a stay-at-home-mom's group, a bowling league, time out with other friends... whatever it is that YOU like to do, make sure that you are getting some occasional opportunities to do it! Another thought: What if you try to start your own homeschooling group- and maybe, just maybe, you'll find a couple of others like you, who are also looking for something different. Put in your group's description what you envision for your group- and maybe you'll find a few others who are envisioning something similar. But if that doesn't work out- see the paragraph above. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandellie4 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 :grouphug: I don't have any suggestions for you; we've had that experience on and off during our homeschooling. But I wanted to give you and your family a hug. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Is it for you or for your kids that you think you want this local community? Sounds like your kids are getting their social needs met with other programs. Maybe your needs can be met online (like here :D). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccmom Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Thank you for your replies. Fortunately, my kids seem pretty satisfied. They have each other, for one thing, and they look forward to their various activities. They stay busy. I think it is me who mostly needs some support. Sometimes I can really feel the fact that I do not have friendships here. There is a great books discussion group at my library, as well as a knitting group that I've been thinking of joining. I might just do those. Thank you for the hugs!! Every now and then I can really use them!!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam L in Mid Tenn Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Share your homeschooling adventures with us! Then, find some other ladies in your town with a different interest. Knitting maybe? Painting? A writer's group? or just a couple of friends to share a cup of coffee with. ((( hugs ))) I really don't fit it to well with the group in my tiny little town either! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Thank you for your replies. Fortunately, my kids seem pretty satisfied. They have each other, for one thing, and they look forward to their various activities. They stay busy. I think it is me who mostly needs some support. Sometimes I can really feel the fact that I do not have friendships here. There is a great books discussion group at my library, as well as a knitting group that I've been thinking of joining. I might just do those. Thank you for the hugs!! Every now and then I can really use them!!:001_smile: I like this idea. I used to have a group of 5 friends (me included) and none of them homeschooled (except for me.) Now, 2 years later, four of us homeschool. Maybe if you meet other people, they might get inspired. Or not. Either way, I had a great time with my friends before they homeschooled and I'm having a great time with them after they started homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommamia Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Wanted to give you :grouphug: I could have written your post...just wanted you to know that I understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaC Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Sending :grouphug:. I just mentioned to my dd today the possibility of looking for another group, and her reply was a quick, "Please, no!" :) I have two great girlfriends who homeschool--neither lives closer than 5 hours from me. So, we talk on the phone, and I spend more time in this hive than maybe I should. I would love to find just one or two homeschooling families we can do some things with, but I'm with you--we just cannot do the "group" thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccmom Posted August 18, 2010 Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 You all are fast to reply. I feel much better now just being understood. It's so good to know I'm not the only one who isn't a "groupie." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Hang in their, momma! :grouphug: I do know what you mean, truly. It sounds like your kids are flourishing though, so know that you are doing right by them, and do feel good about that. This group is my homeschool support network. I like it here. I wish I could hang out with you gals IRL but I'm grateful to have this place in which we can interact, bounce ideas off of one another, and generally just be supportive of one another. Most of my IRL homeschooling friends are scattered far and wide. It sounds like you have a few ideas of places that you might meet some friends. I hope you get a chance to explore those options. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.W Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Blogging is also a great way of getting the support you need. You don't even have to blog yourself (although it helps others get to know you). Just find some bloggers with similar interests and start reading regularly and commenting. Before I started blogging I would have never guessed that some of my closest friends would be on the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 (edited) Here's a silly question I ask myself when I get down about not having any other "homeschool" moms to talk to... If I sent DD to public school would I worry about making friends with the other PS moms? Probably not...I didn't with DS so why would I do it with DD? I homeschool because I don't like the PS system nor the church school that DD was going to. I think I can do a better job than either of those choices. I don't HS to make friends with other HS people. DD gets a lot of activities without doing them with other HSers. We farm, camp, travel when possible, go swimming, to the movies, to church/sunday school, she also goes camping, 4wheeling etc with her dad on his days. She hangs out with both of my sisters kids and not many other kids and that is OK by me. I at least know the influence she is getting at my sisters houses. AND...I get to hang out with the best HS group of all....THE HIVE!!! Edited August 18, 2010 by misidawnrn added Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I've been in AZ for over ten years and I'm on my 5th year homeschooling and we do not have one single friend that homeschools or that is homeschooled. My ds's best friends (twins) were homeschooled for a few years, but went to ps. I have tried homeschool groups, but I do not fit the mold and I'm not going to morph into someone I'm not in order to be accepted. I have no problem with people who don't think like I do and I believe everyone has something good and worthy to offer, but unfortunately that attitude has not been reciprocated back to me. We have friends that don't homeschool and that are not homeschooled and I've learned to accept that people are just people. Homeschooling is not in any way my identity - it's just something that we do. We do school at home. I don't see my kids differently than other kids. Kids are kids. I've quit stressing about not having a homeschool circle. I do our school on our own and if we want to go on a field trip - we just do it. If we ever find another family that clicks with us, wonderful. I would be thrilled, but in the meantime, I accept life as it is and I don't get my mind on a path where I create illusions that somehow we are missing out. My kids are happy, I'm happy, and that just has to be enough. Don't give yourself a headache - just be! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 We're not much into other homeschoolers either. We belong to boy scout and girl scout troops/dens that are full of public school kids. We spend more time with ps kids than we do with hs kids. I will say that we're friends with another homeschool family who are incredible. We co-op together a little. This semester, we're meeting once a week and I'm teaching science to the 2nd-3rd graders and she's teaching art to the K-ers. Is there another family you guys are good friends with? Maybe you could corrupt them into the world of homeschooling. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I'm another mom who doesn't fit in (hence the name :D). It can be very discouraging. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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