tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) UPDATE: Oh, it gets even better -- today, the Hippie Chick FINALLY replied back to the Princess saying if she wants the party done a certain way -- then she needs to do it herself. Wow. Go hippie chick! :D I then replied to hippie and princess saying hippie girl has a good point. And then politely gave a long list of excuses why the party can't be at my place and I'm too busy to do it. (Guess what happened next...?) An hour later -- the princess shows up at my door. I knew why she showed up. She was not pleased. But she did not raise a stink or yelled. She looked upset and kind of pouted. I held my ground (thanks to the Hive!!) and did not waver. I told her exactly why I posted the message -- and pointed to my calendar that was jammed pack full. At that point, my hubby came by and said to princess, "Oh yeah. She is overcommitted at this point." Which princess look peeved but didn't say anything. ;) Hubby left for a meeting. I expected princess to leave too. She stayed and to my surprise, there was not an argument. I could tell she was not happy -- but I smiled and acted nonchalant. Finally, she did unload a lot of drama that was going on in her life. (i.e. she didn't have enough $, she didn't know where she was going to stay once there at the school, Hippie Chick doesn't know how to throw a party, her brother called to yell at her for being foolish to do this, the Sushi party hostess offended her by not keeping her in on the party list, etc.) I ooohed and awwwed while she talked. Passed her the kleenex box. And acted like a therapist. I then asked her polite questions as to why it was that important she be in control. She said it was an issue in her life. I suggested she try to relax, let go, and trust people. (I did not feel it was the time to judge her on her choices with this new path in her life.) I then said she needs to go to Hippie Chick and apologize. Hippie Chick will do a good job with the party. I also suggested she try to call the church sponsoring the school and tell them she is in need of room/board. Maybe a church family will rent a room to her? Yadda, yadda, yadda. She finally left. *SIGH* Now I have a headache... :glare: Edited August 17, 2010 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Egads. Can you leave town until after her flight leaves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) Some things have occurred and now I am beginning to wonder if this young lady is selfish or too indulged by parents? Q: Now I feel I should go to the honoree and explain in detail WHY I cannot host or open my apartment for the party. I feel a bit bad for leaving it like this days before she leaves. Another part of me is mad and thinking WHY ON EARTH isn't she throwing her own party at her house?? (Aaaaauuuuugh.) :glare: She sounds a tad selfish/indulged based on what you've described. You don't owe her (or her parents) an explanation as to why you can't host (or be involved in the planning/organizing of) a party. I think a simple "Oh, thanks for thinking of me as a potential host for this party! I'm sorry I won't be able to host at this time." is perfectly sufficient. Good luck! Edited to add: why can't the parents host the party? That would seem (to me) to be the most logical thing here... Edited August 17, 2010 by Dandelion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Selfish *and* pushy. I like your phrase about "not wanting to steal the blessing" from hippie gal. I must remember that and use it in the future.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 You *didn't* leave it until the last minute. You respectfully declined to get involved in planning the party, and the girl who agreed to throw the party is the one who left it until last minute. I don't think you owe anyone any explanation except for "Sorry, that doesn't work for me!" You have nothing to feel guilty about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Egads. Can you leave town until after her flight leaves? I know. :leaving: I've been on very good terms with this gal up 'til now. And understand and am trying not to judge parents. But now that I am drawn into the drama -- I find myself getting resentful. It seems like she has to be the center of the universe? Hubby reassures me and tells me, "She has no other family." :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 heh. Some people. Hide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Q: Now I feel I should go to the honoree and explain in detail WHY I cannot host or open my apartment for the party. I feel a bit bad for leaving it like this days before she leaves. Another part of me is mad and thinking WHY ON EARTH isn't she throwing her own party at her house?? (Aaaaauuuuugh.) :glare: Ever heard "he who excuses himself, accuses himself"? You don't owe explanations to her and you shouldn't behave as if you did owe explanations to her. There is a certain "predator" profile of people (not saying that that's the case, it just looks like that to me :D) who sense insecurity and then try to push you this way. The bottomline is to step away and look what exactly is being asked and what is it that you feel you need to elaborate on to those people. Your apartment for a party. Ahem, NO - it's a private property that YOU decide whether you're going to host the party, and you're also not obliged to inform other people of your reasons for refusing to host a party. It's totally irrelevant whether you can't do it for "objective" reasons or you "can't" do it out of your own personal comfort only. Etiquette-wise (:D), they aren't supposed to even inquire into your reasons - and I don't think in this particular situation you should volunteer to elaborate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 You *didn't* leave it until the last minute. You respectfully declined to get involved in planning the party, and the girl who agreed to throw the party is the one who left it until last minute. I don't think you owe anyone any explanation except for "Sorry, that doesn't work for me!" You have nothing to feel guilty about. I hear ya. This weekend, mom must have complained to others -- as another friend threw a goodbye Sushi party for the gal at a pricey restaurant. We couldn't attend as we can't afford $9 a roll. But we wished the honoree good wishes and gave the Sushi hostess our regrets. It was kind of her. I think selfish honoree needs to give the hippie chick time and it will be a great party. *OMG - my head hurts* :ohmy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolosoli Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I think that you are handling it beautifully!!!!! I also think they are being pushy, rude and disrespectful! I wouldn't budge an inch to be honest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Don't call and explain. Just leave it alone. It's really rude to ask someone else to throw you a party. I mean, I'm not really good with etiquette most of the time (at least, I've realized that after reading some of the etiquette threads on this board), but even I know that you don't ask someone else to throw you a party. I would act completely unaware that there was any drama going on about it. Blithely ignorant. Wide-eyed innocent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 What would Chuck Norris do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 I think that you are handling it beautifully!!!!! I also think they are being pushy, rude and disrespectful! I wouldn't budge an inch to be honest! :grouphug: Thanks! But I really, really... R-E-A-L-L-Y need to vent. LOL Auuuugh. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I couldn't imagine asking someone to through a party for me or my child either one. I don't think you need any further explanation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 What would Chuck Norris do? Chuck would kick butt and ask questions later... haaaaaaaaaaa!!! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Is this the same gal who was bugging you before (with the boyfriend)? About helping her with a car, etc? (Am I remembering this correctly?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Chuck would kick butt and ask questions later... haaaaaaaaaaa!!! :lol::lol::lol: Roundhouse kick her entitled bum to the curb. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Q: Now I feel I should go to the honoree and explain in detail WHY I cannot host or open my apartment for the party. I feel a bit bad for leaving it like this days before she leaves. Another part of me is mad and thinking WHY ON EARTH isn't she throwing her own party at her house?? (Aaaaauuuuugh.) :glare: Shhhhhh. Say nothing. And when her dad wants you to drive out and pick her up because he has no more bonus miles, tell them you've blown a head gasket. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) Is this the same gal who was bugging you before (with the boyfriend)? About helping her with a car, etc? (Am I remembering this correctly?) LOL - I'm impressed! Good memory. Actually, the hippie chick is the wife of the guy who did not know how to change the tire of his car. Amongst other "we're the parent-adoptee newlyweds" issues with that relationship. Eeeeeee. ;) Edited August 17, 2010 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Roundhouse kick her entitled bum to the curb. :D :lol::lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Around #2 or #3 it went WAAAAAAAAAY past selfish and skidded into downright spoiled little brat. I'd back away... and fast... from anything having to do with this person. Period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 To quote Moss from IT Crowd: "Walk Away.....just Walk Away". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 As everyone said, "No." and no excuses. I would be taking bets on when she drops out of the Bible program and what type of excuse she will use. I lose a lot of respect for the parents for letting this situation come about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I'm sorry. I *must* be reading this wrong. She's twenty-NINE? The only thing you're allowed to feel is angry. Personally? You've said no. I wouldn't return any more emails or phone calls. But I've got a mother who caves to everything (which I refuse to be), & I can't stand confrontation. So I just. stop. Contact is only advised through Remudamom. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I feel badly for this woman who doesn't yet know the joy of helping her family. I hope the Bible Camp is a good wake-up call for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I agree with everybody else. NO explanations. "I'm sorry, I can't." Rinse and repeat. ... And hide, maybe. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Don't call and explain. Just leave it alone. It's really rude to ask someone else to throw you a party. I mean, I'm not really good with etiquette most of the time (at least, I've realized that after reading some of the etiquette threads on this board), but even I know that you don't ask someone else to throw you a party. I would act completely unaware that there was any drama going on about it. Blithely ignorant. Wide-eyed innocent. :iagree:!!!!! These gals are both out to lunch :rolleyes: The fact that they don't even recognize how inappropriate it is to impose on you with their requests is ridiculous. They're not kids...they're adults. They really should know better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I'm sorry. I *must* be reading this wrong. She's twenty-NINE? Contact is only advised through Remudamom. ;) Oh! I'd love to "contact" this little brat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Oh! I'd love to "contact" this little brat. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Geez, I was spoiled by my parents in many ways, but she's WAY beyond that. Stick to your guns. You have a life, she should get one. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 I'm sorry. I *must* be reading this wrong. She's twenty-NINE? I know... unreal, right??? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Around #2 or #3 it went WAAAAAAAAAY past selfish and skidded into downright spoiled little brat. I'd back away... and fast... from anything having to do with this person. Period. *whew* For a while, I was thinking I was the only one (in my circle of friends) who thought this. Yikes. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Geez, I was spoiled by my parents in many ways, but she's WAY beyond that. Stick to your guns. You have a life, she should get one. :glare: Thank you. I was shocked to get a PM by her mom too complaining that the princess has her feelings hurt. It is good to hear what I was thinking voiced by others. This is why I love the Hive!!! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Thank you. I was shocked to get a PM by her mom too complaining that the princess has her feelings hurt.It is good to hear what I was thinking voiced by others. This is why I love the Hive!!! ;) Okay... let me get this straight... her mommy messaged you to say her wittle (29 year old) girl's precious feelings were hurt? For cryin' out loud! The eye rolling smilie isn't anywhere near big enough to respond to that properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) Okay, what I would like to know is: Who is gonna throw me a party for making dinner tonight? :lol: I'll whine til I get my party! :tongue_smilie: Okay, okay, this is bad, but this re-do of the song came to mind: "It's my party and I'll whine if I want to, whine if I want to, whine if I want to. You would cry, too-if-no-one-wanted-to-throw-you-a-going-away-party-that-you-totally-roped-other-people-into-giving-you, TOO!" DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH!!!! Edited August 17, 2010 by ThatCyndiGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Thank you. I was shocked to get a PM by her mom too complaining that the princess has her feelings hurt. An adult person nearing her 30s uses her mother as a personal advocate via whom she communicates with you? Wow. That's not spoiling the child - that's making an invalid (socially, emotionally, you name it) out of your child. No socially sane person would do that past her, well, early teens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Did I miss something? I thought the proper response was, "No, I am unable to help out at this time. Would you like some bean dip?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Contact is only advised through Remudamom. ;) This. I was just going to post, "WWRMD?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Okay... let me get this straight... her mommy messaged you to say her wittle (29 year old) girl's precious feelings were hurt? For cryin' out loud! The eye rolling smilie isn't anywhere near big enough to respond to that properly. YES... before the princess boldly PM'ed me and the (adorable) hippie gal. Her mom PM'ed me complaining that princess was upset that no one was going to do anything for her as a goodbye event. Me? Besides in shock over the PM message from her mom -- was like, uh -- why don't you and your hubby throw princess a party?? (Thoughts but never said out loud. I know. I'm a wimp. :D) Then a day later, another friend must have gotten the mom's PM complaint and she threw the princess a Sushi party at a pricey restaurant. Everyone had to pay their own meal -- which is why we gave regrets and could not afford it. But it was kind of her. And then days later... I get the PM from princess asking if I could team up with hippie chick to throw her a party? Tacky? Yes! Absolutely. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzyfizzle Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Is this the same gal who was bugging you before (with the boyfriend)? About helping her with a car, etc? (Am I remembering this correctly?) LOL! I was wondering the same thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Okay, what I would like to know is: Who is gonna throw me a party for making dinner tonight? :lol: I'll whine til I get my party! :tongue_smilie: Okay, okay, this is bad, but this re-do of the song came to mind: "It's my party and I'll whine if I want to, whine if I want to, whine if I want to. You would cry, too-if-no-one-wanted-to-throw-you-a-going-away-party-that-you-totally-roped-other-people-into-giving-you, TOO!" DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH!!!! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 LOL! I was wondering the same thing! :D I know ladies -- my life needs the Hive (as the voice of reason) constantly. HAAAAAAA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzyfizzle Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Okay... let me get this straight... her mommy messaged you to say her wittle (29 year old) girl's precious feelings were hurt? For cryin' out loud! The eye rolling smilie isn't anywhere near big enough to respond to that properly. :lol: Uh, these chicks are wacked. I swear I think the whole world has gone mad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 :lol: Uh, these chicks are wacked. I swear I think the whole world has gone mad! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzyfizzle Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 :D I know ladies -- my life needs the Hive (as the voice of reason) constantly. HAAAAAAA. :lol: Boy, I could tell ya some fun stories about what I am surrounded by. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 She doesn't need a party. She needs a spanking. Just my .02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 If you throw her a party, I want mine too. How does next weekend look for you???:tongue_smilie: btw - we are allergic to pets and nuts so please clear your place of these items immediately and disenfect from top to bottom. And, make sure you have plenty of bean dip...for some reason all my friends keep asking me for bean dip, bean dip, bean dip... :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) Can a 29yo even BE a brat? Doesn't she get Promoted to Something Worse? What were we doing at 29? (OP, would that help you to put things in perspective?) I had finished my MA, taught for...nearly 15 yrs...hs'ed for 4...gave birth to my 4th baby...buried my father...bought, renovated, & sold a house...done my own taxes for around 15 yrs...been married for 10 Edited August 17, 2010 by Aubrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 If you throw her a party, I want mine too. How does next weekend look for you???:tongue_smilie: btw - we are allergic to pets and nuts so please clear your place of these items immediately and disenfect from top to bottom. And, make sure you have plenty of bean dip...for some reason all my friends keep asking me for bean dip, bean dip, bean dip... :001_huh: :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 Can a 29yo even BE a brat? Doesn't she get Promoted to Something Worse? What were we doing at 29? (OP, would that help you to put things in perspective?) I had finished my MA, taught for...nearly 15 yrs...hs'ed for 4...gave birth to my 4th baby...buried my father...bought, renovated, & sold a house...done my own taxes for around 15 yrs...been married for 10 Good point! At 29, I had a one year old, hubby and I were working full time, buried my mom, had been married for 9 years at that point, paying the mortgage, and had already paid off my student loans. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.