pooping problems!

[AnnieM]

Hi All!

 

My 3 year old daughter will not poop in the potty. We have tried everything we could think of. It has become so bad that she will hold it for several days at a time. We have given up on urging her to try the potty and simply want her to just use the diaper. However, even a diaper seems terrible to her at this point. Honestly, it is driving us nuts!! She wants to constantly be held and has even had a temp of 103 degrees after holding it for 4 days!! I know she is suffering and so are we!! What do we do?

 

Thanks,

Annie:confused:

[happi duck]

dd did this too around that age. It was miserable for everyone and then one day it was no longer an issue, don't know why and I don't even remember what ages she did this. She doesn't remember why either.

 

If I am remembering correctly, we were told to give her a good dose of mineral oil everyday and make sure she drank enough water. dd didn't mind the oil at all, she remembers drinking it. We were told to stay away from harsh laxatives. If she went a whole week without going we were advised to use a glycerin suppository, which always worked.

 

Hang in there!

Edited August 13, 2010 by happi duck

[Lara in Colo]

We went through this with DD1. She could wait 10-14 days and then scream as this HUGE poop would force it's way out. This is a horror to go through. Right now, today go get some Miralax. They cannot taste it, it takes just a little to soften up the poo. It will take a while to find the right dosage (usually about .5-1 teaspoon a day) and the urge to purge will be regular once again. If you want more details of our journey pm me.

 

Lara

[Melissa in Australia]

My ds had this. he ended up straining his bowel, and his bowl muscles had to be retrained. I took him to the doctor for it. their advice was a chart with stickers, take him to the toilet and read to him while he sits on the toilet for 15 minutes every 2 hours while awake, and give laxatives once a day. after 2 weeks he was right again. the doctor explained to me that it wasn't my ds being naughty, but he probably started out constipated, and it hurt so he started holding it in, and strained his bowel.

[Onceuponatime]

Along with what the others have said, it might also be a privacy issue. One of my sons at 2 1/2 would not have a bm in the toilet and I finally realized it was because I was in the room and he was embarrassed! So I verbally gave him permission to go to the bathroom without me. It was amazing how quickly he potty trained after that.

[TheCoffeeChick]

My ds did the holding thing for a while at that age too. :glare: My pediatrician told me it was more than likely a control issue - as in it was the one thing he had control over in his life and he wasn't going to go until HE said so. :confused: I don't know if that is true or not, but I did start letting him make his own decisions about a few things starting then - like what do you want for breakfast or lunch, or pick out your clothes for the day (no matter how uncoordinated they may be), or pick out some apples at the grocery store to buy. It's not that I didn't want him to make decisions before, it's just that it was easier for me to do it.

 

So, in the end I don't know if it was the control issue or he just out grew it, but eventually he stopped holding it. One thing that almost always helped him go was to take a long, warm bath - just something about it that always made him need to go. ;)

 

:grouphug: I hope you find a solution soon, it is a miserable experience.

[stripe]

Where does she pee? Does she like using the potty? (My kids never used one and seemed to think it was weird; that's why I ask.) Is she comfortable, wherever she is? (One of my kids was a bit wobbly on the toilet; I used a potty seat for a while.)

 

A really good book about this is It Hurts When I Poop!: A Story for Children Who Are Scared to Use the Potty by Howard J. Bennett (M.D.), but it has more of a constipation angle. I know a lot of people make fun of the name, but she might find it helpful.

[NanceXToo]

The ped could probably help you with what to use for the constipation at this point, but I definitely wouldn't push the potty issue until she's ready.

 

Many kids won't start using the potty for that til right around four years old, as was the case with my son. He was getting closer and closer to his fourth birthday and I was thinking he was never going to use the potty, and then two months before he turned four, he just started using it. One of my nephews just started pooping on the potty finally, too... one month before his fourth birthday.

[littlebug42]

When my dd has constipation issues, I give her a few ounces of Plum Smart juice in the mornings. She likes it mixed with a little orange juice. This always helps things stay moving and I feel better with her drinking it than the Miralax and it works just as well for her. I would check with your doc about the best way to get things moving now though since things have gotten pretty bad.

[dansamy]

Warm prune juice.

[Brenda in FL]

I had this problem with one of my children too. He just hated the whole sensation of having loose stools and would be so afraid that he would hold it and then that caused a whole other issue withthe pain of constipation. (hmmm - I so wish I had dx for sensory issues for him - I'm beginning to see now how all these pieces would have fit with that!)

 

Some things we tried:

Lots of canned fruit (with the syrup), dried apricots, Prune juice in everything!

 

He was too old to cooperate with using the suppositories unfortunately.

 

When it got really bad - (curled up on the couch refusing to move!) I'd get him in a warm bath or in the swimming pool - that seemed to be most effective in relaxing his body and forcing him to go (but giving him enough time to get on the toilet!!)

 

The good news: He finally outgrew it!!!!! :party:

[dirty ethel rackham]

Yes, please get the Miralax. You want the stool soft enough so that she can't withhold it. Then, you want to take advantage of the natural peristaltic action of the digestive system by having her sit on the toilet about 10 minutes (for about 10 minutes) after she eats anything and then, if she hasn't had a BM, repeat every 15 minutes or so for the next hour. If the stool is so soft, then it won't be painful to have a BM. Also, I would definitely recommend Miralax over mineral oil. Mineral oil mixed with poop stains everything orange. Plus, mineral oil also prevents the absorption of nutrients that these little bodies need.

 

If this goes on too long, she not only will develop a bad habit of withholding, she could damage her ability to read the signals of a bowel movement. She could become so chronically constipated that the softer stool will escape around the firm stool and she may start soiling without being aware of it. This could develop into encopresis. (Although docs say it is easy to treat, they lie. We were told that my son would be "cured" in 6 weeks of following their program, but it took years!!).

[stripe]

Dr Sears recommends flax seed oil, or preferably flax seed meal, over mineral oil. My kids actually liked this, but you can work it into stuff. I find blueberries and sweet potatoes work well; my kids really like the taste of prunes, so don't assume she won't.

[AnnieM]

I am so glad to hear that I am not alone in this issue! Thank you Moms for all your support! This forum is great!!!

 

My dd gets loads of fibers and flax! We are a fairly healthy-minded family so I don't believe that lack of fiber is the issue.

 

I have tried to sit her on the potty and encourage her to go but she just won't poop there. Peeing is no problem at all. Whenever she does poop in her diaper (the only place she will go), is has to be in a room all by herself so I think that privacy may be the issue, along with control.

 

I suppose I should just wait this out knowing that not too many kids go to college in big kid pants:tongue_smilie:

Annie

[Laurie]

 

My dd gets loads of fibers and flax! We are a fairly healthy-minded family so I don't believe that lack of fiber is the issue.

 

 

 

I hope she's drinking plenty of water to go with all that fiber. In case she doesn't like prune juice you can also try pear juice or apricot nectar.

 

I like the taste of stewed prunes that have been stewed in apple juice with a cinnamon stick. :001_smile:

 

Have you talked to the pediatrician about her fever?

Edited August 13, 2010 by Laurie

[bairnmama]

My ds did the same thing. He even got so constipated that he threw up. What worked for us was talking about trash. I asked him if he would want to live in our house if we never took out the kitchen trash. We talked about how that would make us sick and about how going to the bathroom is our body's way of taking out the trash. It took a few weeks of asking if he had "taken out his trash" to get him back in the habit of going, but he seemed proud to have a "job" to do, lol. Hope she gets relief quickly!

[Nakia]

The ped could probably help you with what to use for the constipation at this point, but I definitely wouldn't push the potty issue until she's ready.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

Warm prune juice.

 

Another :iagree: and if she won't drink it, give her prunes, everyday. My kids love prunes. :001_smile: If that doesn't work, definitely try something OTC, like Miralax.

 

Poor little thing. :grouphug:

[bairnmama]

I hope she's drinking plenty of water to go with all that fiber. In case she doesn't like prune juice you can also try pear juice or apricot nectar.

 

I like the taste of stewed prunes that have been stewed in apple juice with a cinnamon stick. :001_smile:

 

Have you talked to the pediatrician about her fever?

 

:iagree: My dd's ped told us that we could have been having her eat too much fiber at one point when she had problems (she was much older than your dd, though). I would suggest really increasing the liquids as well.

[Halcyon]

We went through this with DD1. She could wait 10-14 days and then scream as this HUGE poop would force it's way out. This is a horror to go through. Right now, today go get some Miralax. They cannot taste it, it takes just a little to soften up the poo. It will take a while to find the right dosage (usually about .5-1 teaspoon a day) and the urge to purge will be regular once again. If you want more details of our journey pm me.

 

Lara

 

THIS! BOTH my boys held their poop for up to two weeks. Elder ended up getting fissures as he wouldn't go (becaues it hurt so much). Miralax is the solution. Also get chocolate covered prunes (sunsweet, I believe) and make her drink a lot of water. This can become a HUGE issue. Also, for our younger, we make him sit on the potty every day at a set time. If he balks, we entice him by letting him play on DH's itouch. Also, we give a handful of m&m's every time he goes poop.

 

Good luck.

 

ETA: my kids both had been eating tons of fiber, so that wasn't an issue at all.

[May]

Had the same problem with dd. We gave her mineral oil and that seemed to do the trick. It did take a few months to resolve the issue.

[lailasmum]

My dd used to withold. From about 3 and a half yrs to 5 and a half. Its a nightmare. We think it was a control issue brought on by the stress of gaining a little brother. She also gained a few tics that come back when she gets stressed. She is highly strung. The easiest treatment was syrup of figs, but increasing water intake helps to stop it happen. She would go a week with out pooping. We did try just about every medicine going none worked as reliably as a hot bath. She has incredible self control.

[stripe]

My dd gets loads of fibers and flax! We are a fairly healthy-minded family so I don't believe that lack of fiber is the issue.

 

Yeah, I think it's easy for little kids to get too much fiber. In fact, in several British sources (cookbooks and internet reports such as these by the BBC) I've read warnings against kids getting too much fiber; this must be such a non-problem in the US that it's never mentioned here. However, in my kids' case, we also eat a lot of whole grains, and I think you can overdo it. Not only water but FAT needs to be part of their diet. A very low-fat diet is constipating (this is mentioned in the first of the BBC articles I linked to).

 

Blueberries work very well as mentioned before.

[Mona100]

I remember the days of withholding poop. I would make my daughter sit on the toilet and she would usually hold her favorite stuffed animal for support. For some strange reason, popcorn would make her go to the bathroom. She ate a lot of popcorn as a 4 year old.

[Cricket]

THIS! BOTH my boys held their poop for up to two weeks. Elder ended up getting fissures as he wouldn't go (becaues it hurt so much). Miralax is the solution. Also get chocolate covered prunes (sunsweet, I believe) and make her drink a lot of water. This can become a HUGE issue. Also, for our younger, we make him sit on the potty every day at a set time. If he balks, we entice him by letting him play on DH's itouch. Also, we give a handful of m&m's every time he goes poop.

 

Good luck.

 

ETA: my kids both had been eating tons of fiber, so that wasn't an issue at all.

 

I second the Miralax. It doesn't cause the cramping or loose stools that other laxatives ban cause but it makes it so they can't hold it in. Our dd's urologist has her on it. She takes half the adult dose once a day. She suffered recurring UTIs and kidney infections. Holding in her stool was only part of the problem but it was a big part. (She also had some anatomical issues with her ureters which she had surgery to correct.) If you hold it in, it puts pressure on the urinary tract and can also mean the child is holding in urine as well.

[SapphireStitch]

You might want to see if you can find out what position she is in when she poops in her diaper. My son always pooped standing up, and then balked when we wanted him to poop sitting down on the toilet. We finally got him a step stool high enough that he could put his feet firmly on it while he was sitting, and that seemed to give him the right sensation to be able to go.

 

He also had a tendency toward constipation in the preschool years, and I found that he was not drinking enough even though he got plenty of fiber. If I gave him water in a fancy travel water bottle he would carry it around with him and swill it down without any fuss.