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I love our ped


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Yesterday my kids had their quarterly check up with our ped. Yesterday was a fabulous appt. Usually he tells me how abnormal we are and questions if that is teh right thing for my abnormal kids. Yesterday he said to me, no matter how abnormal you guys are to society (he is referring to my attachment parenting, homeschooling etc), it is working, do not stop. In his opinion dd is "normalizing" Due largely to the work I have done with her. He says he always feels defeated when we come there because he can never seem to find something to help us. BUt he says as he is watching the kids grow and change before him he is able to say that being abnormal with abnormal kids definitely works when mom is determined to make it work.

 

AND he has always been against homeschooling. He doesn't push his opinion on it but makes it known every visit. This time we talked a bit about it when he was asking about our town. WHen I told him about the mentality we have found with the townsfolk, and the behaviour of the kids in this town he is 100% fully supportive of us continueing to homeschool her. He said he was prepared to again tell me she should be in school especailly once he realized she was much better than she has ever been. But he agrees fully that doing so at this point with those kids would set us back big time after years of hard work to get her to where she is. He says he feels she can drop several of the labels attached to her name and forsees her having a very very bright future. Opposite of what we have heard for years about her.

 

In regards to Austin, he is impressed with the changes he is seeing in him. He says he can see we are headed in the right direction and is eager to see what happens int he coming years. Though right now he is looking at ds as being a potential study. See for years I have said it is like ds is 2-3 years behind his peers. NOt just acadmeically but over all, emotionally, psychologically etc. Physically up until now he was keeping up with his peers, he has certainly developed the same height, build etc of those his age. But shows 0 signs of being anywhere near the onset of puberty. The dr started talking excited about how curious this was, and perhaps there is something to me saying he is behind his peers. Now he is curious to see if physically we will be looking at the same situation. We will wait until ds is going on 14 before even thinking of him being behind in that regard. But the ped was very excited when talking about doing bone age at that time if puberty has not started and seeing if there will be some correlation between what I have been seeing mentally with him and if his physical changes etc start to match that. I do not consider him behind in this area at all, I think turning 12 is a perfectly normal range. THe ped agrees at this point but thinks it is interesting that both my side and his father's side hit puberty young (as in between 9-11) yet ds shows 0 signs (and dd is showing only the very earliest signs).

 

Anyway in the end it was a very good appt. Hunter and Isabelle were deemed to be practically perfect (though both of us agree Hunter is clearly ADHD- something we have discussed for almost 2 year now- and since it really is impacting Hunter's learning, and his social abilities in groups I have agreed to try a very low dose med in the mornings to help him focus for school and at his daycamp. Having BTDT witht eh older 2 I am not letting his issues get too severe before getting him help. I also cured ds's chronic constipation on my own. The ped wanted him on 3 types of laxatives ($90/month not covered). 1 every day and then the other 2 alternating every day. Instead I figured out that giving him a large dose of vitamin C had him going daily. So now he takes 2000 mg Vitamin C daily. It only costs like $4 a month and is way healthier than all those laxatives.

 

I love when we have what we are doing validated. Oh yeah, and he said he dares CPS to call him and claim any bs about us, because he wants to tell them how awesome we actually are. And that they can drop their issues with me over the "abnormal" stuff we do, as it is working unlike any of the conventional stuff they tried in the beginning of trying to help my kids.

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Maybe it's just me, but your pediatrician seems to SERIOUSLY overstep his boundaries.

 

I'd be pissed if anyone, including my pediatrician, felt the need to negatively comment on or judge my PARENTING choices at every visit. And that IS what he's addressing- your parenting choices.

 

Which are entirely separate from your children's health and medical issues. THAT'S his job. Making sure they are physically healthy.

 

Attachment parenting? Homeschooling? Those are not his business, his concern, his job, etc- and they are certainly not "abnormal" things.

 

He sounds like an idiot, to me. And not someone I'd personally want to continue seeing.

 

ETA: Hm well maybe there are other issues at hand here, after reading the other comments and the line about CPS so maybe I should not have said anything, this was a more general reply to doctors like him making comments like those!

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Maybe it's just me, but your pediatrician seems to SERIOUSLY overstep his boundaries.

 

I'd be pissed if anyone, including my pediatrician, felt the need to negatively comment on or judge my PARENTING choices at every visit. And that IS what he's addressing- your parenting choices.

 

Which are entirely separate from your children's health and medical issues. THAT'S his job. Making sure they are physically healthy.

 

Attachment parenting? Homeschooling? Those are not his business, his concern, his job, etc- and they are certainly not "abnormal" things.

 

He sounds like an idiot, to me. And not someone I'd personally want to continue seeing.

 

ETA: Hm well maybe there are other issues at hand here, after reading the other comments and the line about CPS so maybe I should not have said anything, this was a more general reply to doctors like him making comments like those!

 

 

He has never said my parenting choices are wrong but in our province/city they are abnormal. The "normal" thing to do is wean your baby before 6 months if you even bothered to try nursing at all, get them into daycare, then preschool, kindy etc as early as possible. There is KINDY classes out here that start as young as age 3. Baby wearing, co sleeping etc in considered weird. Heck the fact I do not hire babysitters to go out and focus on myself from the time my baby's are 1 week old is almost weird out here, etc.

 

His concern previously was not that I was doing these things in general but given my kids extra issues he didn't know if I was thinking clearly about the best way to help them. He was verymuch of the mindest that they should be in public school to access services. Big on concerns about the S word when I have kids that have issues in social skills areas etc. Now he is seeing his concerns were unneccessary, that I have found services for the kids on my own, worked my butt off on my own etc and they kids are succeeding. Keep in mind ds for example was a write of by most of the "experts" and now the ped is seeing what I have been seeing all along in my ds.

 

If he was a new ped that didn't know us etc I might agree with you. But he has been our ped for nealy 12 years, he was assigned to us in the nicu for ds and has fought for us for years. WHile he says he felt defeated often because he felt he couldn't help us, he did help a lot. And like I said he has never claimed my choices were wrong, they jsut aren't the norm out here. At the same time he has always listened to my concerns, and is teh reason we were started testing ds so young for issues. Many other dr's we consulted kept pulling the "wait and see" approach but this ped tried to get us assessments, help etc any way he could, which was limited due to the way things are handled out here with referrals and such.

 

That said for years he was buying into the "the kids will never be normal, or learn social skills etc if not in ps, daycare, own beds etc" and he is now seeing the light on how he was wrong in thinking that. That being "abnormal" with "abnormal" kids can actually work.

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How reassuring ! You are to be commended for the long haul you've already made and the diligence with which you've helped your children grow and learn. I really admire you. Hearing those words from the ped must have been wonderful. Happy for you. Keep at it. God knows what little gems you're raising and He put them with the perfect Momma!

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