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I'm so tired - I quit!! (Going on strike)

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While I know that kids dont come out and say "thanks Mom for everything you do", a little appreciation and/or help shouldnt be out of the question - should it??????


I am feeling overly tired this week & yesterday I actually lazed around on the couch most of the day (hubby was home all day so I knew the kids/meals/house 'should' be okay). Today, oh my!! I really had on my blinders .. there are ants on the back table, dirty dishes in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor & no bread for the kids.


What did everyone do? I dont see that anything around the house was taken care of .. my dh did start a new project on his Jeep (his hobby/toy) and I know that he made the kiddos pancakes for dinner but I think that's it. The kids were given one chore a day to accomplish this week (because they have football conditioning every night & with this heat I know they're exhausted) .. yesterdays chore: clean the toy room-Not!


So while I'm cleaning the kitchen & finding the cabinets & countertops sticky this morning (remember battling ants-explained that to all in the household)..

-the kids started complaining about the heat and football (which they know that I cleaned a vacant house for a week to save money to pay for)

-the kids are complaining that nobody is doing what they are supposed to

-the hubby called from work wanting me to make dough & put in the fridge so he could make some cinnamon sticks (mind you he didnt even make a loaf of bread yesterday for the kids & now I have to make a loaf)

-I found the ants all over the table

-the dogs act like they're starving



The kids just got a lesson on unions/strikes/compensation/etc. and now hopefully they will learn how much Mom does too.

Called dh to let him in on the conversation & the "strike" and he asks "Are you on strike for "everything" or just the cleaning/kids?" Well, I informed him it included EVERYTHING Motherly/Wifely.


Soooooo, am I being totally extreme?!?! I read old threads about this (after my announcement to the family) and now I'm worried this may have no impact on them at all. Has anyone found a way to get a "little" help around the house, you know the kind where you dont have to fuss to get it?


BTW, I've been having coversations w/dh alot lately about needing help around the house (that I need some of the attention he is putting into his Jeep-tinkering with it/blogging about it/etc). I know that he works full time in a very stressful career & needs the down time, but I cant take care of everything without some help? I dont have support from the family, and that never used to matter all that much because he's always been my best friend and supporter .. Now, I feel like I need his friendship & support more that ever and I have to ask for it-It's not just given like before. And let me tell you, asking isnt receiving.


This is our 3rd year homeschooling, so is this something that takes a while to get all worked out? Is it just us/me?? What should I be doing???? HELP, Please??!??! I am really feeling like crying right now......

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I'm right there with you, sister. If it takes three years to get worked out, I'm done for. This is our second year and I still feel like I'm repeating the same things and no one is listening. So, I just make them do things. Yes, that takes time, energy and is really annoying to all, but there is no free ride.


Good luck.

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:grouphug: The only thing that has worked for me is to only ask people to do what I am willing to consistently inspect and reinforce.


The following is advice I gave on another post but thought it bore repeating here.


Here are the principles I've used over the years:


1. Decide what things to require and what things are optional. If it is optional, then make that clear.


2. If something is required, then make sure that it is developmentally appropriate. This is a very good place to ask about that. You will get a range of opinions to some degree, but most of the time, people are agreed on what a x year old child can do.


3. If something is required, then make it clear what the consequences are if it is not done. You don't have to threaten or beg, just calmly state what they are.


4. If something required isn't done, then follow through with the consequence - every single time.


5. If something can be done in a fun way (without too much time or hassle) then do it in a fun way!


6. If you expect a child to do what you tell them to do, they often will do it. I've found this even with children that are not my own. I will tell them to pick up a toy, see them hesitate, calmly thank them for doing it, then watch them do it. (This works best if you've been doing number 4 on this list).


7. I don't praise for things that are expected. But I do thank them and if they go above and beyond, I will praise them. I think we all need positive feedback when it is warranted.


8. Make sure that they really know how to do what you want them to do. Sometimes something will be developmentally appropriate, but a child still will not know how to do the task well (I'm thinking something like a chore as well as schoolwork).


9. Make sure the child has protein at meals and offer snacks or a rest when they start to break down.


10. If you can do something with a child, do so. Kids learn a lot from watching how we handle things too - plus it makes it more fun and less lonely.

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I feel your pain.


But girlfriend, I would not expect my family to keep up on housework without some direction from me. And when they didn't do it, I wouldn't take it as a commentary on whether or not they appreciated me. It is what it is: children need direction. Dhs need direction, too. Such is life.:glare:

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I am feeling overly tired this week & yesterday I actually lazed around on the couch most of the day (hubby was home all day so I knew the kids/meals/house 'should' be okay).


This is where you made a fatal mistake...not by taking the day "off" but by thinking that others would pick up the slack without you expressly telling/showing, and enforcing. To be able to take a day off and expect the kids and hubby to automatically do everything you do takes A LOT of training. And I'm afraid going on strike isn't going to accomplish anything.


I view taking care of the house and kiddos as my job. I wouldn't expect my husband to do it anymore than he would expect me to fill in for him at the office if he needed a day off.


As for the kids, if you want them to do more you need to train them. Make a list of chores, set aside times of the day that they need to do them, decide on consequences for undone or poorly done chores, and enforce them. There is no easy way out.


As for wanting your husband to be more supportive...I understand. No advice just :grouphug: :grouphug:. But I don't think going on strike will get you what you want. Sorry.


Susan in TX

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