Jump to content

Menu

I just. can't. do. this. anymore. Ugh.


Recommended Posts

Why? How?!

 

Every single day, the house gets trashed. Every day.

 

Really? Why do I have to clean the entire kitchen, top to bottom, EVERY DAY?

 

Why do the children make a trail of trash/crumbs/glue sticks/toys wherever they go?

 

Why can't they ever, even just once, eat ANYTHING without leaving half of it behind for me to clean up?

 

I just; I don't know. It's so overwhelming some days to do the exact same chores all day long that I JUST did the day before.

 

And we're not even doing school! In a few weeks, Zee will start second grade, Moose will start Kindergarten, I will start college part time, and I just have no idea how I'm going to manage. I am barely managing now.

 

I don't know. I just constantly feel like I'm losing, or behind. Constantly. I don't know how to do this wife/mom/homemaker thing anymore. Seems like it's been getting harder, day by day, ever since I had Moose. I don't like feeling like this. I find it so hard to cope. And dh will be home in three hours. And of course, everyone will want to eat dinner. How am I supposed to prepare dinner when I can't even get to the sink, because somehow it's full of dishes, even though it was empty last night before I went to bed. And we have a dishwasher, for crying out loud! And both bathrooms need to be cleaned, and not a single bed is made. And I don't think the boys have even so much as brushed their teeth yet today. One is still running around in underwear.

 

And for some reason, I no longer know what to feed anyone, ever. I have no energy for thinking up meals. I just wish everyone would eat a bowl of cereal, a piece of fruit, and SHUT IT ALREADY. :glare: I don't want to cook dinner when it's 90 freaking degrees outside, and we don't have central air! And no one likes the same things, and the little boys and my dh all have sensory issues with food, and I'm just sick of it.

 

Dh has been working every day for three weeks straight. And he has several chronic health issues. Which basically means, if he's not working, he's exhausted. And I swear having the little boys 'help' with housework is gonna kill me eventually.

 

I just yelled at them and sent them to their beds, because I just need a break. I hate yelling. I never yell. And it makes them cry, because it scares them, because I never do it. So now not only am I overwhelmed, but I feel like the world's bigest loser of a mom.

 

Ugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

We all feel that way, some times more than others. I hope you feel better.

 

 

Really?

 

Do you all REALLY feel like this sometimes?

 

That's actually mades me feel a tiny bit better. I was starting to think I was some sort of freak, loser, not-good-enough-for-this-gig kinda gal. Really.

 

And now I'm crying. I mean, these are the children I prayed for, longed for. I've wanted to be a wife and a mommy since I can remember. And it turns out, somtimes, I'm not very good at it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

bethany,

 

we must be living parallel lives. I am so sorry, because I understand completey. Same thoughts, same emotions, same kiddos. Then I beat myself up because I really just want to be able to enjoy the time with them. I am not obsessed with a clean house, but it does have to be liveable. I pulled out the old Motivated Moms schedule and am starting over again with it. Yesterday it took me all day and today it only took an hour and a half. Problem is we've already messed it up again. I have found that when I get things organized the kids are more consistent with picking up after themselves. Right there with you!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I totally agree. We all have periods like that, some worse than others.

 

There is a pretty decent book call Managers of Their Chores. If you have ever watched the Duggars show, that is the system they use with their children. While I don't agree with everything in it, there were some helpful suggestions.

 

Just remember homeschooling families have children living in the home 24/ 7. We are lucky not to get swallowed alive somedays by the messes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:iagree:I so feel that way sometimes. Especially about meals. And, I LOVE to cook...but not when feeling that way. Just can't think of anything and tired of everything. The messy house, piles everywhere, school not done, laundry piling up. (sometimes this feeling lasts for months...)

 

....And then, somehow re-charge. A day with friends, and hour with a good book, even a nap while the kids watch tv.

 

Hope you get a re-charge soon!

Dianna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been feeling like this too. The kitchen, thinking of meals, the whole thing and we aren't even schooling right now, so I feel guilty because it should be easy. I have been reorganizing the house this summer and haven't been able to finish it, so I am going to have to wait for Christmas break. Help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug: Oh bless your heart. These are normal feelings that we all have! My goodness, if you could see my kitchen right now...:tongue_smilie:. But ya know, it's OK. My children aren't every going to be this age again. One day they will be grown. Will they remember how spotless their kitchen was? Probably not. So lighten up on your expectations. :) You are being too hard on yourself. Let the little things go. A few crumbs here and there won't be noticed. Make yourself sit down and rest every afternoon. Let them play and then let them pick up their little messes. It will get better when fall comes and it's cooler. Right now are the dog days of summer, so drink plenty of lemonade and don't worry about the messes!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, most of us REALLY DO have seasons, days, or a month like that. It's tiring. like a pp stated, I'm also pulling out all the weapons in my arsenol. It's going to be bootcamp again around here. FlyLady, MOTH, Motivated Moms, Crate Filing, it's all gonna happen. Those are the years that everything goes well and little things don't throw us too far off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really?

 

Do you all REALLY feel like this sometimes?

 

Really! I do it too. I get so tired of the messy house. I get tired of getting it all done today - just so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow! I get really upset with both the kids and dh sometimes because of the messes they leave. And I bet I yell about it more than you do. Because my kids don't cry. They just look at each other like, "Mom's lost it again. We'd better toe the line for a bit." I think they're getting used to it. :crying:

 

One thing that helps is to call them back every.single.time. to clean up after themselves. Then they sort of get it.sometimes.

 

:grouphug: Be gentle with yourself. This is a really hard job we do.:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yup. Feel like that too. You're normal. :grouphug:

 

However, it is NOT acceptable for your kids to be trashing the house every day! I would sit them down and say, "This is NOT okay, kids. This is what we are going to do." And then you teach them and insist (every time) that they clean up their messes. With consequences if they do not. They aren't toddlers. They should not be destroying the house.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug::grouphug:

Yes, I have felt this way. I'm sure most moms do. At this moment we just boiled and bagged almost 300 years of corn, while dd decided to rip apart the other rooms and make a big tent. :glare: She's very quiet but it is now a mess.

Yes, some beds aren't made and yes, there are dishes in the sink, with a dishwasher right next to it, laundry hanging outside....laundry needed to be folded.........

And yes, there have been days that I've cried.

So, you are not alone.

I say, get the kids together and go outside. Get some air. Forget the mess. Yes, it will be there when you get back but that is ok. You need to get a change of scenery and the fresh air will give you some energy.

Maybe you do need to get some sort of schedule and start making the kids stay in one area with the food. (I'm still working on that ;))

I'm going to finish up my corn, forget the mess, and go get a Mocha Frappe at McD's. :D

Hope this helped in someway. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Hang in there. I'll add my voice to try to pop the perfection bubble. I want so much to be the "perfect" wife and mom and....I. am. not. I get jealous of moms who seem to have support and can take a break from time to time. It hurts when other women brag (intentionally or not) and it hurts when women complain about "problems" most of us would love to have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know I feel like this. Sometimes all the time. It's hard repeating the same chores over and over. I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I feel I have nothing to show and my role is meaningless. I hope it helps to know you aren't the only one.

 

Teaching kids to help. It's painful. The chores take longer. But eventually they can do it well and some of your responsibility for chores will be lifted. It just takes a while.

 

Organization. I plan meals a week in advance. In the summer I will make dinner in the morning, so I don't have to interupt our afternoon activities to spend time in the kitchen. For fall, winter, spring I spend weekends every couple of months cooking and freezing entrees because our schedule is too busy some days of the week. I made 18 family size entrees last weekend (6 each of 3 things). I'll probably make something else next weekend because I know I have some time and then my freezer will be full. 2-3 days a week we'll have one of my premade meals and I'll use the slow cooker another day and maybe a day for leftovers. It's not creative, but it lets me focus better on the people in the family rather than the chores.

 

Anyway, try a few things to help you organize better. Whatever you personally can stick with is best. And know you aren't the only one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just yelled at them and sent them to their beds, because I just need a break. I hate yelling. I never yell. And it makes them cry, because it scares them, because I never do it. So now not only am I overwhelmed, but I feel like the world's bigest loser of a mom.

 

Ugh.

 

1st - if you feel like yelling, take a time-out. Seriously. I learned that in counseling and it helped tremendously. At the time, my kids were 6 and 2. I called it a mommy time-out.

 

2nd - honestly, next time the 7 yr old leaves a mess, say, "Oops, you left something on the floor/table. I need you to pick it up and put it away please." You don't ask. You don't whine or yell. Just stay calm. If he refuses, that's a behavior issue and should be addressed differently. If the 4 yr. old leaves a mess, say the same thing, only show how it's done. IOW, pick up the first toy and put it away and say 'Please pick up the [name of item] and put it [name of where it belongs]. Kids those ages may not be able to just follow a direction of 'clean your room', but instead need step by step directions. When my kids were little, I would give them one job at a time and tell them to run back to me when they were finished. They loved that! I might tell my son to pick up the legos and put them in the box. Then he would run back and I'd give him the next job. I'd say something like, "I'm sweeping the kitchen floor and I need you to [insert one job name here]."

 

3rd - choose your battles. Which is more important for your sanity at this point in time? making beds? wiping up crumbs? picking up toys? Choose one and focus on just that one thing with them for at least a week. Honestly, it can work.

 

4th - for crumbs, get a small whisk broom and pan and show them how to use it. For some reason, kids think that is great fun. My oldest daughter was cleaning up her crumbs/food at age 3 because she learned to use the whisk broom/pan at Montessori school.

 

5th - I can totally relate to the choosy eaters. I have one myself. Very choosy. Notice I don't use the word picky. He is the way he is. I made an effort at finding a few foods I know he'll eat and I always have them on hand. He doesn't eat healthy but the doctor isn't concerned. She said to continue trying to get him to eat healthy but not to take away the few foods he does like. If what your choosy eater likes requires cooking, make multiple servings at one time and freeze them. My ds14 likes chicken so I buy the frozen fully-cooked Tyson chicken strips. He cooks them in the microwave (yuck, I don't know how he likes those things!). He adds a side of applesauce and he has a meal in less than 5 minutes.

 

Hope some of these help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why? How?!

 

Every single day, the house gets trashed. Every day.

 

Really? Why do I have to clean the entire kitchen, top to bottom, EVERY DAY?

 

Why do the children make a trail of trash/crumbs/glue sticks/toys wherever they go?

 

Why can't they ever, even just once, eat ANYTHING without leaving half of it behind for me to clean up?

 

I just; I don't know. It's so overwhelming some days to do the exact same chores all day long that I JUST did the day before.

 

And we're not even doing school! In a few weeks, Zee will start second grade, Moose will start Kindergarten, I will start college part time, and I just have no idea how I'm going to manage. I am barely managing now.

 

I don't know. I just constantly feel like I'm losing, or behind. Constantly. I don't know how to do this wife/mom/homemaker thing anymore. Seems like it's been getting harder, day by day, ever since I had Moose. I don't like feeling like this. I find it so hard to cope. And dh will be home in three hours. And of course, everyone will want to eat dinner. How am I supposed to prepare dinner when I can't even get to the sink, because somehow it's full of dishes, even though it was empty last night before I went to bed. And we have a dishwasher, for crying out loud! And both bathrooms need to be cleaned, and not a single bed is made. And I don't think the boys have even so much as brushed their teeth yet today. One is still running around in underwear.

 

And for some reason, I no longer know what to feed anyone, ever. I have no energy for thinking up meals. I just wish everyone would eat a bowl of cereal, a piece of fruit, and SHUT IT ALREADY. :glare: I don't want to cook dinner when it's 90 freaking degrees outside, and we don't have central air! And no one likes the same things, and the little boys and my dh all have sensory issues with food, and I'm just sick of it.

 

Dh has been working every day for three weeks straight. And he has several chronic health issues. Which basically means, if he's not working, he's exhausted. And I swear having the little boys 'help' with housework is gonna kill me eventually.

 

I just yelled at them and sent them to their beds, because I just need a break. I hate yelling. I never yell. And it makes them cry, because it scares them, because I never do it. So now not only am I overwhelmed, but I feel like the world's bigest loser of a mom.

 

Ugh.

 

I could have written all of this, except the chronic health issues of DH.

 

I totally lost it yesterday and told my husband (at 10pm when he arrived home) that I was signing the kids up for school so that I could be the "happy mom". The after school mom. I fear that as adults, after I have given my entire life to my kids, that they will say "Well, my dad was cool, when he was around. My mom was around but she was a total b*tch."

 

Today I have decided that really NOTHING is that important. Seems to have helped a little.

 

I have started to get the kids dressed first thing. (I actually try to make my husband do this, because I am SO tired of arguing over clothes and chasing down kids.) That way if emergency strikes, at least we aren't in our underwear. :lol:

 

I am also trying to implement a schedule. I am tired of fixing food ALL DAY LONG. This would not be possible if they went to school - they would have to eat and then be done, and maybe even hungry! Ah, the horror. I have stopped short of making them have lunch boxes.

 

I have also started freezing food, for all meals, or all month. One giant mess, then no more. If cereal works for you, I would go with it for right now. Three choices, milk and fruit. If that isn't what you want, than you can't be that hungry. ;)

 

I am also trying to return to a rotating schedule of chores. For example some are everyday things - like dishes. But the bathroom is once a week. If I did it, and it is a mess again, well, I'll be back next Tuesday. It is fairly freeing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have days like that. Okay, if I'm being honest, months, years like that. I have 4, 6, and 8 year old BOYS. Crazy, messy, curious, loud, imaginative, physical boys. Oh, and I'm pregnant. Like, I'd really just like to stay in bed for a year or two.

 

Yep. The boys need to do chores. I have them do chores, but they require CONSTANT supervision during those chores. And during playtime. During school time. During quiet time. How do I keep them all in the same place at the same time? And when do I get MY stuff done? And when do I sleep?

 

Sigh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And now I'm crying. I mean, these are the children I prayed for, longed for. I've wanted to be a wife and a mommy since I can remember. And it turns out, somtimes, I'm not very good at it.

 

:grouphug: Loving your children deeply and being a wonderful mother does not mean never feeling like you wish you could run screaming from them!

 

I think you're being awfully hard on yourself, which means, yeah, you're being a typical mom! :)

 

The only advice I can give is that the effort you put into teaching your kids to be responsible for their own messes and to help you out more, while potentially overwhelming at the moment, *will* pay off in the long run.

 

Establish some routines. Morning routine: get dressed, make bed, put breakfast dishes in dishwasher (or have each kid wash their own dishes by hand if you don't have one. Yes, even a 4 year old can do this! Keep a step-stool in the kitchen and assign one of the older kids the job of helping him), brush teeth, feed pets, etc. and whatever else works for your family. Write out the routine for each child and post it in a place where the kids can easily see it. Help them go through their list until they get the hang of it, and then expect them to do it on their own and enforce it. You can have after-school routines, bedtime routines, etc.

 

For my dd, I made her a chart that shows all of her daily chores and her weekly chores and which days those need to be done. She checks them off as she completes them. Yes, I know, I only have one child so this is easy for me to say. You're right! But one of my dear homeschooling friends has four kids and is pregnant with her fifth, and her home is in such good order it awes me! Her kids have checklists of chores and they are expected to do them.

 

She loaned me the book A Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot and it really helped me! It is so reassuring and inspiring.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So there too, hugs.

 

Chores started going better here I recently had all of them join me in one area and we cleaned it together. I just sat down and said," here's what you're going to do. . .

 

Throwing things out that I repeatedly find myself picking up helped too.

 

Summer was supposed to be easier, right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I typed up a big reply about how I REALLY do feel that way a lot, but then something happened with the server and it went away! UGH.

 

My kids are constantly trashing everything, and I'm constantly following them around and harping on them to pick up/clean up/stop doing whatever.

 

I'm trying to relax a little and just enjoy the time I have with them, and know that when they're grown and gone, I can have my clean and tidy house back.

 

But, some days, I do feel like driving to a hotel and checking myself in for a few days all alone!

 

P.S. The food thing is an issue around here. I go through phases where I've just had it, and I'm in one now. DH has had to find his own meals for about 2 weeks here. I can't deal with the uber-pickiness.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I fear that as adults, after I have given my entire life to my kids, that they will say "Well, my dad was cool, when he was around. My mom was around but she was a total b*tch."

 

 

 

I think this same thing at least once a day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love this board because we can all say these things and not feel bad about ourselves, and even get some real help. You ladies are amazing.

 

For the record, we have the hardest job I know of. (Leave my grammar alone :)). This week my 3 oldest are at day camp. I can't believe how easy life is without them around all the time. I clean a room and it stays that way. I've been sitting here for 20 minutes without being interrupted. It's quiet. Moms whose kids go to school have NO IDEA. So chin up, girl. You're AMAZING.

 

One piece of practical advise - I learned when my olders were toddlers to make myself a chore schedule, so Monday I did bathrooms, Tuesday vacuum, Wednesday dust and laundry, etc. That way if on Monday the carpets really needed to be vacuumed but I was exhausted I could remind myself that vacuuming was for Tuesdays. It helped me. Of course, now I have to vacuum every day, but still...

 

:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I could have written all of this, except the chronic health issues of DH.

 

I totally lost it yesterday and told my husband (at 10pm when he arrived home) that I was signing the kids up for school so that I could be the "happy mom". The after school mom. I fear that as adults, after I have given my entire life to my kids, that they will say "Well, my dad was cool, when he was around. My mom was around but she was a total b*tch."

Yup, this is me, too!!

 

I am also trying to return to a rotating schedule of chores. For example some are everyday things - like dishes. But the bathroom is once a week. If I did it, and it is a mess again, well, I'll be back next Tuesday. It is fairly freeing.

My sister does this and she works full-time! (Although she doesn't homeschool). It works so well for her that I'm giving it a try...so far I don't think my house is really any cleaner but it is very freeing to say, "Oh, the bathroom you say, well bathrooms are a Tuesday job....":D

 

And yes, I really, really feel that way!:grouphug: You are SOOO not alone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry your feeling this way! I've been where you are...not exactly, but with the constant messes\lack of motivation to do the mom stuff. I'm not going to tell you to make your dc help you because I know sometimes that is harder than just doing it yourself.

 

When I start feeling overwhelmed I usually have to take a few days and really look critically at my life and determine why I'm feeling that way. A lot of times it has meant doing a huge purging; getting rid of everything in the house that hasn't a purpose or a place. Minimize everything. Several times we stopped all outside activities. No gym, dance, sports... whatever, everything stopped for 6 months until I felt in control of my home to a point that I could add things back in. I also had to be realistic about how I was spending my time at home. Too many times I would go into the office to get some work done and before I knew it 2 hours had passed and I emerge to find the house a wreck. Yeah, they shouldn't have wrecked the house but I am the adult and I should have been more attentive to what was going on.

 

Maybe you just need to regroup, re-structure and re-prioritize. I don't know if you are looking for any ideas but I'll throw a few out there that came to mind.

 

* If you don't want the little guys to help you with the house then make it mandatory that they have an hour or two that they are restricted to their rooms so that you can clean alone without distractions.

* When you are not directly interacting with them set the timer for every 30 minutes and check on what they are doing and if they are at a point where they need to clean up before they move on to something else.

* Give them each their own set of plate, cup and utensils. When they are done with each meal either they or you can wash them so they are ready for the next meal. Don't allow them to use any other dishes\utensils\cups other than their own set. This will cut down on 20 cups and 15 plates getting piled up in the sink. (If you ever saw the movie Signs where the little girl left half full glasses of water ALL over the house you would have been seeing what my house looked like before I cracked down on the use of dishes)

* If you have a sense of humor you could try to gain cooperation through acting. ie. In a heavy southern belle accent "Oh my heavens, I see crumbs all over the floor...surely some kind, brave gentleman will come and save me from the certain doom of having to clean this up all by my little 'ol self!" I've done something similar with my two oldest and they just look at me like I'm insane but at least they get the message and clean it up without me actually having to tell them to.:D

 

I hope you can find something that will make you feel better...that's no way to live.:crying: I'll be sending good thoughts your way. Oh, and your not a loser mom...your a normal one.:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Joining the hope roll-call here to let you know that, Yup, we all feel that way sometimes. You are not a bad mom, wife, homemaker, housekeeper, cook, etc. You are obviously dedicated, loving, restrained (my kids would never get frightened if I yelled, since they hear it so often!:D), and hardworking. Only people who don't care at all mind when they don't perform the way they want to--the fact that it even bothers you shows how dedicated you are. Give yourself a break. I heartily second the idea of getting out--especially if you can swing a frozen coffee drink/cool drink of your choice. And don't worry if you don't come back feeling like a "new woman"--sometimes you just have to get through til you feel better.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I do feel like that, a lot. And I get so sick of preparing meals! We don't do quickie foods like cereal so even breakfast requires preparing food and cleaning up. Makes me want to scream many days. I think back to how my mom just did dinners. Wow! To just do dinners. Can you imagine?

 

Here are a couple things I've done here to get us all behind cleaning up behind ourselves as we go.

 

You must put away and clean up before you get something else out. In order to make this a habit I had to stay on top of it until the kids had it down. You might want to set an alarm for every hour, or even half hour, and check up on the kids. For me, I mostly just had to remind my kids, but there were times I felt one was taking advantage and so the rule got harder - move on to something else without cleaning up first, then (when I noticed it) they had to stop and clean-up the new thing right then regardless of protests, and then clean-up the old thing, and then I found something for them to do such as pick up dog waste.

 

And if the above isn't helpful maybe have mandatory pick-up before lunch, and dinner. I did that when I only had two young ones. Every day before lunch and dinner they had to pick up and put away everything. (I did make exceptions but whatever was not the current project had to be put away.)

 

2. Dishes. First I tried setting an alarm every couple hours and checking the sink. I would find out whose dishes were there and make the child come wash them. Problem was, having to stop what they were doing to wash a cup or plate and fork wasn't very motivating towards change. So I assigned days. (Mind, this was older kids.) On a child's assigned day he/she washed every dish in the sink before dinner. The child who had the assignment was responsible for insuring everyone did their dishes as they occurred, otherwise that child had to wash all those dishes. Being in charge and responsible for it really helped to make cleaning up after a drink or snack a habit.

 

But having said all that, we still wrestle with this! The oldest leaves her books out when she switches to writing, and leaves the writing notebooks out when she switches to art. The middle likes to leave everything downstairs. And the youngest - maddening I tell you. I blame it on having a small house and being outnumbered by children.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug:

I only have two little ones and I have days (weeks? months?) like this constantly.

I just found an apple core in the kids bedroom and don't know how long its been there. I really thought I was on top of getting the banana peels and apple cores back as soon as they finished. Evidently not so much.

We lost my son's sneakers over a week ago and never did find them. We had to buy him new ones since soccer starts soon. My house is not that big, how did we lose a pair of shoes?

We never eat at our dining room table because it can never stay cleaned off for more than an hour.

I cleaned up Saturday and there's already toys in every room in the house even though I refuse to let them get out anymore toys until these are cleaned up. (and its not even anything with lots of pieces that they have out.)

They are watching too much tv since with the extreme heat and humidity I can't breathe when we go outside and I'm tired of washing crayon, marker, chalk and glue off the walls, and scraping playdoh out of the carpets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even with kids not leaving a mess all the time, and even when they help, it's still rather messy. People living in a space (and not a large one at that) just creates crumbs and dust. I think breathing creates mess.

 

Sometimes it bums me out, yes, but i also know I've been sold a bill of Pottery Barn/House Beautiful Goods that often makes it impossible to see what normal life really looks like.

 

There are no crumbs in magazines or catalogues. There is never dirty laundry in wahsing machine ads, either.

 

I've also decided that everything simply looks and feels worse in humidity. ;) Is it hot where you live?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

* Give them each their own set of plate, cup and utensils. When they are done with each meal either they or you can wash them so they are ready for the next meal. Don't allow them to use any other dishes\utensils\cups other than their own set.

 

I've done this! My kids had a period where they thought every sip of water required a new cup or glass. A new cup or glass they would just set in the sink. So I gave each one a plastic cup to draw on with permanent markers, and that was the one and only cup they were allowed to use. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just to show you your not alone.

 

I just emerged from my office where I was typing my previous post (I was in there for about 20 minutes) and I found my kitchen void of all the children but food was left out from lunch and they hadn't washed their dishes. I just yelled over the intercom that their mother was about to self-destruct unless the kitchen was cleaned in the next 5 minutes. This is only 5 hours after I stressed to them how important it is for them to clean up after themselves today of all days because of my bad mood. :confused:

 

They are oblivious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really?

 

Do you all REALLY feel like this sometimes?

 

That's actually mades me feel a tiny bit better. I was starting to think I was some sort of freak, loser, not-good-enough-for-this-gig kinda gal. Really.

 

And now I'm crying. I mean, these are the children I prayed for, longed for. I've wanted to be a wife and a mommy since I can remember. And it turns out, somtimes, I'm not very good at it.

 

I just have the one little guy and I already have days like this!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, you have two who are certainly old enough to help you. If each one of them supervises one of the youngers, then all can help, the youngers can be trained, and you don't have to lose your sanity.

 

There is no reason whatsoever that whoever gets something out can't put it back; that whoever spills something can't clean it up. Even if you have to remind them to do it, I think it's better that you do that a thousand times than doing it yourself (which just teaches them that you're a doormat and they don't have to care about such things).

 

You should only be cleaning the entire kitchen every third day, behind your two old-enough assistants. Kitchen duty should be shared.

 

Even littles can learn to pick up their messes and put them away or throw away leftovers/crumbs, etc. They just need regular reminders and you have two assistants who can help you with that.

 

Two bathrooms? One for each assistant. It's a 15 minute job or less that certainly won't kill them and will build character, not to mention preparing them for life on their own (just like kitchen duty).

 

Even littles can learn to make their beds, especially if all they have to do it turn up a sheet and comforter and then fluff a pillow. That should be everyone's first job when they get up in the morning, right before brushing their own teeth.

 

Does your husband enjoy cold summer meals? There are lots of those on the internet these days. Grilling some chicken or other meat in the morning and then adding it to your salad in the evening might help with the heat problems that build later in the day. I often cook my meats in some of the same dressing or using some of the same seasonings I'm using on the salad that night to give it the same flavors.

 

Tuna salad? Egg salad? There are lots of ways to add protein to vegis and fruits for salads without heating up the kitchen at dinner time.

 

I hope that you find a routine that works out well for you all....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*raises hand*

You are not alone Bethany! I've had days like you've described a LOT lately. Part of it (I think) is because my oldest child is 18 and has "learned the ropes" a while ago. She's leaving in less than two weeks for school, and I feel a little overwhelmed with the idea of having to take care of everything myself while I "train" the two littles. There is such a vast age difference between my oldest and my two youngest, that it's just like starting all over again. So I definitely feel your pain! :grouphug:

 

I've done this! My kids had a period where they thought every sip of water required a new cup or glass. A new cup or glass they would just set in the sink. So I gave each one a plastic cup to draw on with permanent markers, and that was the one and only cup they were allowed to use. :D

 

Oh my gosh! I thought it was only MY kids who did this! In one day my two boys went through 30 cups BEFORE dinner. 30 cups! Fortunately, they follow my one "big" rule (all food must be kept in the kitchen or dining room), and all of the cups were located on the kitchen counter. But still...30 cups!

 

I did what you suggested. I put their name on the cup, and that's what they use for the day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my,

Just this morning I informed my 2 oldest (10 and 12) that I needed to have a peaceful home and if that meant sending them to their rooms all day, that's what would happen:glare:

so, yes, we all feel this way sometimes.

And don't even get me started on the meals...:tongue_smilie:

 

Jen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really?

 

Do you all REALLY feel like this sometimes?

 

That's actually mades me feel a tiny bit better. I was starting to think I was some sort of freak, loser, not-good-enough-for-this-gig kinda gal. Really.

 

And now I'm crying. I mean, these are the children I prayed for, longed for. I've wanted to be a wife and a mommy since I can remember. And it turns out, somtimes, I'm not very good at it.

 

Yes. Absolutely. It can get very overwhelming. They say that it's not until a child is 8yo that they can "really" contribute more than they "dis-contribute" :tongue_smilie:. Yes, my 4yo can fold napkins and put them in the basket, collect the chicken eggs, and wipe off the dining chairs; but compare that to the whirlwind of dress-up/stuffed animals/yarn/books/paper/misc. toy mess that she can go through in 20 minutes, and we're talking serious issues all the time.

 

And here's the hardest part - I just don't have time to stand there and make sure they get into the habit of picking up and putting everything away as soon as they're done. I have a toddler to watch, older ones to teach, errands to run, meals to prepare, laundry, etc., etc.

 

So, do what you can do. Put up a chart and let your family know how much everyone needs the help of everyone else every day. My 7yo was complaining yesterday that she didn't want to tidy up the living room (which she is really good at doing.) I told her that I completely understand. In fact I was supposed to have swept the kitchen floor but was instead looking for other things to do so I could avoid it. But our family needs us both to be faithful in those small things - and when we both worked together it was much easier to bear. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...