Haiku Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Our dd, who is 16 and will be a sophomore in a school specifically for kids who need intensive intervention to get to college, will be missing the first week of school to attend a summer camp for children with the chronic illness she has. She did not attend last year because it was the first week of the first year of her new school, but this year dh and decided that she needed to go. Going to this camp is like a booster for her every year, and her mental health improves for quite a long time afterwards. We sent a letter to the principal, informing her of our decision. We just got an email back from the (new, we didn't know there was a new) principal, who informed us that our dd "should" be in school but that he "respects" our decision. He then informed us that he will be enforcing the school's absence policy, which is that for every day more than two that a child misses in a 45-day period, the child must make up the hours in triplicate. He informed us that dd would be responsible for making up 63 hours in the first 45 days of school! This is impossible because dd will be playing for a high school sports team and will have practice every day after school. Even if we sent her an hour early every day, which we would be willing to do, she would not be able to make it all up. In addition, dd cannot progress to the next level in her school if she has outstanding hours to make up. We feel that this principal is being legalistic. The absence policy is in place to discourage kids from casually skipping school. Our dd does not casually skip school. She missed one day last year. The principal is trying to punish her for taking advantage of an extraordinary opportunity. Does anyone have suggestions on how to address this with the new principal? I really, really hate schools. :( Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I'd ask the principal about finding a way for her to do something related to the camp in order to make up the hours. For instance writing a paper about the camp, researching the benefits of such a camp, reasearching and presenting on the specific illness, something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 When does school start? Can your dd get her work early and do it at home? (Or in school if the teachers are there getting ready?) Also, would the camp write a letter to the school explaining how important this is for the kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Is there any way that you could get a note from your dd's doctor, explaining that the camp is necessary for yor dd's health (which could mean physical and/or mental health)? Seems to me that might make the absense excusable. We had a situation with my dss last year at school. He was so uncomfortable with the swimming section of his gym class that he was willing to sit out each day, refuse to participate, and likely flunk the marking period of gym. Well, the school would not accept that dh wanted to opt him out of that section. They said that, without a doctor's not excusing dss, he would receive a 0 for each day he refused to participate. They also would not transfer him to another class. It was quite frustrating. Thankfully, dss's doctor was able to give a legitimate reason why dss should not participate, so we were able to get him excused. It's so frustrating. We feel strongly that as parents, we should have the final say in what our children will participate in. In fact, if we had not been able to get a doctor's note for dss, we would have given him permission to sit out during swim days, and whatever impact that had on his grade, so be it. See what the school's policy is on medically excused absenses; it should be different than any other sort of absense. Surely if a child were to be hospitalized, and miss more than 2 days, the school would not insist that they make it up, would they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Tara - I don't know where you are but I recently heard from a mom in BC who has a child who has special needs & had the full assessment etc etc etc & has a written Individual Education Plan which calls for certain accomodations - including for instance, the use of a calculator in a high school level provincial exam which usually does not allow them. The school balked & said, no, we can't do it blah blah blah and the mom was getting the run around from teachers, counsellor & principal. She called the Ministry & talked her way through a bunch of people & presto, situation was resolved. Next time there was an issue, she just said "Oh? You can't help with this issue? That's OK. I'll just talk to the Ministry about it." & magic, things changed. SO - do an end run around them. Your child has special needs & a chronic illness. She needs to do this. You might consider getting a dr or a psychologist to 'prescribe' attendance at the camp if you think it would help your case but I'd just go waaaay over this principal's head. SOMEONE pays the principal's salary. Those people are the ones you need to bug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) I think I would go talk to him in person, with your daughter, approaching him as someone who certainly has your dd's best interests at heart (because people often react to us in the same light they're approached). It is easier to be flexible and compassionate in person, and when working with my dd's special ed teams, I found that they almost always responded very well to being approached as though we're all on the same side, wanting what's best for my daughter. I understand a new principal wanting to make sure he doesn't start his new position being seen as a pushover. (Remember he doesn't know you or your dd, so it's not personal, and he has no way of knowing whether you're trying to bypass the rules just so your dd can do something fun.) He may be protecting his reputation as an educator who does expect students to abide by the rules, and I think that's reasonable in the big picture sense. And if the camp provides substantial mental health benefits for your dd, which will start her school year on a good note and in turn benefit her overall academic success, perhaps he would be willing to consider some of the camp activities educational and allow some of the camp hours to be counted toward the missed time that needs to be made up. I'd go in with a number of hours that you feel would be doable for her to make up, and a list of camp activities/time spent in ways that can directly benefit your dd's later academic performance, and see if he'd be willing to consider including camp activities as make-up time. I'd make sure it was all written down clearly, has a cover page with a smiling picture of your dd on the front, and that you approach the manner in a friendly professional way. ETA: I'd also bring a letter from the doctor, as others have suggested. If he's not willing to make an exception, I'm afraid you're probably going to have to abide by the rules in place. :grouphug: Cat Edited August 10, 2010 by myfunnybunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotherbrother Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 That sounds like an incredibly unreasonable policy. It clearly had to have been put in to place for children who were skipping school on a repeated regular basis as a deterrent. I would definitely pursue this further and meet with the principal in person if possible. Typically I'm fairly vocal in situations like this and would tell him that it's not a reasonable expectation and my daughter should not be held to the same standard of someone who is skipping school. I would then request that he look at her attendance records from last year as proof. This does sound like it might be a wonderful opportunity but at the same time it could be REALLY difficult to catch up after missing the first week of school. I'm sure the camp is scheduled during those dates for a reason, maybe they have some experience dealing with schools in this situation. I have to imagine it must occur on a fairly regular basis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 10, 2010 Author Share Posted August 10, 2010 Dh wrote back to the principal and explained that due to dd's sports commitment, which is important for her mental and physical well-being, she would not be able to make up 63 hours in 45 days. He also reminded the principal that dd's doctor is providing a medical excusal letter. He then suggested that there must be a mutually agreeable way to handle the situation and invited the principal to call him to discuss things. I'm glad dh is handling this, because he's much more even-tempered than I am. :D Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Can you get a letter from her doctor "excusing" her for the days of camp as a *medical* necessity? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 10, 2010 Author Share Posted August 10, 2010 Yes, her doctor is providing one. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Yes, her doctor is providing one. Tara Is there a different policy in place for medical absences? Is there a handbook you can refer to ("as per policy 107.12, DD's absence should be considered fully excused as a medical necessity"... or some such)? I suppose the next step is to appeal to the superintendent (assuming yours, unlike ours, is not a criminal -- although in that case, perhaps s/he could just be paid off...)... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Okay, that's good. I hope your dh's strong, unemotional approach will win over the stupidity the principal is displaying... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamanthaBea Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 This is one of the reasons that I started to homeschool. My ds had major anxiety issues with school (among other problems). He would start getting upset the night before and wouldn't be able to get to sleep. Then in the morning, the crying and meltdowns just escalated. It's hard to keep it together when you haven't had any sleep! Trying to get this poor, crying child out of the car at the school was torture. Of course, he was usually late. All the school cared about was their "rules." Instead of help, I got a nasty letter from the truancy social worker! I don't think that was the original intent of those rules. I would get a letter from your dc's doctor and/or therapist. I would talk to the principal in person and if he still didn't agree to at least a reasonable compromise, I would go above his head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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