I haven't even started HSing yet...

[vivaciousbee]

and already got the "you should really consider putting your kids in school'.. This person being concerned about "social" development I suppose.

I won't even be starting K for another year or so!!

 

Any experience HS'ers advice on how to answer these types of comments.

I held my tongue.. especially since that person is my boss.

[Pippen]

IMO, the right answer is to not try and defend every point but to just state you're making the right choice for your own family and that you don't expect it to be right for everyone.

 

No matter what you do with your kids, someone will always question. When my kids went to public school I had a friend who really made me feel bad because it wasn't private school. When I opted to homeschool one of mine this past year, there were family members who I know didn't approve (but thankfully kept quiet). She's going back to public school this next year and now *I'm* the one doing the questioning, but that's another story. :confused:

[Photo Ninja]

IME, most people make comments like this because they don't understand why anyone would do anything different than what everyone else has done. You know, it's the general thought pattern of it's been done this way, most people do it this way, so obviously this must be the best way. Most people use ps, and they probably went to ps, so why do anything different? They are ignorant about hsing, and many people are just parroting what others have said. When I have asked them to explain what socialization my dc are missing, or what they mean by 'socialization', they usually stumble around because they really haven't thought about it. They usually have no answer for me.

 

Be confident in your decision and don't let people throw you off guard with comments like this. Some ideas:

 

This is the best thing for my dc.

This decision is the best for our family.

After much research, we know this is the best educational method for our dc.

Isn't it wonderful that each family can select the best type education for their children?

We enjoy hsing, so there is no reason to change now.

 

Responding with a question can sometimes be useful, too.

 

Why do you ask?

Why do you think that?

Why are you so concerned?

What specifically are you concerned about?

Will the ps provide one on one instruction at each student's individual level and need?

 

If people are genuinely interested, you can engage them further and inform them. Otherwise, a one line answer is usually good enough, especially if the commenter is a stranger.

[Embassy]

and already got the "you should really consider putting your kids in school'.. This person being concerned about "social" development I suppose.

I won't even be starting K for another year or so!!

 

Any experience HS'ers advice on how to answer these types of comments.

I held my tongue.. especially since that person is my boss.

 

When it is your boss maybe holding your tongue is the best way to go. My responses vary depending on who I am talking to. If the situation warrants it I will gladly engage in a discussion and provide information. I want more people to know that research shows homeschooled children score higher on standardized tests and have better socialization skills.

[Rosie_0801]

I held my tongue.. especially since that person is my boss.

 

"You know, I'd rather not talk about that on company time, :) I need to finish doing this job you've just assigned me. ;)

 

Rosie

[....]

"You know, I'd rather not talk about that on company time, :) I need to finish doing this job you've just assigned me. ;)

 

Rosie

 

EXACTLY. I'm sick of people's comments about homeschooling. And, ya' know what? Their information is usually very, very wrong. I've heard it from everyone - neighbors, relatives, etc. I really don't have any advice other than avoid that conversational topic. I just ignore people when they start talking about it.

 

Oh, and another thing...I dare someone to come and test my kids. Bring it on! I think my 8 year-old officially knows more than I do. :D

 

And socialization is a croc. Our doorbell rings so much that I had to put a note outside that said "Sorry, we're busy with school". My kids are taking classes at an enrichment center, going to homeschool group, co-oping with another homeschool family, taking gymnastics, and going to Brownies, Daisies and Cub Scouts. I have NO idea how I'm going to swing this schedule - BTW. No, homeschooled kids aren't locked in closets all day and freak out when they see sunlight. In fact, we've been going to Cub Scouts all year and our cubmaster just found out this week that my son homeschools. Homeschooled kids aren't like weird cyborgs or something. They're just normal kids! :rant:

 

Sorry to sound so crabby. :chillpill:

[Forget-Me-Not]

Yep, we haven't officially started yet, but I'm getting it too. I work with the 12-18 yo girls at my church, and one of the other leaders loooves to make comments about HSers and socialization. The funny thing is that we have two HS girls in our group and they are probably the two most outgoing, social girls we have.

 

I also have a friend who was a public schoolteacher (now a SAHM) that got really upset and defensive when she heard we were going to HS. Literally, shaking and red in the face and couldn't quite look me in the eye. I was SO surprised when she started in about how public school is 80% socialization and 20% education that I didn't even know how to respond. Fortunately, another friend who is a seasoned HSer was standing there with me and started rattling off the (extensive) list of things her kids are involved in where they are social--pretty much shut the conversation down.

 

My parents have said a couple of things too, but it's coming from a place of genuine concern, so I've tried to briefly reassure and move on to other topics. Overall they're fairly supportive and I figure the best thing to allay their fears is to just let some time pass and they'll see my kids are fine.

[Remudamom]

Don't you just wish some people would go poop themselves?

 

I agree with Pippen, but I'm not nice enough to take that approach.

[Happy2BaMom]

Three choices in how to respond:

 

1) Gentle deferment. A few great examples have already been posted.

 

2) Challenging questions...."oh, wow, when I researched this topic, I only came across studies that showed neutral to positive effects/results of hsing - and I read more than 40 of them. What have you read that indicated something different?" BTW - I have read more than 40 of them - mostly thesis papers, and there is nothing negative that has been found....if there had been, you would be sure the NEA or some other such group would be bandying it about.

 

3) Confrontational. "Do you pry into the educational choices of private-school parents with this same level of interest? Are you aware that students participating in oral sex is already a concern by middle school at schools across the country? Do you ask public school parents how they truly KNOW that their child is not participating in this?"

 

Given that it is your boss, the first two choices are probably the best.

 

BTW, I have reached the point of only providing information about our educational choices on a 'NTK' (need to know) basis. I don't talk about it or refer to it. I avoid all questions/articles/etc. about it, and change the subject as quickly as possible if it should come up. 99 times out of 100, conversations with non-hsers about hsing is a no-win situation. No one who asks is really curious 'just' to learn more - they could do that on the internet.

[Guest janainaz]

I hate talking about hs'ing to anyone who doesn't actually do it. It truly is my least favorite topic.

 

Find a response that works for you and just use it when the question pops up.

[DawnM]

I would no longer bring it up or discuss with him. If he brings it up I might even say, "I appreciate your concern."

 

My friend (from a Christian perspective) says to say, "I appreciate your concern and I thank you for your continued prayer for guidance as we continue to seek God's best for our children." :D

 

Dawn

[vivaciousbee]

Thank you all for the good advice! It makes me feel a bit better. I know this won't be the last time I hear comments. My father-in-law and aunt-in-law's have already made it known their disdain for homeschooling.

 

I love the seasoned advice and appreciate it. I will have to take note of it all!

 

Part of it of my irritation is probably my own 'lack' of confidence in HSing.. Can I really do it? My dd is so stubborn.. Do I have what it takes to do it? What if they don't want to do any of it and fight me at every turn?

Am I going to screw it all up?!

 

Thanks All!