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Just came from a local children's museum...doesn't anyone teach dc manners anymore!


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Okay, my kids are far, far from perfectly behaved but the one thing I insist on is that when they are out in public I expect their behavior to be nearly perfect. Their are things that I am willing to put up with in my own home but that I do not want others to have to put up with. KWIM?

 

So, we just came from the local kids museum and I am actually baffled at the behavior of the majority of the children but I am angry at the parents of these children. Especially when they are standing right there watching their child be rude! Simple things like waiting your turn, saying excuse me, sharing, being extra careful around little ones, and using "out in public" voices are apparently not being taught to a large number of young children. One child (4 or 5) was running around grabbing things from other children and throwing them. The mother was running along behind him laughing and saying "Oh, he's such a bully!" WHAT! Many of the other moms were huddled in a corner chatting and not even paying attention to their children at all. One child was banging on a plexi-glass display case with a toy coal shovel (from the train set-up). I wanted so badly to tell him to stop but I resisted. We don't go out to these types of places often so I'm wondering, is this widespread and common or did we just go on the day they were having "take your brat to the museum" day? (Don't jump on me for saying they are brats...I know they probably aren't really brats but they certainly weren't doing anything to prove otherwise.)

 

We cut our visit short because I simply couldn't handle it any longer and my ds4 was just simply standing there after a while watching what I can only describe as mass pandemonium and I couldn't even set my 19 month down for fear of her getting trampled. It really is sad because its a great museum but I think people are starting to use it as a babysitting venue and there is simply not enough volunteers walking around to keep people in check. We have a membership but we won't be going back anytime soon.

 

Well, I'm done with my rant. Say a prayer for me though because we have plans to go the big outdoor pool at the local sports center tomorrow. I think I may need to take a tranquilizer first. :glare:

Edited by 5LittleMonkeys
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I've become the mean mom in public.

 

Last time Loverboy and I took dd to the zoo, two batches of older kids (age 8+ and 12+) were manipulating the fish food machines to get free food out of the machines for the Koi pond. (Think like a gumball machine, where you get a handful of feed for 25c).

 

The second round, we called the boys out. "Did you pay for that???" I figure its just a quarter or 50c. Most kids get allowance 10X that or have the option to earn money. Even if they don't, how could the kids not know this is STEALING? How could their parents not correct their STEALING behavior???

 

No parents dared to cross me. *looking for a grumpy smiley*

 

Who else wants to join me in being the mean mom?

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and you may want to re-think that pool thing tomorrow

 

I would, but I broke my cardinal rule of not telling the dc that we were going to do it until right before we do it. I told them a week ago, so now I would have 4 very disappointed dc if I changed the plans. We rarely do this type of thing so it is a big treat for them. But I will tell you that after tomorrow we are done with "public children's activities" for a while.

 

I wonder if I could smuggle that adult cold beverage into the sports center in a water bottle. :D

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You are so right about the manner thing!! We take most of our 'field trips' in the middle of the week, in the middle of the school year to avoid this!

 

We mostly keep at home or to the mountains camping during the summer to avoid the huge summer-time hustle-bustle & kids running wild!

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Who else wants to join me in being the mean mom?

 

I'd love to but I had a Mexican woman scream at me once because she thought I'd yelled at her child (it was another person standing beside me). I don't speak Spanish so I don't know what she was saying but I don't think she was thanking me.:tongue_smilie:

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Who else wants to join me in being the mean mom?

 

 

I will... oh, wait... I am! I'm the mom who makes all the kids wait their turn, whether or not they are mine. I'm the mom who makes sure kids aren't running over other kids, whether or not they are mine.

 

[i also tend to be the one who makes snarky comments to my husband about other parents allowing their kids to behave like monsters within earshot of those other parents. That's just my little corner of passive-aggressive bliss.]

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I would, but I broke my cardinal rule of not telling the dc that we were going to do it until right before we do it. I told them a week ago, so now I would have 4 very disappointed dc if I changed the plans. We rarely do this type of thing so it is a big treat for them. But I will tell you that after tomorrow we are done with "public children's activities" for a while.

 

I wonder if I could smuggle that adult cold beverage into the sports center in a water bottle. :D

 

My advice is to arrive early and leave early.

 

And, the only problem with that 'beverage thing in the sports bottle' is that usually we are the ones who are driving, kwim.:glare: But, I would sure as heck have it waiting for me when I arrived home.:D

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I'd love to but I had a Mexican woman scream at me once because she thought I'd yelled at her child (it was another person standing beside me). I don't speak Spanish so I don't know what she was saying but I don't think she was thanking me.:tongue_smilie:

 

My dh would have handled that situation - he speaks Spanish fluently.:D

 

And, you're right.......she probably wasn't thanking you.:lol:

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I will... oh, wait... I am! I'm the mom who makes all the kids wait their turn, whether or not they are mine. I'm the mom who makes sure kids aren't running over other kids, whether or not they are mine.

 

[i also tend to be the one who makes snarky comments to my husband about other parents allowing their kids to behave like monsters within earshot of those other parents. That's just my little corner of passive-aggressive bliss.]

 

I resemble THAT! :lol:

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Classic. Here's my story:

 

Yesterday, took my 4 youngest dc to the pool at the local Y. Dd5 enjoys the baby pool, so I was sitting in there with her. She got to playing with a little boy (4 ish?), who loaned her a toy shark (he had two).

 

So I'm sitting there, and the little chap comes up to play with me. Fine. I'm the "fun" mom in the crowd - love playing with kids. He says, "The shark is going to bite you!" and proceeds to RAM INTO MY LEG - HARD - with a hard plastic shark. :glare: Ouch!

 

I try to be cute and fun and say, "No, the shark doesn't like people, he wants to eat these little fish on the side of the pool!" (and direct said child to the fish pictures on the pool wall) "NO! He likes PEOPLE!" (Ram - ram- ram - OUCH!)

 

Mother feebly corrects him, and then says, "Sorry, he just doesn't know when SOME ADULTS don't want to play. Most do, but some don't."

 

Bleh. Give me a break lady.

 

We'll be bringing our OWN sharks on Friday. And maybe an adult beverage.

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I'll join you in the "my kids aren't perfect" club, and, I'll admit there have even been times when one or more of them acted like the kids you saw at the museum. Everyone has a bad day, right?

 

BUT, when they started to act like that, especially in public, you can be sure that I was right there saying, "If you bang on that plexi-glass one more time you will never see the inside of a museum again!"

 

 

(And don't get me started on the cell phones! I always want to say, "Get off the darn phone and pay attention to your children!)

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So when have you all found to be the best day/time to visit such places? I've tended to avoid weekends, but weekdays are often worse because of enormous field trip groups (especially near the end of the school year). When are museums less likely to be overrun?

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Guest Dulcimeramy

The time to visit our children's museum is 2:45 to closing (5) on a weekday during the public school year.

 

The field trip buses are leaving just as we are arriving. :D

 

We can't see the whole museum in two hours, but we certainly enjoy those two hours of quiet exploration! We live close enough to visit often.

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Apparently.

Which is why I no longer attend anything prefaced by the word "childrens" unless I have a cold adult beverage waiting at home.

 

:iagree:

 

OP, I'm so glad to hear you say this. I posted on my Facebook about a day at a local park that was nearly identical - all the moms were having a picnic together hundreds of feet away from the playground. They were not watching all their crazy bully kids who don't know ANY sort of playground ettiquette AT ALL! Man, I was fired up!!! I haven't even tried our Children's Museum because I'm so afraid it will be that way. And the zoo can be a nightmare if you show up on the wrong day.

 

At least between homeschooling and a pastor's hours (he takes Monday off), we tend to hit those places on quieter days.

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I find that I get to be the mean mom all the time. My youngest loves being right in the middle of things. When there are kids who are much older (7 years and up) being very aggressive and rowdy I will say something to them. Usually all it takes is a "Hey guys, watch out for the little ones" and at the least, they stay away from my dd. This bugs me the most when we are hanging out in a toddler or little kids area that they don't belong in.

 

I try to avoid any children's activities on weekends or in the Summer. The only exception is outside activities. Usually outside stuff isn't quite as bad. I'm must be getting worse as I get older. When my oldest was young I worked full time and we used to do things on the weekend all the time. I don't remember being as annoyed by things as I am now.

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I don't remember being as annoyed by things as I am now.

 

I know you were referencing your age being the reason for this but I am wondering if it is a side affect of hs'ing? When I started hs'ing I began really making my dc tow the line in regards to manners and their behavior. Before they were gone most of the day and when they got home I was so happy to have some time with them that I overlooked a lot of behavior. I know a friend who's dc are in public school and she works. She says she doesn't teach manners or discipline because she simply doesn't have the energy for it. ( I don't get that, but atleast she's honest) Now that my dc are really well-behaved (especially in contrast to some other dc) I seem to be super aware of bad behavior in other children and far less tolerant of it.

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I know you were referencing your age being the reason for this but I am wondering if it is a side affect of hs'ing? When I started hs'ing I began really making my dc tow the line in regards to manners and their behavior. Before they were gone most of the day and when they got home I was so happy to have some time with them that I overlooked a lot of behavior. I know a friend who's dc are in public school and she works. She says she doesn't teach manners or discipline because she simply doesn't have the energy for it. ( I don't get that, but atleast she's honest) Now that my dc are really well-behaved (especially in contrast to some other dc) I seem to be super aware of bad behavior in other children and far less tolerant of it.

 

I would believe this except that my younger two are way harder to control than my oldest ever was. She was always the well-behaved, waits her turn, follow the rules (if they make sense) type. Whereas my younger two are the ones I need to keep right on top of to make sure they are not the obnoxious little brats that everyone glares at. Which probably explains why I'm noticing it so much - I'm right there on top of the situation to make sure my kids are behaving that I notice all the other kids who aren't. Whereas, with my oldest I could be much more relaxed.

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You know I do avoid these places for these reasons, but it isn't just public school kids. I have to say that I am not exactly pleased with the way many hs'd kids behave. I don't want stepford kids, but basic common sense, politeness, and kindness. Is that too much to ask. My kids aren't the best behaved either, but I call them on it and am constantly trying to teach them to prefer others, and to watch out for littles etc.

 

Being a parent is hard. Maybe I need a cold adult beverage. :tongue_smilie:

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It's not just parents. I had a couple of teachers on a school field trip tell me I had to step aside so their class could exit an exhibit. We were exiting, too, & since the kids at the front ran ahead of me, the teachers wanted me to wait while the whole group went in front of me. :001_huh:

 

I waited, because I have that immediate-cooperation response thing. But then I thought--whaaa?

 

Teachers can be SO rude w/ their TELLING people what to do. I didn't realize it until I *was* one & went to lunch w/ a couple of them. That poor waiter! :tongue_smilie:

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You know I do avoid these places for these reasons, but it isn't just public school kids. I have to say that I am not exactly pleased with the way many hs'd kids behave. I don't want stepford kids, but basic common sense, politeness, and kindness. Is that too much to ask. My kids aren't the best behaved either, but I call them on it and am constantly trying to teach them to prefer others, and to watch out for littles etc.

 

Being a parent is hard. Maybe I need a cold adult beverage. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree: and here....:cheers2: this is for all of us who work REALLY hard to teach our dc manners and how to behave properly! (Although, I prefer my beverage in a tall glass with salt around the rim.;))

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We only visit our children's museum once a month, during Homeschool day. Our age group only has about 10 kids, but they are all very well behaved. We've seen schools come through on those days a couple of times, and they were completely out of control. I chalked it up as 'no parents around' to correct them.

 

Every single time we go to the public library's shows, we encounter exactly the same behavior the OP stated. It's like the parents check out (pun intended) as soon as they enter the library. Kids are jockeying for seats, and push the little ones over in the process. Kids talking the entire time during the presentations. Kids jumping up and down, walking all over the place during the presentation. I've actually pulled my boys out of one of these because I just couldn't take anymore chaos, and the kids were so unruly that my boys weren't getting anything out of it anyway.

 

*Brag Alert*

 

I've always instilled in my boys manners and looking out for smaller kids. Last Easter there was an egg hunt for the kids at church. I told my boys they could each find (7) eggs and then they were done. I was trying to teach them restraint and to not be greedy. They easily found their eggs, then they proceeded to help the little ones (toddler ages) find eggs. They didn't pick the eggs up, they just directed the little ones to where they were. Toward the end, DS7 found an egg, and took it to a little one who was standing by her mom. He said, "here you go" to the little girl, then said to the mom, "My mom said I can only find seven, so this one can be for your little girl." The mom was flabbergasted, as most of the older kids had been knocking the little ones out of the way in an effort to fill their baskets. The pastor's wife pulled the boys aside and told them how proud she was of them for being so thoughtful and kind. Dh and I told them over and over how proud we were of them, and most importantly, the boys both felt happiness in helping the little ones, and they were proud of themselves.

 

I won't pretend my kids are angels, because trust me, they are far from perfect. But when I compare (I know I shouldn't!) them to their peers, they always make me proud. It's a work in progress, but they're finally to the point where I don't have to remind them of their manners constantly.

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You know I do avoid these places for these reasons, but it isn't just public school kids. I have to say that I am not exactly pleased with the way many hs'd kids behave.

Being a parent is hard. Maybe I need a cold adult beverage. :tongue_smilie:

:iagree:

 

I'm serving chocolate truffle martinis.

 

Equal parts vodka, chocolate liquor, and baileys. Yum!

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:iagree:

 

I'm serving chocolate truffle martinis.

 

Equal parts vodka, chocolate liquor, and baileys. Yum!

 

:drool5: I am SO there.

 

I had TWO espresso martinis at Bonefish the other night - dh and I were celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary -- they were worth the 14 Weight Watcher's points.;)

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I think parents think that being in a public spot designed for children means that they are temporarily absolved of being responsible for their kids. I mentioned this to my sister the other day. She came with us to the library and I commented on how the parents just dump their kids off in the children's section and go look at movies or jump online. The kids are running around, screaming, throwing puppets, etc., with no supervision. My sis works at Barnes and Noble, frequently in the children's section, and she said that parents do the same thing there. She actually had one dad ask her, "So, how does this work? I just drop them off here while I look at books?" My sister said, "Um, no. This is a store. You have to attend to your own children." And he looked at her like she was crazy.

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:drool5: I am SO there.

I had TWO espresso martinis at Bonefish the other night - dh and I were celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary -- they were worth the 14 Weight Watcher's points.;)

 

Ohhhh. Coffee and chocolate ... I love it when my favorite things blend together....

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I can't say that I've ever experienced anything like that at children's museums, our zoo, sports events, etc. Teenagers being self-centered at the public pool and hogging certain equipment at the pool, yes, but nothing like what has been described on this thread. Yes, I occasionally see a child be rude and have an urge to address it. But I can't think of a time when it has been more than one child, so I regard those as isolated incidents.

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Teachers can be SO rude w/ their TELLING people what to do. I didn't realize it until I *was* one & went to lunch w/ a couple of them. That poor waiter! :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol:

 

This totally cracked me up! My mother is a teacher and I can't tell you how many times I've been thoroughly embarrassed by her talking to any (full grown adult) whose behavior she disagrees with like they're a rather dim fourth-grader who owes her an explanation IMMEDIATELY.

 

Can't they turn that off when the bell rings? ;)

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Ugh. I can't stand this. It isn't in my nature to speak up, I avoid confrontation like it's the plague, but when it involves my daughter I'm a whole new person!! :D My DD is similar to me, and even though she is much more social than I am (even now!) she still tends to be very cautious and polite and won't confront another child. As a result she gets taken advantage of. I think not!!

 

I really don't understand. I could never sit in a corner and not keep my eyes on my daughter in a public place. Not only to keep her in line, but also out of fear for her getting hurt, or taken, or lost... Just today at the (very large!) park there was a little girl, MAYBE 2 years old - probably younger, walking all over alone. Her mother wasn't even within view most of the time. :glare:

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I was just dealing with this. Last night ds3 had soccer pictures. He is a mild aspie. While waiting for one last parent/child to show for team pictures the kids were playing and one child was being downright rude and mean. "I don't want you here. You can't kick the ball and when you do it doesn't go very far. You can't stop it either."

 

I really, really wanted to lay into the child instead I calmly walked up and said "Are you being kind?" To which he looked at me like I was crazy. I said "You might want to try that." I took my son off to another area to play. What was really heartbreaking is that ds knew I was upset but totally didn't "get" why. He doesn't understand the social aspects of things and of course that made me even angrier.

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I think parents think that being in a public spot designed for children means that they are temporarily absolved of being responsible for their kids. I mentioned this to my sister the other day. She came with us to the library and I commented on how the parents just dump their kids off in the children's section and go look at movies or jump online. The kids are running around, screaming, throwing puppets, etc., with no supervision. My sis works at Barnes and Noble, frequently in the children's section, and she said that parents do the same thing there. She actually had one dad ask her, "So, how does this work? I just drop them off here while I look at books?" My sister said, "Um, no. This is a store. You have to attend to your own children." And he looked at her like she was crazy.

 

:001_huh: Wasn't there a rather long and heated thread about just such a thing recently?

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What bugs me the most lately about dcs and manners is the elevator. It seems there aren't any kids who understand the etiquette of getting on or off an elevator and I guess it really bothers me. :tongue_smilie: It's one of those things I always "knew" but noone does anymore.

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What bugs me the most lately about dcs and manners is the elevator. It seems there aren't any kids who understand the etiquette of getting on or off an elevator and I guess it really bothers me. :tongue_smilie: It's one of those things I always "knew" but noone does anymore.

 

 

FWIW, most adults don't seem to know elevator ettiquette anymore, either. CAN I PLEASE STEP OFF THE ELEVATOR BEFORE YOU TRAMPLE ME IN YOUR ZEAL TO GET INSIDE?!

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FWIW, most adults don't seem to know elevator ettiquette anymore, either. CAN I PLEASE STEP OFF THE ELEVATOR BEFORE YOU TRAMPLE ME IN YOUR ZEAL TO GET INSIDE?!

 

People give dirty looks at us taking the entire elevator and them having to wait for the next one. Most of the time we just take the stairs. Which is a whole other issue of manners. Does no one comprehend staying to one side of the stairs? Or not getting obscenely close right behind you nearly knocking you down the rest of the flight?

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:001_huh: Wasn't there a rather long and heated thread about just such a thing recently?

 

Yes, that was the "How old is too young to leave your kids unattended in a bookstore?" or something like that thread.

 

I think it's totally different to leave an 8 and 11 yr. old alone in the children's section. I'm talking preschool and very young kids being left alone at the library and bookstore. It's also different when the children being left are given rules to follow and not just "dumped off" by the parents. I think that at whatever age, attended or unattended, there are many kids who do not know how to behave in public, and the parents don't seem to think it is their responsibility to teach them.

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