AM I being unreasonable about sports?

[Shelly in IL]

My ds10 wants to play football in the worst way. It's not like he is sports-deprived, he plays hockey and tennis right now and wants to start Judo with his brother this fall, but if we took on football, some of that would fall away.

 

Anyway, show up to practice tonight - football is 5 nights a week!!! Then Saturday games - 2 hour practices!! Can you imagine?

 

Maybe it is me, but how does anyone have a life, if they spend that much time at one thing that early in life? I have one disappointed puppy on my hands. With my eldest just getting interested in Judo, I can't say no to him to focus on youngest getting to football! Judo is only 2 nights per week.

 

CRAZY!!! Or am I lame?

[sassenach]

Our swim team offers practices 5 days a week, but only asks that you make it to 3. Is it like that? Or is it mandatory 5 a week? Do any fall away when the game season starts? I would not commit to something that is 6 days a week. I'm ok with 3-4 days a week. Also, with all of his other activities, I would not add anything on. My kids have 1 activity at a time, with the exception of the spring when swim and baseball overlap.

 

My ds would also like to play football, but our league does all of their games on Sunday mornings. That's not going to work for us! They can't have it all, you know?

[dsmith]

I don't think you're lame. I think it's ridiculous to have practice 5 days a week! It's the same in our town, plus the games on Saturday or Sunday. The practices were long, and scheduled to run right over dinner time for most people. I would have said no way if ds was interested.

[anissa]

We did football last fall and hated it!! Two of our boys wanted to try and we let them. You know what your family can handle but from our experience football does not work well with any other activities. Is your son ready to give all the other things up? Also, football parents are pretty insane.:001_rolleyes:

[JoyfulMama]

We have practice 2-3 nights a week for football/cheering, plus games on weekends. However, it is only for 3 months (first month is just practice twice weekly). I have heard of some other football teams that do practice 5 nights a week, which I personally feel is excessive. Would it stop us from letting dc participate? It would depend on other obligations, and if I could car-pool with someone.

[mama23]

That sounds a bit excessive for a bunch of 10 yr olds.

[Danestress]

It's just a personal decision, and not something that can be judged as good or bad, in my decision.

 

My boys practice their sports 5 days most weeks and have entire weekends dedicated to them. One plays tennis, the other swims.

 

If they wanted to be really good violinists, I would not balk at 5 days of practice a week. In fact, they are both pretty average violinists and I make the practice 5 days a week. They have to do Algebra 5 days a week if they really want to progress.

 

It's not unreasonable at all to say "no." You have to know your own limits. Sports are not essential.

 

But how do they have a life? They have great lives. They read a lot, have friends, travel a good bit, they are growing in the Lord. What do they not do? They don't have time for tv. They never play video games. They definitely can only do ONE sport. They have time to "hang out" with friends, but not daily, and sometimes not all week. They have great friends from their sports. They have long term relationships with coaches who care about them as people. The tennis player in particular has friends who he has competed with for a long time. They win, they loose, they play doubles together .... it's fun, and sometimes it's not fun but is character building.

 

My sons are both willing to make major sacrifices for their sports, and so I am willing to sacrifice my time and money too. I will do that as long as they have a good work ethic and a respectful attitude towards their family, coaches and other players. But I don't think it's at all unreasonable to not do so, just like I don't think it's unreasonable to decide we don't have time for 4-H or boy scouts. You just can't do everything. Part of it just depends on how important it is to your child, and it sounds like your son has a lots of irons in the fire.

[Samiam]

I agree with Danetress....what works for my family, might not be the same for yours. And vice versa. I couldn't see doing Gymnastics five days a week, in the middle of the day, in a town a hour away, that costs $$$$$$$....but I know many who do that

 

My DS12 is doing football....and yes, during the first two weeks, it is M-F, 2 hours a night. It's conditioning...get the boys into shape. Then it goes down to 3 nights a week and game days on Saturdays. My son loves it. This will be his only evening activity. It is a pain at some points, like when our other DS have activities, and we have to work it all in.

 

But that's the season of life we are in. We have children who enjoy different activities, and we want to give them that opportunity. Football is one of those sports that ya can pretty much only play as a child, at least Tackle, unless you are one of the few who make it beyond high school with it.

 

Football is hard...I know I could not do what my DS12 is doing this past week. But it's also an accomplishment. There are many children who do not make it past the few two weeks of training..it is hard, and it's usually hot (my DS was one of those when he was in 4th grade)...but once you do, after that you get to wear pads, and do some stuff that feels more like playing football.

 

to the original person, your son is young, so he could wait another year or two to see if his interest holds. In the meantime, he could try flag football which is fun, but much less intense.

[Shelly in IL]

I appreciate those who are willing to put that effort in for their kids' sports. I do pretty well, here, considering he is in several sporting opportunities during the year (hockey, tennis, going to start judo, etc.), but I left out the fact that my husband travels, ALOT. This summer he was gone for 6 weeks in one long trip. Other wise, he is gone approx. 17 days a month (airline pilot, marine corps reserve pilot) - I think the stress of everyday football would kill me - I do not do well over-scheduled.

 

So, no offense meant to anyone who does this kind of schedule! Also, our football practice does not fall away once games start. We also like to travel and the coach basically said that if we don't show up, we don't plaly. I understand his reasoning, but this is the last month of summer!! It just won't work.

 

Thanks for the response.

[Pongo]

My dd plays soccer 5 days a week. But, that is her ONLY sport because she plays year round. I have a ds that plays football in the fall, basketball in the winter and spring soccer. My youngest does dance year round, fall soccer and winter basketball. Is it crazy...yes. If they did not love it, and I mean LOVE IT, I wouldn't even consider it. They are all dedicated to their sports, and the minute I get a whine, about not wanting to go, then we re-evaluate it, although that hasn't happened yet.:)

[Carrie12345]

Same here, and it's not just football. Ds's little league team had practice 3x/wk and 2 games/wk. Fortunately, we had a decent amount of rain throughout the season. ;)

 

The only reason I've okayed it for baseball is because it's a short season (mostly April and May plus a week or two on either end), and most of our fields are "only" 15-20 minutes away. For soccer or football, we'd be talking 30-60 minutes away :001_huh:. No, thank you!

[MommaOfThree]

Are you sure football is 5 nights a week for the entire season?

 

Locally, our teams do "conditioning" for 2 weeks at the beginning of the football season. We have 5 nights a week of practice ONLY during those two weeks and then we are down to 2/nights a week w/games once a week.

 

Right now, my kids' only 'sports passion' is football so I deal with the inconvenience for two weeks .. I do agree that an entire season of 5/nights a week of practice is extreme.

[kwickimom]

I dont think you are lame, and I do think it all depends on what your focus is and whats important in YOUR life. One of my friends kids competitive swims. They live in their car and are on the road the entire summer...I could never ever do that. We are homebodies. I do not like to drive that much. I like the calm, quiet country life. I personally hate football, but we hunt. And for 3 months out of the year thats all we do. We spend a ton of money on it and it consumes our lives for 3 straight months. Some people would never do what we do. Many of my friends fight constantly with their husbands about hours spent in the woods. I dont care at all.

 

I think its all about what you like/dislike.

[lionfamily1999]

Is this a high school team? Ime, school teams do practice a lot, but it's sort of an extension of the school day (so it doesn't seem like a lot while you're doing it).

 

If this was his one sport then I'd say you're being unreasonable. All the same, if he's already got a few sports and he's doing this in addition to all that, I'd say he's being unreasonable ;) I would make him choose two to three sports and stick with them.

[katemary63]

My son LOVED playing football and at the age of 9 or so (I can't remember, he is now 23) he joined the PeeWee league. In our area, it was also 5 nights a week, 2 hours per practice. We all hated it, but no one worse then my son. He was exhausted all the time. He was excellent at it and we made him finish out the season, but you couldn't have paid him money to play the next year. Too bad some leagues take things so far, we all would have loved it if it were 2 nights of practice and a game and he probably would have played his whole life. I think it's just rediculous to have 1 sport for 6 days a week for that age.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I would find 5 days a week for 2 hours a day a bit much for a 10 year old. We are not talking about preparing for college scouts, here. I do think that 10 year olds should have family time and just plain play time. Unless one is preparing for an olympic event, I can't see that 10 hours of practice a week is going to show long-term gain.

 

But that is just me. I love sports, but don't like the idea of pushing intense training down to really young children.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I agree with Danestress. My older two have both played football. It is different from many other sports in that playing takes a coordinated effort of all the kids, all at once, in order to play correctly. In swimming, baseball, basketball, you don't all have to be doing roughly the same thing at the same time for it to work. Football is pretty much impossible to practice on your own, you know?

 

The teamwork that kids learn in football is not like any other sport my boys have tried. My older son played three years ago and the boys that were on his team STILL come up and high five him and the other guys that were on that team, even though that is the ONLY time they have been on teams together.

 

My son is eight. He wanted to play football this year and we let him. His practices are four or five nights a week, for two hours + a night. Games are on the weekend for roughly one and a half to two hours. It is a heavy time commitment, but in order to not be hurt, I think it does take that level of training. I tried to talk him into soccer this year, but he was having none of it! HE loves it. The practice schedule is tough, but I wouldn't want him out there playing in the games unless he had practiced that much.

 

ETA: In non contact sports, if you don't practice much, the worst that can happen is that you lose the game. In football, you could be seriously injured if you don't know how to tackle, don't know the correct way to take a hit, etc...

Edited August 3, 2010 by Old Dominion Heather

[hornblower]

I wouldn't do it. But then, I've decided I don't value group sports very much.

 

Fitness, yes. Camraderie, yes.

 

Sports & competition - not so much. & definitely not that much time eating into life. I won't even think about saying yes to that schedule.

[Elizabeth in WA]

My 12 year does gymnastics five days a week for four hours a day during the school year and 5 hours a day during the summer. He went to the five day schedule at 11. However, I would never have started out that way in the sport. When we started six years ago, practice was twice a week for two hours. The gym has grown on us, and this year he is hoping to compete nationally.

 

I don't think you are being unreasonable; starting out in a sport at a five day schedule would be pretty rough for me. I'd want to see some real dedication before I committed to the kind of schedule we have now. We had to move close to the gym so my non-gymnast children could have an activity as well. It was just impossible with long drives to the gym every afternoon. Now that we are closer, we also have a carpool which has made my life tremendously easier.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I will say that I would NEVER agree to let any of the boys play and have that schedule if it were further than five minutes drive for me... but it is literally about three minutes drive from the house.