thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Background: My husband's sister was adopted when she was 2, and due to her circumstances, she had been severely malnourished and was developmentally delayed. Fast forward to now- she's in her early 30s and acts about 16. She is not married and has a 6 year old daughter. I watched my niece full time for 2 years before she started kindergarten last fall. I witnessed SO many bad parenting moments during the time I watched her, but really just tried to keep my opinions to myself, or gently try to guide SIL in a different direction. Several times, though, she did things that were so egregious, that I lost it and lay into her. (Like bringing her daughter to my house in -5 degree weather with no coat, no gloves, no boots, no hat!) So, today, dear niece is staying at my house for a sleepover playdate with my boys. SIL drops her off and tells me dn is not allowed to eat lunch. :confused: Why?, I ask. She already ate too much at breakfast, was the reply. SIL then tells me that dn is weighing herself every day to see if she gains weight. :scared: At her previous pediatrician appointments, the doc was concerned about dn's weight. SIL discussed this with me, and I asked her if the doc checked her out thoroughly. Another SIL and i had already discussed the weight gain and said it seems like dn doesn't have a "shut-off" switch. She'll just keep eating and eating. Well, something happened with insurance (SIL forgot to re-enroll at open enrollment), so dn hasn't been back to the doctor. I've tried to talk to SIL about feeding her daughter healthy foods (i.e. NOT Lunchables and Doritos!), but that she still needs to eat regular meals. It seems like they are just starving her now. Well, not starving her, but if she's weighing herself everyday, she is going to get a complex or eating disorder at the very least! :banghead::banghead::banghead: I so wish I could adopt her. Dh and I have talked about it, but SIL isn't going to give up her rights, and Step-MIL would want custody anyway. I love Step-MIL to death, but she's not too helpful in the situation. When I complained to her about dn not having any clothes that fit, she just replied that dn needed to lose weight. ACK!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 How old is your niece? Unfortunately there have been some sad cases in the local news lately of children and even babies who have been starved because the parent did not want them to "be fat". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 She's 6. She'll be 7 in November. They are not actually starving her, but I can definitely see an eating disorder in her future. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 At her previous pediatrician appointments, the doc was concerned about dn's weight. SIL discussed this with me, and I asked her if the doc checked her out thoroughly. Another SIL and i had already discussed the weight gain and said it seems like dn doesn't have a "shut-off" switch. She'll just keep eating and eating. Is this concern about her weight a recent issue? If SIL has been withholding food, dn may keep eating and eating when she does have food because she doesn't know when she will get to eat again. I wish people would focus more on eating healthy, real foods than on what a scale says. That is sad for your dn. Sounds like SIL could use some good nutrition counseling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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