Question about God

[Sahamamama]

It started with a cup of coffee. ;) My husband brought me a cup of coffee, looked at his watch, and when the caffeine hit, I started talking and talking and talking (as usual). Husband always thinks this is hilariously funny, but today he has to go to a meeting, so then I say,

 

 

"But what will I do with the rest of the caffeinated words?"

 

and he says on his way out the door,

 

"Talk to God."

 

 

 

My first thought was,

 

 

"No, God loves me and I know he hears me, but he just never listens to me."

 

 

 

:001_huh: I didn't always believe this. How did I get to this place? I do believe that God hears me, but somehow listening is different, KWIM? I feel as though God listens to other people. I used to think I knew him, but now I just sort of remember having known him.

 

I can pray, in a way, for other people and other people's needs. But (to me) that's not the same as talking to God, as in "having a conversation." I think he's still in the room with me, he hears me if I say anything at all, but I just do not actually talk to him anymore. Haven't in a long time, really.

 

Not sure why, though.

 

I feel as though he must be tired of listening to me? :confused:

 

Caffeine or no caffeine.

 

 

 

 

[Mama Geek]

God doesn't move away from us, we move away from him. I would suggest starting to talk to him and as you do it will become more comfortable again.

[TXMomof4]

When I"m in that place (which is more often than it should be) I write it down. Just like I'm writing a letter to a friend. Then I'm not expecting immediate response, but I get all my thoughts out anyway. It's also neat to go back and see the answers I did get a month, two months later. I guess it's journaling of a sort, but I think of it as more written communication with God.

[freetobeme]

thanks for posting this. i'm kind of there now, too.

[milovany]

I don't really have an answer or any wisdom for you. Just wanted to say I'm sorry it feels this way for you right now. :grouphug:

[Sahamamama]

God doesn't move away from us, we move away from him. I would suggest starting to talk to him and as you do it will become more comfortable again.

 

But in the back of my mind there is the nagging question, "Do you really think he's listening? To you? Why would God be listening to you?"

 

I used to be able to say a resounding YES to those questions.

 

I miss the certainty. KWIM?

[texasmama]

:grouphug: When things are very hard and circumstances don't change in spite of many, many prayers, it is easy for me to believe that God doesn't hear me...that He isn't listening. I know He loves me and His heart towards me is good. A lot of the rest I don't have figured out. I have thought up a title for a book I will never write, but I do like the title :D - "If I am so loved, why is life so hard?". We are dealing with an issue right now that my husband keeps asking me to pray about...but I have...literally for years...so my attitude (not that I am claiming this is the right one to have, just being honest here) is that God knows what the need is and hasn't chosen to meet it. I am done begging, asking, etc. God didn't forget, ya know?

[katemary63]

God doesn't move away from us, we move away from him. I would suggest starting to talk to him and as you do it will become more comfortable again.

 

:iagree: Believe what you read in His word. Not just intelectually, but in your heart. He tells you Himself that He is listening to you. Believe it...down in your soul. It's a choice. For example, sometimes I can't accept that God forgives me for some of the things I do or for my bad attitudes. I ask for His forgiveness, but still feel as though I have no right to expect anything from Him because I just don't deserve it. This is how I feel. But I KNOW it's not true. I read the Bible and know that he forgives everything I do and wants to continue in a relationship with me. So I choose believe and I choose to act on my belief, in spite of how I feel. Pretty soon, I'm feelin' pretty good! :001_smile:

[Sahamamama]

:grouphug: When things are very hard and circumstances don't change in spite of many, many prayers, it is easy for me to believe that God doesn't hear me...that He isn't listening. I know He loves me and His heart towards me is good. A lot of the rest I don't have figured out.... We are dealing with an issue right now that my husband keeps asking me to pray about...but I have...literally for years...so my attitude... is that God knows what the need is and hasn't chosen to meet it. I am done begging, asking, etc. God didn't forget, ya know?

 

Yes, that's sort of what I'm working through -- this sense of knowing God is sovereign and powerful and loving (I don't doubt that), knowing that he hears me and loves me, knowing that other people talk and walk with him intimately (and I can look back on when that was true in my life, also)...

 

But....

 

As far as today is concerned? It seems as though God is not really doing anything where I live, as if all the wood on the tree is dead, as if we are in a deep, deep winter and longing silently for spring....

 

It seems as though, where I live, we put in our time (church, prayer, worship) and do the right things (tithe, pray, love our families)... but nothing changes.

 

Nothing happens.

 

And it makes me wonder why. Does God detest New Jersey? Are there regions of the world that are under his judgment? Is his silence his verdict?

 

Prayer for me now is like hitting my head against a solid wall of hard, cold stone. I do it, because I am stubborn. Because, deeper down, beneath the questions, there is a tenacious faith that reaches out to ask that the kingdom of heaven would come down. To this dead place, where I live.

 

When prayer is like this, it hurts. Does anyone know what I mean?

[Alyce]

It is perfectly human for us to expect God to answer us in the way we ask. If he doesn't we think he's not listening. I was going through a large health problem for many years and it got so bad I just thought God doesn't love me anymore or he'd be fixing this problem. Over time it has worked itself to a better situation and now I've been able to look back and see that my prayers were answered just not in the way I expected. I agree with the PP about writing your prayers down. You won't see an immediate difference but over time I bet you will be able to see that God was listening after all. I was doing my bible study today and came across this verse which might apply to you. It certainly was a reminder to me.

 

I Peter 5: 8 - 10

 

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal gory in Christ, will himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

 

The devil always seeks to find a way to destroy our belief in God. Remember that God is always with us. You are listening to the voice the devil is planting in your mind (the side the devil likes to get us to use), God is listening, he is answering your prayers, he loves you. Trust in your heart. Talk to God. Talk to him on paper, out loud or in prayer. He will hear you, but don't let the devil put the seed of doubt into you. God is there but he doesn't always do things the way we ask for them to be done. He sees a larger picture and knows what we really need.

[Teachin'Mine]

 

 

 

"No, God loves me and I know he hears me, but he just never listens to me."

 

 

 

:001_huh: I didn't always believe this. How did I get to this place? I do believe that God hears me, but somehow listening is different, KWIM? I feel as though God listens to other people. I used to think I knew him, but now I just sort of remember having known him.

 

I can pray, in a way, for other people and other people's needs. But (to me) that's not the same as talking to God, as in "having a conversation." I think he's still in the room with me, he hears me if I say anything at all, but I just do not actually talk to him anymore. Haven't in a long time, really.

 

Not sure why, though.

 

I feel as though he must be tired of listening to me? :confused:

 

Caffeine or no caffeine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good! You've told us ... now tell Him. ;)

[TXMomof4]

Another thing I do is sit and read the Psalms. Don't try to pick one to meditate on, just let the words flow through you. Even David - a man after God's own heart - felt alone and like he was being ignored. So he became more persistent. It makes me feel better because then I don't feel like a big whiner face when I'm complaining because I'm not getting an answer. David asked for his enemies to get knocked in the head - repeatedly. Then asked what was taking God so long!

 

Just the last few days I've been doing this and found verses that fit exactly where I am. I just keep saying them over and over.

 

Psalms 25:16-17

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;

free me from my anguish

 

Psalms 27:13-14

13 I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD.

 

You *know* he is listening, ask him for evidence that he's listening. Ask him to give you that belief, that trust, that confidence back. Put prayers for health, physical circumstances aside and PRAY for his nearness. He will listen.

[texasmama]

Yes, that's sort of what I'm working through -- this sense of knowing God is sovereign and powerful and loving (I don't doubt that), knowing that he hears me and loves me, knowing that other people talk and walk with him intimately (and I can look back on when that was true in my life, also)...

 

But....

 

As far as today is concerned? It seems as though God is not really doing anything where I live, as if all the wood on the tree is dead, as if we are in a deep, deep winter and longing silently for spring....

 

It seems as though, where I live, we put in our time (church, prayer, worship) and do the right things (tithe, pray, love our families)... but nothing changes.

 

Nothing happens.

 

And it makes me wonder why. Does God detest New Jersey? Are there regions of the world that are under his judgment? Is his silence his verdict?

 

Prayer for me now is like hitting my head against a solid wall of hard, cold stone. I do it, because I am stubborn. Because, deeper down, beneath the questions, there is a tenacious faith that reaches out to ask that the kingdom of heaven would come down. To this dead place, where I live.

 

When prayer is like this, it hurts. Does anyone know what I mean?

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Yes, I know what you mean. Years of desert in one's life circumstances can lead to desert in one's heart. I know it all works out "in the end", but I am so hurt by the middle. Yes, I understand. My faith is intact, but my heart is broken. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[simka2]

I come at this from a different angle...then again I look at everything a bit differently. Sometimes we boil down a relationship to God to a very formulaic thing. Regular devotions becomes a sign of a mature walk, KWIM?

 

But, how would we feel if our dh said, "alright, were going to sit down for 30 min every morning, then I'm going to mark you off my check list for the day." Um, no! That doesn't work for me! :D

 

I think when we begin to treat our relationship with God, like a real relationship that sometimes has long deep conversation and others has short burst of communication...it gets easier.

 

I'm in no way saying God is mad at you!!!! I just enjoy the freedom of a real, flowing, relationship of God. :)

[Sahamamama]

I come at this from a different angle...then again I look at everything a bit differently. Sometimes we boil down a relationship to God to a very formulaic thing. Regular devotions becomes a sign of a mature walk, KWIM?

 

But, how would we feel if our dh said, "alright, were going to sit down for 30 min every morning, then I'm going to mark you off my check list for the day." Um, no! That doesn't work for me! :D

 

 

:iagree:I actually don't have "regular devotions." I suppose it is spiritually healthy for some people, sort of like "regular bowel movements," but every time I hear this phrase, I think of high-fiber foods and long days in the bathroom. :tongue_smilie:I agree, it's like a forced date with God. Blah.

 

What breaks my heart is not any circumstance in my life -- my life is working out fairly well, actually, no complaints -- nor any specific "issue" or "trial" in a loved one's life. In some ways, it's not even an inner spiritual dryness in me, personally. What breaks my heart is feeling as though I live in a desert region, spiritually-speaking, and I do not see any winds of change.

 

There seems to be no small cloud on the horizon, no hint of rain, no freshness for weary pastors or intercessors -- just years and years of waiting.

 

I know that God hears us in our waiting, I don't doubt that he hears us.... I only wonder when he will show up in New Jersey.

[Mama Geek]

My husband and I wanted to have children for many years. This was a time where I also wondered if God heard me. We had pretty much given up on the idea of having children and had started making plans to be more adventuresome and to take more risks. (We were working our way to moving onto a sailboat and cruising the world for an indefinite amount of time.)

 

At the age of 35 I am now a mother to a sweet almost 4 week old baby girl and the plans to sail off have been postponed.

 

Looking back over the last couple of years, I have recognized that there were several things that I needed to learn to help me be a better parent and to be a better wife.

 

We also spent several years trying to get out of jobs that we didn't like in an area that we didn't like. I finally decided that I was willing to take a risk and we got the opportunity of a lifetime. We spent 1 1/2 years working in Alaska. We had a wonderful time and it turned out to be a great financial decision.

 

God has great things planned for us that are better than we could ever imagine, all we have to do is to be open to what that is.

[Mama Geek]

But in the back of my mind there is the nagging question, "Do you really think he's listening? To you? Why would God be listening to you?"

 

God listens to us because he is our creator and we are his children. He values each and everyone of us. My husband and I were reading Matthew within the last day or 2 and I thought this would be appropriate for your question. I am not trying to say that you are the lost sheep, just that he values all of his sheep.

 

From Matthew 18

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

 

10"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.[a]

12"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

[silliness7]

But in the back of my mind there is the nagging question, "Do you really think he's listening? To you? Why would God be listening to you?"

 

I used to be able to say a resounding YES to those questions.

 

I miss the certainty. KWIM?

 

God listens to me and all who are IN Christ. Christ is key. Christ is why He listens. Reading through a commentary on the Shorter Catechism recently with the kids, an author put it quite bluntly and I had not really thought about it before. She said frankly that God does not listen to everyone. God listens only to those who are in Christ. Initially that sounded weird to my ears but when I stopped and thought about it, it made sense. After all, that's why we pray in His name. He is the high priest and the reason the prayers of His people are heard. Call on Jesus' name and He promises to hear you.:grouphug:

 

ETA: After finishing reading your last post and your wanting God to show up in New Jersey. I would say He already has. He has shown up in His Word (I'm sure New Jersey has a copy ;)) Do not neglect reading the Word. Someone suggested the Psalms and that's a wonderful place to start. And don't be afraid to ask God to SHOW UP to you. I have asked this a time or two and never been disappointed.

 

I don't like it when devotions start feeling like a checklist either as someone else has said. That doesn't mean to stop reading the Word. Bring that attitude and concern to God. Some days it does feel like a checklist. Confess, repent and keep going. The Word is how God reveals Himself. It is one of His primary means of nourishing us. You might enjoy listening to Scripture set to music. www.desiringgod.org has a wonderful CD of Scripture songs called Fighter Verses. I'm currently listening to The Shorter Catechism set to music while we drive in the car...trying to memorize it...but have found it to be wonderfully worshipful and refreshing for the soul, this meditating on the meaty truths of Scripture. May God bless you as you seek Him.

Edited July 17, 2010 by silliness7

[Sue G in PA]

I've been in that desert place for a long time now. Feeling EXACTLY like you do. Why would God care/listen/hear ME? I love Hillsong's "Desert Song". Listen to it frequently. :grouphug:

[juelle]

Yes, that's sort of what I'm working through -- this sense of knowing God is sovereign and powerful and loving (I don't doubt that), knowing that he hears me and loves me, knowing that other people talk and walk with him intimately (and I can look back on when that was true in my life, also)...

 

But....

 

As far as today is concerned? It seems as though God is not really doing anything where I live, as if all the wood on the tree is dead, as if we are in a deep, deep winter and longing silently for spring....

 

It seems as though, where I live, we put in our time (church, prayer, worship) and do the right things (tithe, pray, love our families)... but nothing changes.

 

Nothing happens.

 

And it makes me wonder why. Does God detest New Jersey? Are there regions of the world that are under his judgment? Is his silence his verdict?

 

Prayer for me now is like hitting my head against a solid wall of hard, cold stone. I do it, because I am stubborn. Because, deeper down, beneath the questions, there is a tenacious faith that reaches out to ask that the kingdom of heaven would come down. To this dead place, where I live.

 

When prayer is like this, it hurts. Does anyone know what I mean?

 

Yes. And then there are times when it's easier. It'll be good in Heaven.

Edited July 17, 2010 by juelle

[Sahamamama]

I've been in that desert place for a long time now. Feeling EXACTLY like you do. Why would God care/listen/hear ME? I love Hillsong's "Desert Song". Listen to it frequently. :grouphug:

 

Thanks, everyone, for listening and giving feedback. I will follow through with some of these suggestions, especially the one about listening to the Bible with music in the background. Music does seem to open up my spirit in a way that ink on a page does not.

 

Yes, Sue, it's like this for me (see bold above). You know, when I was young and stupid ;), say, twenty-something, or even thirty-something, LOL, I really thought that God and I would "change the world." Dumb, yeah, I know, but I was that type of disciple. The bleeding-heart, we-can-make-a-difference-if-we-try type of person.

 

I was a missionary to abused orphans in Central America, I graduated from seminary, I went to Africa, I worked with mentally-ill, chemically-addicted, HIV-positive, homeless, pregnant teens in the inner-city, I volunteered, I studied, I prayed. The motto of my life back then was that "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life."

 

In the midst of all that serving -- and, ironically, even in spite of (or because of?) the intimacy with God -- I realized that I was lonely as a single woman. So, for years I asked God for a good husband. When I was 37, God gave me that wonderful man, followed by three sweet daughters. As you can see, God listened to me then! I am blessed.

 

I think that now there is a part of me that feels so... I don't know... insignificant in God's plan? As if so much has changed in such a short period of time, I'm not sure how to relate to him now. It's as if we're old, close friends, we know we can be comfortable with each other, even in the silences, but if it comes to having a conversation, I simply do not know what to say. "Hello? God? It's me... remember me? How's it going? Had any good weather up there lately? Oh. That's nice.... We're in a heat wave."

 

I said to my husband, "Why am I telling God these things? He knows."

 

I really do need to snap out of this Why would God listen to Lil Ole Me? I'm just a homeschool mom nonsense that I've been hearing in my head lately. Sue, if you figure out how to snap out of this, let me know, okay? :) I'm gonna find those Fighter Verses that Rebecca mentioned! Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh!

Edited July 17, 2010 by Sahamamama

[Lovedtodeath]

I find that when I feel this way I am either suffering from depression or I need to listen to him*. We all want a 2 way conversation with anyone we talk to after all.

 

*read His Word.

[KJsMom]

I think we have all gone through seasons of dryness and doubt. I often find myself there. My youngest dd is my best teacher. I taught her that God is always with her and He is always listening and she believes it with every thing in her. When she prays she doesn't have a scripted, flowery opening...she just says "Hello" because she is begining a conversation. She believes that God cares about every single thing that concerns her. She prays for lost toys and ouchies. She prays for friends and family. She prays for healing when she knows someone is sick or hurt, and she never doubts that God is listening. I am amazed to see how her little prayers are answered and it helps me to remember that we are all important to our Father.

I hope you can find that child-like faith, I know it is frustrating to be in that place.

[OnTheBrink]

I thought of you tonight while I was at work. I was listening to Ancient Faith Radio and they had a quote from St. Someone from Somewhere who addressed this very issue. I grabbed a pen to write down the quote, but I didn't get it all, and now I can't even read what I tried to write down. :glare:

 

Basically the jist was to read the Bible and pray, but St. Whoever said it so much better than that! Oh well. If I hear it again, I'll write more neatly.

[Lovedtodeath]

I think we have all gone through seasons of dryness and doubt. I often find myself there. My youngest dd is my best teacher. I taught her that God is always with her and He is always listening and she believes it with every thing in her. When she prays she doesn't have a scripted, flowery opening...she just says "Hello" because she is begining a conversation. She believes that God cares about every single thing that concerns her. She prays for lost toys and ouchies. She prays for friends and family. She prays for healing when she knows someone is sick or hurt, and she never doubts that God is listening. I am amazed to see how her little prayers are answered and it helps me to remember that we are all important to our Father.

I hope you can find that child-like faith, I know it is frustrating to be in that place.

That is beautiful!

 

I thought of you tonight while I was at work. I was listening to Ancient Faith Radio and they had a quote from St. Someone from Somewhere who addressed this very issue. I grabbed a pen to write down the quote, but I didn't get it all, and now I can't even read what I tried to write down. :glare:

 

Basically the jist was to read the Bible and pray, but St. Whoever said it so much better than that! Oh well. If I hear it again, I'll write more neatly.

LOL! I wish I could say it better.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

When I was in the Air Force, about 12 years ago, I was on a trip to Florida, and an 83 year old man spoke about Home Missions to New Jersey, talking about how it had less churches and less people that believed in Christ than anywhere. He was amazing, he was still going and excited at age 83...if I had been in Florida, I would have signed up to go!!

 

A bit later, but when I was still in the Air Force, I was on a trip to E. Berlin. It felt spiritually very dark there and I found it hard to sense God there.

 

I would read books about people who have persevered through their own dark nights of the soul.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

 

It seems as though, where I live, we put in our time (church, prayer, worship) and do the right things (tithe, pray, love our families)... but nothing changes.

 

Nothing happens.

 

And it makes me wonder why. Does God detest New Jersey? Are there regions of the world that are under his judgment? Is his silence his verdict?

 

 

 

When we put in our time, and do the right things, we are still not doing what God requires. Instead, I think, to some extent we are learning that we CAN'T do all that God requires. And yet He does come to us. It's His choice, though; not something that we produce through doing these right things. (As in LWW, He's not a tame lion!) He prays in our place. (For we do not know how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit knows our weakness and prays for us in sighs too deep for words.)

 

Remember, He was not in the whirlwind. He was the still, small voice.

 

Though still and small, His voice is not silent. It speaks to us, through Word and Sacrament. Silence is not His verdict.

[milovany]

I thought of you tonight while I was at work. I was listening to Ancient Faith Radio and they had a quote from St. Someone from Somewhere who addressed this very issue. I grabbed a pen to write down the quote, but I didn't get it all, and now I can't even read what I tried to write down. :glare:

 

Basically the jist was to read the Bible and pray, but St. Whoever said it so much better than that! Oh well. If I hear it again, I'll write more neatly.

 

You made both dh and I laugh out loud. :lol:

 

(Not that your message to the OP wasn't serious! But the delivery is a little humorous, n'est-ce pas?)

[Lovedtodeath]

It seems as though, where I live, we put in our time (church, prayer, worship) and do the right things (tithe, pray, love our families)... but nothing changes.

 

Nothing happens.

 

And it makes me wonder why.

I think this is why some change denominations/religions.

 

When prayer is like this, it hurts. Does anyone know what I mean?

Yes. The best way through it is to ask for help. Ask God to help you do the things he wants. The scriptures are full of spiritual ones who asked for help. He wants us to rely on him.

[HerdingCats]

I can really feel so much of what you all are saying. I'm not in the OP's situation location-wise, but spiritually have felt the same way. There was a time when I was so "into" the Lord and felt His presence in so many ways, but somewhere along the lines fell away from that. I think I went through some dissilusionment with fellow believers and disappointment in myself right after losing my mother. It's been a few years since I've been in a Bible study, and we spent a couple of years trying to find the right church. I think I am just beginning to realize how my own heart attitude has been the source of the wedge, instead of external factors. In my rebellion against what I saw that I didn't want to be, I have been this "contrary" person. Not that this is something new in my personality :glare:, but lately I have felt the Lord asking me what else have I pitted myself against that is to my detriment? That quote, "choose your enemies wisely, for they will define you" (sorry, I can't remember who to attribute this to except a U2 song) has been on my heart. In a way being in the Bible Belt can be just as much a desert place as anywhere else if you let it.

[Sahamamama]

In a way being in the Bible Belt can be just as much a desert place as anywhere else if you let it.

 

This is true. I lived in Missouri for seven years, and it could be lonely at times (I had no family out there).

 

Yesterday, I was walking with my 3.5 year old twins in the woods through a park, and it dawned on me that when I was single and had no children, I used to walk and pray. I think that is part of what has changed -- being able to go for a walk ALONE. ;) You know, I also realized that I pray out loud, but with small children around all the time, if I pray out loud, they think I'm talking to them. "What did you say, Mommy?" :D I need to learn to pray in my head, right?

Edited July 21, 2010 by Sahamamama