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Would you allow your 12 year old to get a facebook?


Would you allow your 12 year old to get a facebook page?  

  1. 1. Would you allow your 12 year old to get a facebook page?

    • Yes, I would
      36
    • No, I would not
      192
    • I would- but I would take it away if anything questionable happened
      49
    • obligatory other-- please explain
      4


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Also, there is no way for a parent to shut down a 13-18 year old child's FB website. However, parents can request removal of photos/videos of children under 13.

 

 

 

 

There is no way to do it using their birthdate, but I can give my kid an account under my birth date, using their name, their pictures, their info and allow them use it, according to their rules.

 

Its all them protecting themselves, they don't actually care who is behind the computer screen, they just don't want to get sued. It is against the law for *any* website to collect information about a minor, but yet any picture or piece of information pertaining to your children that you upload to the internet (blogs, photo albums etc....) is breaking this law. Its just too arbitrary to enforce. That is the only reason that rule is in place for FB.

 

I didn't lie when I created that account for my son and nobody can convince me I did, I stand by that 100%.

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IMHO, if the FB rule says, "IF YOU ARE UNDER AGE 13, PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REGISTER FOR FACEBOOK..." then to me that means if you are under 13 you should not be on Facebook! I dunno, it looks very clear to me!

 

If you tell your chld , "Do NOT do this thing" and they get a friend to do that very thing for them anyway, then wouldn't you think they were disobeying you/doing the wrong thing/making a bad choice? So then, why is it okay for parents to do that to get their kids under 13 on Facebook? To me that's teaching them how to fudge to make the rules fit what they want!

 

Anyway, my answer was no. My boys were older, and dd was 13, before they got on Facebook.

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I'm fuzzy about the details now, but when dd wanted a FB (and was 12), I took the age requirement to be the age you needed to be without parental consent. So, I took it as you were 13 or your parent/guardian was consenting if you were not 13.

 

But I fully accept that I could be utterly wrong and it might actually mean the designers of FB think no one under 13 is allowed to be there. I never even gave it that much thought because several of her (12yo) friends were members, too, and I was a member, so...just didn't think it was a biggie.

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My dd got one when she was 11. My 5 year old has one, but it is listed as a pet name. He plays games on it. He, at 5 years old, figured out he could get a free month to Jumpstart our FB accounts. So, we set up some for the pet - so he could get more free months!

 

Nearly our entire extended family is on FB. My dd talks with them, shares pictures, etc. Since losing her brother, many of his friends have connected with her (and me) on FB. Their support has been amazing! I think it is a valuable way to stay connected with people far away. It also great for friends and family right here because sometimes you don't have time to call or come by, but you may have time to drop a little note to somebody.

 

Another benefit is that my dd can't use it unless her school is done and room is clean. She finds this a great incentive!

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My 13 yr. old doesn't have one. There are a lot of kids in my extended family with an account. I actually don't "friend" them. I don't think it's appropriate for my little nieces/cousins/etc. to see some of my personal stuff. Not that I write anything bad, there are just some things I choose to share with the adults in my life and not the kids in the family.

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From Facebook:

 

link to page

 

 

Age Restrictions on Facebook

How do I report a child under the age of 13?

Facebook requires individuals to be at least 13 years old before they...

Facebook requires individuals to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account. In some jurisdictions, the age limit may be higher. Providing false information to create an account is always a violation of our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. This includes accounts registered on the behalf of under 13 year old children by older parties. (emphasis added)

 

If your underage child (child under the age of 13) has created an account on Facebook, you can show them how to delete their account by having them log into their account and following this link.

 

If you would like to report an account registered for an underage child to us, please do so here. We will promptly delete the account of any child under the age of 13 that is reported to us through this form.

/help/?faq=16109

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No. For the simple reason that it is against the rules of facebook. If I say it is okay to lie about your age because we don't agree with the rule then the same can be said about fake id to get into a club.

 

My ds would love an account. Most of his friends have one. We seriously considered it and in the end decided that if we said it was okay to lie about your age here then we were setting a bad precedent.

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From Facebook:

 

link to page

 

 

Age Restrictions on Facebook

How do I report a child under the age of 13?

Facebook requires individuals to be at least 13 years old before they...

Facebook requires individuals to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account. In some jurisdictions, the age limit may be higher. Providing false information to create an account is always a violation of our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. This includes accounts registered on the behalf of under 13 year old children by older parties. (emphasis added)

 

If your underage child (child under the age of 13) has created an account on Facebook, you can show them how to delete their account by having them log into their account and following this link.

 

If you would like to report an account registered for an underage child to us, please do so here. We will promptly delete the account of any child under the age of 13 that is reported to us through this form.

/help/?faq=16109

 

And again, this is because of the COPPA laws, which do not allow websites to gather information on people under 13. It's a CYA thing for facebook.

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COPPA says that no website can ask children under the age of 13 for any identifying information. It is against the law for them to do so. So, when a child under 13 creates a FB profile, it is against the law for FB to ask for any of their identifying information, including their birthdate. This is why you have to be 13 to have a FB.

 

From http://www.coppa.org/comply.htm :

Personal Information

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act and Rule apply to individually identifiable information about a child that is collected online, such as full name, home address, email address, telephone number or any other information that would allow someone to identify or contact the child. The Act and Rule also cover other types of information -- for example, hobbies, interests and information collected through cookies or other types of tracking mechanisms -- when they are tied to individually identifiable information.

 

This would include many, many, if not all, the things FB gives users the option of providing in their profiles. I suppose the difference between parents talking about their kids online and kids talking about themselves online is that kids don't have the wisdom to withhold information, and parents do...but I really don't know.

 

If I saw a FB profile for a child clearly under the age of 13, I would consider that individual to be lying about their age, whether or not the birthdate was a valid one belonging to another individual. My guess is FB would see it the same way. If I saw a profile with age/information on a person who was in their teens, and their age said they were in their 20s or 30s or 90s, I would consider them to be lying as well. (The second was more common on MySpace than FB, I think, due to the natures of the two sites.)

 

FB is unique in that it is one site where most users do actually use their real, legal names to identify themselves, and put accurate information about themselves. I'm sure it would be just as easy to falsify a profile there as elsewhere, but it seems to happen much less than, say, on a MySpace.

Edited by Hannah C.
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If *I* create the account then *they* didn't create it. Then *they* aren't breaking the rules. Some of the same people who think that is wrong think its ok for parents to let kids use their accounts. Its the same kind of rule bending.

Edited by tofuscramble
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If *I* create the account then *they* didn't create it. Then *they* aren't breaking the rules. Some of the same people who think that is wrong think its ok for parents to let kids use their accounts. Its the same kind of rule bending.

 

 

My child does not use my account. I occasionaly send messages for her, which I type. She has never sat at the computer to use FB. *She has never used FB*. She has never gone into my account. She has never asked for an account, has never shown interest in having an account. She sees it as a tool that her mother uses, and she see it's potential to get messages to her brother who currently has no phone service, but does have wifi: "Can I borrow your guitar?" 'Where is my blue bandana you borrowed?" "Tell your you rold roomie in Asia Happy Birthday from me, too!"

 

If your young children have accounts, that's for you to handle. It doesn't bother me at all.

Edited by LibraryLover
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Nope, because Facebook says they need to be 13. I know, I know, let her fudge a little.....My thought is that teaching your child to lie about their age in order to get something they want is probably not a good idea.

 

I made my daughter wait till 13. She wasn't happy, but she didn't die and she appreciates it more for having had to wait.

 

Just my 2 cents.

J

 

:iagree:

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No.Facebook allows children 13 and up to get an account. I don't think it's good precedent to skirt those kinds of rules.

 

Now would I let my 13 yo have a facebook? I don't know...he hasn't asked so we're not there yet. Although, knowing personally how easy it is to waste too much time on the computer without meaning to and knowing how he also has this proclivity with video games and knowing that once you catch up with all your peeps on fb it's really tempting to play their crazy games. I'd probably say no, just because there are better ways for him to spend his time.

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I am a stickler for rules, but this is a case that I feel parents can allow a child to have access to an account if they(the parents) are willing to take the responsibility of monitoring the child. Can you set up an account in your name for the child's use? Smith Kids, or something like that. Friends, relatives, and child would all know that you are watching. When she is 13 you can make the decision whether or not to set up a separate account.

 

I set one up for my then-11yo so he could chat with me while I was out of town. His only friends were me, his dad, and his brother. He was also allowed to play one game that I approved of. He used it for about 2 months before he broke a rule pertaining to its use (he got on while I was out of town before he had completed his school work), so his password got changed. I told him he might get it back when he was 13 if we felt he could follow our rules then.

 

On his 13th birthday I tried changing his birth date to be accurate, but there are some hurdles to jump through with fb for that. I decided it would be easier to set him up another account (and gmail account) and just abandon the old one. His use is still closely monitored.

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My 11 year olds have one but it's highly monitored by me and I have controls set.

 

This is the same situation with myspace.

 

My son has one. I have the password to his account and email and access it when I like. I have to pre-approve all friends and computer use is in a common area of the house, with permission on our password protected computer.

 

Danielle

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I would not. In fact, I AM not. Have a twelve year old who can tell the tale. ;)

 

(although my 12-yo really could care less. Her friends are mostly local, and we see all of them VERY frequently. They get together and play games online together from time to time, but she doesn't see FB as a "fun" thing to do. She'd rather chat on the phone)

 

I've seen to many parents who were vigilant (in the beginning, for their first child on FB) watching their kids' pages. Now? Notsomuch. Their kids have 300-600 "friends" (I don't even KNOW that many people!). The things *I* see on their kids pages.... well.... not cool. Their moms have no clue. But, they'll still tell me, to my face, how they "monitor" their kids FB accounts.

 

Cracks me right up. :rofl: Noyadon't! I've given them "examples" of things I've seen on kids' facebook pages and the moms gasp in horror, and say how they'd do this-or-that to Little Johnny if HE said/did such things. When - the example I gave them was from their own kid's account. :001_rolleyes:

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No, I would not simply because Facebook's policy is no one under the age of 13. After that, I think my children would handle it fine. They know and follow our internet rules so far, including random checks by me.

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I would go over all the issues with online social networking, like cyberbullying, etc. Your dd may be very responsible, but other teens may not be. Does she really want to deal with that at a tender young age? I had many moments of teen angst, and I didn't grow up in an internet age. I can't imagine the pressures teens face with some of these incidents now broadcast to everyone they know.

 

There was a great NY Times article about Facebook and young teens. Many Jr. Highs & Middle Schools are now recommending that kids avoid it entirely until High School because of all the problems with it.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/28/style/28bully.html

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Cracks me right up. :rofl: Noyadon't! I've given them "examples" of things I've seen on kids' facebook pages and the moms gasp in horror, and say how they'd do this-or-that to Little Johnny if HE said/did such things. When - the example I gave them was from their own kid's account. :001_rolleyes:

 

Of course, this is horrible. Facebook is like everything else. You have to be wise. I am on Facebook every single day. It's how I communicate with my oldest who lives in Chicago. I am friends with all my children. If they posted something aweful, I would see it within hours. So, in my case, this couldn't happen to me. Facebook is not the bad or good. The way one uses it can be horrible or as in our family, wonderful!

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Of course, this is horrible. Facebook is like everything else. You have to be wise. I am on Facebook every single day. It's how I communicate with my oldest who lives in Chicago. I am friends with all my children. If they posted something aweful, I would see it within hours. So, in my case, this couldn't happen to me. Facebook is not the bad or good. The way one uses it can be horrible or as in our family, wonderful!

 

 

Yes, people fear newer technology. I agree that sometimes people share far too much on line. It's not always safe or appropriate. Kids need to learn that. older kids need to understand that this new technology can be damaging, so don't put yourself in a sitation that has you downing vodka and taking off your bikini top. Everyone will have a camera phone. Of course, too, anyone with Photoshop can make things up. You could lock yourself in a closet for the rest of your life, but it's probably better not to.

 

People need to know they can delete anything they wish to from their own walls, and can block anyone. If they know someone who posts things that upset them (even if they are not personal), that persons' updates can be blocked as well. They won't know unless you tell them. When you see clear violations on FB, flag and report them. FB book is a communty, too. A huge and sprawling one, yes, but a community nonetheless. Keeping an eye on each other, and reporting serious violations is part of our repsonsibility as members.

Edited by LibraryLover
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Of course, this is horrible. Facebook is like everything else. You have to be wise. I am on Facebook every single day. It's how I communicate with my oldest who lives in Chicago. I am friends with all my children. If they posted something aweful, I would see it within hours. So, in my case, this couldn't happen to me. Facebook is not the bad or good. The way one uses it can be horrible or as in our family, wonderful!

 

 

I totally agree, actually. If the parents are as diligent as they say they are - Facebook can be a fun thing!

 

Parents have told me they have their child's settings all set to private - but I can click on their kid's name and see pictures, their information page, and sometimes even, their wall! I can read what they've written, what their friends have written.... and the parents swear it's not possible. I don't get it! They've told me they have to "approve" Little Johnny's Friend List, but when L.J. has 643 friends... I just don't know! These moms are on Facebook - all.the.time. (judging by their status updates, lol) - but a lot of their FB'ing is done over the iPhone, so maybe they can't "see" everything the same on iPhone as they can on the computer. :confused:

 

My girl won't have FB for a long time, because I know ME. The novelty of babysitting her FB page would wear off in about 5 minutes. So... no FB page for her for a long while yet. If it were something "important" for our family or something that I seriously thought would benefit her in some way, the "importance" of monitoring her page would go up in my book and I'd do it.

 

But, in our family, it's just not a thing that's important enough to be bothered with. So, we don't. :) It's not an anti-technology thing in any way. We love technology over here! FB for the kiddies just doesn't qualify as necessary "technology" around here. :D

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Then they don't understand the settings. They may have it set so that friends of friends can see everything. Make sure people have to ask permission tag your photos (if you post photos). Say no to people. Or ignore the requests.

 

OTOH, it's a newtwork; and the world is a much smaller place now. Don't post embarassing private information, practice not saying mean things to people, block people who say mean things to you, delete their comments. Don't post the dates and times when your house will be empty. Don't post pictures of yourself naked. Report pictures of naked people (but let the babies enjoy their tubby times). Don't use your mother's maiden name or your birthday as a password. Networking apps are here to stay; encourage and teach your children to use the technology wisely. I do think the more mature a child is when they do get a FB account, the easier it will be for her to understand all of the issues/downsides that can come with such a world-shrinking app such as FB or other networking sites, now and in the future. I

 

Yk, in the old days of phones, there were things called "party lines' and there was plenty of eaves-dropping going on...lots of gossip that one might not want to hear...and lots of people parked on a stool all day with the phone to the ear, trying to listen in. ;)

 

I don't babysit my teens FB accounts. I don't know their passwords. I would never read their private mail. There comes a point where you need to let go--- trying to control every aspect of their lives, giving them no privacy, is going to back- fire and send them inward, perhaps towards peer-dependancy, and away from parents.

 

I'm friends with them on FB, and that's plenty enough. I can tell if my kids are upset. I know my kids, they talk to us, we would notice changes in their behavior that might need to be addressed. Their using FB doesn't change any of that, or the respectful relationships we have cultivated over the years as a family. (My kids are 21, almost 18, 16,) .

 

 

I totally agree, actually. If the parents are as diligent as they say they are - Facebook can be a fun thing!

 

Parents have told me they have their child's settings all set to private - but I can click on their kid's name and see pictures, their information page, and sometimes even, their wall! I can read what they've written, what their friends have written.... and the parents swear it's not possible. I don't get it! They've told me they have to "approve" Little Johnny's Friend List, but when L.J. has 643 friends... I just don't know! These moms are on Facebook - all.the.time. (judging by their status updates, lol) - but a lot of their FB'ing is done over the iPhone, so maybe they can't "see" everything the same on iPhone as they can on the computer. :confused:

 

My girl won't have FB for a long time, because I know ME. The novelty of babysitting her FB page would wear off in about 5 minutes. So... no FB page for her for a long while yet. If it were something "important" for our family or something that I seriously thought would benefit her in some way, the "importance" of monitoring her page would go up in my book and I'd do it.

 

But, in our family, it's just not a thing that's important enough to be bothered with. So, we don't. :) It's not an anti-technology thing in any way. We love technology over here! FB for the kiddies just doesn't qualify as necessary "technology" around here. :D

Edited by LibraryLover
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We decided to go ahead and let him get his fb account now (last Friday) so he can get the newness worn off before we start school in the fall. He's the type of kid who waits and dreams and over-romanticizes things (not just fb, but EVERYTHING) to the point that he's obsessive with it at first for a few days, then the newness dies off and he's back to his regular ole self.

 

The newness of the fb wore off quicker than I thought it would. He's already self-monitoring himself pretty well with the amount of time he's on there.

 

I don't have fb anymore, so I'm not his friend, but I do have his password and check it regularly.

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