Woohoo! First post-PDD-NOS

[Spellbound]

Look at me! Finally stopped scanning posts multiple times a day and am actually participating! I started homeschooling DS in March after multiple bad years in public school. Diagnosed with PDD-NOS based on teacher eval and is now WAITING(6-9 months) for eval at autism center at local U. I can't put my thumb on whether he has a diagnosis or not. I've been watching him closely and he does so well in one on one situations or in small groups that I was wondering if we needed the eval. Then yesterday he was in a large group activity (like school) and it was SO obvious. Woops. Some of his difficulties are also sensory and gifted related. Does anyone have any ideas on whether PDD can only show up in large groups? I'm so glad to be here! :001_smile:

[AspieMel]

It's a broad spectrum and you'll find that there are MANY degrees of severity. My oldest does "ok" one on one or just a few friends, but he can't handle large groups either, unless it's VERY structured. My middle boy is a social charmer and loves EVERYone.. (not always a good thing!) I myself have Aspergers and I have a hard time in the social scene. I have bouts where I'm very easy to talk to, and times when I'd rather hide. I lurked here on this board for about 2 months :D Sometimes larger groups can be very sensory invading... noise, close contact with others, visually hard to keep an eye on everyone.. Some acutally thrive on that stimulation.. It's really very varying.. And "welcome" to the board, from another newbie ;)

[Spellbound]

Thank you for the for the information! I find it somewhat difficult to get his take on what's going on, because he doesn't always know or he feels so awkward that he gets defensive. We haven't really gotten to the point where we are working with any professionals yet, so we're kind of winging it at this point. Not only am I learning about Asperger's, but I'm trying to figure out how to teach reading, writing and arithmetic:tongue_smilie:.

[Guest]

Tony Attwood says that the way to make Asperger's disappear is to put a child in her room and shut the door. :D

 

I think that is similar to what you're observing. My daughter (Aspie) does extremely well one-on-one; in fact she seems older and much more mature than her age, very sensitive, helpful, etc. She can do well in groups of six or so, after a bit of warming-up time. But put her in a bigger group... that's when the differences become glaringly obvious -- particularly now that she is middle school age, the Age of Great Conformity.

[Spellbound]

I find that he can be coached fairly well for small groups by prepping him. I guess I've been doing that for awhile now. The differences where just so glaring in the large group. Do you continue to coach them or do you just try and limit things to small groups? And yes, he's getting to the age of conformity. Yucky. Our small homeschooling boys group, 6 of them, doesn't seem to doing the conforming thing, yet even though at 9, he's the youngest. They are their own little group :grouphug:

[MamaSheep]

Three things:

 

1 - Welcome! Glad you stopped scanning and jumped on in!

 

2 - How old is your son? (ETA - Nevermind, I see that you posted this while I was typing. :) )

 

3 - My son's Aspie behaviors DEFINITELY come out much more in a large group situation. One-on-one, especially with grown-ups, he seems very "normal"--a little eccentric, and a bit precocious, but really very "normal". With kids, his anxiety level goes up a little, but still one-on-one he does very, very well. It's a little bit more apparent in a small group, as he still has a bit of a hard time knowing when and how to join and leave conversations in a group, but he's starting to catch on pretty well. Dump him in a big group, though, and he panics, and it's not hard to see that the "autism spectrum" label is not incorrect. Other situations that he perceives as high pressure have the same result, though, even if there aren't a lot of people there. But then, I think we all perform better when we're not stressed out. He's made a lot of progress to get to this point and I'm really proud of him. But yes, I would definitely say that it's possible for certain symptoms to only show up in a crowd. It's that they don't exist the rest of the time, though, I think it's just that it's easier to use one's coping skills and behave within socially expected parameters when you're calm and feel safe.

[Guest]

I kept my daughter in small-group situations -- still do; she's fourteen. For years she was very happy in a homeschool co-op type situation where there were six kids in her grade, a group of about twenty for field trips and recess. She was quite reserved for the first year, but after that she loved it and thrived until it sort of fell apart a year ago. But by 7th grade, even though she still was happy and even though there were no cliques (too small a group), the girls began to switch "best" friends every week, there were shifting alliances based on opposite-sex attractions, and the kids turned more to "hanging" and chatting rather than playing games. She found that change quite difficult.

 

At the moment she is doing brilliantly well in a new, small social circle she has found through horseback riding. The girls, of different ages, are brought together by a common interest. When they're together they're working, riding, doing something together, talking about horses... the typical social scenario of school settings is totally absent. Plus she works with adults, littler kids (helping out), etc. It's a fantasically supportive environment. Although some of the teenaged girls do a lot of texting, giggling, and sleepovers, we happen to have hit upon a very nice group. It's such a huge relief.

 

Many books about kids on the spectrum suggest trying to find various interest-based small groups to help the kids with social skills in a supportive environment. Some scouts groups are wonderfully inclusive; others are not (our leader was clueless). Our local drama groups for kids all have teachers with training in inclusion techniques (which work wonderfully in some classes, not as well in others, so it's worthwhile asking around about various teachers). He might enjoy a robotics group if he likes Legos and building. You might find summer camps specifically for kids on the spectrum -- day camps, three hours or so, in which they do things like go bowling, to the movies, to get ice cream, etc. while receiving training in the skills necessary to get along as a group. Our city has several of these special groups as well as various social skills groups that meet weekly during the year.

 

Your son is still in that upper-elementary age bracket where kids are still generally pretty accepting, so it's a good time to get started on some social skills training before he hits the middle school years. These are just plain hard for ordinary kids; they can be sheer hell for ASD kids in school. These are good years to keep him in the small group environment where he can manage without too much stress, learn some coping behaviors, and feel relaxed and safe at home so he can keep learning in ways that best suit him.