Would you/have you homeschooled someone else's child for money?

[Guest Robinson School for Girls]

Hi,

 

I used to lurk on the old boards as Becky in Chicago but I have been away for a long time.

 

I was hoping I could get input. TIA for any replies.

 

I am currently hsing my dd 6 - 1st grade and starting to do more with my younger dd 4. I met a mother at our local park district who is unhappy with ps options for K for her dd 5. I am not sure what possessed me but I started a series of discussions with her about hsing. She works from home and feels that she cannot hs dd but seems very interested in her daughter joining up with me. We have not talked any specifics about $$ but only some about schedules -- she doesn't need or want her daughter to be gone all day.

 

My 4 yo dd is plenty ready for K activites and in many ways on the same level as the 5 yo I am considering schooling.

 

What do you think? What would be an appropriate amount of money to ask for? Will this work?

 

As I said, I would treatly appreciate any input.

 

Thanks!

[tuckabella]

I would see how your kids and the other girl interact together. What is the other girl's learning style?

[Shannon in MO]

although in MO you can't get pd for it, which I didn't. It was only 1 day/wk & she brough a lot of her stuff w/ her. She was w/ her grandma the other days...they girls got along ok, but generally my dd was ready for her to go home by the end of the day & they no longer speak to each other!

Shannon

[WTMindy]

I might, depending on the right circumstances. But, I would be VERY clear with the mom about what my expectations were and what her expectations were. I would also set a trial period to see if it is working so that you have a way out if it doesn't work.

 

I probably wouldn't do it unless the perfect circumstances lined up because it would be difficult.

[Peela]

I did it for over a year, with a 12yo boy.

We ended up stopping after a strong clash with the mother over expectations. She basically considered me a school and opted out of all responsibility. However when I asked her son to finish the last 25 pages of Treasure Island during the holidays, and checked a couple of times to see if he was, she told me I was being too harsh on him, because he just didn't want to. He was a reluctant reader and he was playing his mother against me. So, I dropped him like a hot cake, for which she later was truly sorry, but it was too late by then.

I did find it a lot of extra work, which I didn't expect since he was the same age as my daughter. And I didn't find him very open, although he was outwardly compliant, he would undermine me to my kids when I wasn't in the room. He has since gone on to be fairly delinquent, and we have banned him from seeing our kids.

So, it did work ok for quite a while and it certainly would have been to his advantage to stay, however, taking on another family's issues, including their parenting style and values, by having their child in your home, can bring up more issues than you would think.

[Ohio12]

Are you still in Chicago? My sister is there homeschooling her 5 yo dd. What part of the city?

[Ohio12]

I already replied, but also, I would say that if you do this, things shouldn't be "negotiable" You should get to choose the curriculum and activities and the other family has to support your efforts. Have that conversation up front.

[gardenschooler]

I wouldn't. Having another child around that much changes the dynamic. I used to keep my niece full time, when my girls were very young. I kept her after school and all day when school was out, for years. I realized one day that my oldest no longer had the place of the oldest in the family - my niece did. Not to mention behavior problems, squabbles, and tattling were greatly amplified.

 

Any time you introduce a different kid into the mix, everything changes. The pecking order gets re-established, and that can mean that one child gets displaced (especially in a group of three girls!)

 

It's not the same kind of relaxed homeschool you'd have with just your own. You're meeting someone else's goals during your homeschool time, no longer just your own. And at that age, they need so much 1-on-1 in terms of school. It would take 1/3 of you away from yours.

 

There are more reasons why I wouldn't, but the main one in your situation is that you don't even know this lady. You have no idea what her expectations are, how you'll deal with differences there, etc.

 

I also couldn't homeschool another child because a lot of what we do at night and on the weekends is important to our schooling. Reading, movies, outings, and just conversations. You also don't know if you're being handed a child who stayed up too late, isn't eating well, has too much screen time, or any of the other factors that can influence their ability to learn. It really is a lifestyle, not something you just do during the day. Since this mom has never homeschooled, is she aware of that? Does she realize how much she herself would have to put in to make it really work?

 

Unless the parent were doing some of the schooling and would be pretty involved with the child at home, not expecting me to do 100% of the schooling when I only have the child part time, I wouldn't think it would work at all. It would also be helpful if you two were close on certain issues in regards to bringing up children.

 

Then you have other problems like paying for the child when you go somewhere, and negotiating that with her mom. Her temperament will have to come into play in virtually everything you do. I've babysat some kids who couldn't stand doing this or going here, and it just made things difficult - hard to keep everyone happy.

 

I think that unless it's run like a school, with contracts and clear expectations, it could potentially have lots of problems. And you would sort of have to homeschool your dds in more of a 'one room schoolhouse' kind of way, vs. just schooling w/mom. It just takes all the coziness out of it, for me.

 

Think about it long and hard, talk to your dh and your girls, give them lots and LOTS of time to interact with each other at your house without the mom there. You might try having this little girl over every day in the summer, and see how it works out. Just a few times a week or just for a month won't give you a clear picture - schedule it how it will be during the school year. Go ahead and try to do some schoolwork with all of them, and see if it suits you.

 

And get to know the mom much better if you're considering this. You both will need to have very clear expectations of one another, and she would need a back up plan in case it doesn't work out for either one of you.

[amy g.]

It was very hard work, but I'm happy I did it, because I gave him a strong foundation that he would not have had otherwise.

 

I never made any money, because I spent everything his mom paid me on books and special classes for him.

 

I was resentful that his mother would not do ANY learning activities at home, not even reading out loud together. When he was home, it was unlimited cable TV and video games all of the time.

 

I would do it again, but I would only do it knowing that I'd be on my own, and not expect collaboration.

[Mrs Mungo]

One other point of consideration that I haven't seen mentioned (but I just skimmed the other posts, please forgive if someone has mentioned it) is that it's not always legal to homeschool someone else's child. You often must be a certified teacher to serve as a private tutor to someone else's child.

[Kelli in TN]

I do it for free. In fact not only do I do it for free, I am even supplying the materials.

 

It is hard. Very hard. Harder than hard.

 

If I ever found myself in this situation again I would do it again in a heartbeat.

[Susan A.]

I'm doing it this year for the first time. I double checked that it was legal with HSLDA and my state. It is as long as I am a tutor and the parents are the official teachers it is legal. The moms and I discussed curriculum and goals, they bring their own supplies for their own kids, and I give them report cards every 6 weeks. I do one child for free (he has some learning problems and I was not sure how successful I would be - this left us both free to back out at any time - he just comes once a week now.) The other child pays a small amount that basically covers lunches for everyone. That's OK - I didn't even ask for money, they just wanted to do it. It did change the dynamic of our homeschool, but it has been a positive experience for all of us. I would do it again.

[gardenschooler]

I do it for free. In fact not only do I do it for free, I am even supplying the materials.

 

It is hard. Very hard. Harder than hard.

 

If I ever found myself in this situation again I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

Yeah, but.....yours is 17, right? It's what she's willing to put into it. You're not having to deal with the parents on all of the tiny issues that would come with a 5 yr. old (although I know you've mentioned scheduling as something you've had to talk to the mom about, and gosh, I wish they'd pay for some of the books!)

 

Also, wasn't this sort of a last chance for her? Either she gets a high school education working with you, or she just won't get one, period?

 

I just think this is worlds apart from the idea of homeschooling someone else's 5 yr. old, that the OP just met.

[Colleen]

I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to school someone else child's alongside my own; no amount of money would inspire me to do so. I would be particularly wary of entering that scenario were I in your shoes. Your young children are at a time in life wherein they need your focused attention; adding one more young child to the mix would, I think, be stressful to say the least. Come to think of it, I find it very strange that this woman would be comfortable having you school her child given you're a new acquaintance who is only in the early stages of this journey.

[Mama Lynx]

Hi,

 

I used to lurk on the old boards as Becky in Chicago but I have been away for a long time.

 

I was hoping I could get input. TIA for any replies.

 

I am currently hsing my dd 6 - 1st grade and starting to do more with my younger dd 4. I met a mother at our local park district who is unhappy with ps options for K for her dd 5. I am not sure what possessed me but I started a series of discussions with her about hsing. She works from home and feels that she cannot hs dd but seems very interested in her daughter joining up with me. We have not talked any specifics about $$ but only some about schedules -- she doesn't need or want her daughter to be gone all day.

 

My 4 yo dd is plenty ready for K activites and in many ways on the same level as the 5 yo I am considering schooling.

 

What do you think? What would be an appropriate amount of money to ask for? Will this work?

 

As I said, I would treatly appreciate any input.

 

Thanks!

 

Absolutely this can work. And yes, it is something I would do, assuming I felt that I could handle it on top of my current duties.

 

I would be very, very, very upfront with the other mom about educational styles, expectations, etc. Make sure she understands that you've never done this before, and if you find that it adds too much stress/pressure/work for you, you will regretfully have to stop. Having another child present does change the entire dynamic, and you might find that it just won't work. Be okay with that. Don't allow yourself to get into a situation where you feel obligated to continue.

 

Have a clear line of communication with the mother. How will she feel if her daughter is not performing academically where she thinks she should? What kind of education does she want for her daughter? How flexible is she willing to be? What are her goals? How involved is she willing to be? Will she back you up in your expectations of her daughter? What if you are sick, or have a bad day with your own kids?

[Copswife]

We are fostering and I can tell you that when you bring in another child that is the same age or older than yours, it does change things.

 

gardenschooler is absolutely right. I am right now, going out of my mind due to the situation we are in. Of course, we get no breaks as the kids we have are here 24/7.

 

I can not wait to get back to where its just my kids. We are adopting the two year old baby we've had since birth. But, I think we are done fostering.

 

I am not perfect or super woman. My 5 kids are a full time job in itself and I need to get back to focusing on them. I'm sure there are ladies on here that can handle it. I wouldn't do it, though.

 

Tracie

I wouldn't. Having another child around that much changes the dynamic. I used to keep my niece full time, when my girls were very young. I kept her after school and all day when school was out, for years. I realized one day that my oldest no longer had the place of the oldest in the family - my niece did. Not to mention behavior problems, squabbles, and tattling were greatly amplified.

 

Any time you introduce a different kid into the mix, everything changes. The pecking order gets re-established, and that can mean that one child gets displaced (especially in a group of three girls!)

[Kelli in TN]

Yeah, but.....yours is 17, right? It's what she's willing to put into it. You're not having to deal with the parents on all of the tiny issues that would come with a 5 yr. old (although I know you've mentioned scheduling as something you've had to talk to the mom about, and gosh, I wish they'd pay for some of the books!)

 

Also, wasn't this sort of a last chance for her? Either she gets a high school education working with you, or she just won't get one, period?

 

I just think this is worlds apart from the idea of homeschooling someone else's 5 yr. old, that the OP just met.

 

 

Yes, you are right. It is different in many ways.

[Joanne]

I wouldn't. Having another child around that much changes the dynamic. I used to keep my niece full time, when my girls were very young. I kept her after school and all day when school was out, for years. I realized one day that my oldest no longer had the place of the oldest in the family - my niece did. Not to mention behavior problems, squabbles, and tattling were greatly amplified.

 

Any time you introduce a different kid into the mix, everything changes. The pecking order gets re-established, and that can mean that one child gets displaced (especially in a group of three girls!)

 

It's not the same kind of relaxed homeschool you'd have with just your own. You're meeting someone else's goals during your homeschool time, no longer just your own. And at that age, they need so much 1-on-1 in terms of school. It would take 1/3 of you away from yours.

 

I admit I am feeling defensive. But some situations, schooling others is the only way that some of us can continue to homeschool our own. Not everyone has the more flexible, organic, cozy and non institutional setting as you are able to enjoy.

 

 

There are more reasons why I wouldn't, but the main one in your situation is that you don't even know this lady. You have no idea what her expectations are, how you'll deal with differences there, etc.

 

This I agree with.

[Willow]

If tutoring others is the only way you can HS then go ahead...but its a job.

 

It takes time from your own kids, you are accountable to others, and on a really bad day you cannot all cuddle in front of a fire with a good book, and forget all about school.

 

For me the worst thing was the feeling of being tied. We almost never throw over the traces and abandon school for the day...but know we can, at any time! ;)

[Excelsior! Academy]

I have. We did do our research and follow the law in our state. We just had to keep it under a certain # of hours a week. So I did it 4 days a week and just gave the 5th day of work to be completed at home.

 

If you do choose this route consider the following things.

1. This is a business agreement. It must be considered as income and filed on your tax return.

2. Make them sign a contract, renewing each year.

3. Follow your set guidelines for collecting $, overtime, and missed days. We actually had a problem where the girl I homeschooled would miss or show up hours late and they would expect me to hold up my dd who was at the same level and books for her. I did at first, then I decided that this was a school. If her dd missed she got her make-up work just like a school and we continued as planned. (As a side note, now that I have been hs longer I understand better how to let each child work at their own pace.)

4. Factor in price to feed meals and snacks and to purchase books.

5. Re-evaluate each year. Unexpected things can happen and circumstances can change!

 

Would I do it again? Probably not. It took time away from my kiddos. I have had several people ask me since then, though. I do have a friend that homeschools 12 (this does include her own) and it works very well for them. She used to be a public school teacher and manages her time very well. It would not work well for me or my method of teaching.

[ThelmaLou]

No. My SIL jokingly (but kinda not) said they should pay me to homeschool my niece. I feel like I'm already spread so thin with my own kids and household tasks. I'd love the extra money, but can't justify the time it would take away from my own family. She has some special learning needs, too, which I think would require even more input.

 

It might be different if she had been schooling with us from Day 1, but her ability to slide into our routine and my expectations (having been in school all her life) would probably make for a bumpy ride.

 

My kids do a lot of work independently (while I take care of ds 18 mo.) I don't think my niece would be able to work on her own. I also don't think my brother would approve of how loosey-goosey our schedule can be at times. Don't get me wrong. We're very rigorous and disciplined around here, but at any given moment is someone were to walk in on me, there's no guarantee what they'd find us doing, or whether it would have anything to do with school. I would feel obligated to make my day look more like a conventional school day for her sake, and I'm not up for that task.

[gardenschooler]

I admit I am feeling defensive. But some situations, schooling others is the only way that some of us can continue to homeschool our own.

 

 

Joanne, it works for you. That's great. It would never work for me, for the reasons I listed. It simply wouldn't suit my personality, and it would prevent me from homeschooling the way I want to. I'd seek another kind of employment if I had to bring in an income. Combining the two works for you for different reasons. I think it would be helpful to the OP to hear those from you, so she can see different perspectives.

[Peela]

Another point I someone else brought up but that I would like to emphasise is that when I homeschooled another child, it did make me realise how much of homeschooling is organic now to our lifestlye, and not limited to school hours. Even though we have a very structured homeschool day, our evening read alouds and sometimes weekend and social activities were often related to our homeschooling topics.In fact I resented that I couldnt have our evening read aloud a "school" book as I had done in the past.

The boy also didnt make friends with other homeschoolers easily, and his mother was not interested in going out of her way to foster friendships...I put a lot of work into nourishing friendships between my kids and other homeschoolers, and that often involves weekend visits, sleepovers, that sort of thing, which this boy I was homeschooling could not be part of very often, as our deal was pretty much limited to school hours. So in that respect it wasn't so easy for him and it never felt 100% comfortable. Also, people who wanted to be friends with my kids didn't always want to be friends with him, as he was very reserved and my kids are extroverts. So it got a bit difficult when my kids were invited somewhere...people wondered if they felt obligated to invite our guest as well.

Just tricky.

[Guest Robinson School for Girls]

First, Ohio12, I am in Chicago still. I live on the North side of the city, near Evanston. If you like, you can email me... it would be fun to meet your sister. I am an Ohioan at heart. I went to Miami and love all things Ohio especially Graeter's ice cream.

 

You have all given me a lot to think about. I am considering trying out a summer thing, or maybe just offering to help tutor this girl if she ends up going to school somewhere else. I am taking it verrrry slow. No time to expand now, but I will post when I have more time.

 

Thanks again for sharing all your experience everyone!

[frogpond1]

ways many different children. One friend was having terrible seizures and had to put her children in ps. I offered to take them out and help a few days a week. It is always work, but so is homeschooling your own. Now I teach 2 days a week- 21 other children including 3 of mine. If you know what you want and lay it out and remember that a certain amount of parenting will be required too- it can be a great thing. I always consider it a ministry and it really doesn't pay much at all, but it did buy my books.