How open are you when it comes to hs'ing stuff?

[plain jane]

I'm curious how other people are when talking to other homeschoolers about what curricula you use.

 

I am generally an open book. I love talking about homeschooling and helping others find great stuff for their families. I will tell anybody who asks (not just anyone ;)) what we use and where the best places are to find deals. If I hear of a sale from a curriculum seller or good deal on school related items, I will let my friends know so they can get in on it too. I mention new products that I hear of from emails or from these (and other) boards. I'm not in their face about it or anything, I forward the emails or catch them on IM Chat.

 

In turn, I am blessed to have several friends who are the same way and I've learned about some really awesome things through them. BUT, I have three friends who are very guarded and secretive. They never want to share with me what they are using. We'll be sitting having coffee and I'll ask what they're doing for LA and I get stifled responses. I've asked one of them (who I've known since they started hs'ing) if they'd found anything new that they loved and was told no. When I went to their house, it was clear she had some cool stuff that they really enjoyed. *shrug* These same people also only tell me about sales after they've bought their stuff and the sale is over. :tongue_smilie: Of course, they sometimes ask me for recommendations or about things I am using and I'm starting to feel, well, more reserved in my wanting to share things with them. I know, it's probably a terrible reaction but I feel like things are so one-sided.

 

One of them in particular, I know is VERY competitive. She's been that way all through grade school and college and has a very strong drive to be the best at everything. I'm wondering if that's where part of her reservations to share curricula and ideas come from? :001_huh:

 

I'm curious if I'm weird for sharing so much. Where do you stand?

 

ETA: I should be more clear. My question is more concerning talking about what you use or have purchased- because we all know those two aren't always directly related.;) For example, if you absolutely love something like, LoF or MCT that isn't known in the circles of people you know, do you openly share that you've heard of this really neat program.... or do you keep your mouth shut? Same thing if there's a fantastic sale... do you mention it?

 

I understand not talking much about *how* you homeschool or how much you do unless you're very comfortable with someone and I very rarely talk about what our days look like unless really prompted to.

__________________

Edited June 3, 2010 by plain jane

[MamaT]

I'm very open and love to share with others about what we use and love in our homeschool. I just had a friend ask me if she could share plans I have made for history/lit for my dd next year. She is just not good at putting something together herself and wanted to use my schedule. I gladly shared them with her.

 

I think your friends who are so guarded sound like very small people.

[Just Robyn]

I will happily tell anyone who wants to know (and maybe some people who don't care) what we're using and I love to hear what other people are doing. When you spend most of your time homeschooling, there's often not a lot else to talk about, unless you want to talk about household cleaners etc.

[Melanie]

I used to be very open, but learned to be more guarded after a few years of being criticized for my "unreasonable expectations."

[patchfire]

I used to be very open, but learned to be more guarded after a few years of being criticized for my "unreasonable expectations."

 

This. IRL, I share about 80%, whether that be 80% of our curricula or 80% of what we accomplish in a given amount of time. I was sharing about 95% on my blog in my weekly reports, but I was starting to feel uncomfortable with that near the end of this school year, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do when we start 2010-2011.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

I am open about what I use. When you walk into my home you can see what I use on the bookshelf next to my dining room table.

[angela in ohio]

I am very willing to share about different curriculum. I don't mind spending time doing it, as other homeschoolers shared (and share) with me.

 

I am guarded about what my dd are doing specifically, as I am afraid of people's reactions. If someone is truly struggling, I will share enough to help them.

[PrincessAriel]

In general I am very open, but my kids have learning differences and tend to be behind other kids their age. Sometimes others judge because of that or get a real superior attitude as to how advanced their kids are. There is that expectation out there that all homeschoolers are so advanced and taking college classed in high school, etc. Not some of my kids...this has been difficult at times for both my kids and myself.

[lionfamily1999]

I'm open when asked, but (like the pp said) I'm also tired of getting fussed at for doing too much.

 

Maybe she's been burned before?

[plain jane]

I'm open when asked, but (like the pp said) I'm also tired of getting fussed at for doing too much.

 

Maybe she's been burned before?

 

I don't think so. She enjoys being told she's doing more than others. ;)

 

I am the same way as some of the PP regarding sharing how much we do. I understand being guarded in that regard.

 

My question was more just concerning talking about what you use or have purchased- because we all know those two aren't always directly related. ;) For example, if you absolutely love something like, LoF or MCT ;) that isn't known in the circles of people you know, do you openly share that you've heard of this really neat program.... or do you keep your mouth shut?

[melissel]

I'm wide open with anyone who asks, but I can see what others are saying about being burned. I'm definitely the most rigorous HSer in my immediate circle, and since all the kids are little, no one really cares, but I could see it being the cause of some kind of friction later on. I would hope that it never is, but could see how it could happen unexpectedly.

 

I'd be annoyed about not being told about the sales though! I always want to know about a good sale :lol:

[Belacqua]

I practically accost people on the street to tell them about Art of Problem Solving. Beyond that, though, I haven't said much because nobody's really asked.

[lionfamily1999]

I don't think so. She enjoys being told she's doing more than others. ;)

 

I am the same way as some of the PP regarding sharing how much we do. I understand being guarded in that regard.

 

My question was more just concerning talking about what you use or have purchased- because we all know those two aren't always directly related. ;) For example, if you absolutely love something like, LoF or MCT ;) that isn't known in the circles of people you know, do you openly share that you've heard of this really neat program.... or do you keep your mouth shut?

I talk if asked :p I do mention great sales and there are times when I wish I knew more hsers so I could rave about companies that surprise me (Singapore emailed me, because I ordered two workbooks and they wanted to be sure I wanted two. I didn't. They changed my order without a fuss :D).

 

The sales would bug me too.

 

If I were you, I'm not sure how much I'd WANT to chat with these people. And, if a good sale comes along and they don't feel like sharing..... maybe I'd forget to mention it.

[JudoMom]

ETA: I should be more clear. My question is more concerning talking about what you use or have purchased- because we all know those two aren't always directly related.;) For example, if you absolutely love something like, LoF or MCT that isn't known in the circles of people you know, do you openly share that you've heard of this really neat program.... or do you keep your mouth shut? Same thing if there's a fantastic sale... do you mention it?

 

 

I'll keep it short. Yes :lol:.

[plain jane]

I talk if asked :p I do mention great sales and there are times when I wish I knew more hsers so I could rave about companies that surprise me (Singapore emailed me, because I ordered two workbooks and they wanted to be sure I wanted two. I didn't. They changed my order without a fuss :D).

 

The sales would bug me too.

 

If I were you, I'm not sure how much I'd WANT to chat with these people. And, if a good sale comes along and they don't feel like sharing..... maybe I'd forget to mention it.

 

That's really awesome Singapore did that!! I accidentally ordered 2 of the same book from amazon last month. :glare: I think I have to pay for return shipping because it was my mistake so I'm going to chalk it up to a life lesson learned on the drawbacks of shopping online when I should be sleeping. Thankfully it was only a $10 board book that I will in turn gift to the next friend who has a baby.

[Mynyel]

I am very open about any program I have used or even heard about. I love talking curriculum, I am always looking for fun good ways to teach the kids so I am always looking for stuff :D. Which reminds me I need to check out K-8 and perhaps make a post!

[JudoMom]

I practically accost people on the street to tell them about Art of Problem Solving. Beyond that, though, I haven't said much because nobody's really asked.

 

:lol:

 

A acquaintance at church asked me about math (she's planning on homeschooling a few subjects with her kids this coming year) and mentioned she was thinking of reviewing Algebra....I think I scared her with my love for Fred.

[mommabird]

I love home-schooling! So I talk about it when I can - I am an open book. But over the last few years I have learned not to talk about it unless asked or only with other like-minded people.

[prairiegirl]

I am very open about the curriculum we use if I am asked. I love it when people ask me what we are using for the various subjects but I don't bubble about it unless there is an interest.

[plain jane]

:lol:

 

A acquaintance at church asked me about math (she's planning on homeschooling a few subjects with her kids this coming year) and mentioned she was thinking of reviewing Algebra....I think I scared her with my love for Fred.

 

:lol::lol:

 

But did you tell her about Dynamic Literacy? ;) j/k!

[Dmmetler]

I tend to mention curricula, but not levels, unless the person knows my DD and realizes that she's got no single level where she's "on grade level"-it's all either above or below.

[melissel]

Well, if the question's simply about curriculum, then yes, I love to talk about it. If we're at a group event somewhere and I hear people talking about curriculum, my little beeping antenna shoots up :lol: I've been know to walk into conversations and give my humble opinions if I hear that someone is wondering about a specific curriculum or what's available for a certain subject :blush:

 

I will say that, once or twice, I've not told others about sales until I was sure I was able to get the item I wanted first. But I bet you're right, your friend just wants to feel like she has a lock on the best materials so her kids can be the smartest. Whatevs!

[Teachin'Mine]

I love talking about curricula - it's one of my favorite subjects! I also rarely have the opportunity to talk about it other than on the internet. IRL, most home schoolers I know change the subject when I bring it up. I love to share what I've found is good and not so good and to ask the same. Why reinvent the wheel. I wish I had been on this board a few years ago - our schooling would have looked very different.

 

That's really sad that someone wouldn't be willing to help someone else out and share the great stuff they've found. I guess I look at home schooling as more of a team sport than an individual one. :lol: I love to see other home schooling families doing well too. :)

[Jen in PA]

I love to discuss what we use and what we do, but most of the homeschoolers we know IRL are either using cyber schools or unschooling, so not many people ask.

[abbeyej]

Very open. I love to talk hs materials! But I may hedge a bit at first, 'til I know the person and what they're looking for better. With most of my close hs friends though, I'll chatter nonstop and occasionally be downright obnoxious about a new find. ;) But I'm also blessed with some really wonderful, understanding home schooling friends.

[mcconnellboys]

Well, when people ask, I freely tell them what I know about their question. However, I've found very often that they then seem to get mad at me. I'm not sure why this should be. I'm not advocating that anyone use anything at all. They can hear and immediately discard anything I say. I could care less what anyone else does. I'm just providing the info I was asked for. So I'm not sure if they wanted me to give a different answer than I did, and so they get mad because my answer isn't what they want to hear. Or, do they really want everyone to just say, "I don't know," and shrug, so we can all pretend ignorance together? I'm just not sure.

 

Recently, I spoke to someone about this and they said that they think that it comes across like I "know everything" and that makes people mad. Huh? Why ask a question if you don't really want an answer? So I'm feeling very unsure of myself nowdays and trying to keep my info to myself, even when asked, if I haven't known the person a long time......

 

This is very perplexing to me. I've been asking questions all my life. My mom says my first word was "why". I love asking questions and I really want answers when I ask them. I don't ask with some ulterior motive in mind.... It's very alien to me to think that what appears to be a simple question isn't necessarily just a simple question, meant to be answered with a straightforward answer.....

 

I don't expect to have to psychoanalyze what appear to be simple questions about something as unimportant as a book or workbook for Heaven's sake, LOL! I just don't need that type of angst. It's amazing to me that people have so many ulterior motives behind everything they do and say.....

 

Now that you mention it, I guess I can see competitive people being closed-mouth about what they use. I've only ever had someone try to use me regarding curriculum and programming once during my hsing career, so I haven't really run into people like that too much, but I can see that happening....

 

I think I'd find other things to talk about and avoid the topic of curriculum all together with these sorts of folks. And I think I'd demure with general responses if they questioned me about what I do....

[Melanie]

 

My question was more just concerning talking about what you use or have purchased- because we all know those two aren't always directly related. ;) For example, if you absolutely love something like, LoF or MCT ;) that isn't known in the circles of people you know, do you openly share that you've heard of this really neat program.... or do you keep your mouth shut?

 

Oh! Well, that's a little different. :) I would share that information if asked.

[JudoMom]

:lol::lol:

 

But did you tell her about Dynamic Literacy? ;) j/k!

 

:lol: Have you ordered it yet? I love it! :lol:

[Rosy]

I have a lot of friends who use A Beka or Sonlight because they're overwhelmed by all the curricula out there and get kind of embarrassed/uncomfortable when curriculum discussions are happening, so I won't usually initiate a conversation unless I know the person is as addicted as I am. :)

[HRAAB]

The only times I've been hesitant to share what curriculum we were using is when I used a 'boxed curriculum' and the time I enrolled two of my girls in a virtual charter school. Those two choices seem to sometimes garner negative responses.

[plain jane]

:lol: Have you ordered it yet? I love it! :lol:

 

:lol: I called the company about it and the sale is on until August so I'm saving it as one of my last purchases since I don't need to spend the money right away. Good thing too, it's going in many other directions right now. ;)

[dragons in the flower bed]

I used to be very open, but learned to be more guarded after a few years of being criticized for my "unreasonable expectations."

 

There's that among non-homeschoolers. Among homeschoolers, I grow more and more uncomfortable with sharing, feeling I'm being judged by my curriculum choices.

 

You can share what you think a person will like without sharing what you think of that program.

[Snickerdoodle]

I used to be very open, but learned to be more guarded after a few years of being criticized for my "unreasonable expectations."

Yep.

 

 

I would love it if a few forum members here would invite me for coffee so I could peruse their curriculum cabinets. :D

[Rosie_0801]

I babble on about everything and anything and show the stuff I've collected. We're only a playgroup level and there are other mums who have farms so can't spend the amount of time I have over the last four years mooching about online. Then there's a few other mums who've pulled their older kids from primary school and are making it all up as they go along. They don't have the time to ponder, because they need to be doing it already. If we don't share our research, those mums won't hear about the stuff. And we don't have curriculum fairs so we can preview stuff so the more we can "show and tell" the better. I guess as the kids grow and everyone finds their groove, there'll be less chat.

 

Rosie

[Sebastian (a lady)]

In general I am very open, but my kids have learning differences and tend to be behind other kids their age. Sometimes others judge because of that or get a real superior attitude as to how advanced their kids are. There is that expectation out there that all homeschoolers are so advanced and taking college classed in high school, etc. Not some of my kids...this has been difficult at times for both my kids and myself.

 

Two of my kids were very early readers. They are both good at math and remembering what they read.

 

I find that I sometimes hold back on naming the levels that they are working on because they are in 5th and 6th grade doing the same math book as the freshmen of some of my friends. I don't think that my kids are superior to theirs. They are totally different people. But I don't want my curriculum choices to come off as snooty or condescending. *

 

I'm also a little reserved because we have a solid income in the upper level of our military community (we've been in for a long time, especially compared to some of the younger families). And because we've been posted overseas, we've seen some incredible stuff. If I know that someone isn't going to get self conscious, then I love to chat. But not if I think that I'm going to make them feel bad about the books they are using.

 

*The irony, btw, is that my third kid is a nice, sweet and smart kid who is just now coming to read at his grade level. It's been a long slog with him.

[kalanamak]

These are the same people who won't share a recipe. I feel sorry for them.

[Ester Maria]

I'm extremely open regarding what I use - I tell you right away that 80% of the stuff is my own mishmash from ALL kinds of sources, and that you just won't find it because, well, *I* put it together. :D

 

I should publish it all one day, "syllabi" for the subjects, texts I used, for the world to see what a chaos that actually is. :lol: But a chaos with a method. ;)

[Peela]

I used to be open and share...I was known to be the one to come to to ask about a curriculum because I had probably bought it and at least tried it :) Here in Australia one of our biggest problems is having to buy a program without having actually seen it, so many times i have brought a program to a homeschool group to show the ladies so they could actually see and touch it.

 

I did notice others weren't necessarily so open about what they used, but I didn't really worry about it. I figured they were using the same thing year after year mostly- I found many people don't like to curriculum jump like I used to and would be happy with something like Saxon math or Seton catholic curricula or whatever, and weren't really interested in looking at anything else. I have one friend who used Saxon math and Rod and Staff and while I went from R&S to CW to a variety of other programs...she stayed with those two programs (and that definitely wouldn't have suited my kids). So...there was a limit to how much I could talk about all the new programs I was using over the years and I stopped talking about them with her.

 

Overall...people are just themselves and I dont take such things personally. We homeschoolers are such a diverse bunch.

[AngieW in Texas]

That seems odd to me. I don't know any hsers who aren't happy to tell about the programs they use when asked about them.

[Daisy]

I used to be very open, but learned to be more guarded after a few years of being criticized for my "unreasonable expectations."

 

:iagree::glare:

[Melanie]

I found many people don't like to curriculum jump like I used to and would be happy with something like Saxon math or Seton catholic curricula or whatever, and weren't really interested in looking at anything else. I have one friend who used Saxon math and Rod and Staff and while I went from R&S to CW to a variety of other programs...she stayed with those two programs (and that definitely wouldn't have suited my kids). So...there was a limit to how much I could talk about all the new programs I was using over the years and I stopped talking about them with her.

 

That's a good point! I've never cared much for curriculum hopping, so I find myself unable to participate in many discussions about the new and exciting programs out there.

 

P.S. We use Saxon and Rod & Staff! :lol:

[StephanieZ]

Oh my gosh, of course I share everything with anyone who is interested. I find it very interesting and am happy to discuss it. (LOL, ain't that why were are HERE?) I love turning folks on to new stuff and am always on the look for new ideas myself. I give heads up about sales, deals, and I lend stuff very freely. I have lent my entire IEW TWSS out to three families already (in 2 years)!

 

I have some acquaintances/friends who don't share much, but I am pretty confident that this reflects their own lack of confidence and/or enthusiasm.

 

If I thought they were being secretive in order to keep one step ahead. . . well, that'd tell me that either this was NOT someone I want to be around, or that *I* have some issues to deal with, lol.

 

Explanations could be: you're imagining it (are you insecure? do you dislike this woman and look for reasons to be critical?); they're crazy or mean; they are not confident; they do not desire your reaction (why would that be? were you critical? are they really insecure?)

[TravelingChris]

If I have a reason to tell someone, I do. Like I have met moms who haven't heard of Teaching Company and have children who need an alternative to textbooks. I always tell them about the tapes/dvds. I have them later come back and thank me too so I know some have been helped. IF anyone asks about things, I tell them. On the other hand, I don't bring it up as a topic of conversation unless someone says they are looking for something different or mentions a child having a problem of some kind (including boredom). I am always meeting homeschoolers who use all BJU or all ABEKA or something like that and I never comment. If it works for them, great.

[laundrycrisis]

I will share everything I have/use with anyone who asks and wants details. In fact I am in the process of getting the entire collection into a Librarything bookshelf so I can just refer people to that for the entire list of what I have for any subject.

 

I do not like it when I get the feeling that someone is just asking in order to compare in a competitive kind of way.....but I will openly share anyway, because it's what feels like the right thing to me. If they are competitive, that is their issue, not mine.

 

When I "discover" something that is really cool and I did not find it easily, I will make a special effort to share it with a local group.

 

The only time I hold back is when it's a rare book that is difficult to find at a good price - I will get my own copy before I want more competition shopping for it ;)

Edited June 4, 2010 by laundrycrisis

[laundrycrisis]

Recently, I spoke to someone about this and they said that they think that it comes across like I "know everything" and that makes people mad. Huh? Why ask a question if you don't really want an answer? So I'm feeling very unsure of myself nowdays and trying to keep my info to myself, even when asked, if I haven't known the person a long time......

 

This is very perplexing to me. I've been asking questions all my life. My mom says my first word was "why". I love asking questions and I really want answers when I ask them. I don't ask with some ulterior motive in mind.... It's very alien to me to think that what appears to be a simple question isn't necessarily just a simple question, meant to be answered with a straightforward answer.....

 

I don't expect to have to psychoanalyze what appear to be simple questions about something as unimportant as a book or workbook for Heaven's sake, LOL! I just don't need that type of angst. It's amazing to me that people have so many ulterior motives behind everything they do and say.....

 

Me too !

 

If someone asks me a question about something specific....if they didn't really want to know what I know about it.....they shouldn't have asked. :tongue_smilie:

 

I have learned to pause and use another question to try to find out why they are asking....then if it's a situation that seems like they really only want a quick answer, or confirmation that what they already thought was right, then I do that. But if their question gets more and more specific - and they really want information - I give the whole data dump. I find it's more often appreciated by those who really wanted a lot of information in the first place. It is hard for me to grasp though, why someone who does not want full information would not make that obvious when they ask a question....and why anyone who asks a question would be irritated by a thorough answer....because, me, I love it when I find someone who is a fount of information about something I'm interested in. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

I do share about curriculum with those who ask. But I've found that those who use something like Abeka or BJU (which I have no problem with) seem to have a problem with me. Much of it seems to be the fact that I mix and match curricula. I have a hard time figuring out what is threatening about that but a couple of these moms have told me that they consider themselves more facilitators of the program than home educators themselves. Perhaps it is intimidating?

[Amber in AUS]

I didn't read all of the responses but i know for me it depends who i am speaking with as to how much i share. I was in a circle of unschoolers/natural learners at our last house and i didn't share with them. They frowned on people who didn't do it their way or who expected so much from little children who would get it on their own at 12. OTOH we have just moved and found a group who are as excited about curricula as i am and i am happy to share with them and have also found them very open about what they are using and plans for the future. Yay, like minds :) So, i think it depends on the people.

[asta]

I have always had to be very careful with what I share about curricula. I have only lived in places where the homeschool population is predominately *very* religious. This, in and of itself, does not bother me (to each their own). However, for whatever reason, the particular populations I have found myself in have been *extremely* threatened by non-religious curricula. Of any type.

 

I end up even keeping Analytical Grammar to myself because it doesn't have bible verses at the top of every page for "reinforcement".

 

 

a

[Aubrey]

Boy, if I had people willing to listen to me, I, extreme introvert that I am, would have weekly meetings, bake brownies, & serve tea. I love to talk hs philosophy, hs curric, hs stores. I'm afraid I'm really boring to non-hsers. Well...unless they're interested in TS Eliot & obscure philosophy. But then they wouldn't appreciate the brownies as much.

[Aubrey]

I have always had to be very careful with what I share about curricula. I have only lived in places where the homeschool population is predominately *very* religious. This, in and of itself, does not bother me (to each their own). However, for whatever reason, the particular populations I have found myself in have been *extremely* threatened by non-religious curricula. Of any type.

 

I end up even keeping Analytical Grammar to myself because it doesn't have bible verses at the top of every page for "reinforcement".

 

 

a

 

Oh my gosh. I don't know what we're going to do if dh ends up being a pastor for real, but I'd SO show up at those people's houses w/ good curric, tape, & Scripture on scraps of paper. We can fix the secular stuff if somebody thinks it needs to say something about God at the top. The religious stuff is harder to amend. ;)