HELP! Bad hsing mom incident this morning...feeling very frustrated...how to handle?!

[Happy2BaMom]

So, ds, 7 & I are nearing the end of our first "year" (actually five months - pulled him from 1st grade at Christmas) of hsing, and we had a major knocking of heads this morning.

 

The issue is that I get a lot of push-back about starting school time from ds. I have tried everything....starting later, changing locations, switching up the start order of subjects, putting in more games, etc. etc. And we don't do school for very long - he is already an avid (compulsive?) reader reading several grade levels beyond his group, so we pretty much do math and a short schedule of the other subjects. We are usually done in 2 hours, 4 days a week. He is fine once we get going...it's just the startup, but the startup can be a lot of foot stomping, whining, flopping, crying, etc.

 

I've tried punishment, rewards, just being quiet but firm, sometimes all of the above. Yes, we eventually get to school with any of these, but the pushback never gets any better.

 

This morning I "had it" with the attitude. I ended up telling ds that I was working harder than he was to make school palatable and that it didn't make any difference in how he felt about school, so from now on he could either shut up (yes, I actually said that) and do the work or he could go back to ps (which he hated) and I could get on with doing things which might actually feel better to me than dealing with a kid who throws a fit anytime he has to do work for 1/4 of the time he would actually be spending in regular school.

 

Sigh.

Let's just say it's obvious that I need to do something different to have a more positive experience with hsing.

Sigh.

 

So, before this turns into an "evaluation of Happy2BaMom's parenting skills" or an "evaluation of Happy@BaMom's hsing style", let me be specific in what feedback I'm looking for:

 

I want to know how others have handled similar situations with their children. What worked? What didn't? How do you keep your child's negative reaction from spreading and spoiling the morning? What do you experience with your children when it is time to start school?

 

Is it best to have a rigid schedule in this instance? (e.g. 9 - 11 is school, period...e.g. am I trying too hard). Just so you know, his attitude is not any better after a week or two off - been there, done that.

 

And I don't think 2 hours of school four days a week is excessive. DS is happy once he gets going.

 

Hive, speak, before I do more psychological damage to my ds or myself!

[Snickerdoodle]

I find that starting lessons right after rolling out of bed before even looking at (fun) books or toys works the best. I have one that takes forever to eat breakfast otherwise I'd do breakfast first then lessons. (Mine eats while he works).

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: I believe I've had more than one incidence of telling my child to shut up, probably followed by a veiled threat to send him to school where they would make him wear socks and shoes.

 

Part of being a homeschooling parent is that we become more transparent in front of our children. It's easy (okay easier) to be "happy good mommy" when they're at school most of the day.

 

I have one ds and we've homeschooled since first grade. I don't know what will work for you, but I was shocked to find my ds thrived on routine. I love flexible starts times, spontaneity, he likes routine. :confused::001_huh:

 

I made a schedule and posted it. We start school at this time. At age 7 I probably had times listed when he should start getting ready and stayed on him to be on task. I'm in charge, we start when I say.

 

Over the years I've found we need a transition before we start school. We do read-aloud time as our first subject. Ds enjoys me reading and it gets us into school mode.

 

I think 2 hours 4x/week is fine. Just remember to take off the teacher hat and be mommy once that time is over. I forgot to do that for a while.

[Cheryl in NM]

So, ds, 7 & I are nearing the end of our first "year" (actually five months - pulled him from 1st grade at Christmas) of hsing, and we had a major knocking of heads this morning.

 

The issue is that I get a lot of push-back about starting school time from ds. I have tried everything....starting later, changing locations, switching up the start order of subjects, putting in more games, etc. etc. And we don't do school for very long - he is already an avid (compulsive?) reader reading several grade levels beyond his group, so we pretty much do math and a short schedule of the other subjects. We are usually done in 2 hours, 4 days a week. He is fine once we get going...it's just the startup, but the startup can be a lot of foot stomping, whining, flopping, crying, etc.

 

I've tried punishment, rewards, just being quiet but firm, sometimes all of the above. Yes, we eventually get to school with any of these, but the pushback never gets any better.

 

This morning I "had it" with the attitude. I ended up telling ds that I was working harder than he was to make school palatable and that it didn't make any difference in how he felt about school, so from now on he could either shut up (yes, I actually said that) and do the work or he could go back to ps (which he hated) and I could get on with doing things which might actually feel better to me than dealing with a kid who throws a fit anytime he has to do work for 1/4 of the time he would actually be spending in regular school.

 

Sigh.

Let's just say it's obvious that I need to do something different to have a more positive experience with hsing.

Sigh.

 

So, before this turns into an "evaluation of Happy2BaMom's parenting skills" or an "evaluation of Happy@BaMom's hsing style", let me be specific in what feedback I'm looking for:

 

I want to know how others have handled similar situations with their children. What worked? What didn't? How do you keep your child's negative reaction from spreading and spoiling the morning? What do you experience with your children when it is time to start school?

 

Is it best to have a rigid schedule in this instance? (e.g. 9 - 11 is school, period...e.g. am I trying too hard). Just so you know, his attitude is not any better after a week or two off - been there, done that.

 

And I don't think 2 hours of school four days a week is excessive. DS is happy once he gets going.

 

Hive, speak, before I do more psychological damage to my ds or myself!

 

LOL, it's okay, we've ALL been there! Trust me, it's okay. It might be good for your son realize that it's not all about him and that his behavior hurts you sometimes.

 

One thing that has worked for me with my son over the years is to reward the good behavior. Starting schoolwork without grumbling might earn 1/2 hour screen time or pleasure reading time. You know your son so dangle his "carrot" in front of him for the behaviors you desire. That has worked better for my son than punishment for misbehavior.

 

I second the pp who said no "fun" before school. It is still a rule around here that schoolwork is completed before email gets checked, tv gets turned on, etc.

 

I hope that helps and relax. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Pippen]

Have you tried sliding his work and a pencil to him as he finishes breakfast? I had good luck with that for ps homework.

[Irishmommy]

Bless your heart! No stone throwing here! You've just described my first year of hsing to a T! What works for us? Most of what the others have already said. My ds thrives on routine, I don't, but he does. I find when he really pushes me about starting is when I've relaxed a little too much or we've had a break. Also, the reading aloud first thing helps too, or saying the pledge. I think the pledge just gets everyone in the school room at the same time because someone is going to get to hold the flag and everyone wants it to be them!!! Also, be gentle with yourself. It is a hard transition from ps to homeschool, we did that in first grade also. I do often remind my son that in ps he would be in school until 3:00, so he's got a good deal going here. As he's gotten older he's gotten better at not throwing fits, they do still occur at times, but now he's to the point I can just take something (namely video games) away if he doesn't get his school work done. Oh, and for a while, we had a reward system based on whether he finished his work before Daddy got home. Hope some of that helps! I know your pain, friend!!

[Cindyg]

We have this issue too. I wouldn't be surprised if all the WTM families have struggled with this.

 

I do not think the answer to everything is to do less, make it easier, make it more fun. As you said, you've tried that, and he still resists.

 

We start every morning with what we call a "listening class." DS is welcome to loll on the floor with his dog, his legos, his breakfast, his eyes closed, whatever he wants. Just so long as he listens.

 

The content of our listening class doesn't really matter. You can choose your own. But usually by the time the listening class is over, ds has made his transition into the school day.

 

Another thing that helped when my son was your son's age -- I took a handful of Unifix cubes (Legos) and snapped them together into a chain. I explained that this represents our school day. With them all snapped together, our school days is "this" long. Or you can put huge gaps in between each one -- explain that the gaps are the delays, meltdowns, complaining, refusals, even pleasant breaks, whatever -- and our school day becomes "this" long.

 

My son understood that lesson.

 

I also had to explain to him -- not unlike you did -- that it's either school at home or school at school. There is no option to go without school. If you want to have school at home, you have to respect me as your teacher.

 

Personally, I try to be dispassionate and persistent. I try not to be angry, but I'm not budging either. This behavior will not get you out of school today.

 

My son is almost 13. We've homeschooled since first grade. It does get easier, but I will admit that this is an ongoing issue.

[sagira]

So I'm not the only one?? LOL

 

I'm noticing there are a lot less complaints since we started Math Mammoth, and math has gone from ds' most dreaded lesson to one of his favorites! Ds likes MM.

 

I notice that days are much better too when we start right away. Thanks for the tip on removing my teacher's hat after school. I tend to forget.

 

Also, I really appreciate the comment about being more transparent in front of our children as hsing mamas. I feel like I'm on the spot. A wise, older hsing mom told me that it's important to take time off for yourself sometimes.

[monalisa]

It's OK, don't beat yourself up for having a meltdown -- I have the SAME conversations with DD 7 who went to private Christian school for K and loved it. Now she prefers homeschool, but I get the SAME attitude sometimes. I was muuuuch worse in the first 6 or so months. There were a couple of times that I actually cried in front of her because I was so frustrated. However, it has gotten A LOT better. I think a lot of it has to do with your ds adjusting to mom as his teacher for one thing. That is part of my dd's problem for sure. I still tell her that if she can't cooperate with me as a teacher, she will learn to cooperate with someone even if it means going to school.

 

For my dd, it works best if we are consistent from day to day on what time we start (usually about 9), generally how we organize the day, (starting with Bible, then reading, then math, etc.). I would pick what works for you, and go with it and be firm. If he pitches a fit, so be it. It will just take him that much longer to get through his day. If he were in PS or private school, he wouldn't get to choose when school starts. I'm all for some adjustments to kids' preferences since we are homeschooling and not in an institution, but you deserve as the teacher to have his respect and you do get to make the rules.

 

I also started using a technique when lack of cooperation occurs called "taking a break" which is kind of like a timeout, where you have them go sit in a designated spot (the bottom step for us) but the child dictates when they're done and ready to cooperate have a happy heart. Then they come back to you and discuss what they did wrong and what they will do next time. It is from a book called Parenting from the Heart (and others by Turansky and Miller). This has worked well for her/us.

 

I feel for you. Back in Nov./Dec. I was ready to quit because DD wouldn't cooperate most days for at least some of the time. Now its maybe once 1 every couple of weeks that she gets a little mini lecture ("homeschooling is a privilege, not a right!") and has a talk with daddy when he gets home. I really think it has a lot to do with adjusting to being at home for school.

[mo2]

 

Part of being a homeschooling parent is that we become more transparent in front of our children. It's easy (okay easier) to be "happy good mommy" when they're at school most of the day.

 

 

I never looked at it like this. Thank you.

[micandme]

:grouphug: I believe I've had more than one incidence of telling my child to shut up, probably followed by a veiled threat to send him to school where they would make him wear socks and shoes.

 

Part of being a homeschooling parent is that we become more transparent in front of our children. It's easy (okay easier) to be "happy good mommy" when they're at school most of the day.

 

I have one ds and we've homeschooled since first grade. I don't know what will work for you, but I was shocked to find my ds thrived on routine. I love flexible starts times, spontaneity, he likes routine. :confused::001_huh:

 

 

:iagree: I can tell you this, too... when my 7 year old was 6, every. single. day. was a battle. Just to do the basics of math, reading, writing a little bit. Something happened this year, and it's just no longer a battle. I have no idea why. Sure, we do have some bad days, but it's not EVERY SINGLE day.

 

I do notice that attitudes get sour when they start playing or reading before school and I have to pull them away, so I agree that just starting right off after breakfast, chores or whatever has worked best for us. We can get more done in 2 hours after breakfast than in 6 after lunch! :tongue_smilie:

 

Trying to "make it more fun" (for the sole purpose of making them decide to be agreeable) was only making ME resentful and having no impact on the kids! I still use the... "do you realize that most kids go to school from 8:30-3 AND have an hour or two of homework every day?" line, but it's to no avail. It still sounds like more fun to them! :D

 

Hang in there... it's just one of many thing that "you have to do whether you want to or not".... like emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry, etc. that we have to teach them to do.

[Snickerdoodle]

We start every morning with what we call a "listening class." DS is welcome to loll on the floor with his dog, his legos, his breakfast, his eyes closed, whatever he wants.

 

THis is a great idea! Thanks!

[abrightmom]

Another thing that helped when my son was your son's age -- I took a handful of Unifix cubes (Legos) and snapped them together into a chain. I explained that this represents our school day. With them all snapped together, our school days is "this" long. Or you can put huge gaps in between each one -- explain that the gaps are the delays, meltdowns, complaining, refusals, even pleasant breaks, whatever -- and our school day becomes "this" long.

 

:001_smile: I'm using this idea! Brilliant.

[m0mmaBuck]

If it weren't for the fact that I remember how miserable we ALL were when DS was in PS (tantrums, having to be physically dragged out of bed in the a.m., crying during homework, 3-5 days of being called by the school, DS feigning sick at least 3 days/wk, etc.), his little butt would be going back there in the Fall.

 

It is so unfair to DD that DS makes our school time miserable, and it's unfair to the rest of the family that some days he has managed to make me miserable too!

 

Mondays are our best days and it goes down hill from there. I am thinking that next year I might try to accomplish all of our work for the week in 4 days so we can take Fridays off for field trips and outings. I hate Fridays. Of course then Thursday will be our Friday so it will probably become the day I hate.

[Ravin]

Around here, sometimes DD is the slow starter, and sometimes I am. Our mornings seem to go smoothest when I leave DD a to-do list for when she gets up before I get home from work (I either work overnight to 7 AM or morning from 5-9AM). It usually includes a couple of chores and a handwriting worksheet. She then gets either DW#2 or DH to get her breakfast (if it's a morning I'm working later than 7), and watches TV and eats breakfast. Usually by the time I get home and get something to eat, she's raring to go on school work. When we decide it's time to get started, the TV and computer go off and she gets my attention and we do schoolwork. She's not allowed to watch TV or play on the computer or outside with friends until schoolwork is done. We take frequent breaks to keep her from getting frustrated. We've settled into this routine only in the last month--before that there was a lot of pushback that would make lessons take a ridiculously long time!

[kalanamak]

 

Hive, speak, before I do more psychological damage to my ds or myself!

 

I remember well the day I slapped my hand on the table and told him he WOULD know his math facts. It worked. I had tried a whole year of manipulatives and sloooooow, recurring explanations in as many perky voices as I could muster.

 

Sometimes I do say that if he keeps up the carping, he'll go to bed early without ice cream. That works. I have taken him down to a school, after hours and looked in the windows. Now he tells me, spontaneously, he will always, always do his best to never have to go to school.

 

For the most part, the day goes smoothly, but every now and then he touches those buttons and I can hear my blood pounding in my ears. I'm sure he feels the same way about me.

[Sahamamama]

This morning I "had it" with the attitude. I ended up telling ds that I was working harder than he was to make school palatable and that it didn't make any difference in how he felt about school, so from now on he could either shut up (yes, I actually said that) and do the work or he could go back to ps (which he hated) and I could get on with doing things which might actually feel better to me than dealing with a kid who throws a fit anytime he has to do work for 1/4 of the time he would actually be spending in regular school.

 

:hurray: Good for you! You were honest with him, so that's a start. You know, I don't think there are any "magic bullets" for attitude, but there is something effective about being transparent with your students. Even when I tutored 5th grade boys :cool:, there were times when I had to "blow up" at them -- I mean, give them a good talkin' to, KWIM? They just came in with such lousy attitudes, man, it was like I was pulling them up the hill. Whose effort should this be, anyway?

 

And then, BAM! I told them, "Hey, this is YOUR education, this is YOUR life, this is YOUR time to get it or not get it, so put your lazy butt in gear and work. Life is work. All of life is work...." And on and on and on, until the poor kid was saying, "Yes, ma'am" and ready to do push-ups on nails.

 

Sometimes you have to motiivate them. KWIM? With honest feedback. :smash:

 

Edited to add: Don't feel bad. I told my five year old the other day, in a moment of frustration, "If you don't shape up, I'm going to put you on the bus!" Talk about a guilt trip afterward....

Edited May 29, 2010 by Sahamamama
Confession

[mom4him]

:grouphug:Well, I have one that is consistently objective to doing school. The thing that works best for him most of the time is telling in a calm voice, "We won't be done until we are finished with....... The sooner your you start the sooner you will be finished. Let me know when you are ready to start." I turn away and go to work on something else. It may take a couple of minutes but he generally comes around because he KNOWS that I mean it.:001_smile:

[Amy Jo]

First of all, I think I've done worse. And I agree with the poster who hates Friday (except my Friday is Sunday, I'm so tired by then).

 

A schedule helps a LOT. Even if I follow the schedule for half a day, we get a lot done and I am more relaxed. I ended up using MOTH (Managers of their Homes) because I have 4 kids to juggle.

 

The second thing that helps, especially with DS6 (shut down / passive resistance) and DS4 (outright defiance) was working on obedience. I read http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com and saw how important my consistency was. Then I read some of Charlotte Mason's habit training.

 

Charlotte Mason trained habits indirectly. So she encouraged children to give full and accurate descriptions as a way of training honesty. While its very hard to "force" my son to do math, it is not so hard to cause him to carry in/stack firewood. And he learns that he must obey. (I don't know if obedience is an issue for you, but it is for me, esp. with DS4. Simply Charlotte Mason has an article on habit training here.)

 

I agree that it was good for him to know that his behavior affects you. And no one will blame you for being human. :grouphug:

Amy

[Mommy22alyns]

Something about those 6-7 year olds... :glare: :grouphug:

[iammommy]

:grouphug:No judgments from me. I've been there, too, and have unfortunately told my ds to shut up, as well. Don't beat yourself up. It happens.

 

My ds is compliant with regards to starting his school work these days, but it wasn't always that way. Can you ask him to help you find a way that will make it easier for him to start school each day? I did that with my son and found out that he wanted to start with his worst subject to get it over with, and that he didn't want to take long breaks between subjects. He also said he wanted to have a posting on a whiteboard of all his work for the day so he could erase it as he finishes.

 

These might not work for your ds, but brainstorming with him is a beginning I have also walked away from "school" and told my ds to let me know when he was ready to come to school with a good attitude. Since he's basically a compliant child, it was only a matter of minutes that he said he was ready.

 

Hope this helps a little, but not, no judging from this mom! Just :grouphug:!

 

Nan

[Geo]

:grouphug: I believe I've had more than one incidence of telling my child to shut up, probably followed by a veiled threat to send him to school where they would make him wear socks and shoes.

 

Part of being a homeschooling parent is that we become more transparent in front of our children. It's easy (okay easier) to be "happy good mommy" when they're at school most of the day.

 

I have one ds and we've homeschooled since first grade. I don't know what will work for you, but I was shocked to find my ds thrived on routine. I love flexible starts times, spontaneity, he likes routine. :confused::001_huh:

 

I made a schedule and posted it. We start school at this time. At age 7 I probably had times listed when he should start getting ready and stayed on him to be on task. I'm in charge, we start when I say.

 

Over the years I've found we need a transition before we start school. We do read-aloud time as our first subject. Ds enjoys me reading and it gets us into school mode.

 

I think 2 hours 4x/week is fine. Just remember to take off the teacher hat and be mommy once that time is over. I forgot to do that for a while.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Wow, it's like you're "channeling" my very thoughts. I was going to suggest beginning with read-aloud time as a transition. I'm not sure who needs it more at my house, me or the kids....but then, I am the non-routine one. :)

 

Geo

Edited May 29, 2010 by Geo

[Sahamamama]

Another thing that helped when my son was your son's age -- I took a handful of Unifix cubes (Legos) and snapped them together into a chain. I explained that this represents our school day. With them all snapped together, our school days is "this" long. Or you can put huge gaps in between each one -- explain that the gaps are the delays, meltdowns, complaining, refusals, even pleasant breaks, whatever -- and our school day becomes "this" long.

 

My son understood that lesson.

 

THIS is brilliant. I will use this. This is BRILLIANT!

[Capt_Uhura]

I had so many days like this when I brought my DS home for 3rd grade. That first year was h*(^&. Now we're finishing our 2nd year and it's so much better. ONe thing that I found has helped, is to start the morning with something fun. So we start w/ a read-aloud. Then we do MCT language arts which they love. I'm HSing a 4th and 1st grader. Then we start daily independent work (read - not fun lol) while I work with one and then we switch. That seems to go better than starting w/ say daily independent work.

 

And I also asked DS what he wanted to learn, what he wanted to change etc. We worked on a schedule together.

 

Hey, it's hard! It happens. And it'll likely happen again. I've given myself so many timeouts. But in the end I asked myself if there was more positive then negative. I also told DS we were both learning how this works and there would be bumps.

 

BUT he had to contribute also. If it came to the point that HSing didn't work out for us, he'd have to go back to school. Not in a threatening way, but matter of fact.

 

Also, bringing DH into the equation also helped. EVen though they may want to homeschool, it's quite a transition to think of home as a place to learn if they've been in public school.

 

:grouphug:

 

Capt_Uhura

[Snowfall]

I'm new to this, too. We started last summer with my DD who was 5, so we did K this year. One day I got so sick of her attitude (attitude! from a 5-year-old!) I loaded her up in the car and told her I was taking her to register for school right that very minute. :blushing::crying: Luckily my husband was home and he intervened. I did have pregnancy hormones and had a horrible, difficult pregnancy, so dealing with her attitude while I was barely able to keep down a piece of toast and was trying my best to find every fun idea to get her like what we were doing so that DH (who really wanted RESULTS from K, not just play-based K) wouldn't make her go to school...well, it was overwhelming. It's ironic that he's the one who stopped me from driving her right to the school that very day. None of that really makes me feel better about it, though. I cried so hard that day.

 

So I have no good advice, but I know how you feel.

[melissel]

You've gotten lots of great advice (some of which I'll also take myself!), so I just wanted to chime in with another "You're not alone!" As Cindyg said, I'm pretty sure we've all threatened them with the big yellow bus at some time or another (and another, and another :lol:)! Don't worry about it; start over tomorrow with all this wisdom under your belt :grouphug:

 

We start every morning with what we call a "listening class." DS is welcome to loll on the floor with his dog, his legos, his breakfast, his eyes closed, whatever he wants. Just so long as he listens.

 

This is a lovely idea! Thanks for sharing it :D

[Happy2BaMom]

I actually feel better now. I should also note that ds bounced right back and seems to have completely forgotten about it...kids don't suffer from mommy guilt. It's nice to know other moms have had their "had it" moments and that you have been successful in continuing to hs (I would be very sad if ds went back to school, but this morning it was sooooooooooooo tempting. However, I don't want to fall into the habit of threatening ps.)

 

I really, really like these suggestions - the interlocking rods, the visual firm schedule, the discussion on how to start and the thing I think will work the best - starting with reading out loud, the Pledge, and some focus on Bible/character (it helps to set the intention for the day, I think) as transition activities. My son loves to be read to.

 

Several of you were right on regarding your observations that it is much harder to pull kids from play time or reading time for school time - that is exactly where we have had our worst struggles, so I'll change the schedule to limit those. And - probably most important - I will continue to stand firm (and hopefully quietly) on the "yes, it's time, yes, we will do this" line. (and I"ll continue to turn to the hive when I'm losing my mind....:tongue_smilie:)

 

I have tried variations of several of your suggestions, but looking back I think it has probably came across to ds as a little mushy or confusing. So, I'll put a plan together & tackle it....on Tuesday. Right now I think what both ds and I really need is some happy time together, reading, snuggling, tickling, and enjoying each other.

 

Thanks for the :grouphug:, too. I needed 'em!

 

Janet

[gpsings]

We have this issue too. I wouldn't be surprised if all the WTM families have struggled with this.

 

I do not think the answer to everything is to do less, make it easier, make it more fun. As you said, you've tried that, and he still resists.

 

We start every morning with what we call a "listening class." DS is welcome to loll on the floor with his dog, his legos, his breakfast, his eyes closed, whatever he wants. Just so long as he listens.

 

The content of our listening class doesn't really matter. You can choose your own. But usually by the time the listening class is over, ds has made his transition into the school day.

 

Another thing that helped when my son was your son's age -- I took a handful of Unifix cubes (Legos) and snapped them together into a chain. I explained that this represents our school day. With them all snapped together, our school days is "this" long. Or you can put huge gaps in between each one -- explain that the gaps are the delays, meltdowns, complaining, refusals, even pleasant breaks, whatever -- and our school day becomes "this" long.

 

My son understood that lesson.

 

I also had to explain to him -- not unlike you did -- that it's either school at home or school at school. There is no option to go without school. If you want to have school at home, you have to respect me as your teacher.

 

Personally, I try to be dispassionate and persistent. I try not to be angry, but I'm not budging either. This behavior will not get you out of school today.

 

My son is almost 13. We've homeschooled since first grade. It does get easier, but I will admit that this is an ongoing issue.

 

I'm SO stealing your ideas!

[Sahamamama]

He also said he wanted to have a posting on a whiteboard of all his work for the day so he could erase it as he finishes.

 

 

This reminds me -- We do use a magnetic whiteboard to visually show the school work for the day. We have a laminated chart divided into sections...

 

Seat Work | Subjects

 

|

 

|

__________________________________________

Read Alouds | Extras

 

|

 

|

__________________________________________

 

The five year old "sets up" the magnet board for the day. Each subject is represented by a colored magnet (I bought little colored magnet squares at Walmart) --

 

Math fact drill = lavender

Math lesson = purple

Language arts = green

Preschool = blue

Science (animals) = orange

Bible = pink

Music/art = red

Read alouds = various colors, depending on what we're reading

Picture books/chapter books = yellow

 

She looks at the Weekly Schedule and sees what we're doing for that day (it's always the same each week). She puts the magnets for that day on the Daily Chart. She also updates the days and weather on the calendar in the kitchen.

 

After our Morning Routine -- bathe, dress, straighten up our rooms/make beds, eat breakfast, do chores -- we begin our day (usually ;)). When we complete a part of our work, she gets up and moves the magnet off the Daily Chart. When the chart is empty, we are done! :D

 

Would something visual that your son sets up every day help to show him that his start time impacts his end time? HTH.

[Sahamamama]

As Cindyg said, I'm pretty sure we've all threatened them with the big yellow bus at some time or another. :lol:

 

 

I love this thread. I feel SO MUCH better after reading it.

[Irishmommy]

Another technique I've tried is to write subjects on popcicle sticks and have ds draw the next subject we would do. I always wanted him to start with math, he would always refuse. With the sticks, it wasn't up to Mommy, it was up to the sticks!

[MamaofTwo]

Right there with ya! I find a consistent starting time and plenty of protein for breakfast makes our day much smoother. I try to never serve sugar at breakfast (waffles, pancakes, sugary cereal, etc.). The days I have a brain lapse and actually serve pancakes turn into complete chaos. Seriously. It's not pretty.

[elfinbaby]

I hope we've all btdt or I am a rotten hsing mom!

 

What I find is that a schedule and consistency is best for my kids. If I announce we will begin at "X" time and stick to it, things eventually go smoothly with less "feedback." At first there is complaining but once they understand that's just the way things are going to be - they get over it.

 

I should also add that I am a fruitcake w/o a consistent bone in my body. When things start going smoothly, I tend to slack b/c - well, things are going smoothly! Then I'm back to square one. You'd think I'd learn from my mistakes, and, yet, I haven't.

 

Here's to being more consistent in the next school year!:lol:

[Sunshine State Sue]

I haven't read all the replies, but I hope that you are feeling better or at least not alone by now. :lol:

 

I used to tell my ds that there were many things that I could be doing with my time, but I was hs'ing him instead. I told him that I didn't need his thanks, but I did need his cooperation. If I didn't have his cooperation, I couldn't hs. I repeated this many, many, many a day.

 

It got better around 5th/6th grade. In 7th, hormones emerged, but I don't want to scare you. ;)

[mommyofthree]

We start every morning with what we call a "listening class."

 

This is a fantastic idea. Thanks for sharing.

[Amy Jo]

This reminds me -- We do use a magnetic whiteboard to visually show the school work for the day. We have a laminated chart divided into sections...

 

Seat Work | Subjects

 

|

 

|

__________________________________________

Read Alouds | Extras

 

|

 

|

__________________________________________

 

The five year old "sets up" the magnet board for the day. Each subject is represented by a colored magnet (I bought little colored magnet squares at Walmart) --

 

Math fact drill = lavender

Math lesson = purple

Language arts = green

Preschool = blue

Science (animals) = orange

Bible = pink

Music/art = red

Read alouds = various colors, depending on what we're reading

Picture books/chapter books = yellow

 

She looks at the Weekly Schedule and sees what we're doing for that day (it's always the same each week). She puts the magnets for that day on the Daily Chart. She also updates the days and weather on the calendar in the kitchen.

 

After our Morning Routine -- bathe, dress, straighten up our rooms/make beds, eat breakfast, do chores -- we begin our day (usually ;)). When we complete a part of our work, she gets up and moves the magnet off the Daily Chart. When the chart is empty, we are done! :D

 

Would something visual that your son sets up every day help to show him that his start time impacts his end time? HTH.

 

Wow - that sounds like something I can use! Any chance of a picture???

Amy

[Kirch]

Wow, so many great ideas!! I love the listening class idea, and I've been wanting to incorporate more just-for-fun read-alouds. We'll definitely be trying that one.

 

I don't think a set-in-stone schedule would work well for us, but a set-in-stone *start time* right after breakfast helps a lot. That and outlawing computer/TV time before school. When I waver on either of those things (which happens more than I'd like to admit), I can count on whining and resistance. Most of the time when we start right after breakfast, he's fine.

[Bayt ul-Hikmah]

I agree with those who mentioned starting school first thing. The days my ds plays first thing never go well. Starting with a read aloud is a great idea! I'd like to institute this awesome listening game as a daily before-school habit.

[Bayt ul-Hikmah]

I used to tell my ds that there were many things that I could be doing with my time, but I was hs'ing him instead. I told him that I didn't need his thanks, but I did need his cooperation. If I didn't have his cooperation, I couldn't hs.

 

This is perfect. I need to commit this to memory lol.

[Kirch]

I agree with those who mentioned starting school first thing. The days my ds plays first thing never go well. Starting with a read aloud is a great idea! I'd like to institute this awesome listening game as a daily before-school habit.

 

I'm definitely going to use that game! Thanks for the link!

[Tree House Academy]

Well, if saying those things make you a bad homeschooling mommy, then someone needs to print out my award for "worst homeschooling mom ever" right now. LOL I say the same stuff for the same reasons at least once a month.

[arstephia]

I didn't read all of the posts, but I understand. My son went through similar things at that age. He did outgrow it, but he can easily slip into it from time to time. We started writing down start/end times and had to give a report to Dad. If there were many start/stop times during the day, there were consequences and privileges lost. Hang in there.

[coralloyd]

I switched to starting school right after lunch. My girls enjoy the morning to play, play, play (after they are groomed and chores done). They never balk about stopping to eat, and I always tell them we're starting school right after lunch. I decided on this after reading a learninng styles book. So I asked them when they would like school to be, they both said in the after noons.

[Lovedtodeath]

I have said the exact same things to DD and her father has backed me up.:001_huh:

[Caribbean Queen]

I like to start with something light and pleasant like singing, or independant reading, or a science experiment. We have a morning routine and that helps too.

[sagira]

I am so thankful for this thread.

 

I will be combining some of the terrific ideas here. This morning, I'm writing our school lessons on the white board, showing ds the blocks (what a wonderful idea!), and have ds start right after breakfast. Thankfully he loves protein for breakfast.

[blessed2fosteradopt]

Well, if saying those things make you a bad homeschooling mommy, then someone needs to print out my award for "worst homeschooling mom ever" right now. LOL I say the same stuff for the same reasons at least once a month.

 

:iagree::tongue_smilie:Big hugs to the OP :grouphug:. As always, you have received some fantastic advice from the hive. Thank you for starting this thread and I will pray that things start to run more smoothly for you soon.

 

Blessings,

 

Lisa

[Sahamamama]

Right there with ya! I find a consistent starting time and plenty of protein for breakfast makes our day much smoother. I try to never serve sugar at breakfast (waffles, pancakes, sugary cereal, etc.). The days I have a brain lapse and actually serve pancakes turn into complete chaos. Seriously. It's not pretty.

 

This is so true. I've noticed that on mornings when we have eggs, everyone concentrates better by school time. We never have sugary food or cold cereal, anyway, but I do feed them home-cooked oatmeal, cream of wheat, bananas & yogurt, or French toast. Somehow, I intuitively started giving them eggs or C.o.W. with yogurt on "reading lesson" days.... Now that I think about it, I agree, breakfast does make a difference. :iagree:

[momof4boys]

I have had this issue numerous times with my now 9yo ds. What finally worked for us was removing myself from the equation. He is given a list of specifics to accomplish, some of which can be accomplished on his own, some of which need my help. I let him know when I will be free to help him, and he must then plan around that. It gives him the freedom to get it done on his own time, without me nagging. On the flip side, there are consequences for his not getting it done, such as not getting to go play outside with the neighbor or watch a movie/special activity that his brothers are doing, etc. until it is done. He definately challenged this at first and ended up a few days behind, but we have a group we get together with weekly, so I planned the beginning of the approach in order to give him a couple of days notice, but with the warning that if work wasn't complete, he wouldn't be going. It is hard to take away the things that he loves and I know are positive, but it only took a couple of times and he decided it was eaiser to just get it done. Now when I say "Time for science/history" he is agreeable, because he knows that when I might get to it next will be the exact time he wants to go out and play.

It may be a bit harder to do this with an almost 2nd grader, but modify it so that he has some control, and set the limits to work for you (such as done by lunch time or...)

Good Luck and stick with it, it won't be the last time you have such a situation with him, but it is all worth the effort!

[momof4boys]

One more quick thought, something else that has worked well is to have a list of activities/assignments posted at the beginning of the day so that he can check them off as we go along. It becomes more of a challenge to start quickly with the finish line in sight.