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ereks mom

Mom of a high school senior -- why am I so emotional about this??? Anyone else???

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Most of the time I am okay, but today I just felt weepy and sad all day! Maybe it's because our weather has been cloudy & dreary all week long, and I'm a bit hormonal, AND I am so tired because we've been extremely busy.

 

I've had a song stuck in my head all day -- Mark Harris's Find Your Wings, and the line that keeps playing over and over in my mind is "it was only for a moment you were mine to hold..." I just cannot believe how fast the years have flown, and my "baby" is about to graduate! I find myself wishing I had savored the moments just a little bit more... Now I'm crying again....

 

Just tell me I'm not the only one!

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You are definitely not the only one! My youngest will be a senior next year. When his older brother reached that milestone, I kept remembering those old commercials that featured a Harry Belafonte song called "Turn Around." I think it may have been for Kodak? Anyway, just thinking about it now makes me cry, and oldest graduated 5 years ago.

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You are not alone :grouphug:

 

My kids are only 13 and 11, but I have noticed that I am suddenly seeing toddlers everywhere -- just everywhere -- and they are so much cuter than they were even just a year ago. I keep having memories pop up of my kids' preschool days, how halcyon those years seem now. I think I will be right where you are now when mine are seniors.

Karen

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:crying: Oh man, now you got me crying.

 

You should put a warning on the subject or something like "ensure your tissue box is near by, you might needed" or "Warning, strongly emotional" or "Warning, not responsible for your tears".

 

Dear me, let me find some nice music and think about something else.:lol: And once I thought that I was gonna be able to handle it, the truth is out. You definitely are not:grouphug:alone.

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:grouphug:Where's a good huggy smilie when you need one?

 

As Dory would say: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...... Mine's only a tenth grader and I'm already starting to fret over this (but he seems to be doing it, too, so I'm not alone, LOL)......

 

 

Regena

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Oh man, I know what you are talking about. Mine is a rising senior and so we are beginning to see the end in sight. One more year. One more year. It's not enough, I need more time.

 

Yeah, I will be a basket case this time next year.

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Okay, can I admit here that I can't get worked up about mine leaving? I had my emotional meltdowns last year, but now that it's here, it just seems to be TIME. Just this evening as we were cleaning up the wet, matted coffee grounds left in the sink, in the sink, on the floor, under the coffee maker, and down the cabinet fronts (what did she DO????), dh and I were rejoicing that in only 4 more months she will go torment her roommate instead.

 

It helps though that she will be living 45 minutes away and will likely be home every weekend for sustenance, free use of the washer, and her sister's chocolate chip cookies.

 

Hugs to you, though. Feel good :)

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My dd left for college last September. I miss her all the time. She calls for about an hour every other night -- we are SO blessed! -- and I look forward to that time more than I can say.

 

Our kids aren't really ours, though -- they were loaned to us for a while, and then we need to let them go. It's so hard.

 

I heard a quote last fall -- maybe someone can help me get it right -- something like "Don't have kids if you don't want your heart outside of yourself"

 

And why does everyone talk about diaper-training and the terrible two's, but NO ONE talk about the pain involved when the kids leave?

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Okay, can I admit here that I can't get worked up about mine leaving? I had my emotional meltdowns last year, but now that it's here, it just seems to be TIME. Just this evening as we were cleaning up the wet, matted coffee grounds left in the sink, in the sink, on the floor, under the coffee maker, and down the cabinet fronts (what did she DO????), dh and I were rejoicing that in only 4 more months she will go torment her roommate instead.

 

 

 

 

I will admit that we felt that way with our last one. She left messes like that for me and if confronted acted as if she was somehow exempt from expectations. I was pretty glad to see her go. I am always glad for her to stop in for some "real food", but I am glad she has her dorm to go "home" to. We get along much better when we don't reside under the same roof.

 

This next one will be harder to let go. She's a different kid altogether.

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but I can foresee it in my future.

 

Oldest ds is working at a camp this summer, so when he leaves in June, he won't be home again for more than a few days at a time until Christmas!:crying:

 

I'm going to miss him terribly, but honestly I think it will be torturous for his two brothers, especially my youngest ds. He hangs on M. and is devoted to him. It will make for an interesting adjustment...

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Guest Virginia Dawn

I've been going through this for a year. I will miss my ds tremendously. Thankfully I've had time to get used to him not being home all the time because he works and goes to cc.

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I can't bear to think about it. The older one has to leave his dog behind, his angel dog who has done more to grow him up than anything we ever did, I think. He'll be half a day's drive away. It breaks my heart.

-Nan

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When my first graduated HS I was fine (also was preg. with my 7th). When it came time for him to go to college he was commuting which wasn't bad and I was fine. When he switched to a college 5-6 hours away. Oh My! The day he told me I cried and cried. when he actually left I laid on his bed and sobbed. He also had gone to the Czech Republic for 4 months and that was horrible. The week before he came home was almost Christmas and I sat in church and cried. We may have talked to him about 4 times. He is graduating this year and believe me it does get better. My 2nd left for college and I cried a little. The 3rd is here living with us and commuting and working with dh. But, after next year he may decide to go into the military or become a police officer. He's not sure yet. I'm sure when that happens I will be in tears. Boy, do I have a long way to go still!!

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Now that'sit's morning and I have had my coffee, I choose to look at the brighter side --

 

When my dd calls, I hear an increasingly self-confident, successful young lady on the other end of the phone. She is overcoming challenges, meeting fascinating people, making wonderful friends, seeing new places, and stepping up to her adult life.

 

Yes, I miss her -- like crazy. But I SO rejoice in watching her grow and hearing of her wild adventures and her amazing successes.

 

Dd actually had a vERY hard time leaving for college. Last year we were members of a church where almost none of the late teens-early 20's crowd left home. The emphasis was on girls babysitting and preparing for marriage by developing homemaking skills. Dd received lots of discouragement from attending college and was really starting to think twice and thrice about it. (We have since left the church because we don't want to go through that experience again with our younger dd.) Dd is SO glad that she did go away from home!

 

Dd won't even be home this summer, and I am facing the fact that she will probably never live at home again. :glare: But I rejoice that she is stepping out and establishing her own life, and I treasure her emails and phone calls.

 

When I really miss her, I think about the alternative -- do I want her living at home, scared to go out on her own? Of course not!

 

I never realized, though, how hard letting the fledglings leave the next would be.

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Aha! Glad I'm not the only one. There are days when I wish fall were here! My oldest is a total delight, never a problem, has his head on straight, but it is so obvious when he's been home...there is a trail from the door throughout the house. His belt gets pulled off in the laundry room, shoes in the living room, violin lands in the entryway, bookbag in the kitchen, and on and on. And he totally disrupts the schooling of the other boys - tosses the football, wants to play pool, etc. because he is on a completely different schedule now.

 

I enjoy so much the time I have to chat with him that I hate to spend it nagging him about his stuff. I see him becoming a man and he's itching to take on the world. He's a homebody, though, so I know I'll see a lot of him or he'll call a lot. That will help...

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It might not be forever bad. My sisters and I (and more importantly, our husbands) have chosen to live in the same or next town as our parents. My husband and I lived with them for a year after we were married. My father took care of me when I was pregnant with each of my 3. He toilet trained my oldest. We joked that he got to be Dad when I was growing up, and he got to try being Mum when I was pregnant. I went to their house once a week for the day when my children were little. I did my laundry and got a nap and my mother fed us all dinner and kept me from doing anything too stupid parenting-wise. It was lovely. When I began homeschooling, my father began taking one of the children one afternoon a week to help him with his house projects. He is currently providing a place and a bit of tutoring to my oldest as he retakes algebra to get into college. We spend lots of weekends there. My mother came to my house almost every day the year I built my Japanese garden. She is an avid gardener and we had a wonderful time. And the best part of all is that we've been sailing together for weeks at a time in the summer. My sisters have similar stories. And our husbands. I don't know how many projects my husband and my father have done jointly. They are very close. I think sometimes that they wouldn't mind a bit more peace, but in general, they are happy we are so close and they've gotten to spend so much time with their grandchildren. I guess parenting doesn't have to stop when the child grows up. Now I'm learning about how to grow old from my mother, when she's not helping me to figure out what to do with my teenagers or how to organize a church supper or how to trim my roses or who that strange-looking duck is.

-Nan

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Honestly, I understand how you feel. I was very emotional when we dropped my oldest dd off at college. I had a difficult time letting go of that stage of life where all my kids were at home, and I had a decent amount of input into what was going on. I literally had to grieve for a few days.

 

Fast forward. My daughter moved back home two years later to finish college as a commuter student, and the same month her fiancee from across the country moved in with us, as well. We'd invited the fiancee, but didn't expect the daughter to have to move back home! :001_huh: I have four other children living at home in a smallish house. The fiancee was suppose to have his own room, but my dd got that (since she was going to school) and he ended up sharing a not-so-large room with my two teen boys. Culture shock for him, let me tell you!

 

That was almost three years ago! My daughter graduates for NC State in May and gets married the following weekend. And guess what? They will be living with us for a few more months after that while she starts working! :blink: Oh joy! Oh rapture!

 

Seriously, we've enjoyed them here and I know it will change soon enough, but I honestly can't say I'm going to cry when they leave or when my next few take off. Maybe when my baby leaves I'll feel it more. But right now, an empty house sometimes looks like a gift!

 

Blessings!

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When my son went away this fall, I grieved for a long time. The fact that he is happy and thriving does make it a bit easier to take but we do still miss him.

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I am so very thankful that all of you wonderful moms are sharing your hearts on this subject. Sometimes I feel as if I am the only one going through the pains of children leaving the nest. Most homeschooling moms I know have little children.

My oldest graduates in May from college in another state. He will be staying there and working full time, and I have had to come to grips with the fact that he will probably never live at home again as another poster put it. My second oldest son is leaving to go to Liberty University next fall, so that will be my second child away from home. I am so thankful that I have 3 daughters left at home, but 2 of them are 10th graders this year. I don't have much time left with them either.

Maybe it is so hard because we as homeschooling moms spend so much time with our kids that it is hard to be without them. I am happy for my sons who are thriving and doing well and they need to grow up and be successful, but the rest of us at home really miss them.

Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone in my feelings!

Mary Jo

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We're still in college decision mode but I can see that coming up here very soon. I'm trying not to think of that yet and just stressing over where DD will be in the Fall.

 

Sylvia

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Thanks, all! Things have been a bit better the past couple of days. When the melancholy sets in, which it occasionally does, it's just hard to shake!

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