What is an acceptable amount of time or hour of day for teens to hang out?

[lynn]

Either at your house or friends house? Do you anticipte feeding them lunch, dinner stay the night? At what time do you say goodbye see you tomorrow or next week? What do you expect from your kids (14/15year olds) hanging out at friends house. Do you expect them home for dinner?

 

This is all new to us this summer and was wondering what others think? Would you call the parents of the kids they are hanging out with and get their thoughts?

[QueenCat]

I like it when teens hang out at my house during school breaks and weekends. I keep lots of snacks around so they will stay.... and have no problem feeding them if they want to stay for a meal or two. I do ask they call their parents to let them know, and expect the same of mine. It is money well spent when I get to know the kids my kids hang out with! Better than a meal out or a movie!

[LibraryLover]

Lately, my 16 yr old has been having friends over on Fri or Sat night from about 7-11. I put out tortilla chips, popcorn, salsa, bottles of water. It seems to be fine. Some of the kids drive and some are dropped off/picked up. I like that they come here. They watch movies, play fooseball, play Guitar Hero or other Xbox games. Mostly, I hear a lot of deep, loud boy laughter. lol I've had kids for dinner at times. In that case, I grill beef dogs (summer), or plan soup or stew (winter).

 

During the summer day? My 16 yr old vounteers at the library and is a couselor -in-training for a local day camp. I don't host many day time gatherings.

[m0mmaBuck]

Obviously it depends on the friends, but DSS has a couple of friends that will come on a Friday and stay until Saturday afternoon. He/they ask first and obviously we feed them, lol. We are friends with their parents so what comes around goes around.

 

Daytime: We let them hang out in 3-4 hr increments and then there needs to be contact with the parents to either a visit.

 

Evenings: If DSS is going to play D&D or to a LAN party we expect him home by midnight. He is 18 though. When he were 14-15 he needed to be home by 7:30 p.m.

[Peri]

I like it when teens hang out at my house during school breaks and weekends. I keep lots of snacks around so they will stay.... and have no problem feeding them if they want to stay for a meal or two. I do ask they call their parents to let them know, and expect the same of mine. It is money well spent when I get to know the kids my kids hang out with! Better than a meal out or a movie!

 

I so agree!

[RoughCollie]

I'll feed whoever is here, any time.

 

I stay in touch with the parents of my kid's friends. It's important, IMO, that the parents know one another and know what is going on.

 

We live far from town, so if we are taking the friend home, we decide when that will be. It is usually based on how tired DH is because I can't drive at night. At any rate, I don't like it when the kids' friends are here after 9:30 or so on a weekend and after 6:30 on a school night. We do not allow sleepovers.

Edited May 24, 2010 by RoughCollie

[Peela]

Ds14 hangs out with kids in the street, particularly a pair of brothers. Comes home by dark. Sometimes does a sleepover or has a kid over here for the night. Is often out all day and we have no idea where- but we do know who he is with and feel ok about it. His friends' house is his 2nd home and they love him- the parents too. He is the oldest kid in the street and is the "leader". He often eats meals at his friends' house but his friends have never eaten here. I guess we are not so "friendly" in that way. I dont find it easy cooking for other kids and need some time to prepare.

 

Dd15/16 has no friends locally. She will catch public transport to meet various friends at various places in the city. She has a phone and stays in touch (unlike ds who doesn't have a phone). She tells me where she is going and who she is with. She is also home by dark. She also sometimes has a friend over for a sleepover, or goes elsewhere for a sleepover, but so far, no sleepovers at friend's places I am not familiar with and she has lots of friends- some of whom I don't know so well).

If friends are over for the day- sure, we do meals. Bur rarely dinner unless its a sleepover, and we don't tend to do evenings unless its a sleepover. Generally daytime hours are 9 to 5 or 6ish- pick up before dinnertime.

 

My dd is very social and although she catches public transport during the day, I wont let her past dark, so it is up to me to get her (dh works evenings). So...I am someone who goes to bed early. I am generally not happy picking up dd past 10pm and would not be happy with an 11pm pick up generally speaking. She often has meetings on in the evenings, related to committees she is on, and she knows she has to arrange times to fit with me as well as other committee members.

[5KidzRUs]

We have no real limit - as long as they are doing something productive/constructive. It is amazing how that cuts down on wasted time and bad influences.

On the other hand, well behaved kids are welcome at our home for unlimited time too.

[Heather in AL]

This is such a timely post for me, as my newly 15y/o ds is suddenly 'hanging with friends'. I'm not sure what happened all of a sudden (turning 15?? Turning 15 with summer vacation looming?? Meeting a great bunch of kids?? A bit of everything??), but it seems like we can't keep track of the plans being made.

 

Since this is new territory for us, the replies on this thread has been most helpful!!

 

So this doesn't become a hijack, I'll tell you our plans~~ We are planning to just 'roll with it' for a while and see how things evolve. Since there isn't a lot for teens of any age to do locally (and a dearth of public transport!) I am planning to have some food on hand to feed extra mouths if necessary. I would much rather have a few extra mouths to feed here at the house than to wonder where these kids are wandering & what possibly mischief they are getting into. This may change, but for now, this is our plan.

 

Oh, and after dark hanging out will be at someone's house only... we prefer movies/getting pizza at the outdoor mall to be done during the day as a different element of people seem to hang at that mall at night.

 

As for calling the parents, that's a tough one. I guess it will depend on how well we 'know' the child and what they will be doing/where they will be going. Since none of them drive yet, I plan to 'meet' the parents and 'chat' for a minute or so. I do say, though, when my ds is making plans, 'you'll have to be home by xxx time', or 'you can't stay out for dinner, so be aware of that when making plans', etc.

 

Of course, our 'plans' may not work at all, but for now, it's a start.