Crash Course in getting it all back together??

[Mommyfaithe]

I need a crash course in LIFE. This is NOT living...what I am doing is surviving...putting out fires ....getting done bare minimum and exhausting myself doing it.

Our house is a mess. It is falling apart! (Not dirty or messy...just needs tons of repairs!)

Our finances are a mess

Our school is a mess.

I am a mess

Dh is a mess....

The kids are not scheduled or purposeful.

 

I do not know HOW we got into this shape except for the past 6 years were BIG MAJOR changes...as in caring for sick dying parents, children growing up and out...new babies...beginning our business etc. I am totally over the top overwhelmed, plus I have been dealing with a huge flare-up of Fibro which is not helping.

 

 

I NEED A BOOT CAMP! I haven't even had time for a shower in 5 days!!!!

I need meal plans that do NOT include a phone call.

I need to make reasonable meals for my kids and husband.

I need to organize our stuff (I did de-clutter to the MAX...at least i am not a clutter keeper!)

 

I need lesson plans and ALL my materials TOGETHER.

I NEED a schedule!

 

I need to get it together before it all fallls apart so terribly there is no coming back.

 

Anyone else ever been here before?? How did you pick up the pieces and put them back together and move on from there?

Books? Websites?? Personal Assisstants?? Life coaches?? Super Nanny?? (For me..not the kids...they are pretty good...LOL)

 

SOS

~~Faithe

[scrapbabe]

:bigear: Listening in, because the past 3 years of life changes has sent my world whirling too!

[fairfarmhand]

Anyone you can call to say, "please take my kids (or even just the little ones) for a day or two this week" ?

[freetobeme]

oh, my gosh. . .i was just about to ask about these very thoughts. . .just about 20 minutes ago. . .

 

:grouphug: to you and i'm listenin' in. . .

[JudoMom]

I need a crash course in LIFE. This is NOT living...what I am doing is surviving...putting out fires ....getting done bare minimum and exhausting myself doing it.

Our house is a mess. It is falling apart! (Not dirty or messy...just needs tons of repairs!)

Our finances are a mess

Our school is a mess.

I am a mess

Dh is a mess....

The kids are not scheduled or purposeful.

 

I do not know HOW we got into this shape except for the past 6 years were BIG MAJOR changes...as in caring for sick dying parents, children growing up and out...new babies...beginning our business etc. I am totally over the top overwhelmed, plus I have been dealing with a huge flare-up of Fibro which is not helping.

 

 

I NEED A BOOT CAMP! I haven't even had time for a shower in 5 days!!!!

I need meal plans that do NOT include a phone call.

I need to make reasonable meals for my kids and husband.

I need to organize our stuff (I did de-clutter to the MAX...at least i am not a clutter keeper!)

 

I need lesson plans and ALL my materials TOGETHER.

I NEED a schedule!

 

I need to get it together before it all fallls apart so terribly there is no coming back.

 

Anyone else ever been here before?? How did you pick up the pieces and put them back together and move on from there?

Books? Websites?? Personal Assisstants?? Life coaches?? Super Nanny?? (For me..not the kids...they are pretty good...LOL)

 

SOS

~~Faithe

 

Stop putting out the fires and start eating the elephant. This is how I would handle it:

 

Have your dh watch the kids, or let the kids watch the kids and you go to Starbucks and make some lists. It looks like you've got a few main areas: House, Finances, & School (along with meals). Make a list for house, a list for finances, & a list for school. Then prioritize within each list (for repairs, list what you can do, what your dh can do, and what you need someone else to do). Then set aside the weeks you need to conquer the lists. I would conquer the house list, then the finance list, and then the school list. Enlist your kids where possible. I would need to stop school (except for what was absolutely necessary) during this time.

 

For meals, make a list of meals, and decide when you are going to shop. I shop once a week. The day before you shop, sit down and decide which meals you are going to make for the next week and make a shopping list of everything you'll for the week. Do not shop on any other days (unless it's a true emergency). Doing so will only cost you money & time.

 

The final bit of the elephant is to create your schedule. I would do this at the end, because I would be able to see more clearly.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Lara in Colo]

Learn to decide what can wait and what needs to be done now. Group the needs together.

Look at your life and see what is constantly done over and over and over and try and stop this. For instance--I can throw away the same thing 4-5 times--someone will always dig it out of the trash. (even DH) Now I break it, or stuff it way down on the bottom. This sounds trivial but when you go crazy thowing away the same mismatched sock or barbie shoe 5 times, you learn.

In the summer when I can clean the bathroom 4 times a day of dirt and mud (from small people washing hands) I started to keep a bowl and towel outside on the deck.

If I pick up the same toy 100 times--trash. They can learn.

Organization is key. This does not mean $7000.00 in plastic bins..... I keep all the bandaids in a shoebox, with the peroxide, the cream, the cotton balls etc.. Now when we have an owie--we get the box---no time wasted with searching for all the stuff. I don't know how much of our lives is wasted looking for stuff to do stuff--but its a lot (even in an organized home). I still hate hate hate to do a home project because something is always missing, not charged or broken.

Try to stop the little leaks of time in your life, then move on to the little leaks of money. It's the littles that kill us.

 

Lara

[Liz CA]

I am a list maker. The funny thing is that as soon as I start a list, I can think more clearly. I categorize (like Judo Mom suggested) and things fall into place. I mean, in my head they fall into place as well as on paper and I feel less overwhelmed and mentally cluttered.

Then see what needs attention first and work on it until it is no longer an emergency. Now go to the second most important thing and so forth.

If you have to and even if you hate to do it, buy some freezer meals that just need thawing every night. For one week it can be done without killing anybody and you can take that one week off from meal planning until you get a handle on the lists and the other - more important - issues. Once they are dealt with, you mind will be feel free to think of some recipes, lesson plans, etc.

[silliness7]

I feel like I am in the process of digging out from a disorganized mess too. I started with lists, like what was suggested previously. Mine was simple. I wrote one big TO DO list. It wasn't everything that needed doing, by any means, but it was a start for mental sanity and peace of mind.

 

However, what really helped me was to get back on schedule. Knowing WHEN to do something was more important for my psyche than even knowing WHAT to do.

 

I can get so involved in a project that, on a daily basis I can't even accomplish the basics like shower and fix food and on a weekly basis that I let the laundry and other housework pile up. Then I constantly have this feeling of being behind. Because even though I got my project completed, now I have this mountain of laundry to wash and bathrooms to sandblast and we've been eating frozen food, fast food, or sandwiches for weeks.

 

Your hang-ups probably aren't mine. But that's just to share that I go through these phases from time to time and I'm in one again. Scheduling frees me from my one-track, single-focused mind so that I can stay on top of the laundry, get the errands run efficiently and timely, get decent food on the table, finish up some last minute school we're catching up on and still have time to chip away at my To Do list.

 

I'm trying to train myself not to just jump out of bed and go to it but to take an hour and a half to shower, make my bed, quick wipe my sink and toilet and start ONE load of laundry. Then I sit with my kindergartener for 30 min. and help her with her phonics. Then I sit with my 3rd son and help him memorize his marching band music. Then I have 2 hours to work on my list til lunch. After lunch, I check school work from my oldest 2. Then I start another load of laundry, and fold/put away what was in the dryer...then vacuum, windex, dust, or mop (depending on the day). I can then work on my to-do list some more til 3:30. At which time I have a standing date to take my kids to the park. Home at 4:30 to RELAX for a bit. Start dinner at 5:30.

 

O.K. you get the idea. I haven't figured everything out yet but I feel like I'm making baby steps forward. :001_smile:

 

I hope you find something that works for you. :grouphug:

 

Also I'm trying desperately to be an early to bed, early to riser and limit my computer time...it's hard :tongue_smilie:

[Debora R]

I'll recommend the website that has helped me get a handle on my chaos.....

http://www.flylady.com.

 

It's all about taking baby steps, building routines and getting things done in short bursts.

[hillfarm]

I once read a home organization book that discussed that clutter and chaos occur when your life outgrows your coping and organizing systems. For me that was definitely true. When I was a single 20-something student, I was extremely organized. But when I became half of a young married couple and our lifestyle changed from academia to real life, I kept trying to fit everything into the old system and it all got into disarray very quickly.

 

According to the book, the goal is to periodically review your systems and determine what changes need to be made to keep up with your current lifestyle and to jettison things that no longer serve your purposes. When I remember to do this, things smooth out for a while. But when I forget or don't take the necessary time, things slide out of hand at a surprisingly quick pace.

[Food4Thought]

I'll recommend the website that has helped me get a handle on my chaos.....

www.flylady.com.

 

It's all about taking baby steps, building routines and getting things done in short bursts.

 

This is exactly what I was going to say. Flylady has a lot of helpful hints for starting *small* and seeing that you can make it! She also stresses the point that "it didn't take you just a day to get into this mess, so it won't take just a day to get out of it" - however, by taking small steps at a time, you will be back on your feet and in control in no time.

[CLHCO]

Right there with you. This last winter has left my head spinning! You're getting some good suggestions, and I'm :bigear: too, so let us know what you ultimately plan.

 

There is a book out there on Lulu called "Boot Camp for Lousy Housekeepers" that I downloaded not long ago. I'm going to give it a go soon. I'm a flylady flunkie and a few of this book's style ideas rang more to my tastes. I think she has a blog too, so perhaps a search will get you there?

Edited May 23, 2010 by CLHCO
Got the book title wrong!

[ereks mom]

I am a list maker. The funny thing is that as soon as I start a list, I can think more clearly. I categorize (like Judo Mom suggested) and things fall into place. I mean, in my head they fall into place as well as on paper and I feel less overwhelmed and mentally cluttered.

Then see what needs attention first and work on it until it is no longer an emergency. Now go to the second most important thing and so forth.

If you have to and even if you hate to do it, buy some freezer meals that just need thawing every night. For one week it can be done without killing anybody and you can take that one week off from meal planning until you get a handle on the lists and the other - more important - issues. Once they are dealt with, you mind will be feel free to think of some recipes, lesson plans, etc.

 

:iagree:

I am a list maker too, and these suggestions Liz has made have worked for me.

[hsbaby]

Right there with you. This last winter has left my head spinning! You're getting some good suggestions, and I'm :bigear: too, so let us know what you ultimately plan.

 

There is a book out there on Lulu called "Boot Camp for Lousy Housekeepers" that I downloaded not long ago. I'm going to give it a go soon. I'm a flylady flunkie and a few of this book's style ideas rang more to my tastes. I think she has a blog too, so perhaps a search will get you there?

 

 

:iagree: LOVE this book! It didn't just help me to get my house under control, but built in scheduling days, "town" days (to run errands and grocery shop, etc.). I had my cute little notebook with my "To Do" list ready to go every morning. We went on vacation last month and I fell off the bootcamp wagon:( I really need to start back up....having my nice little lists relieved so much stress and anxiety! Hope you find something that helps you!!

[usetoschool]

We were like this a few years back and me being unhappy and stressed changed the mood in the whole house. It helps to get yourself calm and happy first - eat right, try to get rest, take your vitamins, go for a walk or whatever. When mom is happy things run more smoothly. Then sit down with your family and decide on the one (one, only one - no more!) thing that is bugging everyone the most and solve it. The rest of the stuff is chaos anyway so it isn't going to be any worse to let that stuff keep limping along while you fix the one problem. Trying to fix everything at once just makes it worse. Make sure that problem is really truly once and for all fixed before you move on. One bite at a time. After awhile things start to kind of snowball in a positive way.

 

 

Things have been better before and will be better again. You can do it.:thumbup:

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I'll recommend the website that has helped me get a handle on my chaos.....

www.flylady.com.

 

It's all about taking baby steps, building routines and getting things done in short bursts.

 

 

 

:iagree:I have a friend who is pregnant with baby number 8 who swears by flylady! They homeschool, live in a TINY house and it has made a world of differene for them!!!

[nono]

:grouphug:

 

For the house, get vinyl spackle and learn how to use it*. It is amazing the amount of things I fixed with it (on an 80 yr old house). Same for a caulk gun and regular old caulk. Plus, teach the kids how to use both of them!

 

Also, the whole aging parent care thing is so overwhelming from a time perspective. People who haven't experienced it have no idea how much it knocks your routine off-kilter. Think about this: if you did one less thing per day due to caring for your parents, how many things is that?? :001_huh: Yeah, so you can't fix this in a few days or by reading a website, no matter how great its suggestions. You need to gain traction steadily and have the patience to get it all back together. Do the list making and meticulously keep track of your progress.

 

I'm just pulling out of this situation myself. All I can tell you is you can get there. What you are experiencing now tells me it is time for you to start. You are now ready!

 

ETA: I wrote this when I was tired. I didn't mean you didn't know how to use spackle. I meant learn how the vinyl kind handles, as it is different than other materials I've used.

 

Also, since I'm here editing, I would put "Take a shower" on my list. Every day. Until it's routine again. I always feel more willing to take on the world if I'm showered.

Edited May 23, 2010 by nono

[Stacia]

Could you get a mother's-helper or babysitter regularly for a week? Then, use the time to yourself to rest, clear your mind a bit, come up w/ a plan, & start to get a few small things done.

 

Once things get rolling, don't hesitate to use a mother's helper or babysitter every week or couple of weeks, even if it's just for you to do nothing but take a breather. Your rest & well-being need to come first before you can tackle anymore, imo.

[redheadeddaughter]

Could you get a mother's-helper or babysitter regularly for a week? Then, use the time to yourself to rest, clear your mind a bit, come up w/ a plan, & start to get a few small things done.

 

Once things get rolling, don't hesitate to use a mother's helper or babysitter every week or couple of weeks, even if it's just for you to do nothing but take a breather. Your rest & well-being need to come first before you can tackle anymore, imo.

:iagree:It sounds like you are a fine housekeeper... and that you've been through a tremendous number of stressful events the past year or so. Plus the "starting a business" thing. Yes. That might make me a little high strung. And aging parents. That one hit our family really hard this year too. A grandmother, a step dad, and a father. All in one year. I took a bunch of school time off and I still felt behind in everything and couldn't keep up with basic meals. Can you say peanut butter and jelly. And goldfish. And other stuff I had previously looked down upon from my high and lofty perch. And I have only two children. So IMHO you are being awfully hard on yourself.

 

That said, there is a ton of great advice here! :)

[....]

I like what Judomom suggested - make coffee and make lists. Also, make lists for the older kids. I have stickies with chores written on them that hang on their door. Every morning, the older two kids go down the stickies and knock out the stuff that needs to be done. It's actually helping me out a lot.

 

Money? www.daveramsey.com I swear by this Total Money Makeover. It basically saved my life. We were unemployed for 7 months a had no repos, no foreclosures, etc. We were OK and it was all because I follow Dave's baby steps. It's difficult to follow at first and goes against our culture's view of money, but it is very effective.

 

Good luck! :001_smile:

[PineFarmMom]

According to the book, the goal is to periodically review your systems and determine what changes need to be made to keep up with your current lifestyle and to jettison things that no longer serve your purposes. When I remember to do this, things smooth out for a while. But when I forget or don't take the necessary time, things slide out of hand at a surprisingly quick pace.

 

 

I'm in this process right now!! When I had child #4 and no teens and we stayed home together more I had a system that worked amazingly well. That system is not working now with #5 being an infant and me having a teen who has somewhere to be nearly daily.

 

I purchased MOTC ;) After reading the book and thinking about Flylady, having a schedule, menu planning, etc., I realize that I "have" the tools to make it work and really didn't need another book. I just need to take those tools and rework things to fit the life we have NOW because it doesn't work the same as before.

 

Milovani sent a cool link earlier in the week to a beautiful orthodox blog about kitchen and home and it inspired me. I've been mentally working out a menu/chores/school plan based on a 6-week rotation, and that blog helped me put it together somewhat. I'm almost done with my menu. I'll go next into my chores, then school by the end of summer. I'm hoping to get us "flying" fully with all of it by August.

 

For me, when I evaluated things I realized that my kids' lifestyles are too active and fun-filled for me not to require more of them than I do. I wind up doing so much cooking, driving, planning, grading, educating, baby-nurturing, that I'm frazzled and scattered. Like I said, though, the chores and their responsibilities are next on my plan. ;)

[CalicoKat]

:bigear: Listening in, because the past 3 years of life changes has sent my world whirling too!

Reading "Heaven Help the Home" has really helped me lately. :grouphug:

[Poke Salad Annie]

What about approaching things in the Dave Ramsey "Debt Snowball" attack way, except apply it to your home (well, even finances if you so choose). For example, start at the smallest task to be done, conquer that, then move on to the next smallest task, and so on. It should give you a feeling of accomplishment just after crossing off the first few things to be done, and maybe it would build momentum from there. If everyone chips in on the work, it would go quickly, at least once you make the list to start it all off.

 

It's just too overwhelming to look at everything as one big mess, and it's not good for your morale at all. Start small and conquer that, then keep going. Maybe it will work for you.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I'll recommend the website that has helped me get a handle on my chaos.....

http://www.flylady.com.

 

It's all about taking baby steps, building routines and getting things done in short bursts.

 

I was just going to recommend flylady too. She points out that you didn't get in this state overnight and you won't get out of it over night. I find her approach very encouraging.

[swimmermom3]

First, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

This is exactly what I was going to say. Flylady has a lot of helpful hints for starting *small* and seeing that you can make it! She also stresses the point that "it didn't take you just a day to get into this mess, so it won't take just a day to get out of it" - however, by taking small steps at a time, you will be back on your feet and in control in no time.

 

I love FlyLady and she has saved my backside on more than one occasion; however, you may or may not be up to going through a website or book and gleaning information. The idea of "starting small" is key. Those of us with perfectionist tendencies always want to start big and dramatic. This usually adds to the problem.

 

My starting point for when things get out of hand is the small, vintage desk in my room that also serves as my nightstand. I empty everything out of it and off of it, leaving only the bare necessities. The wood gets polished; the glass protective top gets cleaned. The "stuff" gets put in plastic bins and temporarily stashed. I put one or two inspirational things on it, a yellow legal pad with pen, and my planner. This allows me to have one small corner of my world that isn't overwhelming. The legal pad contains only the top 5 most pressing pigs on my truck. Nothing gets added until those things are gone. This narrows done my focus. Otherwise I am trying to fix everything at once and you just can't. Dumping my desk satisfies my need for an instant and dramatic change.

 

 

We were like this a few years back and me being unhappy and stressed changed the mood in the whole house. It helps to get yourself calm and happy first - eat right, try to get rest, take your vitamins, go for a walk or whatever. When mom is happy things run more smoothly. Then sit down with your family and decide on the one (one, only one - no more!) thing that is bugging everyone the most and solve it. The rest of the stuff is chaos anyway so it isn't going to be any worse to let that stuff keep limping along while you fix the one problem. Trying to fix everything at once just makes it worse. Make sure that problem is really truly once and for all fixed before you move on. One bite at a time. After awhile things start to kind of snowball in a positive way.

 

Things have been better before and will be better again. You can do it.:thumbup:

 

See, narrow focus. Once I've cleaned off my desk, I keep it cleaned off, complete my 5 tasks, and walk for 15 minutes a day. It's so small and doesn't take a lot of my time but it does snowball. I may operate at this level for a couple of days or a couple of weeks. By then, some of my energy has returned and I am thinking more clearly.

 

One thing I am careful to do is "start in the present." That looks like this:

 

If several weeks of school papers have built up, I put it all away in plastic bins and remove it from my sight. From that day forward, I deal with today's papers today.

 

If I haven't filed the massive quantity of paperwork that flies through here for a while, it goes in plastic bins out of site. From that day forward, I deal with the mail as it comes in. A small wicker basket under my desk in the bedroom contains only two file folders: to do and to file. The "to do" happens on my 5 things list and the "to file" gets filed at one sitting on Saturdays after practice or meets.

 

When things are going more smoothly, I take 15 minute increments a couple days a week and work through the "past." What I like about "starting in the present" is that you are immediately re-instating good habits. You aren't waiting until you filed three years of paperwork, eliminated 2 years of debt, and cleaned every inch of your office with a toothbrush.

 

Faithe, you know all this stuff and I know you are super competent. This situation will pass. Kick those big, fat piggies off the truck one at a time and don't let them back on no matter how much they squeal.:D And know that we are here for you.:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

Yeah, I'm going to start a revamp of our lives very soon. Money, house, schedule, school. I'd have to get too personal if I told you how things got to this point. I hope you understand. What I'm going to do for each aspect of our life I can tell you about.

 

Monday and Tuesday are going to be spent with the house. I don't have any major repairs but I do have a great honkin' mess. So those two days will be spent decluttering and deep cleaning each room of the house. (Everything comes out of each room, the floors, walls, windows, wood get cleaned. The furniture gets cleaned and polished. The only thing that goes back into the rooms is only stuff that belongs to that room.)

 

Wednesday is sort of a break day. I'll spend most of the day on my booty with paper and calendar for the scheduling of the family - daily, weekly, monthly and for the season. I'll probably spend the next few weeks tweeking the schedule so that by the start of school I'll have a good idea of what works for us so I can have a master school schedule.

 

Thursday is going to be budget day. I've got make sure dd is otherwise occupied. Then I will be busy with paper, calculator and all the bills. I'll make a schedule for pay off for both vehicles and the mortgage. After we paid off the small stuff last fall I let things slide. Now I have to get back to the schedule. We can have the car paid for within 6 months if I'd get on the ball.

 

Friday I'm going to be able to but the basic schedule and the budget together for finishing purchasing curriculum for fall. I'll sit with the books I have already and create lesson plans instead of letting it pile up. That will probably take the bulk of the weekend to finish. I'll stagger out ordering what is left so that I can create lesson plans for each subject as it arrives instead of having a pile of books that need to be seen about two weeks before school starts.

 

All of that is saying you need a plan to get yourself where you want to be. Talk about it with your family have an idea of what you need to basically start with so you can build a plan. Once the plan is built, create a bunch of lists, take a week or two to get things organized so that you can see what the next steps should be. When you are decluttered with a schedule and budget you will have a sense of accomplishment and have a way to continue as you mean to go. Good luck.

[LibraryLover]

Maybe this sounds too simplistic, but whenever I start to feel overwhelmed, I get the kitchen back in order. I clear off the counters, sorting through all the junk and papers. I wash every single dish, and wipe down all appliances. I also reorgnaize the food cabinets, and clean out the fridge. After that, eveything seems easier. Our kitchen/dinning room is our main living area so when there is chaos there, it seems to ripple through the entire house. When order is restored there, it has a positive effect on almost everything else.

 

And this: Go take a shower! :)

Edited May 23, 2010 by LibraryLover

[justamouse]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

You have some serious enormous huge life changes going on. May I offer that reordering your life the way it was before might not be possible? You may need to readjust to your new life, and be fighting that, too.

 

Lists are awesome-even if you're not a seasoned list maker. They're brain dumps. Get it all out of the attic and put it on the paper and you start to think more clearly.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, it seems like you had a lot to deal with and you did the best you could. Don't expect to get everything done overnight, I would tackle one project a week. And the meal planning another poster said-that's the way we do it. Do everything you can to stay home as much as possible to get stuff under control.

[CLHCO]

What about approaching things in the Dave Ramsey "Debt Snowball" attack way, except apply it to your home (well, even finances if you so choose). For example, start at the smallest task to be done, conquer that, then move on to the next smallest task, and so on. It should give you a feeling of accomplishment just after crossing off the first few things to be done, and maybe it would build momentum from there. If everyone chips in on the work, it would go quickly, at least once you make the list to start it all off.

 

It's just too overwhelming to look at everything as one big mess, and it's not good for your morale at all. Start small and conquer that, then keep going. Maybe it will work for you.

 

I was just thinking of this, only I'd be more inclined to start with the thing bugging me the most, as someone above mentioned, then "snowball" by starting each day keeping the conquered area clean, then moving on to the next most annoying thing. The following day you keep both conquered areas clean, then move to the next.

 

I think this would work better for me because I don't do baby steps well. I have a poor attention span ;), and I need to hit things hard and fast. If I "see" results immediately, I can keep my head straight on the tasks. If it's little bits, I loose my way again too quickly.

 

Combining this with a notebook, building the checklists as you go, would help to jog the mind on the details that would otherwise be overlooked.

[prairiegirl]

Faithe, :grouphug: you have received some great advice. I am in a similar situation (only my areas of overwhelming are different than yours.) I feel so overwhelmed by all that has to be done. I look at all of my areas of mess and disrepair and I feel paralyzed. I don't know where to begin. I would much rather curl up in a little ball and read all day (actually that is exactly what I did yesterday :001_smile: )

 

Some of the pp already discussed this but I think it is important to make a list of the things that need to be done and then focus on the first thing, or the simplest thing. When you start knocking off a few things on your list, you start to feel like you are back in control and life doesn't seem so overwhelming.

 

Start small. It is all in the baby steps. Again, :grouphug: to you.

[Annabel Lee]

Everyone's already offered great advice, so here's a ((((hug)))).

 

Trivium Academy has meal plans on her blog, complete w/ shopping lists. You could use that as a template and tweak anything your family doesn't eat or sub. in your family's favorites, then adjust the shopping list accordingly.

 

I agree w/ the list-making with emphasis on prioritizing. Once you get it all down on paper you can let your mind relax.

[cat in black]

The thing that saved me years ago was buying the calendar from motivatedmoms.com I think it was $7 and it was the best money I ever spent. The calendar got me on track with the house, homeschooling, and meals thing.

I second Dave Ramsey's book for finances. YOur library is sure to have one of them, it doesn't really matter which one. Your library will also have Tightwad Gazette, which helps in a million ways with cutting costs. Another huge helper was Wendi Meredith's book, The Art of Frugality. She teaches how to save tons of money with coupons and includes lots of tips and recipes for paring dollars from your budget. The recipes for homemade Windex and Shout alone are worth the price of the book. Her idea for a coupon notebook is genius. I THINK her website is artoffrugality.blogspot.com. If that isn't it, you can get a link from her facebook page.

[elfgivas]

(((((faithe))))))

 

it reminds me of the proverbial "emptying the pond while avoiding alligators.

 

fwiw, fast things i've done at various points over the years:

 

music (just playing music that is good for my soul helps in many ways)

turning off media

opening the drapes and letting the sunshine in.

 

tidying one room and keeping it that way. that way, i have a place to hide/rest when its overwhelming.

 

then i try to "weave" one part of our life into the beginnings of a happy whole. i usually start at breakfast.... i plan 5 breakfasts and so i know what we are going to eat. i read to the dc at breakfast. in the early years it was little bear and enid blyton's magic faraway tree and winnie the pooh. then it became little house on the prairie, and now anne of green gables. even the girls in their 20s still want me to read when they're home.

 

somehow, that sets a peace-full tone to the rest of the day. there are days when i read at lunch and dinner, too, because we all need to hit the "re-set" button. picking peaceful books is important....

 

then all the flylady suggestions can make a huge difference. unlike some, the whole program didnt' work for me BUT the idea that i could do anything for 15 minutes was transformative, as was developing routines i could do on autopilot. i can survive if i do dishes every day and laundry every day.

 

and there is a website called largefamilylogistics, and one of her favourite sayings is "just do the next thing". so i do.... mostly ; ).

 

you can do this!

 

of course, tea and chocolate every afternoon helps, too.:grouphug:

 

ann

[Baseball mom]

If you saw my house (and life) right now you would wonder why I am replying. But I found something that helps me feel better and actually get stuff done.

 

Like the others said a list helps. I started making general list either at night before bed for the next day, or the next morning 1st thing.

 

Some days my lists are general lists ;) --- laundry, supper, living room, errands etc.

 

Other days my lists are so detaliled that if anyone saw them they would think I was crazy. :willy_nilly::blink: start coffee maker, clothes in washer, breakfast, breakfast dishes, clothes from washer to dryer, towels into washer, vacuum living room, dust living room, fold clothes from dryer, put clothes away, move towels to dyer, make tea etc.

 

And if I do something that isn't on the list...oh yeah I write it down then mark it off. :D

 

It just helps me keep up with what I need to do and it really does motivate me when I sit down and see all that stuff maked off.

 

YOU CAN DO IT !! YES YOU CAN!! :hurray: Just don't be to hard on yourself. :grouphug:

[BeckyFL]

I'm not feeling so well today and feeling guilty about all that I don't have done and all that I wanted to accomplish this weekend. What I have accomplished is reading this thread and looking up resources mentioned. I just want to say how very much I've enjoyed reading through everyone's posts! It has been a reminder, an encouragement and a motivator for me and I was not even the op! :001_smile:

[Corraleno]

When I start to feel like everything's gotten totally out of control, I pick one category at a time and blitz it, and I don't worry about anything else. For me, momentum is everything, so I need a big dramatic push at the beginning to get me started, or I feel like it will take 10 years to get my life in order and I lose hope. I always clean & organize the house first, because it not only makes me feel much more in control of my life, it also frees up all those hours I previously spent looking all over the house for things that weren't in the right place. This is what I do:

 

Step 1: BOOT CAMP/HOUSE BLITZ

We (as a family) pick one week where we will do NOTHING but clean and organize the house. No school, no playdates, no cooking, nada. DH works from home so he participates, too. If you need help and don't have another adult, or enough older kids who can really help you (as opposed to farting around and complaining most of the time), then hire someone to help just for a week. If you have littles that will be in the way, ask a friend or relative to babysit (you could trade with a friend; they watch your kids one week and you reciprocate next month while they blitz their house).

 

I draw up a schedule for the week, focusing on one or two rooms each day, and then we all work our butts off in those rooms on the assigned day. Prioritize the tasks and only do as much as you can get done in one day — you don't want to get to the end of the week and realize you spent 5 days reorganizing your kitchen cabinets and pantry, and the rest of the house is still a pit. (Ask me how I know :rolleyes: )

 

During "Blitz Week," meals are instant, no-mess things like cereal, quick sandwiches, and take-out/eat-out/frozen pizza/whatever for dinner. We use paper plates, and disposable utensils & cups so there are NO pots/pans/dishes to clean up — the 2 hours that would have been spent cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards can be spent on other cleaning tasks. Over the course of a week, that's an extra 14 hours you can devote to those cleaning jobs that never get done otherwise, and no one will die from eating Cheerios & Chinese take-out for a week (says this normally organic/whole-food/cooking-from-scratch mom).

 

At the end of the week, you'll all be exhausted, but the house will be clean and organized and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take everyone out to dinner, or get ice cream sundaes or go to a movie or do something to celebrate all that hard work.

 

Step 2: SET UP A LAUNDRY SYSTEM

While you're cleaning and organizing each kid's room, go through the clothes and get rid of anything that's too small/stained/etc, and pack up out-of-season clothes. Do not put 7 pairs of too-short jeans with ripped knees back in the drawers figuring you will eventually make them into cut-offs — cut the bottoms off 2 pairs right then while you have them in your hands and throw the rest away.

 

Put each child over the age of 6 in charge of their own laundry, and assign them a laundry day. Seriously. Everyone in my house does their own laundry, including DH and DD7. I decant the liquid laundry detergent into a smaller bottle that DD can use, and both kids know to check pockets and spray stains with Zout before washing. The kids might not be great at folding, but a drawer full of clean, wrinkled tee shirts is better than a pile of dirty wrinkled tee shirts, and it's not any worse than a dryer full of clean wrinkled tee shirts that mom forget to fold at midnight before collapsing in bed, right? Sometimes DD's basket of clean laundry doesn't make it from the basket to her drawers, but as long as the basket is in her closet and the clothes are clean, who cares?

 

One thing that made a big difference in the mounds of laundry around here is changing the way I buy clothes for the kids. Instead of buying cute, fancy outfits, I buy really basic things that all go together, and each kid only needs 7-8 everyday outfits and 2-3 nice ones. That way they have to do laundry every week, and it never takes more than 1-2 loads, rather than accumulating a month's worth of dirty clothes that will take 4-6 loads to wash (which, x 4 family members, would equal 16+ loads of accumulated laundry).

 

I also only buy 2 colors of socks for DH & DS (who wear the same size): black and tan. I buy bulk packs of the same brand/style/color at Costco, so all the black socks match each other and all the tan socks match each other, so DH and DS can't complain they haven't got any clean socks when they really just can't be bothered to find matching pairs in a drawer full of 84 mixed brand/style/color socks. For the summer I buy DD half a dozen inexpensive cotton knit sundresses at Target — add underpants and flipflops and she's dressed for the day. Her weekly laundry pile in the summer is so tiny I just throw the dish towels and other odds & ends into her load.

 

Step 3: SCHEDULE (& DELEGATE!) HOUSEWORK

After the house is clean and the laundry is sorted, draw up a schedule that divides the housework fairly among all members. Each person gets jobs appropriate to their abilities and skill level. We have a giant chalkboard on the kitchen wall, and everyone has a checklist of daily tasks for each day of the week. Some jobs are daily (e.g. DD unloads the DW every morning, DS feeds & waters the chickens) and some are done once or twice per week, on assigned days (e.g. each child sweeps the main floors once and vacuums once per week; they each clean both bathrooms once per week; they each do their own laundry, etc.).

 

Step 4: SCHEDULE SCHOOL & ACTIVITIES

Prioritize your subjects and schedule the most important ones first. I had originally scheduled math, English, Spanish, typing/handwriting, logic, etc. for the mornings, alternating easy and difficult subjects, and I saved history and science for the afternoon. Unfortunately, that meant that any time something came up (math took forever, the phone rang 14 times that morning, I had to run to the PO or grocery store that afternoon, etc) history & science didn't get done. So now we do math every morning no matter what, followed by English and science, then history. If something gets bumped, it's going to be Spanish or logic or handwriting or something less essential, not biology!

 

Step 5: SCHEDULE ERRANDS & GROCERY SHOPPING

Try to schedule all grocery shopping and errands for one day per week, and schedule time the previous night for meal planning and list making. I do my errands on Tuesday afternoon, because that's the day we have trash pickup, so I go through the fridge Monday night and throw out anything that's gone bad, and make a list of what we need. We also get our CSA delivery on Wednesday, so I can plan meals around the box content. On the afternoon when I'm running errands, I have the kids watch documentaries or do reading or art work or something they can do independently.

 

Step 6: MINI-BLITZES

Whenever messes start to pile up and I feel like we're slipping under water again, we have a mini-blitz, usually on Saturday morning. We set the timer for a certain number of minutes in each room and we all run around like maniacs cleaning everything we can before the timer goes off. Using the timer turns it into a game, and believe it or not the kids love racing around the house putting things away. For example, I'll scoop up a pile of jackets, hand them to DS and say "Coat closet — Go!" then grab a bunch of mail and paperwork and hand them to DD saying "Daddy's office — Go!" then DS runs back and gets handed plastic bottles "Recycling bin — Go!" etc. If we get the whole house tidied up within the alloted time (usually 3 hours or less), then we go out for ice cream or go to the park for a couple of hours or something.

 

Jackie

[Jayne J]

Here's just one tiny little hint that has helped me in one aspect of homemaking--the weekly menu. I sat down and devoted 20 minutes to creating a meal template for each day of the week and I stick with it--Monday is sandwiches and sides, Tuesday is tacos, Wednesday is homemade pizza, Thursday is chicken and rice, Friday is beans and rice, Saturday is leftovers and Sunday is pasta and sauce. I have variety in each food (ie we can have fish tacos or standard tacos or chicken tacos or soft tacos , we can vary our pizza toppings and use different marinades for the chicken and rice night, etc.) but I have a structure. I don't have to waste mental energy trying to come up with novel dinner ideas or waste money buying last minute/uneeded foods. If you use what your family likes and try to choose quick, easy, economical foods, you can free up a lot of "head space.". I used to spend all kinds of time trying to serve new dinner recipes and different kinds of foods, and when I have the time to do so that is how I like to cook, but when the pinch comes, this really saves me. No guilt about unhealthy or expensive meals, but no stress about what to make. Which leaves me free to feel guilty and stressed about everything else...:D

[Guest Puritanmama]

Bootcamp for Lousy Housekeepers

 

 

:D