Not ready for 9th grade

[Willow]

My ds is 13, will be 14 in July. He shows no signs of puberty yet, is the youngest child in the family, and is 'young' for his age. He would make a great 12 and a half year old!

 

I don't think he is ready for High School work. He is reasonably bright, but does not yet have the concentration and commitment for High School. He also has difficulty with the physical act of writing, and is working hard this year on this.

 

He has just finished MUS pre-algebra, and is doing an eclectic mix of Ambleside year 7, and some other stuff. Science, half way through Apologia general Science.

 

Would it be possible to take another year in grade 8, and what would be the consequences of this?

[jld]

A friend of mine is doing this with her son. She seems to be very happy with it. They're planning to graduate him at 19. I'm not sure how he feels about it.

[Ester Maria]

Sure, in fact, I would suggest doing it if the intellectual and the emotional maturity of the child does not match the high school work requirements. On the long run, he will not lose anything, in Italy for example plenty of people graduate at 19 years old, and there are no negative consequences down the road for that. Children mature at different ages, boys are also rather prevalent among late bloomers , and giving him an additional year to catch up will not harm him in any way.

[Leonor]

I don't know what state you live in but in Florida we can certainly do that without even holding him back as not having passed a grade.

 

All we have to send annually is a letter by a certified teacher that states that he has made progress according to ability. Here, you can send in that letter and continue to teach him at the level that he is at. We do not have to state a grade for the student.

We can continue to homeschool high school an additional year. In fact, for now that is what I'm doing with my ds13 to be 14 in June.

 

Again, I do not know the regulations of where you live.

However, I would not push him into something he is not ready for. I would work on the skills that he needs to be ready for high school.

JMHO

HTH

[Teachin'Mine]

I think it's a great idea. The consequences will be a more confident, competent high schooler, and a really happy kid who gets to have another year of schooling less intense than what's required in high school. :)

[EKS]

In our state many if not most of the boys turning 14 in July will be entering 8th grade even though the cutoff date is September 1.

Edited May 19, 2010 by EKS

[In The Great White North]

I think it's a great idea. The consequences will be a more confident, competent high schooler, and a really happy kid who gets to have another year of schooling less intense than what's required in high school. :)

 

:iagree: It's a great idea. On one the benefits of homeschooling is that you can easily make accommodations like this. He will have a much more successful high school experience if he is ready for it.

 

Given his age, he will graduate at 18, which is normal - not even on the higher end of normal.

[Musicmom]

Giving him another year before high school sounds like a really wise decision to me.

 

In our area, it's very common for children with summer birthdays to wait an extra year before entering school, for this very reason. In fact, we have friends whose dd was born on the same day as our ds--in June--and they did this. Their dd will be a senior next year (ds is graduating this year), and all seems perfectly normal.

 

We've actually faced a similar thing as well in that ds was academically 1-2 grade levels ahead all through his elementary years, but definitely not ahead in maturity. As we approached high school, we started to realize that maturity-wise, he was not going to be ready to graduate a year early, and we didn't want to graduate him early--he was already pretty young and immature even for his age-grade. So we kind of did 2 years of the same grade as well, right about that 8th-9th grade time-frame. We just gave him the academic material he was ready for and although it seemed weird at the time doing "9th grade" for two years, we worked on making the mental shift in thinking about grade-level, and now... it really doesn't matter anymore. He's where he should be. :001_smile:

 

So, I agree, the only consequences I can see will be greater happiness and security for both you and your ds.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Giving him another year before high school sounds like a really wise decision to me.

 

In our area, it's very common for children with summer birthdays to wait an extra year before entering school, for this very reason. In fact, we have friends whose dd was born on the same day as our ds--in June--and they did this. Their dd will be a senior next year (ds is graduating this year), and all seems perfectly normal.

 

We've actually faced a similar thing as well in that ds was academically 1-2 grade levels ahead all through his elementary years, but definitely not ahead in maturity. As we approached high school, we started to realize that maturity-wise, he was not going to be ready to graduate a year early, and we didn't want to graduate him early--he was already pretty young and immature even for his age-grade. So we kind of did 2 years of the same grade as well, right about that 8th-9th grade time-frame. We just gave him the academic material he was ready for and although it seemed weird at the time doing "9th grade" for two years, we worked on making the mental shift in thinking about grade-level, and now... it really doesn't matter anymore. He's where he should be. :001_smile:

 

So, I agree, the only consequences I can see will be greater happiness and security for both you and your ds.

:iagree: He won't even be graduating "older" since he won't turn 19 until the July after he graduates. My current 8th grade student turned 14 in September and many of his friends in the same grade are older. He's not small (he's 6'1" tall already) but his maturity does NOT match his height;) He's always been advance academically so he was younger. At the end of 6th grade we made the same decision you are now contemplating. He took it very well. He was actually happy about being in 6th grade again and said, "I'll be in 6th grade but I'll have a 7th grade brain.":lol::lol: He'll have time to accomplish a lot in high school to better prepare him for college, and will be more mature when he goes.

[Ellie]

JMHO. :-)

 

Maturity has nothing to do with "9th grade," or even "high school." It is simply an artificial designation for students who have reached a certain year in school.

 

Personally, *I* would not have him repeat a grade. He might be a totally different young man in four years, and then you might be trying to figure out how to graduate him "early," when he really should be graduating on time (graduation has nothing to do with maturity, either).

 

If you fail him now--and that's how it will appear--he'll be a whole year older than most graduates. I wouldn't do it. No way.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

JMHO. :-)

 

Maturity has nothing to do with "9th grade," or even "high school." It is simply an artificial designation for students who have reached a certain year in school.

 

Personally, *I* would not have him repeat a grade. He might be a totally different young man in four years, and then you might be trying to figure out how to graduate him "early," when he really should be graduating on time (graduation has nothing to do with maturity, either).

 

If you fail him now--and that's how it will appear--he'll be a whole year older than most graduates. I wouldn't do it. No way.

 

How is graduating at 18 a full year older than most graduates? Especially considering that there are many boys who turn 19 before they graduate.

[Nicole M]

He also has difficulty with the physical act of writing, and is working hard this year on this.

 

 

Just responding to this bit -- my HS senior son types nearly everything. He has fine handwriting. but is s.l.o.w. There is no reason the physical act of writing should slow a fellow down when typing is a perfectly viable option (except for math, of course). I wouldn't factor his handwriting difficulty into the decision about holding him back.

[Mejane]

My son started K at 6 because of his December birthday. He will be 18 1/2 when he graduates. I see no problem with this, or even with him taking an extra year if he needs it (he's not a scholarly kid.) Doing what's right for my children as individuals is why I homeschool.

[Murphy101]

JMHO. :-)

 

Maturity has nothing to do with "9th grade," or even "high school." It is simply an artificial designation for students who have reached a certain year in school.

 

Personally, *I* would not have him repeat a grade. He might be a totally different young man in four years, and then you might be trying to figure out how to graduate him "early," when he really should be graduating on time (graduation has nothing to do with maturity, either).

 

If you fail him now--and that's how it will appear--he'll be a whole year older than most graduates. I wouldn't do it. No way.

 

Yes and no from my POV.

 

A LOT of teens graduate at 17, so one could day the same of 18 year olds.

 

Personally I agree it's an artificial designation with nothing to do with maturity.

 

However, where a kid is is where a kid is.

If he's ready for algebra then that's what we do.

If he isn't, then he isn't.

 

I plan to divide our transcripts by subject, not academic year. Colleges don't give a flip when you covered what. They just need to know you covered it.

 

So I'm not sure what the OP means by "hold back"?

Are we talking social/emotional aspecs or academic?

 

As far as graduation, when they've completed what I have determined is a complete high school education, I will issue a diploma. Age really doesn't factor into it for me.

[emubird]

My daughter will graduate a year "late" (although she'll still be 18 when she graduates). It's been fine. Colleges haven't cared. However, we never repeated a grade, we just did more along the way. She eased into college classes. She's been doing 2 a semester the past couple years. She's doing 3 this semester. Next year she'll be in college officially. She did enough college classes as a high schooler that she'll be a sophomore when she enters anyway, so it really didn't make any difference. She just didn't get pushed before she was ready.

 

I'd just do whatever your son is ready for right now and make the decision later. The only time it's going to matter is deciding when to be "11th" grade for taking the PSAT for the National Merit qualifications and when to apply to college.

 

And he may surprise you with a lot of emotional growth in the next year.

[Ellie]

How is graduating at 18 a full year older than most graduates? Especially considering that there are many boys who turn 19 before they graduate.

With a July birthday, he would graduate at 17 (if the Offiical Graduation is in June or earlier) and then turn 18 in July. If she fails him a grade, he'll be almost 19 when he graduates. I don't see any point in that for reasons I mentioned in my previous message.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

With a July birthday, he would graduate at 17 (if the Offiical Graduation is in June or earlier) and then turn 18 in July. If she fails him a grade, he'll be almost 19 when he graduates. I don't see any point in that for reasons I mentioned in my previous message.

Yes, but he'd still be 18 and not a full year ahead of most graduating students since most students aren't 17 almost 18. Graduating at 18 is the norm.

[Cedarmom]

I think it is a good idea. Sometimes kids need that extra year. I did it with my son. He will graduate this spring-he is 18. He has matured so much over the last couple of years. He just wasn't ready for higschool attention span until he was almost 15. He did a few community college classes starting last year. He did great-ithink the extra year of maturing helped tremendously.

[Ellie]

Yes, but he'd still be 18 and not a full year ahead of most graduating students since most students aren't 17 almost 18. Graduating at 18 is the norm.

All students whose birthdays are in the summer will graduate at 17 and turn 18 shortly thereafter. Students in states with earlier cut-offs will graduate at 18 but will not have their 19th birthdays until some time after September 1 (I don't know of any states which have cut-off dates earlier than September 1, although of course there could be but for some reason they didn't see fit to tell me, lol.).

 

So, yes, with a July birthday, he'd be older than most other grads, and yes, in some cases, a full year older.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

All students whose birthdays are in the summer will graduate at 17 and turn 18 shortly thereafter. Students in states with earlier cut-offs will graduate at 18 but will not have their 19th birthdays until some time after September 1 (I don't know of any states which have cut-off dates earlier than September 1, although of course there could be but for some reason they didn't see fit to tell me, lol.).

 

So, yes, with a July birthday, he'd be older than most other grads, and yes, in some cases, a full year older.

 

That's not true, at least not where I live. Many parents don't put their boys in K until they are 6 even if they don't have a summer birthday so many graduate at 19. I know more who will graduate at 19 than at 17. Still, my point was that he wouldn't be a full year older than what is the norm. He would be older than some but not a full year older than the "norm."

[Murphy101]

I'm still confused.

Academic or emotional?

Has he "failed" 8th grade or done well this year?

[VBCaroline]

I have a soon-to-be 6th grade boy in the same position, and I am contemplating an "advanced" year at some point before high school. In Virginia, there are plenty of boys with summer birthdays who waited an extra year to start school or whose parents held them back a year somewhere along the way. My son had boys in his cub scout den who were in the same grade in public school but were a whole year or more older than him.

I would have no problems having him repeat a year.

Caroline

[Teachin'Mine]

Would be interesting to ask if anyone who had kids turn 19 the summer after graduation regretted their decision. I don't think you'd get many affirmative replies. All the parents I've spoken with were very happy they allowed their child to be older rather than younger upon graduation. I'm wondering if the resistance is thinking that an "older" student will have a better advantage? I can't think of any other reason why someone would advise you against doing what's best for your son. :confused:

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Would be interesting to ask if anyone who had kids turn 19 the summer after graduation regretted their decision. I don't think you'd get many affirmative replies. All the parents I've spoken with were very happy they allowed their child to be older rather than younger upon graduation. I'm wondering if the resistance is thinking that an "older" student will have a better advantage? I can't think of any other reason why someone would advise you against doing what's best for your son. :confused:

So far I don't know anyone whose child (now adult) has regretted being either almost 19 or 19 when they graduated but know many who regretted graduating at almost 17. Not everybody I know who's graduated at 17 regrets it but at least half that I know IRL will not let their children start school at an age school that will allow them to graduate at 17, which speaks volumes to me. I also think what was the "norm" has changed over the years. When I was in school it wasn't abnormal to graduate at 17 (though it wasn't the norm) but now (where I live) it's definitely outside of the norm to graduate at 17 (especially if you are a boy). It would have been unheard of to graduate at 19 when I was in high school but now many (where I live) graduate at 19.

 

I know it's to my son's advantage to be "advanced" and graduate older (he'll turn 18 the September of his senior year) than to graduate at 17. With public or private school it would be a more difficult decision because grade level does indicate (especially before high school) the level of courses the child will be taking but with homeschooling your child takes whatever courses are best for him/her regardless of age/grade. When my son did 6th grade twice he didn't do the same courses twice. He moved ahead just as if he was going into 7th grade, it was just the label that changed.

[Willow]

I'm still confused.

Academic or emotional?

Has he "failed" 8th grade or done well this year?

 

 

Sorry I have taken so long to get back to you, and thank you for your interesting and insightful replies. I love this forum, I go to bed and when I wake up people have taken the time to consider my question.

 

I am not in the US (at the moment) and HSing here has very few rules.

 

It is more emotional than academic although his poor handwriting and spelling slow him considerably. And yes he can and does type, but he needs to be able to write too. ;) Academically he has done OK, not brilliantly, but he has achieved all that has been required of him. His essays are still very immature, but I assume they will improve over the next 4 years....

 

He is not sure what grade he is at the moment as here the grades are different, so I don't think it would be seen as holding back. I haven't worried about grade designation so far, but I think I need to for High School because of his transcript. I need 4 years of High School of course, so that is why grade designation has become important this year.

 

Thank you again for your thoughtful responses.

 

Willow.

[ereks mom]

Sure, in fact, I would suggest doing it if the intellectual and the emotional maturity of the child does not match the high school work requirements.

...Children mature at different ages, boys are also rather prevalent among late bloomers , and giving him an additional year to catch up will not harm him in any way.

 

:iagree:

[Murphy101]

It is more emotional than academic although his poor handwriting and spelling slow him considerably.

 

Have you intensely and actively taught how to edit? My oldest son is just now at 15 really getting that editing is NOT a punishment - it's just part of the process. And knowing this has helped tremendously with how well and quickly he gets his work done. Just a thought. Poor penmanship and spelling is why even the big dogs of famous writers have editors.:D

 

And yes he can and does type, but he needs to be able to write too. ;)

 

I 100% agree. But it doesn't have to be either or. I make mine do all the rough drafts and editing on paper, the final draft is typed. I have also found that having them skip lines when writing on notebook paper helps them edit faster and reduces how many times they have to copy information to a clean sheet. Just an FYI of what is/has helped us.

 

Academically he has done OK, not brilliantly, but he has achieved all that has been required of him. His essays are still very immature, but I assume they will improve over the next 4 years....

 

YES! He will! Do not expect that he has to be able to write college papers by the time he starts 9th grade! 14 IS immature.

 

I haven't worried about grade designation so far, but I think I need to for High School because of his transcript. I need 4 years of High School of course, so that is why grade designation has become important this year.

 

Nope. It still isn't important. You have to have 4 years worth of educational material, not just 4 years. That leaves a ton of latitude for you to work within. I wouldn't worry about "grade level".

 

Rather than "redo" or "hold back" - I'd just keep working on where he is now and when you are done doing what you are doing, that's when 9th grade begins for that subject.

 

All through the earlier grades everyone is fine with their kid having current grade level math, a writing a year ahead, a history a year below. That does not change suddenly for high school. He is where he is. Once he completes what you feel is 9th grade composition quality, then that is when you add it to the transcript. In the mean time, there's nothing wrong with algebra being done in 9th grade and IF he is ready for it, I certainly wouldn't withhold it from him.

 

There's a lot more to high school than checking boxes for core subjects.

 

I'm finishing up 9th grade with one and starting another in 9th grade right behind him. This is just some of what I wish I'd listened to of the btdt advice some other fine ladies here.

 

Anyhow. I just want to encourage you. 8th grade/9th grade is a rough patch for boys and it appears from reading the board and having 2 there myself, that it's a pretty common path to travel.:grouphug:

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

From what you have said I would be inclined to "label" him 8th grade another year but continue on in his classes. That is what I mean by having him repeat 8th grade. I don't mean repeat all the classes he is taking this year.

[Willow]

From what you have said I would be inclined to "label" him 8th grade another year but continue on in his classes. That is what I mean by having him repeat 8th grade. I don't mean repeat all the classes he is taking this year.

 

 

Yes, as he has passed all his classes it makes no sense to repeat them...and also some things will be 'just carrying on with the book" for example I expect we will finish Apologia General Science around November/December, so then I will just carry on with Physical Science.

 

My older ones are girls and were very mature at this age (academically and emotionally mean :tongue_smilie:) One dd had a short story published in an anthology at 14 for example, ds is just not where they were. He's a great kid, kind, gentle, fun loving, but there is no way he can do what they were doing at his age.

I truly don't mind. He was born with an apgar score of 1, amid major drama. No one knew if he would pull through and then if he would be brain damaged from lack of oxygen.

He wasn't, there are no adverse effects, he is bright, lively and coordinated. He surfs and sails, BUT he has always been a little behind emotionally. The basic 'young for his age' kid.

 

I think I fear that pushing him into an amount of work he is not yet ready for will kill his enthusiasm and love of learning (he is a history buff).

 

Maybe I just won't label him anything, but just record his work. Then I can always do "retrospective" labelling! As in, when he is ready to go off to college I just fill his transcript with what he has done over the previous 4 years regardless of whether he is 17, 18 or 19 at the time! And label the years appropriately.

 

After all, there is no point in going to college until one is ready and one of the girls took a gap year between graduation and college and benefited enormously, so we may encourage that as well.

[Brindee]

Sure, in fact, I would suggest doing it if the intellectual and the emotional maturity of the child does not match the high school work requirements. On the long run, he will not lose anything, in Italy for example plenty of people graduate at 19 years old, and there are no negative consequences down the road for that. Children mature at different ages, boys are also rather prevalent among late bloomers , and giving him an additional year to catch up will not harm him in any way.

 

I think it's a great idea. The consequences will be a more confident' date=' competent high schooler, and a really happy kid who gets to have another year of schooling less intense than what's required in high school. :)[/quote']

 

:iagree: It's a great idea. On one the benefits of homeschooling is that you can easily make accommodations like this. He will have a much more successful high school experience if he is ready for it.

 

Given his age, he will graduate at 18, which is normal - not even on the higher end of normal.

 

Giving him another year before high school sounds like a really wise decision to me.

 

In our area, it's very common for children with summer birthdays to wait an extra year before entering school, for this very reason. In fact, we have friends whose dd was born on the same day as our ds--in June--and they did this. Their dd will be a senior next year (ds is graduating this year), and all seems perfectly normal.

 

We've actually faced a similar thing as well in that ds was academically 1-2 grade levels ahead all through his elementary years, but definitely not ahead in maturity. As we approached high school, we started to realize that maturity-wise, he was not going to be ready to graduate a year early, and we didn't want to graduate him early--he was already pretty young and immature even for his age-grade. So we kind of did 2 years of the same grade as well, right about that 8th-9th grade time-frame. We just gave him the academic material he was ready for and although it seemed weird at the time doing "9th grade" for two years, we worked on making the mental shift in thinking about grade-level, and now... it really doesn't matter anymore. He's where he should be. :001_smile:

 

So, I agree, the only consequences I can see will be greater happiness and security for both you and your ds.

:iagree: That's one reason we homeschool, to meet their needs! IF you push him into 9th grade, with more to do and more pressure when he's not ready for it, it wouldn't be advantageous! Taking it slower and broadening what he's studying will build a stronger base. An extra year often makes a big difference in their maturity level! I think it's a wise choice, actually!

[Murphy101]

Maybe I just won't label him anything, but just record his work. Then I can always do "retrospective" labelling! As in, when he is ready to go off to college I just fill his transcript with what he has done over the previous 4 years regardless of whether he is 17, 18 or 19 at the time! And label the years appropriately.

 

:iagree: Exactly so. Just be sure to keep track of everything presuming you will you it towards a transcript. Worst case, is you will decide you don't need to put it all on there.

 

 

I have the world's worst time labeling my kids, so I don't. I just say their age and let people think whatever they think.

[Brindee]

JMHO. :-)

 

Maturity has nothing to do with "9th grade," or even "high school." It is simply an artificial designation for students who have reached a certain year in school.

 

Personally, *I* would not have him repeat a grade. He might be a totally different young man in four years, and then you might be trying to figure out how to graduate him "early," when he really should be graduating on time (graduation has nothing to do with maturity, either).

 

If you fail him now--and that's how it will appear--he'll be a whole year older than most graduates. I wouldn't do it. No way.

My ds16 will turn 18 in September of his senior year, so he'll be closer to 19 when he graduates. He made that choice. He didn't feel flunked. He was NOT ready for highschool classes, so whatever word you call it, he was not as mature as many going into 9th grade, and it DID affect the choices. He is very happy with where he's at. Why would he think he'd failed? He's just broadening his education, and continuing to move forward!

 

He has a couple kids he will graduate with that are OLDER than him. No way is he a year older than most graduates! Most are VERY close to his same age! :001_smile:

[Deb in NZ]

are you in NZ? (I thought I remembered reading that somewhere) I am an American living in NZ. My ds#1 sounds much like your ds. If you're in NZ, let me know, & I'll share what we've found has worked for ds#1. If youare else where, it probably won't make much sense as the education system is very different here compared to what I knew in the States.

 

Blessings,

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Maybe I just won't label him anything, but just record his work. Then I can always do "retrospective" labelling! As in, when he is ready to go off to college I just fill his transcript with what he has done over the previous 4 years regardless of whether he is 17, 18 or 19 at the time! And label the years appropriately.

 

After all, there is no point in going to college until one is ready and one of the girls took a gap year between graduation and college and benefited enormously, so we may encourage that as well.

 

That's an excellent idea! If you don't have to assign him a grade level I wouldn't:001_smile: