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WWYD? Should I Stay or Should I Go?


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My mom had an aneurysm today. She has not regained consciousness. I live about 4.5 hour drive from her. At this point, she has been moved to the big city hospital (a further hour drive) and is slated for surgery tomorrow. I want to see her. I would like to help my dad and my brothers. OTOH, I don't wish to burden my dh who is just getting over pneumonia. He is self-employed and relies on help booking appointments and dealing with clients. He says to go. I don't wish to burden my in-laws, helping care for the dc. They say to go.

 

Callously, I wonder if I shouldn't wait to know more one way or the other. Once I'm down there, I don't want to be running back and forth. Although I may not have a lot of say in that. Emotionally, I wish I were there already. I just wish I knew what to do. :tongue_smilie:

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Go. If it makes it easier on anyone (including you), consider taking one or two of your kiddoes. I just got back from visiting my terminal aunt, and I took my 11yods. It just worked out best that I didn't have to worry about him being bored to tears at home and driving everyone crazy, and him being miserable. But my situation was different, we visited different family members, we weren't spending time at a hospital.

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I think it's unanimous -- you should go. You will likely regret not going; you're not likely to regret going. You have the support your family needs at home. You know your family best, but I would second the idea of possibly taking one of your children with you. That is, if you'll enjoy having a traveling companion, and your dh and inlaws will probably have an easier time with two than they would with three.

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I say go. She's your mother. I wouldn't want to leave dh, but it sounds like his parents can step in and help out. I can understand not wanting to burden them, but they probably view this as a blessing! They want to see their grandchildren more, and they want to help their son.

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Go, my dh waited to long and as he was driving to the airport, I received the call his Mom had died. He still has regrets. You will never second guess yourself about being there:grouphug:

:iagree:

 

WRT being a 'burden'...I know when I offer to help someone in this situation, I don't view it as a burden. It's the only way I can think of to help them. And as selfish as this may sound, I feel badly when the other person doesn't allow me to step up and help. So while YOU may feel you are being a burden to your family, your family probably feels helpless and just wants to help out any way they can.

 

You should go. :grouphug:

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Go. This is your mother. You will never regret having been with her during this time.

 

Do you need help packing? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure some of us could come over and give you a hand, if it will get you out of the house faster!:auto:

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Go. This is your mother. You will never regret having been with her during this time.

 

Do you need help packing? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure some of us could come over and give you a hand, if it will get you out of the house faster!:auto:

 

:iagree: :grouphug:

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I understand what you mean about waiting to know more. When my dad had heart surgery I was in constant contact, but did not go until he was to be released from the hospital. I knew I couldn't stay for more than a week and I wanted to be able to help. He had plenty of help (and visitors) in hospital; he didn't need me then.

 

If you really feel you need to be there now, though, you should go. Your family will manage.

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I understand what you mean about waiting to know more. When my dad had heart surgery I was in constant contact, but did not go until he was to be released from the hospital. I knew I couldn't stay for more than a week and I wanted to be able to help. He had plenty of help (and visitors) in hospital; he didn't need me then.

 

If you really feel you need to be there now, though, you should go. Your family will manage.

 

 

 

YES. If things go badly, Dad will need help planning. If things go well, there will still be things to be done. I just want to be the most help possible.

 

But if I lose the one chance I could have had to see her one more time...

 

Thanks for the responses. I'm off to pack, I guess.

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Thank you, all. I went, I am here. The operation was successful - at least the surgeon is reported as saying there were no surprises. I will drive my Dad into the city tomorrow and see her, which is what I've been wanting to do. And we'll deal with what we deal with from there.

 

I appreciate your feedback. :)

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