KathyBC Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 My mom had an aneurysm today. She has not regained consciousness. I live about 4.5 hour drive from her. At this point, she has been moved to the big city hospital (a further hour drive) and is slated for surgery tomorrow. I want to see her. I would like to help my dad and my brothers. OTOH, I don't wish to burden my dh who is just getting over pneumonia. He is self-employed and relies on help booking appointments and dealing with clients. He says to go. I don't wish to burden my in-laws, helping care for the dc. They say to go. Callously, I wonder if I shouldn't wait to know more one way or the other. Once I'm down there, I don't want to be running back and forth. Although I may not have a lot of say in that. Emotionally, I wish I were there already. I just wish I knew what to do. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go kiss the kids, kiss your hubby and tell him what a great bloke he is, then pack some spare knickers and get in the car. :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. Allow others to help you. You would do the same for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. It will be a privilege for your dh and in-laws to help you during this time, so let them do it and focus on your Mom, Dad, and brothers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. Let others care for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Things like this burden people. They don't mind. That's what husbands are for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I definitely think you should go.:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go! You're dh says go. Your IL say go. So go! There are times we need to let other people bless us. It's not a burden, they want to give something to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. If it makes it easier on anyone (including you), consider taking one or two of your kiddoes. I just got back from visiting my terminal aunt, and I took my 11yods. It just worked out best that I didn't have to worry about him being bored to tears at home and driving everyone crazy, and him being miserable. But my situation was different, we visited different family members, we weren't spending time at a hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go! You're dh says go. Your IL say go. So go! There are times we need to let other people bless us. It's not a burden, they want to give something to you. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I think it's unanimous -- you should go. You will likely regret not going; you're not likely to regret going. You have the support your family needs at home. You know your family best, but I would second the idea of possibly taking one of your children with you. That is, if you'll enjoy having a traveling companion, and your dh and inlaws will probably have an easier time with two than they would with three. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go, my dh waited to long and as he was driving to the airport, I received the call his Mom had died. He still has regrets. You will never second guess yourself about being there:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarleneW Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I hope you have already left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 :grouphug: I'd have left already. :grouphug: and a couple more for the trip :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 :grouphug: go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I say go. She's your mother. I wouldn't want to leave dh, but it sounds like his parents can step in and help out. I can understand not wanting to burden them, but they probably view this as a blessing! They want to see their grandchildren more, and they want to help their son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go, my dh waited to long and as he was driving to the airport, I received the call his Mom had died. He still has regrets. You will never second guess yourself about being there:grouphug: :iagree: WRT being a 'burden'...I know when I offer to help someone in this situation, I don't view it as a burden. It's the only way I can think of to help them. And as selfish as this may sound, I feel badly when the other person doesn't allow me to step up and help. So while YOU may feel you are being a burden to your family, your family probably feels helpless and just wants to help out any way they can. You should go. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go kiss the kids, kiss your hubby and tell him what a great bloke he is, then pack some spare knickers and get in the car. :grouphug: Rosie :iagree: Especially about the spare knickers. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. I hope your mom recovers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Hopefully you are packed/packing and almost out the door. Praying for your mom, a safe trip for you, and for your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splash Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Your in-laws will help your husband. This is what family is for. The Hive has spoken - Go, your heart is already there.:grouphug: :iagree: with this and with the others who have said go.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 We'll pray for all of you while you're gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. It will be a privilege for your dh and in-laws to help you during this time, so let them do it and focus on your Mom, Dad, and brothers. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. If you don't & something happens, you're going to have to live with that guilt the rest of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I don't think you will ever look back on going with regrets. :grouphug: to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 :iagree: Go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. This is your mother. You will never regret having been with her during this time. Do you need help packing? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure some of us could come over and give you a hand, if it will get you out of the house faster!:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go. This is your mother. You will never regret having been with her during this time. Do you need help packing? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure some of us could come over and give you a hand, if it will get you out of the house faster!:auto: :iagree: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go, go, go, go, go! As a matter of fact, I hope you're already gone. Please go. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I understand what you mean about waiting to know more. When my dad had heart surgery I was in constant contact, but did not go until he was to be released from the hospital. I knew I couldn't stay for more than a week and I wanted to be able to help. He had plenty of help (and visitors) in hospital; he didn't need me then. If you really feel you need to be there now, though, you should go. Your family will manage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I hope you're not replying b/e you're on the road. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I would go, without hesitation. I would find anyone I could to watch your children. Family and friends are there to help in times of need. I doubt they will feel as if it's a burden, but will be happy to lend a hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglei Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 GO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go kiss the kids, kiss your hubby and tell him what a great bloke he is, then pack some spare knickers and get in the car. :grouphug: Rosie :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I am praying for your mom, and you, and your whole family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 I understand what you mean about waiting to know more. When my dad had heart surgery I was in constant contact, but did not go until he was to be released from the hospital. I knew I couldn't stay for more than a week and I wanted to be able to help. He had plenty of help (and visitors) in hospital; he didn't need me then. If you really feel you need to be there now, though, you should go. Your family will manage. YES. If things go badly, Dad will need help planning. If things go well, there will still be things to be done. I just want to be the most help possible. But if I lose the one chance I could have had to see her one more time... Thanks for the responses. I'm off to pack, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I'm off to pack, I guess. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Your in-laws will help your husband. This is what family is for. The Hive has spoken - Go, your heart is already there.:grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 :grouphug: Praying for you to have a safe trip, and for your mom too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted May 20, 2010 Author Share Posted May 20, 2010 Thank you, all. I went, I am here. The operation was successful - at least the surgeon is reported as saying there were no surprises. I will drive my Dad into the city tomorrow and see her, which is what I've been wanting to do. And we'll deal with what we deal with from there. I appreciate your feedback. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I'm glad you were able to go and help out your dad - and see your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 (edited) I would like to help my dad and my brothers. Glad you could be helpful. Glad the surgery went well. Edited May 20, 2010 by kalanamak posting too late at night!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.