Did you call your MIL on Mother's Day?

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I don't really care to. Is this expected? Did you leave it up to dh?

[teachermom2834]

I leave it up to dh and the kids (but I remind them).

 

She always insists on talking to me, though, so I'll have to do that.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I'm still out of town working. He took her out to dinner and gave her a card already. I'm tired and too exhausted to deal with her now.

[Daisy]

It's always on a Sunday. We are preacher's kids, so we don't call either of our mothers on this day. They are tooooooo busy. We've touched base with them earlier in the week and mailed them a card.

[eternalknot]

I don't really care to. Is this expected? Did you leave it up to dh?

 

I don't care to, either, but I always do. It's important to me that my kids make the effort to recognize her on this day, too. Her son and I have been separated for several years, but I know he rarely makes the effort to. This year he did mail her the crafts and cards our kids made for her, though - that's an improvement compared to years past, btw!

 

She's not an easy person to love but I know she loves us in her own incomprehensible, passive-aggressive way, so I suck it up and call. I have a boy so I know my turn as the PITA MIL is probably right around the corner, sigh.

[ImAhomeSCHOOLmama]

I did! I talk with my MIL almost daily! We are VERY close and I could not imagine not calling her on Mothers Day!

 

Ofcourse I had to remind dh to :glare:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I called my mother yesterday. Dh did not talk to her and no one expected him to because she's not his mother.

 

I reminded dh to call his mother today. I have no problem talking to my MIL and I care for her but she's not my mother so I don't feel pressured to call her.

[NanceXToo]

I remind my husband (several times, usually lol; he's a bit of a procrastinator) to call her. I don't call her myself.

[BeckyFL]

I did! I talk with my MIL almost daily! We are VERY close and I could not imagine not calling her on Mothers Day!

 

Ofcourse I had to remind dh to :glare:

 

This is the kind of MIL I want to be! What is her secret???

[ImAhomeSCHOOLmama]

This is the kind of MIL I want to be! What is her secret???

 

 

I dont know exactly. I am actually closer with her than my own mom. (Yes, there are times I would rather NOT talk to her, but what relationship DOESNT get like that once in a great while!)

 

I am certainly going to strive to be like her. She is just a good person! I am VERY blessed to have her as my mother in law!!!

[elegantlion]

Dh called his mother, I called mine. Generally we will talk to MILs but today we didn't. Dh called my aunt, which he claims as his, and his grandmother too. Ds talked to everyone but my aunt.

[Jen in PA]

I bought her a card. I addressed it. I reminded DH to sign it. I took it to the post office. I didn't call, although she did call here to thank DH for the card.

[Lovin Learnin]

I took my mom and mother-in-law to lunch yesterday and spoke with both on the phone today. We spend quite a bit of time at mil's house and I'm cool with that. I'm very fortunate to have an awesome mil who I love very much.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I did! I talk with my MIL almost daily! We are VERY close and I could not imagine not calling her on Mothers Day!

 

I wish this were the case with us. We even moved next door and thought she would be more interested after the kids were born, but she's just not. We could go weeks without talking or seeing her. *sigh*

[NanceXToo]

She passed away in 01, so no. :) Though now you have me wondering if dh called his stepmother.......

 

Ack, good point! I nagged my husband to call his mother today but didn't think to tell him to call his stepmother! I'm going to tell him now!

[Dandelion]

DH calls, sends her a card and has flowers delivered to her. I'm not very close to her so I don't call. DH is the youngest of 9 kids, so my MIL gets PLENTY of attention on Mother's Day.

[JenC3]

Yes! She just left my house. I invited her ad FIL here for the afternoon. They live close and I invite them to all family/holiday occasions. I do like her as well, most of the time.

[JoyfulMama]

Well, I sent her a text message this morning. Does that count?

DH and the kids called her after lunch. I called my mom last night, as she was working this morning, but I ended up calling her this afternoon as well.

[babysparkler]

Typically Dh calls, but this year MIL is here visiting for the week.

[Night Elf]

DH did and I spoke to her and gave her lots of love. I'm fortunate to have a great relationship with her.

 

I talked to my mom yesterday. I didn't think about calling her today.

[MaMa2005]

We get on the phone with my MIL. My mother has been deceased for over 30 years so my MIL is like a mom. She is a wonderful person and has always been there for me and DH since we were married (29 years ago!) And on top of all that, she is actually DH's step-mom.

 

I feel like I am one of the luckiest DILs in the world to have such wonderful in-laws.

[swimmermom3]

I just spent a half an hour on the phone with her. She will be 90 years old this summer and lives on the opposite coast. I am in total awe of this tiny woman who has lived in China and Japan and raised 6 children. My dh is on an international flight so he will call her when he can. This call was my own. I treasure each conversation with her as I know the time we have left for them is short.

[Laurie4b]

I reminded dh but MIL and I do not have a mother-daughter relationship, so no, I won't call her. I tried to have a relationship earlier in our marriage, but she wasn't particularly interested, so I just leave it at that, but try to support dh's relationship with her.

[Miss Marple]

No, we visited instead. But she won't remember. She'll wonder who brought the nice flowers and who the lovely card is for...FIL will explain it...again....and again...and again...until she gets used to seeing them and assumes they've always been there.

[Orthodox6]

My M-I-L is in the hospital, and might die soon. Days? Months? Nothing is certain. We are filled with deep sadness, but trusting in God.

Edited May 10, 2010 by Orthodox6

[Crissy]

I would have visited when my husband and boys did, but I had a deadline to meet.

The guys went to her house, chopped and stacked wood, cleaned the windows and swept the porch. They also delivered a card from me, but I didn't call.

[Crissy]

My M-I-L is in the hospital, and might die soon. We are crushed with sadness, but trusting in God.

 

 

:grouphug:

I am so sorry.

[*********]

My M-I-L is in the hospital, and might die soon. We are crushed with sadness, but trusting in God.

 

:grouphug:

 

My MIL passed away four weeks ago. Dh, the boys, and I visited her grave today. Worst Mother's Day ever.

[Orthodox6]

:grouphug:

I am so sorry.

 

Thank you. I am grateful for your reply.

 

At age 92, every moment is a blessing. She broke her hip some weeks ago, had heart trouble while still in the hospital. She went to a nursing home for physical therapy and rehab, but seems to receiving the ubiquitous rotten care characteristic of nursing homes not inhabited by millionaires. Last night she returned to the hospital with dehydration and an unstable heart. At the nursing home, she is restless, wants to be on-the-go all the time, is lost in dementia, speaks only Greek (common occurrence in the elderly, who return to the native language and English use diminishes radically). Rather than care properly for her, doctors and staff over-medicate her into near-oblivion. We live two hours away; s-i-l lives five hours away. DH drove down there at 11:30 P.M. yesterday, and shall stay until she is released from the hospital. . . . This could yo-yo on for months; or, it could end within a short time. Only our Lord knows.

 

I grieve for all of you board members who have horrible relationships with your m-i-ls, or who have non-relationships. Your own situations are so sad, and are not of your making or of your desires, from what I read so often. Those others of you, though, who do have loving and wonderful m-i-ls, cherish every moment you have with them.

[swimmermom3]

:grouphug:

 

My MIL passed away four weeks ago. Dh, the boys, and I visited her grave today. Worst Mother's Day ever.

 

:grouphug: Bethany, I am so sorry.

[Allearia]

I reminded dh and the kids to call. The kids and I made a really great card with a photo of dh and the kids but didn't get it sent until yesterday. She is a wonderful sweet woman but I barely know her and so I just wished her happy mother's day.

 

My own mother works the graveyard shift and I know she was asleep all day, I will call tomorrow when she has her day off. I sent her a card yesterday too. I felt bad getting the cards out so late, but with everything going on here I am happy I got them out at all.

[prairiegirl]

:grouphug:

 

My MIL passed away four weeks ago. Dh, the boys, and I visited her grave today. Worst Mother's Day ever.

 

I am so sorry, Bethany. :grouphug:

 

I left it up to my dh to call my mil. He and the kids talked to her and then she asked to talk to me.

[Chris in VA]

Dh called his mom, I called mine. Usually I talk to mil, too, but I didn't this year.

I'm very, very blessed to have her in my life.

 

I even have a sweet, special name for her--

When dh and I were engaged and I knew it was time to open the conversation with her re what she wanted me to call her, she said I could call her Mom or call her by her first name, Joy. I just couldn't call her mom, because that's the name I use for MY mom, and Joy seemed--disrespectful or something--it felt funny for dh to be calling her mom and me calling her by her first name.

So I compromised, and called her "Mom-Joy." It stuck--now my kids call her "Gramma Mom-Joy!"

She always knows it's me calling! lol

 

Happy Mother's Day, everyone.

[Denisemomof4]

:lol::lol::smilielol5::smilielol5::lol::lol:

 

does that answer your question?

 

In other words - NO. I tried to befriend her, be cordial, be respectful, you name it, I DID IT. After 17 years married, 19 together, she told me dh could have a girlfriend and it would be ok.

 

No, didn't call her.

[ChristusG]

It's his mother, so he called her......after I reminded him, that is. I also presented him with the card I purchased for her so that he could sign it. Then I mailed it for him. :D

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I see a recurring theme ~ wife buys card, wife tells dh to sign, wife addresses, mails and reminds dh to call. I wonder if the MILs know this?

 

Thanks Denise. I have tried everything I know too. For years I called with weekly updates, then after kids were born, I called twice a week. After Christmas, 21 years later, I got tired and stopped calling. She has never called; even about the girls. I send pictures via email, no response. I guess I'm just done. I wish I had a MIL like some of you described, but I don't. I will encourage my girls to go see her whenever they want, though. She's their grandma and that's important.

Edited May 10, 2010 by Cindie2dds

[Guest Cindie2dds]

My M-I-L is in the hospital, and might die soon. Days? Months? Nothing is certain. We are filled with deep sadness, but trusting in God.

 

:grouphug:

 

My MIL passed away four weeks ago. Dh, the boys, and I visited her grave today. Worst Mother's Day ever.

 

I'm so sorry for you two, and am so grateful you have had years of happiness. Treasure your memories, they are worth more than any amount of gold! :grouphug:

[DawnM]

Nope! I am done being the person to do everything for DH. It is his mother and his responsibility. I will get a card off maybe tomorrow, but I only called MY mom today.

 

 

Dawn

[Aubrey]

No, she called me to tell me how glad she is that I'm her dil. I was glad to find out after we hung up that dh had already called her, but my goodness his mom is great. We are polar opposites--she was raised on a farm, loves football, & has the cheeriness of a cheerleader--& because of that, I count it as a *double* honor that she cares about me as much as she does & works so hard to express it.

 

Bil may be getting married soon, & she's been telling me how great this girl is. I'm scared stiff, because she sounds like she's the opposite of me, & mil will like her better. :ohmy: LOL

[lllll]

..

[m0mmaBuck]

We had dinner at the inlaws. We live in the same neighborhood and have Sunday dinner together every week. They are wonderful people.

 

I called my mom on Friday because I knew she was going out of town for my sister-in-law's dad's funeral. I'll call her tomorrow afternoon when she gets back home since I couldn't reach her today (She doesn't have a cell phone and didn't know where she would be staying.).

[Remudamom]

I made sure she came over for dinner and bought her roses. When she came over she bought me a bouquet too! My darling mama is in Alabama, but we talked and I sent her some flowers too. She had lunch at one dil's, and supper at the other dil's.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, MIL just showed up and brought me mangos and eggplant! There's a Mother's day gift for you! (Actually she does this kind of thing all the time). We had a nice visit.

[RoughCollie]

I used to remind DH to call his mother, and then I would talk to her too, after he did.

 

Now she is in an advanced stage of senile dementia and lives 1100 miles away. She can't talk on the phone, so we don't call her. She is 96 years old.

Edited May 10, 2010 by RoughCollie

[Denisemomof4]

I see a recurring theme ~ wife buys card, wife tells dh to sign, wife addresses, mails and reminds dh to call. I wonder if the MILs know this?

 

Thanks Denise. I have tried everything I know too. For years I called with weekly updates, then after kids were born, I called twice a week. After Christmas, 21 years later, I got tired and stopped calling. She has never called; even about the girls. I send pictures via email, no response. I guess I'm just done. I wish I had a MIL like some of you described, but I don't. I will encourage my girls to go see her whenever they want, though. She's their grandma and that's important.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

your last two sentences speak about your character. You are awesome!!! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[simka2]

NO...no plans too!

[Tap]

Nope.

 

I call my mom.

Dh calls his if he remembers and if he wants to. I don't even bother reminding him now. It is his mother, and their relationship is what it is, due to her.

 

I don't send cards. But I will give my mom a nice present (combo mother's day/birthday-a few weeks apart) sometime when I see her in the summer. We don't mail packages in our family, we just hold on to them until we see eachother. WE are big into sentiment, not Hallmark created days on a calender.

[texasmama]

No, I let dh take responsibility for his mother and grandmother (who mostly reared him and is therefore like a mother). My own mother passed away 3 1/2 years ago so this is a hard day for me, and I cannot bring myself to recognize anyone else's mother yet.

 

:grouphug: for those who have lost mothers and MIL's.:grouphug:

[myfunnybunch]

We go visit MIL on Mother's Day.

 

Then I leave.

 

She gets to play with her grandkids. I get to go home alone and garden or take a nap. Dh goes grocery shopping for our family and/or repairs things for MIL. Win-Win-and...well, we'll just call accomplishing all of that work a Win for dh too, lol.

 

I somehow found myself in charge of Mother's Day gift and card for MIL, while dh forgot to have the kids do something for me. So I stopped. I have the kids make a card and a little craft for their Grandma, and that's all. Every Mother's Day, I ask dh, "Did you get something for your mom?" and he says, "Oh no! I forgot!" and I say, "Maybe you should stop and get her a gift certificate to the (garden store/bookstore/spa) on your way over." And he does. Everyone's happy.

 

Cat

[Rosie_0801]

Nup. My MIL and I aren't friends. Dh needed somewhere to stay last night so, being Mothers Day, he stayed at their place instead of his mate's place as he's been doing recently. I think he usually rings her. I used to nag him to make sure he did, but one day I decided not to bother any more. If someone blames you for her son not speaking to her often enough, when he only speaks to her that often because you nag and nag him, you lose interest.

 

Rosie