Does having cats/dogs in the house make it "nasty?"

[hornblower]

Oh' date=' and the stupid dog is only 4 years old- I'm looking at another 9 YEARS of living with her. I try not to think about it because it feels like a prison sentence when I do.[/quote']

 

 

:001_huh:

 

Good grief. I'm very sad for your dog. I think animals can tell when they're not wanted, not loved.

 

And while I don't understand your feelings at all, I can imagine the stress this must be placing on your marriage.

 

To me, the image of a young child snuggled with a dog or a cat, or playing together, or just hanging out - that's one of the most wonderful things in the world. Animals give us total unconditional love. I cannot imagine rejecting it.

 

But there are times when for everyone's sake, I think it's better to look for another home for the animal.

 

(Or another husband? :tongue_smilie: Not to make light of someone going through marriage difficulties but I know of several couples who when they divorced, the biggest debate was about who would get the dog. They eventually arranged visitation, just like they would have for kids.... And another guy who adopted from our rescue said that the ex took the dog & it broke his heart; he was glad the marriage was over but he desparately missed his dog & was therefore adopting another..... )

 

Oh & dog lovers might want to check out Lisa Scottoline's

 

Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog.

 

Perfect funny short reads, great when you're having a small recess from school

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Third-Husband-Will-Dog/dp/0312587481

[SonshineLearner]

 

Oh' date=' and the stupid dog is only 4 years old- I'm looking at another 9 YEARS of living with her. I try not to think about it because it feels like a prison sentence when I do.[/quote']

 

BUT, when you see your 2 year old... who will be maybe 15 bawl because his dog just died, it will melt your heart! When you realize that HIS emotional state is better because of the love he shared with a warm creature, you will melt. When you realize that your sacrifice of not wanting the dog in the first place, makes your son a better person, you will ... yes... melt.

 

BTW, if there's anything you can do to love your dog, try. Dogs have this sense of who likes them and who doesn't. Can you imagine how that makes a dog feel, to walk around knowing you don't like him?

 

Play ball for 5 minutes a day. Take him to a groomer so he's clean and ready to go. Think about the day that he may save your son's life... some where, somehow....

 

Dogs create a different atmosphere in the home.... My step-daughter who loved "her" dog... refuses to like my dog now, and I can say... that her not caring about my feelings in regards to the dog.... (who doesn't cause her extra work) makes me a bit happy that she'll be leaving soon. (She'll be 18) I hate the fact that she can just refuse to even try to like my dog... when I put up with her dog... for a few years.. ( I was the only one who cared for the dog....)

 

:)

[MissKNG]

I think it depends on the person coming into the house. Some people without cats/dogs will think the home is fine. Others (like me -especially since I have terrible allergies) try to stay clear of pet homes. Also it depends on how many animals you have and how clean you keep your house.

 

I can tell you one thing, if I find a pet hair in the food/drink you serve me, I'll never eat or drink your stuff again!!

 

I also don't go to homes where people smoke nor do I allow my kids to go. The absolute WORST combo is pets and smoking!! My estranged MIL has all that and I won't ever go to her house nor will my kids!

 

ETA: if there is evidence that a cat was on the counter or kitchen table, I won't eat your food!

ETA again: I do like animals (my heart is weak for rabbits) but pets are just messy. They don't know any better.

Edited April 27, 2010 by MissKNG

[SonshineLearner]

Hornblower

You type faster, I guess!! PS... your box is full!!

:)

[Tree House Academy]

Thank you all for your honest replies. None of them made me angry or upset. It is nice to hear what other people are thinking. Even the poster who called her dog stupid - if that is the way she feels, then it is valid. I hate that and I hope she and her dh can work it out to where she isn't so miserable! :(

 

My cats are 13 years old (I have had them for 11 years, but adopted them from the humane society when they were 2). They will not go anywhere. My animals do have free reign of every room in the house other than the "man room" - it is a cat and dog free place where my dh spends a lot of his time. The animals are also not allowed to sleep in the beds with us, though my cats will lay on the beds during the day. My dog sleeps in his bed in the floor and the cats are closed out of all bedrooms at night (we close the doors to all of our bedrooms). We have hardwood/tile floors throughout the house - even in the bedrooms and all rugs are washable.

 

We also have 83 chickens and 15 ducks outside that he ADORES.

 

My kids love the animals. My older son is just the best of friends with the dog while my younger son prefers the cats. If they were to leave, my kids would be devastated. However, the animals leaving before death is just not an option, and my dh knows that.

 

My cats are a special case...they were declawed front AND back before we got them. An elderly woman owned them and she bled easily, so the family had them declawed that way. Well, when she passed, the family took them to the humane society! :( So my cats can't be outside cats...they can't even be "occasionally outside" cats. In 11 years, they have not left my home.

 

My dog is a Cocker Spaniel...he is also not an outside dog and would have no idea what to do, other than howl and cry, if I put him outside without us. I can't stand to drive by a home and see a dog tied, chained, or in a cage all the time. If a dog is going to be outside, I think it needs a fenced yard or free run of a farm.

 

Being a cocker spaniel, my dog piddles when he is nervous. At christmas, he piddled ALL OVER the living room floor in front of the guests! I was very embarassed and my dh was mortified, to say the least. Here I was, running behind him with a swiffer mop, digging out bleach to mix up to mop the floor...it was bad. Since that incident, my husband has really developed his hatred of my dog much further.

Edited April 27, 2010 by Tree House Academy

[Veritaserum]

I think animals can tell when they're not wanted, not loved.

 

 

This is another reason why dh and I won't let our kids pressure us into getting a dog (they really want one). He and I both know that we would dislike the creature and because we know that dogs are pack animals and would suffer if we didn't like them, it's better for everyone to not have one. I don't hate animals, I just hate them to be in my home. :) (We happily visit our friends' pets.) I think it's perfectly valid to dislike sharing one's home with another species and reasonable to feel resentful about being forced to do so.

 

My dh grew up with dogs and can't imagine living with them again. He said he never realized how much they impact the cleanliness of a home until he lived without them. The fur, the smell, the slobber.... *shudder*

[celticmom]

Is it possible that the OP's DH is still not over the death of his dog since he was so attached to it?

[hornblower]

Hornblower

You type faster, I guess!! PS... your box is full!!

:)

 

Fixed the inbox clutter!

 

I think ire makes me type fast :lol:

[Tree House Academy]

Is it possible that the OP's DH is still not over the death of his dog since he was so attached to it?

 

Absolutely, he still cries when he thinks of his dog or talks about his dog. It seems to have really blocked him from truly loving another animal. He doesn't want to love something again only to know that he will lose it. Animals have such short life spans compared to people. :( I do know that is part of it.

[Impish]

Is it possible that the OP's DH is still not over the death of his dog since he was so attached to it?

and that he resents the cats for outliving the dog...and the other dog for not being 'his' dog.

[mom2abcd]

I grew up with dogs and cats and chickens and cows.

 

IMHO, animals outside are great. I think animals in a house are nasty.

 

I've developed allergies to cats in adulthood... this in spite of being around them as a kid.

 

As we've looked at houses, there are some that are definite NOs... Some houses may have had indoor pets and seemed fine to us, but there is one we would like that stinks of dog (empty house and clean). There is an immaculate house that has cats that we would absolutely love, but from which I suffered for 24 hours and even up to 48 after being in because of the cat dander. I don't think replacing carpets, painting ceiling and walls, and cleaning the ductwork would be enough. It would have to sit empty for months for the dander not to be an issue. We have checked into this.

 

At any rate, your marriage is WAY more important than pets. (Isn't it?) Please try to find a Win-Win situation. To me, human relationships are more valuable than human/animal ones.

[Teachin'Mine]

I haven't read through the thread, so sorry if these suggestions have already been made.

 

Cats are very clean animals, but dirty litter isn't. The litter box should be cleaned at least two times a day. You can get the litter boxes with fully enclosed sides, and a hole in the top. These contain the litter better than other designs, especially if you have enthusiastic scratchers. The automated ones will keep it fresh also, but with 2 cats, you'll be replacing the plastic boxes which hold the "used" litter often, and they're not cheap.

 

Another suggestion is to buy or make a scratching tower for them. This gives them a place to play, scratch and nap which helps contain some of the fur. Brushing them often also helps to keep that down, but spring and fall are the shedding times no matter what you do. I agree that having them on the counters and tables is gross. Our oldest came to us with that habit, but we trained her out of it within two weeks. Our next one, was incorrigible!!! We use a squirt bottle and everything else we can imagine, and he still goes where he shouldn't. Unfortunately he's passed this knowledge along to our other cats too, but we've managed to train them not to go onto the counters. I've heard aluminum foil can help - I have to try that next. We wash ours thoroughly before any food prep, etc., but I can understand how your husband feels.

 

Dogs relieving themselves in the house is also "nasty." I think the key is to not worry about cleaning it up before he notices, but to break the habit any way you can. I'd even go to the extent of kenneling the dog during unsupervised time and overnight, so if he doesn't wait to be let out or walked, the only mess will be in his own cage. Easier to clean up, and certainly a deterrent to the dog as they don't like messes either. Also, make sure that you bathe your dog frequently enough. Unlike cats, they don't clean their own fur, and will get oily or smelly over time. People disagree about how often, but personally, I wouldn't do less than once a month, or every two months at most. When you pet your dog, smell your hand afterward, and if it smells of anything, it's time to give Rover a bath.

 

I think if you can keep the litter clean and fresh - there shouldn't be any odor if you do, keep the cats off the counters and table, and can train your dog, then your husband would be less bothered by the fur which is much harder to control - other than frequent vacuuming and all.

 

Your pets are worth the effort this will take. :)

Edited May 1, 2010 by Teachin'Mine

[clarkacademy]

Before the children we had lot's of animals. When I lived somewhere I could no longer have animals I never really compared until now. I have kids and animals and yes they make the house nasty. I don't care how clean they are they make the house gross. I love them they are not going anywhere but yeah I belive the house is gross because of them

[Mejane]

We have a large lab and a cat. Honestly, I've got to the point where I think animals belong outside on the farm. ;) No matter how clean you are, I don't believe a house can ever really be clean with an animal living in it (ok, maybe for two minutes right after you clean.) Our dog is nine years old, and I've already warned everyone that there will not be another when he goes. I'm done; put a fork in me.

[Caribbean Queen]

I didn't read all the replies.

 

Can you send your pets outside and clean up the house before your husband gets home? I am thinking that if he gets home at 6:30p.m. you can send the pets out at 6:00pm, check to make sure they haven't left any "nasties," and by 8:00p.m. your husband will be plopped down relaxing somewhere in the house and you can let the pets back in. Perhaps they can only have access to certain rooms. Your husband will barely notice them.

 

Even though I don't have inside pets, I like to get housework and cooking done early so I can relax in the evenings. Wouldn't it be nice to know you wont have to clean any "pet accidents" in the evening? You might find this kind of arrangement works better for you as well as your husband.

[StephanieZ]

No. :)

[ereks mom]

put me in the nasty camp. I can't STAND animals in the house. they are so disgusting. Cats are not clean animals!

 

When I was a kid/teen, I used to not mind having animals inside, but dh has always been adamantly against it. Since we've been married (30 years next month), he has won me over to his side.

 

Honestly, no matter how good a housekeeper a person is, if I go into their house I know immediately whether they have an indoor pet. I have no allergy issues, but I have a VERY sensitive sense of smell, and there's a distinctive odor in the homes of indoor pet owners. I'm not just talking about a litter box odor, although that is always a dead giveaway.

 

To me, carpets and furniture just seem to absorb pet odors--doggy odors in particularly--and I can always smell that, even when the pet owner cannot. I guess it's like going into a smoker's house; the smoker probably doesn't usually even notice it, but to visitors, the smell is unmistakable. To me, it's the same with the animal odor.

 

Even in homes where the owner vacuums and dusts every day, you're still going to find a certain amount of pet hair--on clothes and furniture, and yes, even in food. Yuck! But to me, the smell is the thing that makes me think that animals are nasty.

Edited May 1, 2010 by ereks mom

[SonshineLearner]

Pets and allergies are two of the reasons why we have no carpet in our house... only bare floors... (wood or other) My pets don't have accidents, so I'm fortunate there. We kennel our dog when we're gone. I keep the litter box downstairs.. and though I guess some may smell the pets in our house... they are the EASIEST to clean up out of all my kids!

[hornblower]

Honestly, no matter how good a housekeeper a person is, if I go into their house I know immediately whether they have an indoor pet. I have no allergy issues, but I have a VERY sensitive sense of smell, and there's a distinctive odor in the homes of indoor pet owners. I'm not just talking about a litter box odor, although that is always a dead giveaway.

 

To me, carpets and furniture just seem to absorb pet odors--doggy odors in particularly--and I can always smell that, even when the pet owner cannot. I guess it's like going into a smoker's house; the smoker probably doesn't usually even notice it, but to visitors, the smell is unmistakable. To me, it's the same with the animal odor.

 

Even in homes where the owner vacuums and dusts every day, you're still going to find a certain amount of pet hair--on clothes and furniture, and yes, even in food. Yuck! But to me, the smell is the thing that makes me think that animals are nasty.

 

 

I could write that same post & replace "pets" with "babies".

 

Seriously, homes with babies have a REALLY particular smell - one which many of us don't like. Esp in North America, there's this pervasive Johnson & Johnson/pampers/ etc smell in homes with new babies.

 

Babies who are bottle fed are even stinkier. Diaper pails - ewwwwww!

 

I'm kidding a bit. I love babies.

 

But they smell.

 

I adore my pets. Having my home called smelly and stinky and nasty because I have pets ---- um, I'm not appreciating this thread.

 

:glare:

[katemary63]

We have a large lab and a cat. Honestly, I've got to the point where I think animals belong outside on the farm. ;) No matter how clean you are, I don't believe a house can ever really be clean with an animal living in it (ok, maybe for two minutes right after you clean.) Our dog is nine years old, and I've already warned everyone that there will not be another when he goes. I'm done; put a fork in me.

 

I grew up with a boat load of animals in the house, a ferret sleeping in my bed, birds, cats and dogs all around. I LOVED it. Now, as an adult, I wonder, "What was my mother thinking???" I'm disgusted by animals in the house. The worst are cats that walk in their litter boxes and then up on the kitchen counter. Yuck! But dogs are gross too. Where ever the dog usually lays is so dirty and smelly! I've got friends with animals in the house and I can ALWAYS smell it. I live on a farm and daily get manure on me - no problem. But when I come home and shower, I want to be clean and not smell animals anymore. JMHO.

[IsabelC]

Sorry you're having this hassle.

I do tend to feel similarly to your dh - I am more comfortable if no non-human animals are allowed inside the house, and absolutely never on the furniture, especially the beds and the food prep areas. But, I also think it's majorly unfair that he didn't raise the issue earlier on, given that you had the animals already. Could you tell him that your pets are a not negotiable part of the 'package', but ask him to suggest some ways that you could make it more acceptable for him, and then consider making changes to accommodate? (Eg perhaps the pets could be allowed only in certain parts of the house, or try to train the cats not to jump up onto the counter)

[Paula in PA]

I adore my pets. Having my home called smelly and stinky and nasty because I have pets ---- um, I'm not appreciating this thread.

 

:glare:

 

I agree. We have 10 cats and 1 dog in the house. All the cats are indoor only and the dog goes out for walks several times a day. Otherwise, she's inside, too. My house is not nasty.

 

I have, however, been in the homes of some relatives that were absolutely nasty, dirty, and smelled horrible. They had no pets at all. None. Just kids and themselves. My sister's house reeks of cigarettes and her dd's room is a disaster area. My MIL, on the other hand, will stop everything to pick up a tiny piece of fuzz on the floor because she keeps her house spotless. So spotless none of us (dh included) feel comfortable visiting there lest we cause a "mess". It's all a matter of perspective.

 

If you do not like animals in the house, fine, that's your choice. But don't call my home nasty just because I choose to keep my pets safely inside.