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Driver's Ed Woes!!!


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I have a 17yo son who has been doing Driver Ed in a Box ...for almost two years. Part of the reason that it's taking so long is that, for a while, it was hard to find the time to get out there and practice driving on a regular basis. We also took several months off when he just wasn't progressing very well and I decided that maybe he just wasn't ready.

 

We've been steadily at it for six months and we still have not progressed past light traffic. Some days he does just fine; other days he nearly gets us in an accident because he'll turn in front of someone, almost run a traffic light, suddenly change lanes without looking, etc. Often this is because he has his mind on something else and is not paying attention to his driving.

 

This kid is extremely bright and has excelled in everything he has ever attempted- except drivers ed. He will be a senior next year, and I really would like for him to be driving on his own by then. Anyone else been there, done that? Any advice? Am I doomed to chauffeur forever?

 

Thanks,

Karri

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I'd second the advice to consider a driving school, but hesitate to say it because we didn't go that route--came close a couple of times but ds finally worked through the rough spots. Does your son have trouble keeping his attention on what he's doing at other times? My ds had some similar moments and we even had one close call where he pulled over on his own and took himself out of the driver's seat. I was so flummoxed that I had to calm myself down before I was fit to drive. :willy_nilly:

 

Could it be that your son went into this expecting to excel, and found driving more difficult than he thought it would be? You might want to give him plenty of practice driving in situations that are within his and your comfort zone and gradually add in places with heavier traffic. I know that I had far more opportunities for practice growing up in a small, rural community and it was hard for me to remember that ds progressed more slowly than I expected because he didn't have those same opportunities.

 

Eventually, my ds realized that he had to be responsible for keeping his own focus. [i once told him, "I don't care what yo see other people do. You're not experienced enough to talk and drive at the same time, so stop yakking and DRIVE, dang it!!!] Well, that's not an exact quote, but you get the idea. I've seen a lot of changes between the ages of 17 and 20, so don't despair.

 

One thing we did that helped was decide on specific routes to and from places he especially wanted to go, and we talked through situations likely to arise for each. Typically, I'd drive someplace with a running narrative from me to ds about why I was doing things such as changing lanes at a particular point, or slowing down for a blind curve. After 2-3 trips like that he'd narrate to me what I should be doing, watching for etc. Then, I'd ride with him and talk him through the first few times partly to keep his attention on what was ahead. I tried, but didn't always succeed at tapering off the advice. The deal was supposed to be that after 3 trips when I didn't have to say whoa, did you forget.... I'd be quiet and let him drive. I have three words of advice: practice, practice, practice!

 

BTW, we struggled with getting enough hours logged for ds's learner's permit. And, he kept his learner's permit longer than usual before taking his driving test. The examiner actually praised his driving skills, judgment, and concentration, but also suggested that he get more practice before attempting city driving.

Edited by Martha in NM
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When you are driving have him sit in the passenger seat and analyze your driving. Not in the critical sense, but let's say you are waiting to turn left on a green light. Ask him why it was the right thing to wait. Or, maybe you want to turn right, ask him if it's okay to turn right even though the light is red. Get him to think about driving, going through the decision making process that is required every second he's behind the wheel, even when he's not.

 

Karen

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It sounds like he is not ready to drive on his own.

 

I would rather drive my children around then send out a young driver that is not ready to be behind the wheel.

 

I told my kids I don't want them getting drivers license till they are in their early 20's.

 

I got my license at 16 (Connecticut) and I can't even count how many things (trees, mailboxes and a ton of cars) I backed into to. I had no desire to drive but we lived in the middle of nowhere and my mother did not want to drive me around anymore.

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I agree that maybe he just isn't ready yet. My cousin's daughter didn't start driving until she was well past 17 because she just didn't want the stress. She was taking dual-credit classes and felt she had enough on her plate already.

 

My oldest is only 13.5, but I'm researching driver ed classes now. I know about Driver Ed in a Box, but I'm planning on paying a private driving school. (the costs are very close!)

 

Also, when I was in Driver's Ed we had to SAY everything we saw (that was driving related)..."I am proceeding straight on Route 13. There is a No Passing sign on the right", etc. It was very good practice at NOTICING things!

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