County Living vs. City Living

[Lolosoli]

Do you live in the country or the city?

 

Are you happy with where you live?

 

If you live in the country do you get lonely? What about the kids?

 

Currently we live in the middle of the city in a not so great neighborhood with a very, very small yard...no yard really.

 

We love the idea of moving to the country and having lots of open space. Chickens. A trampoline or pool. Our hobbies all need space (archery, dirt biking, etc.,). We rent a shared farm/shop right now out in the country...but, it isn't ours to do what we like and space is becoming limited there as well. Also, the money spent on renting that place could be put towards our own mortgage on a farm.

 

The issue we are having is with the fact we have the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, family living right next door to us...and they home school as well. We love them...they are like family. Moving means we have to leave them behind.

 

We really don't like living here...we have definitely outgrown this house and space.

 

I feel so conflicted and just feel the need to vent a bit. We'll still be able to visit the family next door...we won't be moving super far away or anything. I'm also feeling guilty...we'd be leaving them, especially the little girl, without anyone in the neighbourhood to play with.

 

Sigh....maybe we'll wait a couple more years when they are older and the teens can be more mobile as well?

[Liz CA]

It's a very individual decision. We have lived in the middle of the woods for 10 years now. For the most part we love it. We can have animals, small and large and there is plenty of room and no neighbors in "touching" distance.

Perhaps writing out the Pros and Cons would help in the decision making process. There are some potential issues, i.e. commute time, time spent in car running between home and grocery store, other stores, extra-curricular activities and so forth. Would you all be happy if you did not see anyone other than your immediate family for a day or two?

As far as the family next door goes, you can always invite them to your country cottage and enjoy them there.

[hsbaby]

We opted for, what I consider, the best of both. We live in the suburb of a large city. A smaller town with homes on a few acres, but still in a subdivision with neighbors and neighbors for the kids to play with. We have plenty of room for gardens or animals, aren't living on top of our neighbors, the kids have other kids to play with, and the commute for dh isn't bad at all. Then again, I have some friends that want to be within walking distance of stores, restaurants, etc....requiring them to live in a larger city. To each his own!

[AngelaNYC]

We live in NYC - in a residential borough (county) right next to Manhattan. It's perfect. I'm a city girl and could never live anywhere else.

[Jeanne in MN]

We just moved back to town after living on an acreage for 3.5 years. I felt terribly isolated, the kids didn't see friends as much, hated driving back and forth to town all the time, it cost more money for gas and my hubby eating out more for lunches, hubby didn't enjoy all the extra work, etc. We miss things about the acreage-it was beautiful, nice house,had a fire ring area, awesome porch, apple trees, raspberries, mulberries, lots of space, etc. but overall, I appreciate being back in town and around people and we are better off financially.

 

Now-that is just us. Others swear by living in the country and wouldn't have it any other way. And I can certainly see that side too. When we were looking at acreages to buy, I told dh I don't want to be more than 5 miles from town, I don't think I could handle being farther away from people. But a nice place came up on foreclosure and it had everything we wanted-except the distance from town. I knew in my heart that part would be hard for me before we even bought it, but we had to try. So you probably know already how you might do-look inside of you.

 

good luck!

[myfatherslily]

I live in the country. I love it but would also be happy to leave. It's soo beautiful. The kids have lots of room to run and play. We live next door to their grandparents on one side and to their cousins on the other side. We have great relationships with all of them, so it's wonderful.

 

But it takes 15 minutes to get to the nearest town. 30 minutes to get to the nearest town with normal-size stores (other than Walmart). I want to be closer. I would love to be able to walk, on a sidewalk, with a destination. I would love to think about going somewhere without stopping to calculate how many dollars it will cost in gas.

 

I'm glad moving isn't a reasonable option for me right now, because I would be torn. I love both. It sounds like you would really love it:) It might depend, too, on how far "out" you have to go? I know alot of people in my area that have nice secluded pieces of land but are still within 15 minutes of the larger town (that is 30 minutes from me).

[mommaduck]

Pros about the country: wide open spaces, no nosy neighbours, country beauty, animals.

 

Cons about the country: loneliness (both the kids and I), everything is a trip to get to and difficulty in getting involved in community things.

 

Pros about the city: diversity, everything is in walking distance or easily accessed, community involvement, neighbours and other children for the children to play with.

 

Cons about the city: little privacy, other ppl's issues.

 

I don't consider either the country or the city safer than the other. There is crime, of the same sort, in both.

[newbie]

Country con-critters everywhere

 

City con - people everywhere

 

Country-crime(had more here)

 

city - crime-no experience

 

country - dust

 

city-dust

 

hmmmm, that sums it up.

[Ottakee]

We have it very nice. We are in the country on 5 1/2 acres but we have neighbors close on each side (maybe a bit too close). We have horses, chickens, dogs, cats, and rabbits right now.

 

We are 15 minutes from Walmart and about 20 from the library, doctor's office, etc. We are only 30 minutes from one of the nicest beaches on Lake Michigan and only 45 minutes from a major city that has top notch medical care, museums, big venues, etc--all the culture we would ever want.

 

Our kids would not be happy living in the city but I do miss being able to walk places or ride bike to the library, etc. We plan our trips to town to save gas and in the winter might be snowed in a bit---usually our 4 wheel drive will get out but the road might not be plowed.

 

I would say a lot depends on your family and priorities. We don't do a lot of sports, outside activities, etc. that would require a ton of running around. It is wonderful to have the kids outside playing so much.

 

Edited to add-----one thing about the country is that there are SMELLS. Friends of ours were actually featured as the farming family in a pamphlet for our county on the smells of the country---complete with a manure scratch and sniff sticker. This might be an issues depending on where you choose to live and the wind direction. Also, the country can be quiet but we have a lot of kids on dirt bikes and quads up and down our dirt road, the farmers might be running their big combines at 2am just because they HAVE to get the crops in before it rains, etc. Traffic jams might consist of following a big combine or hay wagon down the road at 20mph.

 

Just, if you move to the country, don't complain about farmers doing what they need to do to make their living.

Edited April 17, 2010 by Ottakee

[Dandelion]

We live about 15 min. outside a large city on 5 acres in the woods. We've lived here for almost 10 years and love it for all the reasons others have already mentioned.

 

The one drawback for us is the lack of nearby neighbors for our kids to play with. So we do make the drive into town and to friends' homes regularly. I would love for DS to just be able to "run over to the neighbors" but that just doesn't happen here. So we do more driving in order to compensate - it's not too big of a deal for us.

 

Recently, DH and I started talking about moving into town. At first, I was super-excited about the prospect. But then, I started looking around and thinking of all the things I would miss if we no longer lived here. And I had a renewed appreciation for all the wonderful things about where we live.

 

It's definitely a matter of personal preference and figuring out what's most important to you...

[Catherine]

I come down on the side of city. I was lonely a lot as a kid. My parents chose it to protect us from outside influences, and to some extent it worked. But. I felt so isolated. The convenience of being close to groceries, gas, museums, live music and people won me over to the city. Of course, you can have many of the things I describe in the country, if you choose to.

 

What do your children want to do?

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I grew up in the country and wouldn't change my childhood for anything.

 

I now live in a rural area on 3 acres. We have a wooded hill behind us, a grove of trees to the side, and grass fields in front of us. My parents live (in my childhood home) just 2 miles away, and my younger sister and her hubby live next door to them. My sister and I go walking early every morning. Today we passed cottages, working farms, old red barns, fields of grass, clover, and yellow mustard, a vineyard, and a couple of creeks. The sun was rising, the birds were singing, flowers and trees blooming, and rabbits hopping about. {Grin}

 

Our city of 50,000 (with Costco, Target, and other amenities) is less than three miles away, as is a major interstate. Dh works in the state capital, just 30 minutes away. My older sister lives in a farm house out in the country on the other side of town, about 15-20 minutes away (and homeschools her children). We (my sister and best friend, included) are joining Classical Conversations this year, which may be meeting at an old white schoolhouse less than a mile from our house. Two major cities lie north and south of us, within an hour, so we have museums, fine arts, etc. available if we're willing to drive a little. We live in a lush, green valley. We can be on the beach or in the mountains (*lots* of recreational areas, lakes, etc...) within an hour, or so. High desert is just over the mountains, 1.5-2 hours away.

 

I'm sorry, did I mention that I LOVE where we live? :lol:

Edited April 17, 2010 by Heidi @ Mt Hope

[Mergath]

I prefer the city. I grew up out in the country, surrounded by so much forest on two sides that a friend and I once spent eight hours hiking without seeing a single house. I went to college in a small city of around 90,000 people, with a ton of museums and theaters and a million other things to do, and now I live in a rural area, a town of around 10,000. I also lived in Monterey, CA for several months when I was in the Army. Of them all, I'd move back to the city again in a heartbeat. It had more crime, but the pros more than made up for that. I'm just the sort of person who loves going to lectures at the local bookstore, and spending the day in an art museum, so living somewhere without any of that drives me insane.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love the country, too, and I certainly wouldn't mind living out in the middle of nowhere, as long as I could start a garden and have a few chickens. :)

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

I think I will stay in the country while the kids are little because there is so much more room to run.

I would like to live in the city when my kids are teens or have moved out. I love the idea of walking everywhere.

[Willow]

We had the rural dream. We lost it due to the recession (and our own mistakes around that) and now live in a tiny city house. We thought we would be devastated....we have never been happier.

 

The city house does have a garden, we went for the garden over the house, which only has 4 rooms, no central heating, no double glazing and no insulation when we moved in. Also it is in appalling condition, but we are steadily doing it up. The tiny house forced us to de-clutter, and we have far fewer 'things'. Amazingly enough we are much happier with less. I no longer have a car, but we do have a bus in the next street. I have been to street shows, we bus to the HUGE city park and botanic gardens. We live in a seaside city so we visit the beach at lot. We actually live near the beach. There is a library within walking distance (it was 50 minutes drive to the nearest library when we lived in the country)

And friends! yes I had friends in the country, but visiting them took planning, now I just pop round for a cuppa!

 

Willow.

[lllll]

...

Edited December 17, 2012 by ksva

[Denisemomof4]

country. Hands down. I could NOT be happy in the city after living like this. We moved here 14 years ago when oldest was 4. I don't miss the congestion and traffic. I don't miss the red lights at every corner. I don't miss neighbors closing me in and watching my every move. I don't even miss living close to it all.

 

I have never been happier. We built a barn and have our own little farm. I can walk around in pj's all day, outside, and nobody would ever know. Not that I do, but I love knowing I COULD. We live 20 minutes from the largest city in NH yet I have everything I need within 5 miles: pharmacy, doctor, dentist, small grocery store, bank, etc. I've learned to group my errands so that when we travel 15 - 20 minutes, or longer, to the stores, we have multiple to visit.

 

I love the quiet country life. When I'm in the city and I see so many people crammed together with yards the size of bandaids, I feel bad for them. People in the country are friendlier.

 

My kids were never lonely - they have each other. We have our co-ops. We have our friends visit and we go visit them. But your kids may not like the change if they're approaching the teen years. They may have a hard time giving up the convenience of living close to friends and others. We did this when ours were too young to notice, and they would play outside from morning until dinner. They've had a great life!

[Ottakee]

Another thing to do if you are considering moving is to check the ZONING and ordinances for the area you are looking at. They can VARY widely just across the street if you are in different townships.

 

The township next to us just made it so that if you want to have chickens you must have FIVE (5) acres for TWO chickens and then another TWO acres for each additional chicken. That means 9 acres just to have 4 chickens. We though are in a township where we are over 5 acres so we can have an unlimited number of animals on our property. Under 5 acres there are rules to the number of each type of livestock.

 

One township you can have certain fencing, another township no, some townships you can burn leaves and paper trash, another township, no.

 

My husband says CHECK THE ZONING before moving. You might want an area that is more restrictive or you might want more freedom......just something to think about ahead of time.

[hsmamainva]

We live in the country....the kids love it...the hubby loves it...the dogs love it... I'm getting used to it! It's taken me 5 years to get used to driving 45 minutes to get to Wal-Mart or a grocery store with a salad bar. ;)

 

It's very safe here....very quiet. Lots of room for the kids to roam freely.

 

I'd like to move a little closer to 'town'...just for the convenience factor.

[creekland]

We're country all the way through, but like having access to a smaller town and city reasonably close by.

 

Both hubby and I grew up rural, then went to college, then lived in cities. It was ok, but we really loved it when we moved into our small farm. We have 23 acres we use and another 16 up for sale. We are fortunate enough to live by a creek where we have our own campsite that we spend a bit of time at in the summer. It's all maybe a quarter mile from our house. Right across the creek is a nesting pair of Bald Eagles.

 

Behind our house is a huge field from which we can launch rockets and the boys can be boys with BB guns, forts, balls, sticks, and who knows what. Out my window is a one acre pond we have stocked with fish. Between me and it is our garden. Across the road are our pony pastures. We used to raise our own pork and beef, but have since stopped that. We still have chickens that free range. We hunt deer from the fields near the campsite (still our property).

 

Grocery shopping and the post office/bank are 5 minutes away. Public school is 8 minutes. Walmart and a small mall (Sears, etc) are 15 minutes. Gettysburg is 20. A larger mall is about 30 minutes. Harrisburg or Baltimore takes around an hour, DC or Philly about 2 1/2 hours.

 

All in all it's a wonderful life - but one we'll sell in a couple of years when my middle son goes off to college. It's great living here and a great place to bring up kids, but there's a lot of maintenance on the old house and outbuildings. We're not moving to town though. We hope to get a small RV or sailboat and travel.

 

I have a crowd allergy, so while we can tolerate going to town for needs, we always feel so much better once we hit our lane on our way home. If we ever settle down again, it will still be rural, but just a small place, not a hobby farm - all due to maintenance issues.

 

Oh yes... my boys love living here too - but one of our friends came out one evening and said, "Wow, it's so quiet out here - it's eerie! There's no traffic noise or anything." I never thought of it as eerie. I guess to city folks hearing owls, etc, is eerie. To us, it's music.

[elise1mds]

We live about 15 min. outside a large city on 5 acres in the woods. We've lived here for almost 10 years and love it for all the reasons others have already mentioned.

 

The one drawback for us is the lack of nearby neighbors for our kids to play with. So we do make the drive into town and to friends' homes regularly. I would love for DS to just be able to "run over to the neighbors" but that just doesn't happen here. So we do more driving in order to compensate - it's not too big of a deal for us.

 

I totally could have written this! The only difference is that our 5 acres isn't entirely wooded. There are only about a dozen trees on the entire property. That's all right with me, though. We rent out the back 3-1/2 to a lady who keeps horses, so we get to watch the horses but don't have to pay to care for them! We can have lots of animals; DH is in the process of building me a chicken coop. We have a HUGE yard so I don't have to worry about the kids going up the street to play and getting lost. I don't have to listen to my neighbors, ever. I can renovate my house without worrying about city building codes. I don't even mind the drive to friends' houses or the occasional lesson, which is indeed what we have to do, though I have awesome friends who love to come to my house as well.

 

There is no way I could ever be comfortable inside city limits. I tried when DH and I first got married, because he was a city boy (from Sydney, AUS) who thought he'd never be comfortable in the country. I hated the city. Hated it. I could name all the reasons, but let's just say I was never entirely happy there. And we were in a quiet suburb. When we bought this house, I was so excited. DH loves it now, too, and could never go back to being a city boy, or so he says. If we ever move again, we'll stay in the country. Something about being in an area zoned AG makes me happy :)

[Jenny in Atl]

I would love to have both, a city home (in a big city) and a country home (a small farm/animals and all). I'm such a Gemini.

 

 

:lol:

[LibraryLover]

We live in the country, but it's not deep country. We can get to Boston in about 70 minutes. We can get to endless 'provisions', and a library in about 8 driving minutes. We can walk to the beach, bike to the library.

We love where we live. I do wish the winters weren't so long.

Edited April 18, 2010 by LibraryLover

[swellmomma]

We currently live in a big city and I HATE it. While there is lots of programs etc for teh kids, the crime, drugs, aggression and crazies stress me out big time. We are moving to tiny village on Friday. It is rural so it has that country aspect to it, and has a very very small pop. (760), BUT it is still in town so the kids will still have neighbors and friends to play with. I lived in 2 small towns when my oldest 2 were babies/toddlers and I loved it so much so I am hoping this new place will be just as fabulous. Personally I think living in a small town is a nice compromise between the harshness of city life and the loneliness of country life.

[Mejane]

We live about two hours outside of NYC in a small town with farms all around. I love to spend the day in the city, but I breathe a huge sigh of relief when I get home to my lovely, quiet little town.

[Saille]

I live in the country. I love it but would also be happy to leave. It's soo beautiful. The kids have lots of room to run and play. We live next door to their grandparents on one side and to their cousins on the other side. We have great relationships with all of them, so it's wonderful.

 

But it takes 15 minutes to get to the nearest town. 30 minutes to get to the nearest town with normal-size stores (other than Walmart). I want to be closer. I would love to be able to walk, on a sidewalk, with a destination. I would love to think about going somewhere without stopping to calculate how many dollars it will cost in gas.

 

This sums up my situation pretty nicely, only without the family. I am looking ahead to things like community college, and thinking about how most of the best resources (art classes, museums, FLL groups, church, etc.) are in town. We are likely to move in the next two or three years for dh's job, and when that happens, he'll need to be close to work...possibly closer than he is now. I think we might be able to finagle a one-acre lot near/in a town, but we'd still probably have to give up our chickens, and wouldn't be able to raise our own meat, as we're contemplating doing here. Sigh. I don't know. Can I fit three kids across in a Prius once they're all out of car seats?

[Doran]

When our family was first starting, we lived on a farm (caretaker situation - we did not own it). For 13 years, we lived the consummate country life, raising produce, chickens, living in a wide open space. Like others, it took us 15 minutes to get to the nearest grocery store and 30 for most of our events and for big shopping days. We always felt we'd relocate one day when our children approached their teenage years and would want to have greater access to friends and jobs. So, three years ago, we moved "to town" when our daughters were 10 and 12. The town we live in is very small and quaint, a place where it is safe for children to walk around independently. We are loving it!! It was so hard for me to give up the idea of leaving all that space, and the access to fresh food. And, yes, I absolutely miss those things on some level. But, the benefits of (1) living in a place where I don't have to drive my kids somewhere everyday in order for them to feel connected to the world, and (2) living within walking distance of the library, grocery, restaurants, etc. has been a joy for us and well worth the trade-off.

 

Yes, as has been said already, it is a very individual choice. The grass isn't really greener in either location, and every place has pros, cons and compromises. Personally, I'm happy to be spending this chapter of our lives in a place that affords my children access to the life they crave without me having to be the one to take them there. That's important to me.

[katemary63]

We live on a 160 acre ranch but are only 15 minutes from a decent sized town that even has the university that all three of my older kids attend(ed). We LOVE it. We DON'T have neighbors close enough for my youngest DD to play with, but we have her best friend over every Wed after school and they attend Awanas together. We are involved in 4-H, church and our homeschool co-op so seeing friends happens several times a week and it's plenty.

 

On our own property it is possible to: swim, fish, canoe, ride horses, ride 4-wheelers, hike, investigate the woods and wildlife, hunt, target shoot, have campfires and play with many,many animals. We could never give it up. It is just too much fun every single day! Of course, it's also a lot of work, but it keeps us off the couch and away from the boob tube!

 

I don't feel isolated AT ALL. As I said, we see church, 4-H and homeschool friends several times a week. I honestly don't know how I'd feel about living in the city again. I've only been out here 6 years now but I am converted! We recently visited Little Rock and my DD said, "Mom, there's just too much concrete here! It makes me feel weird!" Haha. Like mother, like daughter.

[Stacy in NJ]

I'm a city girl at heart; dh would rather a country life. We compromise with an in town suburban location. We live on an acre about a half mile from the center of "town". My kids can bike on quite streets to the library, bakery, ice cream shop, or movie theatre, but dh still has enough space to garden and have a bit of privacy.

 

Some day, when my kids are in college, I'd like to movie back to the big city part-time and spend the rest of the year in a sunny location.:D

[Orthodox6]

Living in a large city's suburb city.

 

Loathing it.

 

North Texas is ugly. Dallas is hideous and cluttered. The heat is abominable.

 

The salary is good, though.

[Halcyon]

Well, we moved from Manhattan to a small town (VERY small, based on what we're used to :)) of 50,000 in FLorida. It's not rural--it really is a small town, with lots of grocery stores, walmart, video stores, bowling etc. But for us, the change has been HUGE. I miss my friends terribly, and haven't found my 'tribe' here in our new town. Granted, I grew up in NYC, so this is a big change for us.

 

I know I'd be terribly lonely living in the country, although I love being outdoors. I actually think that NYC afforded us MORE privacy than our current small town because it was so anonymous--part of me really liked that.

 

I think you should think long and hard about leaving behind your friends. Not saying you shouldn't do it, not at all. But having friends so close, friends you truly love and adore...man. For me, not all the countryside in the world could replace that.

 

Good luck with a hard choice.

[Margo out of lurking]

I've always lived in the suburbs, and three years ago, we made a big move to the country. We used to be five minutes from Walmart, the mall, several grocery stores, library, gas station, etc. Now we're on five wooded acres, five minutes to the end of my street, 20 minutes to the nearest town (pop. 4000), an hour to a "real" city (pop. 200000).

 

We're planning to move MUCH closer to the real city this summer.

 

We thought our kids would like it out here. All of their friends live an hour away. We moved here from out of state, but we go to church in the city, all of our hs stuff is in the city, our LIFE is in the city. I'm sick to death of planning ahead just to go anywhere.

 

Where I live is beautiful. I love my town, I love my street, I love my neighbors (when I see them). I like my house. But I am miserable being so far away from everything, and so are my kids.

[Peela]

City- small city though, and a beautiful one.

We cant afford to buy here (we have 2 investment properties in the country though). We rent.

We live in a wealthy suburb, lots of nature reserves, a river 3 minutes walk away, quiet street, other kids around.

We have 4 chickens, 2 dogs, a snake, and a rabbit. No, we do not have permission to have anything but one outside dog, but so far they havent seem to notice when they come to inspect.

I feel in many ways we have the best of both worlds because of all the nature around here. We dont want to move to the country with our two teenagers, because they are established here, and we feel that especially as homeschoolers, but probably anyway, their social networks are very important and it would actualyl be traumatic to them to uproot them and move to the country- although we could havedone it when they were younger. We actually feel it woudl be selfish for dh and I to do that now.

However, dh and I would like to move to the country- within an hour of here- once the kids have moved out.

Meanwhile, I bring as much of a country lifestyle as I can to our city existence.

[Rosie_0801]

We live in the largest rural city in our state and haven't been at all happy here. It has nearly everything, but it is really hard to make friends. The settled population are churchy, and while there are plenty of non-churchy people around, that part of the population is very transitory. We're attending our fourth playgroup and my eldest has only just turned three! All the others closed down because too many people moved away.

 

We were happier in the capital city where we both grew up, but we wouldn't move back there even if we could afford to. It's busy. There are people everywhere! There are cars everywhere! There are billboards everywhere! We like to travel down to the city every now and then to do stuff or for SCA events, but I can't imagine wanting to go there more than once a month at most.

 

The hope is to move soon, and we'll be moving to a much smaller town with a population of just over 6,000. They have shops to buy food and they have a library. We can live within walking distance to those things, because nearly everywhere is walking distance to the centre of town. It's just over an hour on the train to the city, it's 40 mins north to the closest rural city, which will have Saturday school, Wholefoods shops and the Kindermusik classes I hope we'll be able to afford soon. My favourite aunt lives on a hundred acres about ten mins out of town. I don't know how many like minded people I'll meet, but the population should be less transitory so those I do meet should stick around! I think most people are there because it's one of the closest places to the city that is still affordable. People won't move because there is nowhere nicer to go.

 

It's possible to find places like this that are accessible to the city but still have a country atmosphere.

 

Rosie

[Night Elf]

I live between those and am quite happy with the balance. I don't like cities. They are too crowded and busy. I wouldn't visit a city on a vacation either. I don't like the country because I can't relate to anything in that lifestyle. It seems like it would be too quiet. I like my suburban world. I have everything I need within a 10 minute drive time, except for the mall which is about 20 mins. away.

 

The only thing I don't like about where I'm living is the size of my house, which we purchased by choice obviously. I thought small = cozy, but instead small = crowded. :D But I deal with it, because we don't see any opportunity to sell for quite some time. We might as well stay here because when the kids move out, this house is going to be plenty of space for us.

[Laura Corin]

We live on the edge of a village of 100 houses in the countryside, but fifteen minutes drive to a choice of two small towns. We are about half and hour by car from a small city and an hour by train from Edinburgh. We love it.

 

Laura