Choosing curriculum--your preference or your children's?

[freeindeed]

I absolutely love Sonlight, but my children complained that there was too much reading-so I changed for their sake.:tongue_smilie: Now they have found a reason to complain about what we're currently using, which is a curriculum they begged me to use. I love it as well (Five in a Row.) It seems to me that my children simply don't want to do school sometimes.:glare:

We'll continue with FIAR until my children outgrow it. I'm not going to change again! After we reach this point, I intend to go back to Sonlight. I'm thinking that they will be more mature at this time and able to enjoy the wonderful books SL offers. What are your thoughts on this?

[Guest]

Simple, Mom is in charge, not kids. If you feel what you are using is in their best interest, then plow ahead.

[Tiffani]

:iagree: Over the years I've tried to satisfy them and this year I finally went back to SL and am sooo glad!

[elegantlion]

I take my ds' viewpoint into consideration, but I have final say. My ds is not a huge fan of school on some days and he will say he hates _____(insert curriculum name here). The next day he'll ask to do it first. :glare:

 

If the objections have merit I will entertain them. For instance I know Sonlight would not work for us as my son is a slow reluctant reader and I can only read-aloud for about 30 minutes at a time. But barring those issues if he complains just to complain, tough. I bought the curriculum, it was expensive, and we're going to use it.

[PeterPan]

While I'm all for the "mom makes the decision" thing, in my experience it's also true that the kid balking means Mom isn't getting why it isn't working. Kids AREN'T inherently bad about school, no matter what your theology says. Somehow in the midst of "my kids are sinners" we forget the "kids want to please" part. So to me, I would look for what you kids AREN'T saying, the real issue. It probably has nothing to do with the reading frankly. It could be they're wiggley and need to play while you read. It could be they wanted more crafts and hands-on, which of course FIAR gives them. It could be the spine readings were just a bad fit.

 

Can't tell the ages of your kids, but have you looked at Christian Cottage Unit Studies? They might give you the quality lit you're wanting with the hands-on they're wanting.

 

Homeschooling is hard work to get a good fit. You can't just open a catalog, select someone else's program, and expect to have this picturesque experience. You could take the SL books and tweak them to implement more in the way you're having success with FIAR.

Edited April 14, 2010 by OhElizabeth

[Annie Laurie]

Ugh, I've had this issue with my dd lately. She doesn't like anything I pick for math or LA. There is a time when the curriculum really doesn't work for the child and other times where they just don't like anything. I have come to the conclusion that at 7, my dd just needs to do what I pick, I know what's best. So unless I see a serious problem with learning style, we'll just keep on with what I bought.

[texasmama]

I pick the curriculum, but if it is a bad fit for one of my kids, I will change it. We use SL for readers and history, but the SL LA was a terrible fit for my oldest son so I switched. It was clear to me that it didn't work for him, not just that he was complaining about it. My oldest often complains. He is just one of those complaining kind of kids. :tongue_smilie: I do give him breaks when he needs them, but we plow away at what is planned, even if it is not his favorite.

[AudreyTN]

I take my ds' viewpoint into consideration, but I have final say.

:iagree: My kids have never asked to change curricula, but I've never given them a choice either.

[Donna T.]

I have always allowed my children to have alot of influence on my choices but, of course, my husband and I have the final say. Almost everything that we are using now are things that they themselves chose to try or to stick with. I have, at times, made changes based on their preferences and I do try to show them samples of various materials. This year, my 7 year old chose his own "main" curriculum. I allowed that because the choice that I had made for him for first grade was not good for him. It was a terrible fit. I didn't know what I was going to do for him for second grade and then we got a Heart of Dakota catalog in the mail. I noticed a particular program and mentioned it to him. He asked to look at it and immediately said, "Oh, that's it. That's what I want to do. Get it as soon as possible." It was late in the spring but I ordered it anyways and we started right in on it. It has been a perfect fit for him.

 

I don't know. It's probably not a reasonable thing to do but so far it's worked out fine for us. If something isn't working, I've found it's usually because 1) they just aren't developmentally ready for it anyways or 2) it really is stupid, boring, pointless.

[Sue G in PA]

I ask what they would like to study in each subject area (i.e. History, science, art, music, etc.) but I make the ultimate decision. They are still too young to know what is best for them, imo. Mine always complained and I always switched just to make them "happy" but they continued to find things to complain about. I gave up. I stuck with what we had. I like them to have "some" choice, but not total control.

[Sherri in MI]

I listen to what my son has to say, but I make the decision. Sometimes he just likes to complain, sometimes he has some serious input. He is quite honest about saying that he would just rather play all day. If something is obviously not working for him, I will switch.

[GWOB]

It is a fine line to walk, isn't it? On the one hand, we want our dc to be engaged in their studies. OTOH, we have the benefit of experience and know what is best for them.

 

I present them with two thoroughly researched options. I will use science as an example. I really liked two specific science curricula. I could see myself using either one. I asked for their input, and they chose. Fine. Everyone wins. I was sure my educational goals for them would be met, and as an added bonus, they would have fun.

 

Sometimes, you just have to be the bad guy. My kids would never choose to learn Latin. However, I know it is good for them in so many ways, So, as a compromise, I chose a Latin program that would fit their learning style, though I would have preferred another program. (My kids now translate Latin for fun, nerds they are!)

 

Honestly, "A teaspoon of sugar makes the medicine go down." You know what is best for your kids. You CAN force things upon them in a gentle manner. You just need to be creative.

 

Finally, YOU are the boss. YOU are in fact in charge. That is ok. Be ok with that.

[freeindeed]

Thank you for all the input. In the SL catalog there is the suggestion to take 1 1/2 years to complete a core. I'm going to do that. My dc enjoy reading, but it was just too much for them to do the daily reading as scheduled in the IG. Also, I own several resources to pull from if they desire hands-on activities.

 

Of course we've still got several months of FIAR, so we're going to continue enjoying it. I'm just a compulsive longterm planner.;)

[butterfly113]

I love the looks of the elementary Apologia books, and am thinking of getting some for this summer and next year. In looking at samples of the notebooking journals, they seem awesome, yet I know ds would get tired of it if it were only writing about things we have read and discussed. Are there any puzzles, coloring, fill in the blank pages etc... or is it all geared to writing about science?

 

Have you used anything else to supplement the texts?

[robsiew]

I'm the teacher so I get to choose. I believe firmly that in order for me to stick with anything for a duration I must love teaching it. I adapt as needed for my individual kids and their strengths/weaknesses. My kids don't even know anything else that they ***could*** choose so they don't ask to change anything. Now, they DO complain here and there, but a lecture from Mom on how this is school and you will do what I ask you to during school... the rest of the day is yours to do with what you wish.... usually takes care of the complainers! :D

[jld]

I think you've picked the two best curricula out there, lol! And I think your plan to finish FIAR and then return to SL sounds perfect!:)

 

Could you just do parts of SL, say skip the LA if it doesn't work for your family, and just concentrate on the history and lit parts? Just make it work for you. If you like it, I bet your kids eventually will, too, especially with your plan to slow down and really savor what you're doing.

 

Your kids are lucky to have such a sensitive mama -- I'm sure they'll thank you someday!:)

[meet me in paris]

I take my ds' viewpoint into consideration, but I have final say. My ds is not a huge fan of school on some days and he will say he hates _____(insert curriculum name here). The next day he'll ask to do it first. :glare:

 

 

Have you been sneaking into my kitchen lately? Sounds just like my 8yo. We just had a looong talk about this two days ago. I finally told her that she's doing what I tell her to do, and that's that. No more switching. It's making me crazy.

[crl]

It is a fine line to walk, isn't it? On the one hand, we want our dc to be engaged in their studies. OTOH, we have the benefit of experience and know what is best for them.

 

I present them with two thoroughly researched options. I will use science as an example. I really liked two specific science curricula. I could see myself using either one. I asked for their input, and they chose. Fine. Everyone wins. I was sure my educational goals for them would be met, and as an added bonus, they would have fun.

 

Sometimes, you just have to be the bad guy. My kids would never choose to learn Latin. However, I know it is good for them in so many ways, So, as a compromise, I chose a Latin program that would fit their learning style, though I would have preferred another program. (My kids now translate Latin for fun, nerds they are!)

 

Honestly, "A teaspoon of sugar makes the medicine go down." You know what is best for your kids. You CAN force things upon them in a gentle manner. You just need to be creative.

 

Finally, YOU are the boss. YOU are in fact in charge. That is ok. Be ok with that.

 

 

We do this too. I will usually have things narrowed down to two or three choices and then I'll let DD take a look to see what interests here for things like history, science, art and music. For the basics, DH and I pick those according to our goals and our kids learning styles. Thankfully, DD loves her math and we're still looking for a good fit in the LA department.

[freeindeed]

I think you've picked the two best curricula out there, lol! And I think your plan to finish FIAR and then return to SL sounds perfect!:)

 

Could you just do parts of SL, say skip the LA if it doesn't work for your family, and just concentrate on the history and lit parts? Just make it work for you. If you like it, I bet your kids eventually will, too, especially with your plan to slow down and really savor what you're doing.

 

Your kids are lucky to have such a sensitive mama -- I'm sure they'll thank you someday!:)

 

Thank you.:) I agree that these are two of the best curricula available.

 

I won't be using SL LA until my dc get to the cores where it's included in the package. I don't care for their elementary LA programs. We use PLL and ILL.

 

I already own lots of SL books due to a generous donation from a precious lady.:D So that's a relief on the pocketbook!:lol:

[Haiku]

I choose. However, if my kids hated something to the point of tears or the point where their distaste interfered with their learning, I would be open to changing.

 

Tara

[StartingOver]

I decide when my children are young, I want to build a strong base. I do tweak for each child. My children get more say when they are older, in the way of which subjects to study in what order. But I still get to control the curriculum choice.

 

I see homeschooling as my job. I wouldn't expect my husband to take my 5, 10 or even 16 year old to work and just let him do whatever he wants. They would have to be taught the basic skills and safety measures before even entering the building !

[Storm Bay]

This depends on their age. In high school, my eldest sometimes gets a limited choice from things I have investigated, and I am going to buy her an American history with either a workbook or questions in the text because she's doing it because she has to and her passions are elsewhere. She requested this before I had chosen anything.

 

In younger years, they do only if I choose to ask them, but not because they complain. If they request something extra and I have it or it's cheap enough, I'll add it. That's rare, but my ds has done this with math. If it's working, they do it even if they don't necessarily like it, especially if I've already bought it all for an older dc. If it's not working, then I have to reconsider, but I choose most of the time. What I choose goes.

 

I should add that I do a great deal of thinking & research to find what will work well for my dc. I have switched in the past and may do it again, but not regularly.

Edited April 15, 2010 by Karin

[MyLittleWonders]

I choose too, but not without taking my kids into consideration. When ds#1 was in 1st grade, we were using Singapore Math. I love Singapore Math. He hated it, which made me very confused as he is somewhat natural at math (not so much at reading & writing). He can figure a lot in his head, and catches on to concepts fairly quickly. But every time Singapore came out, he would tantrum or tear up and fight me on it. We pushed through (he could do the math and I was being a bit stubborn), and then we tried 2nd grade (I thought maybe he would come to terms with it, realizing he was being very successful, but nope). Then I slowed down and realized the math books were just visually over-stimulating for him. They are just black and white, but from his perspective there was too much on a page. So, I researched and came up with Miquon - still a good amount of problems from a visual point of view, but something about it being hand written and/or in color has meant no more tantrums in math. I still accomplish what I want to accomplish using a curriculum that I (and dh) approve of, and yet ds#1 is relaxed during math. What is funny is I have pulled a couple things out of Singpapore 2A/2B to help reinforce something he was doing in Miquon and he had the same reaction a year later. I'm hoping it eventually lessens as I was planning on going back to Singapore after Miquon until LoF Algebra.

[Night Elf]

I always preferred to do school using curriculum they liked. School is so depressing when the kids are not enthusiastic about programs I choose. Bad feelings are not conducive to a positive learning environment. I'm not talking about skipping a subject because they aren't in the mood. I'm talking about presentation and style. I would have liked to stay with Sonlight but my children prefer textbooks. Dd12 likes to read, but she prefers having a teacher like Calvert ATS and Keystone Middle School. It's their education, not mine. And for subjects they don't like, they are learning to just deal with it. We make lots of jokes and work side-by-side to get through these trying subjects. Geography is driving my ds13 absolutely bonkers, but it's a high school credit and he absolutely has to stick with it until the end. His motivation is knowing he won't have to take Geography again. :)

[Storm Bay]

Kids AREN'T inherently bad about school, no matter what your theology says.

:iagree:

Somehow in the midst of "my kids are sinners" we forget the "kids want to please" part.

 

Here I do want to point out that there are a few exceptions to this. I have one who isn't interested in pleasing me and hasn't been for many years (although she's happy if I am pleased--she feels weak if she gives in, even when she's wrong--she's told me so, and she is more interested in pleasing herself), but that doesn't mean she's inherently bad, of course. I have given her some choice because that way we're working together, but I still have to make her do the work.

 

Homeschooling is hard work to get a good fit. You can't just open a catalog, select someone else's program, and expect to have this picturesque experience.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:Very well put.

[patchfire]

I certainly take into consideration my dd's learning style and curricula that she's enjoyed in the past. It helps me find something that will be a good fit. She's not quite to a point where she has direct input on specific curriculum decisions. As she gets older, I'll begin to ask for her input. I don't expect her to put in the hours researching various options the way I do, though, so it will still be her selecting between 2-4 things that I think are all very good options.