Karenciavo Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I have this problem. I want Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream or nothing. I'd rather drive my old van with leather interior and save a little longer than buy a new one with cloth. And I want to go see Yes at the Hard Rock in Orlando and have my vacation in Fl. and I'd rather stay home than go see Yes at Hershey Park and have my vacation there. I know, I'm a brat right? I'll suck it up for the family's sake, but am I the only one who gets this way about certain things? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I have this problem. I want Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream or nothing. I'd rather drive my old van with leather interior and save a little longer than buy a new one with cloth. And I want to go see Yes at the Hard Rock in Orlando and have my vacation in Fl. and I'd rather stay home than go see Yes at Hershey Park and have my vacation there. I know, I'm a brat right? I'll suck it up for the family's sake, but am I the only one who gets this way about certain things? Yes, but I'm not brave enough to admit all the things I'm a brat about. I'll give in on certain issues, but those few? Don't hold your breath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixelroper Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 It doesn't have to be bratty. Wouldn't you call that having "principles"?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 It doesn't have to be bratty. Wouldn't you call that having "principles"?? Could be. In my case, it's mostly brattiness. Champagne tastes on a PBR budget. :D Edited to say: Although I don't ACT bratty about it. I just feel that way, with all its accompanying guilt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I don't think it's bratty but I can understand why it *feels* bratty. I'm the same way with certain things. If I can't have exactly what I want I would just as soon do without. I think it's just being unwilling to spend the money on something I don't really care about. If I *WANT* phish food (my personal fave) then a popsicle isn't going to do the trick. Why should I spend my money and calories on something I don't *really* want? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixelroper Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Could be. In my case, it's mostly brattiness. Champagne tastes on a PBR budget. :D Edited to say: Although I don't ACT bratty about it. I just feel that way, with all its accompanying guilt. Doesn't the Champagne taste better when you do get some?? Everyday folk don't get to take the finer things for granted. What is interesting (as I fall in this category somewhat over many things) this is my excuse for keeping my life as simple and free of junk/crap as possible. I read an article or book whose title I can't remember about the benefits and real definition of snobbery, it was enlightening. It argued the world right now, needed more snobbery. Just mentioning this I'm not suggesting everyone should become a snob, only we might have snob traits for very good reasons (ie. homeschooling vs public school). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Doesn't the Champagne taste better when you do get some?? Everyday folk don't get to take the finer things for granted. What is interesting (as I fall in this category somewhat over many things) this is my excuse for keeping my life as simple and free of junk/crap as possible. I read an article or book whose title I can't remember about the benefits and real definition of snobbery, it was enlightening. It argued the world right now, needed more snobbery. Just mentioning this I'm not suggesting everyone should become a snob, only we might have snob traits for very good reasons (ie. homeschooling vs public school). You're right, of course. Ok, I will stop feeling bad about this forthwith. Karen, you join me. And we'll ride in my van with leather seats that I put my foot down for (and bought at Cherry Hill Nissan, TYVM) and go meet *anj* with a pint of Chunky Monkey, three bowls, and spoons. (And if anyone reading thinks the spoons will be plastic, you really aren't paying attention.) Oh, and anyone else within driving distance of karenciavo is welcome -- but give us fair warning so we can bring more ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 I don't think it's bratty but I can understand why it *feels* bratty. I'm the same way with certain things. If I can't have exactly what I want I would just as soon do without. I think it's just being unwilling to spend the money on something I don't really care about. If I *WANT* phish food (my personal fave) then a popsicle isn't going to do the trick. Why should I spend my money and calories on something I don't *really* want? Yes, this is exactly it. I'd rather not spend the money or the calories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Do you feel entitled to the best because you deserve it and nothing else will do? Are you doing it for the sake of others to see? I pretty much get whatever I want but am content along the way also. For example I drive an 8 year old sienna because it's paid off would I like a new car yes but I like being out of debt more and it frees up that money to get other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 (And if anyone reading thinks the spoons will be plastic, you really aren't paying attention.) If I'd *had* ice cream, I would have spilled it. LOL!!!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 You're right, of course. Karen, you join me. And we'll ride in my van with leather seats that I put my foot down for (and bought at Cherry Hill Nissan, TYVM) and go meet *anj* with a pint of Chunky Monkey, three bowls, and spoons. (And if anyone reading thinks the spoons will be plastic, you really aren't paying attention.) My van with the leather seats came from Cherry Hill Nissan too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 My van with the leather seats came from Cherry Hill Nissan too. Oooh. , indeed. Mine was a demo. That's how I convinced dh that we "needed" it. It was cheaper than the cloth that he so desperately covets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Let's call it discriminating tastes in certain areas. Sounds more sophisticated that way, doesn't it?;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 In the ice cream example, if you can't have what you really want, why pay the calories and money to have a compromise? Is the compromise going to make you happy? Nope. Are you still going to be fatter and unhealthier if you eat it? Yup. So why do it? The problem comes when you demand what you want whether you can have it or not. So in the same example, if you insist that your DH drive 50 miles through a snow storm to get it, that's not reasonable. But if you wait until you can have what you really want, that IS reasonable. To me, this gets at the heart of the difference between being frugal and being cheap. Being frugal is saving only for what you really want, and forgoing what you really don't want. Being cheap is refusing to spend any money ever, and giving yourself or others a miserable existance that you have the means to prevent by doing so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 Do you feel entitled to the best because you deserve it and nothing else will do? Are you doing it for the sake of others to see? I pretty much get whatever I want but am content along the way also. For example I drive an 8 year old sienna because it's paid off would I like a new car yes but I like being out of debt more and it frees up that money to get other things. No, I don't feel entitled. It's just that for somethings I either want what I want or I'd prefer not to spend the money. Would I have a nice time with my family at Willow Valley? Yes. I'd just rather spend the extra $700 and go to a place I love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Do you feel entitled to the best because you deserve it and nothing else will do? Are you doing it for the sake of others to see? I pretty much get whatever I want but am content along the way also. For example I drive an 8 year old sienna because it's paid off would I like a new car yes but I like being out of debt more and it frees up that money to get other things. No way. Right now I'm looking around at my mismatched furniture and the thrift store clothes I bought today, sitting in my 19 y/o LaZBoy recliner, looking at my Target bookshelves. It's just certain items, or certain features of certain items. Our mattress is sitting on the bedroom floor right now, for example, because I don't want to spend money on cheap bedroom furniture. I'd rather have free stuff from the side of the road, or the 23 y/o stuff that's been through 13 moves than spend a few hundred dollars on carp. I'm might never actually get new bedroom furniture. And that's ok. I also won't have carpy bedroom furniture. (I do have a nice bedspread from Tuesday Morning. Lots of $$ off retail.) There is no real rhyme or reason for my pickiness. I'd love to be a shrink and try to figure it all out. I'm sure it would make for an interesting case study! My kids have gone to some pretty amazing schools, but we've never even put the free "lookie hyere" stickers on our vehicles. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) We're pretty modest people. (Not as in "not proud," but as in "not uniquely visible from a trotting horse.") Before we bought our van, we had a 11 y/o van with 215K miles on it. I love having a good vehicle (like your Sienna) that can use simply forever and get good value from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Let's call it discriminating tastes in certain areas. Sounds more sophisticated that way, doesn't it?;) Got any Grey Poupon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Got any Grey Poupon? But of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 I'd rather have free stuff from the side of the road, or the 23 y/o stuff that's been through 13 moves than spend a few hundred dollars on carp. :iagree: I've gotten quite a few pieces of furniture myself driving through Haddonfield on trash day. And a beautiful, 10'x14' 100% wool oriental rug from Strawbridges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I'm a snot about some things and blase about others. I bet most of us are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I'm a snot about some things and blase about others. I bet most of us are. Totally true! I knew this about you. Thanks for finally confirming my suspicions.:lol: Yes, I am too, in other words.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThelmaLou Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I really tried to make a go of buying my own clothes at thrift shops. I'd buy individual pieces that seemed cute at the time, but I'd get them home and have nothing to wear them with. I think I ended up paying more in the long run for stacks of secondhand stuff. So now I'm pickier about my clothes, and always buy new. I prefer Eddie Bauer over just about everything else. I try to wait until things go on sale, then use a 20% off online coupon, etc. But I find if I buy exactly what I want I need fewer pieces of clothing. So yes, I'd say most of the time it's Eddie Bauer or nothing. (One of the reasons I like E.B. so much is that the carry tall sizes.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I haven't even read the other posts yet, Karen, but dh and I are totally there with you. This house-hunting thing is killing us. I think we've come to the conclusion that we're going to figure out how to make our current house work for another couple of years just so we can build what we *really* want rather than settling for something that would be "more or less adequate". ETA: And yes, after reading more, it's really about not spending our money (and all the emotional and physical energy of buying a house/moving / selling out house, etc, etc) on something that is only a poor substitute for what we really want. We're willing to scrimp and save, to figure out how to make what we have do -- we're not stomping our feet and yelling about what we "should" get to have -- so that eventually we can have what we really want... Another aspect of this that I've noticed... In many ways it's easier to be satisfied with a very small quantity of a very high quality thing than with a larger quantity of a lesser version. A very small serving of a truly excellent dessert or a great steak rather than a huge portion of a food-like-dessert-thing or a giant fast food hamburger... As ThelmaLou mentioned, a few high quality items of clothing rather than a closet full of cheap-but-not-quite-right items. A smaller house that really fits your needs to a T rather than a large but ill-conceived house... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Could be. In my case, it's mostly brattiness. Champagne tastes on a PBR budget. :D Edited to say: Although I don't ACT bratty about it. I just feel that way, with all its accompanying guilt. May I ask, what is PBR.. at my house it stands for Professional Bull Riders budget, which honestly-- can be pretty good. And to answer your question, my mom use to say I had a Nordstroms diet on a kmart/Walmart budget... Is this being bratty? No I don't think so b/c I don't stew about it not being perfect if I can't get it my way. I just know what I want and am willing to wait for or plan it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 May I ask, what is PBR.. at my house it stands for Professional Bull Riders budget, which honestly-- can be pretty good. And to answer your question, my mom use to say I had a Nordstroms diet on a kmart/Walmart budget... Is this being bratty? No I don't think so b/c I don't stew about it not being perfect if I can't get it my way. I just know what I want and am willing to wait for or plan it that way. Pabst Blue Ribbon (beer) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Funny story in this vein: We needed an area rug for our family room when we moved here. We looked and looked and looked and looked. There aren't that many stores on this island but I'm pretty sure I saw the inside of 90% of them. I didn't like it or hubby didn't like it or hubby didn't want to pay that much. With stuff like this, hubby is the picky one. Finally I said "look, you want a thousand dollar rug for a hundred dollars and that just isn't going to happen! You are driving me crazy!!!" Then, we went to Lowe's to look (AGAIN!). In the middle of the aisle was a 10x13 rug someone had special-ordered and returned. Hubby found the person to talk to about rugs. The guy sold the 10x13, $980 rug to my hubby for $200. I really had to eat my words with that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWSJ Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I'm so with you on this. I cringe when people buy me gifts. I appreciate them and all but... For example: I wanted a small 6 watt LED water/shock proof blackened flashlight that fits in my pocket. It costs $50. I wouldn't buy it - it's too expensive. So, on my birthday, my MIL gets me a large dollar store flashlight that barely works out of the packaging. Later, my wife explained that I had mentioned wanting a flashlight... She just doesn't get it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabeth in IL Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 We went car shopping today and I think that I convinced him to fix our car that was in an accident for $1800 instead of buying a van for $6000 that isn't really what we want. I'd rather wait and save to buy something good then buy something now that is okay but not great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Yes, I'm a Birke's snot. I want a big fat Birke's diamond, table cut, at least a carat on platinum. After that, I want a stove-pipe cut wedding band. And as the grand finale, when we've got all the kids raised up and on their way, I want an eternity ring . . . diamond and three sapphires . . . the sapphires rectangular and little square diamonds. There -- I'm a snot, an unapologetic Birke's diamond ring snot, and I don't think I'll wear anything on my ring finger until I've got just that. I shop second-hand, live on wall-to-wall pink carpet, drive a 1999 Sienna beater . . . but I have a dream and that is to wear a big, fat Birkes diamond. I'm serious. Tricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Sure. My list isn't long but chocolate and coffee are definitely at the top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I still don't have a bedspread because I refuse to settle for one that isn't even close to what I want. I have found several I like, but they are between $800 and $1500. I will *not* pay that much for a bedspread! Not even if I could easily afford it! I just can't do it. Some day I will probably make the one I want. Ha! Yeah, right. My mom bought us a very soft blanket. It is not the right color, but it is very warm and comfy. If she hadn't bought it, I'd probably still be looking for just the right one. I have towels that color. Why can't they make a nice, soft blanket in it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I don't think it's necessarily a "brat" thing or a sense of entitlement. For me, I'd often rather wait to get what I really want. It's usually worth the waiting! As for the little things...give me one small scoop of Ben & Jerry's over a whole bowl of store brand ice cream any day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 You're right, of course. Ok, I will stop feeling bad about this forthwith. Karen, you join me. And we'll ride in my van with leather seats that I put my foot down for (and bought at Cherry Hill Nissan, TYVM) and go meet *anj* with a pint of Chunky Monkey, three bowls, and spoons. (And if anyone reading thinks the spoons will be plastic, you really aren't paying attention.) Oh, and anyone else within driving distance of karenciavo is welcome -- but give us fair warning so we can bring more ice cream. Yes, yes, yes!!! I still haven't gotten over the retirement of Rainforest Crunch. It was my total favorite flavor! And btw...I am also "guilty" of wanting the best. And I don't even feel like listing all the proof of that either, let me tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Later, my wife explained that I had mentioned wanting a flashlight... She just doesn't get it... Wait a minute. You're a guy????? I had no idea. Back to your regularly scheduled chatting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Sure. My list isn't long but chocolate and coffee are definitely at the top. Yes, I'm definitely like that when it comes to coffee. And dh doesn't drink it, so I can rationalize that since I don't even make a full pot every day I can indulge in the more expensive stuff without breaking the bank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Wait a minute. You're a guy????? I had no idea.. :lol: (Me neither!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 So sometimes it is amazingly clean and other times not so much. It an OCD thing. Almost all of my issues like this are related to OCD. I have pictures that haven't been hung in years because they can't be done perfectly. I frequently can't make any purchase at all because I can't make up my mind or I can't find the perfect thing. So there many basics that I don't have, like curtains, rugs, more than just absolute linens. I haven't bought a bra in years because I can't find exactly the right one. I do have to admit it's probably cheaper to live this way. But I drive my family crazy. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWSJ Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 You're a guy????? Yes, I'll return to my closet now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 So sometimes it is amazingly clean and other times not so much. It an OCD thing. Almost all of my issues like this are related to OCD. I have pictures that haven't been hung in years because they can't be done perfectly. I frequently can't make any purchase at all because I can't make up my mind or I can't find the perfect thing. So there many basics that I don't have, like curtains, rugs, more than just absolute linens. I haven't bought a bra in years because I can't find exactly the right one. I do have to admit it's probably cheaper to live this way. But I drive my family crazy. :crying: Well blow me down! Really this is an OCD thing?? Oh my word I am the same way and always just thought I was a freak (well probably am that too ;)) I never even thought of it being an OCD thing. I need to go google that................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Yes, I'll return to my closet now... No, no, no!!! You're allowed to be a guy!;) We won't even make you wear a scarlet G! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWSJ Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 :lol: (Me neither!) You should see me at local homeschooling events: Twenty women and me. (It's more obvious in person...) After 10 months, I still get strange looks like I must be confused and at the wrong event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Go buy yourself that LED thingamajig. I will spend money on my dh and kids that I won't spend on myself, and that's just wrong. So, please, give me a thrill and get yourself what you want/need. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 She couldn't make her mind about buying things so she just bought everything and also had a hoarding complex to the point where you couldn't walk through her house. She also eventually reached a point where she never cleaned and then it reached a point where it was overwhelming so she couldn't do it. It took a month and a crew of ten to clean it out when she passed away. One of my dds is even worse than me with the OCD. My her dh get in a tiff with her, he walks through the house and slightly tilts the pictures or slightly moves things out of their appropraite places. We all find it quite funny. OCD is a strange thing but you are not alone. We all crazy here. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 You are not alone. "Quality over quantity" is my motto. I'd rather have no milk - if I can't have my organic! I'd rather stay home than go to a crowded beach if I can't have my private beach. I'd rather a few NICE things than a bunch of cheap stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paula j Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 :iagree: I've gotten quite a few pieces of furniture myself driving through Haddonfield on trash day. And a beautiful, 10'x14' 100% wool oriental rug from Strawbridges.[/quote) Exactly! If you live near a military base you can have some awesome brand name stuff for free just by driving through housing on trash day. Seems it's often much cheaper for them to trash it and buy new when they get to the next destination. When dsil was pregnant she got her crib, playpen, and a brand new $120 stroller that someone hadn't even found time to take out of the box and put together before moving on. I am still using a very nice broyhill sectional they picked up that couldn't have been more than a few weeks old. You see, her dh had grown up quite frugally and just couldn't leave such good stuff on the curb so by the time they got shipped out she had 5 living room sets! In a way I think she was happy they bought a home off base when they got there because he didn't have to walk past all the things he could resist on his morning walk.:glare: Gotta say, I miss it though.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Yes, but it only applies to pickles. They MUST be Claussen's little ones. That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 What's wrong with standards? LOL I'd go hungry before eating low quality meat. It's choice, and would never subject my family to not being fed. Same thing with ice cream, dessert, vacation, etc. I'm coveting a particular purse. Wanted it for FIVE years, but will not buy a fake. It's all or nothing. Much like my diet, or house cleaning, etc. It's all or nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jail warden Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 You should see me at local homeschooling events: Twenty women and me. (It's more obvious in person...) After 10 months, I still get strange looks like I must be confused and at the wrong event. LOL! Literally! I had to read my dh the mini-thread. I love the obvious part! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jail warden Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I LOVE it when someone gets me exactly what I wanted, but MIL hears that we need or want something and buys us TONS of it and it's usually the cheap crap. I will do without until I can get what I really want in some areas. Such as, my house is not very nicely decorated because I don't have the money to buy some nice things and I'm not willing to waste the money on something I don't really want, just because it's cheaper. I guess for me it's more the waste not, want not philosophy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 You should see me at local homeschooling events: Twenty women and me. (It's more obvious in person...) After 10 months, I still get strange looks like I must be confused and at the wrong event. LOL You, Volty, and Plaid Dad: the He-Man Homeschoolers Club! :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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