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Parent-Coach relationships or conflict resources? I know I've seen posts here


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about parents disagreeing with coaches choices etc., but I was wondering if any of you had any great resources for dealing with coaches? OR other parents? My kids play baseball and two things are bothering me.

 

1) coaches who refuse to let little kids play multiple positions so some kids 7 &8 get stuck in the outfield game after game etc (not my kids, but still UNFAIR for skill development and sportsmanship)

 

and 2) parents who constantly coach their kids from the bleachers!

 

I just wonder if other sporting organizations have rules or websites about these things, kwim? I'm thinking of dealing with these issues in the LONG TERM... maybe long-term programs, etc...to build positive bonds, behaviors, etc ::D

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about parents disagreeing with coaches choices etc., but I was wondering if any of you had any great resources for dealing with coaches? OR other parents? My kids play baseball and two things are bothering me.

 

1) coaches who refuse to let little kids play multiple positions so some kids 7 &8 get stuck in the outfield game after game etc (not my kids, but still UNFAIR for skill development and sportsmanship)

 

and 2) parents who constantly coach their kids from the bleachers!

 

I just wonder if other sporting organizations have rules or websites about these things, kwim? I'm thinking of dealing with these issues in the LONG TERM... maybe long-term programs, etc...to build positive bonds, behaviors, etc ::D

 

FOr number 1: Your organization might have rules in place to combat that problem. Unless they are a travel team, kids at 7 & 8 need to rotate positions every other inning or so. The coach needs to be on top of this and most coaches make out a spread sheet BEFORE the game so they are not trying to make these decisions on the fly. A good coach will keep these records from game to game. If your coach isn't doing this, and won't do it, I'd talk to someone higher up.

 

For number 2: Don't stand by those parents. Move far away. If you can still hear them, put on headphones and listen to music. I say my rosary. Parents like that suck the life out of me. I intensely dislike them.

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1) We've chosen to play in a league that requires each child to spend at least one inning in the outfield and at least one inning in the infield each game. I don't think there is a thing you can do to convince an individual coach of the merits of this. You can try to convince the league to implement a rule but I truly don't think you can change a coach's mind about this without a rule. The best coaches do it without the rule!

 

2) I don't think you can do anything about the parents either. My ds middle school coaches implemented a 20 ft. rule (parents need to stay 20 ft from the kids) and parents are told not to coach from the bleachers. It is the best the coaches can do to discourage it. It really helps but in the end there is not much anyone can do about a parent coaching their kid. Our coaches threaten to bench the kids if it happens. It's never really come to that but I think it helps.

 

I've been to probably close to a thousand kids' baseball games. I've seen parents told to leave because they are yelling at the umpire but I've never seen anything come of yelling at a kid :(

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We have a small Parks and Rec League that is just getting its feet wet in organized sports, so really, they have NOTHING. I was talking to the one paid staff member who handles organized sports and she'd LOVE to have somebody start researching/organizing rules of conduct. Right now, we really have nothing.

 

As for standing away from those parents, you are right...even if I do nothing, for my sanity, I need to :tongue_smilie:. Those poor kids. I can't help but wonder what they endure before and after games :confused:

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My dad got kicked out of more of my brother's & my sporting events than I can count. He was usually drunk. What my DB & I endured before and after the games was everything you hear at the games times 10.

 

I can spot "that parent" a mile away. I go out of my way to befriend their kids and talk up their kids. I cheer for them by name. When I bring snacks, I give them theirs first. I compliment the kids and try to mention a specific play when I do it.

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My husband has coached all levels of Little League in 4 different leagues since graduating college and has been a board member in 2 of those leagues. Here are code of conduct examples in leagues he has been involved with:

 

http://clll.sportslink.ws/FileArea/108161/Docs/Parent%20Code%20of%20Conduct.doc (Hopefully that worked, if not go to www.clll.org and click on documents at the top and select code of conduct.)

 

http://files.leagueathletics.com/Text/Documents/5464/6601.pdf (or go to www.mcleanll.com and click on documents and select spectator and player code of conduct)

 

I will say this - as a coach, my husband is so focused on the game that he has no idea what goes on in the stands (other than what I tell him :lol:) so your coach may be oblivious to this happening. But I will say that in more than one league, more than one dad has been banned from the bleacher area and had to watch games from the outfield fence. Either the umpire or a board member on duty at the field was there to enforce the rule.

 

As to playing time, at that age, he always has each kid play at least 2 innings in the infield (unless there is a true safety issue) and one in the outfield. Each year there seems to be one coach who doesn't do the same. There are no written rules on the subject in our league but it is an unwritten one. Coaches at the 8 and under age range are reminded of this at a mandatory coaching clinic held at the start of each year.

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Thanks all! Pink and Green Mom, those links are EXACTLY what kinds of resources I am looking for!

 

Just last night, a little boy was up to bat and his mom, yes mom, was yelling, "choke up, choke up" so he did. His coach tried to get him to step back from the plate a bit, and mom started yelling "bend your knees," and on and on...poor kid struck out...but was being yelled at incessantly! The coach shot her a look, but she never saw it :confused:. Later, he missed fly ball -- she screamed at him! Then, she nagged him the whole way to the car.

 

So sad...

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One of our local sports organizations has very clear codes of conduct for parents and coaches that address both issues you've brought up:

 

Kidsports Parent Code of Conduct

 

Kidsports Coach Code of Conduct

 

There is also a sportsmanship statement to be read aloud before each game, stating expectations that everyone be respectful to coaches, officials, parents and players.

 

Cat

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Thanks myfunnybunch....those are really helpful too!

 

It is clear our Parks and Rec needs something. That way, our director can put them in the folders, have parents and coaches sign them --- maybe even POST them on the fields -- then when things do go awry, refer to them!

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It is clear our Parks and Rec needs something. That way, our director can put them in the folders, have parents and coaches sign them --- maybe even POST them on the fields -- then when things do go awry, refer to them!

 

Yes. Exactly.

 

Parent behavior, in particular, became such a huge problem that these guidelines were established. They made such a huge deal of it that an article about the codes of conduct and the codes themselves were printed in the newspaper, and each parent and coach gets a copy at the beginning of each season. (I believe they're required to sign a copy too.)

 

My kids aren't in Kidsports any more, but I have a friend who says things are a lot better than they used to be once these policies were implemented AND constantly emphasized.

 

Cat

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