Aubrey Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 My best friend just had her first baby, & it ended up being a c-section. She's about 4.5 hrs away, so I'm not sure what to do to help. She & her dh are very quiet, very private people, so I think any kind of maid help would...probably...be more of an intrusion or inconvenience. And I imagine that would be way more than I could afford anyway. There are only the 3 of them, but her dh is not particularly domestically inclined (though he may learn!), & she's easily overwhelmed. Even going to visit them in a few mos seems...well...dh & I are *very* calm & quiet people, but next to our friends, we look like a herd of cattle, kwim? Anyway, my q isn't about going to visit. That's WAY off in the future anyway. Is there anything that I can do from this far away that would be helpful/appreciated? I've always gone home 3hrs after my babies were born, so I'm sort-of lost here. And while we're at it, let me ask about what to say. She seemed defensive on the phone the other day when she called to tell me she was going to be induced. I know natural-birth people tend to look down on people who go the hospital rte, but I don't think I fall into that category. I really think it's a personal choice--some people are absolutely more comfortable in a hosp, & I think that's fine. No, I think it's important. Since it was just a feeling, though, I couldn't really tell her not to worry about what I think, her decisions are great, etc. She wanted a natural birth but had long ago accepted that that might not be possible (due to family history), so should I have said I was sorry she wasn't getting to do that? I walked a fine line between that & how exciting that you'll finally be holding your baby on Wednesday & how great it is that drs *can* induce, etc. But nobody wants a c-section, right? I mean, it seems like *of course* I should express sympathy for that. I know she wanted to deliver naturally but had accepted that she might not be able to do so. I'm afraid that sympathy could come across wrong, like sounding judgmental. But maybe I'm overthinking it. She's just really quiet & hard to read at times, & w people like that...I prefer not to even mention things that we don't agree on, because I know I have a tendency to come across...too sure of myself, maybe? Anyway, they *are* our best friends, they *know* we love them, but I also know they're tired & probably overwhelmed. I don't want to add negatively to the emotions they may be feeling. Or lack of sleep. Or whatever. Any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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