For people who work at home or whose dh works at home, how do you . . .

[KidsHappen]

manage having a houseful of children and making a quite work space at the same time? My dh is consulting now and occasionally has to work from home. He has his own office with french doors but it is on the first floor. This is the main living space and where the children spend most of the day. I only work with one of the children at a time so there is always a loose child some where and I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to keep them all quite during the day so that he can work. The eight year old especially seems to be having a hard time with the concept that she can't ask him questions or show him her work during the work day. Unless I plant myself outside his door, she slips off to visit with him when I am working with the other children. I don't have this problem when I am writing but then they spend way more time with me and I think that they miss him more now than he travels. Any ideas?

[PariSarah]

We rarely get any work done when the "working" parent stays home. The one who's trying to study gets annoyed at all the noise, and the stay-at-home parent gets annoyed at having his/her "normal" day with the kids disrupted.

 

We've resolved it by stating categorically that the home is for the kids and the library is for studying. Unless there's a very good reason that the working parent has to be home, the burden falls to her to deal with the noise--not to the parent who's parenting to make the house quiet, nor to the kids to adopt an abnormal level of quiet for the sake of the working parent. So, on days I choose not to go in to the library, I'm choosing to get less work done.

 

I imagine that it would be different if we had a different house--one where there was room for separation or better soundproofing or something.

 

Perhaps, if this is something that you're going to keep up long term, you could look into re-arranging your living space? Is there anywhere else you can move your dh's office?

[Melinda in VT]

1. The working parent retreats to our bedroom, which doubles as an office, and locks the door. Children are not allowed to disturb the working parent. Disturbing the working parent means coming into the bedroom or banging on the locked bedroom door. Playing noisily in the hall or in an adjacent room is fine.

 

2. The working parent is responsible for tuning out the normal childhood noise in the house. Earphones, white noise machine, whatever. There is no, "Be quiet, Mommy is working.":lol:

[Amy loves Bud]

A lot of training. Bud has worked from home since 2002, so the kids were young when he started. They know not to be wild maniacs when he's in there working, but he's also pretty good about letting them know when he's just doing boring paperwork or something and doesn't care so much about the noise. On the other hand, if the door to his office is closed, we know it is a Very Important Call he is on, so we have to be vewwwwy quiet.

 

I do try to have the unoccupied kid have quiet, independent work while I'm working with the other one.

 

Our big problem is during the summer, because the neighborhood kids don't get it. at. all.

 

But really, just a lot of practice and preemptive reminders will go a long way. I do believe that kids need some crazy time, and I make sure that they have some time like that everyday.

[Brigitte]

manage having a houseful of children and making a quite work space at the same time? My dh is consulting now and occasionally has to work from home. He has his own office with french doors but it is on the first floor. This is the main living space and where the children spend most of the day. I only work with one of the children at a time so there is always a loose child some where and I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to keep them all quite during the day so that he can work. The eight year old especially seems to be having a hard time with the concept that she can't ask him questions or show him her work during the work day. Unless I plant myself outside his door, she slips off to visit with him when I am working with the other children. I don't have this problem when I am writing but then they spend way more time with me and I think that they miss him more now than he travels. Any ideas?

 

 

All the "gurus" that I listen to with regards to working my business at home suggest that you make a stop and go sign for the office area. When the sign is turned to "stop" kids cannot enter or disturb the person working unless there is blood involved. The key is to make sure that there are intervals during the day that the sign is on "go." Part of the problem is that the kids are used to being welcome sometimes and not others. They have no way of distinguishing when is a good time or a bad time. The sign takes care of that problem.

 

HTH's

Brigitte

[Legomom]

The rule is not to disturb daddy when he is working however he is the final enforcer on it because there are days and times when he doesn't mind if they come in, so he is really the one who makes the decision on that. They have also learned to walk in and look at him to see if he is on the phone first before they start talking.

 

I work at home too, but the noise doesn't bother me. If I have to make a phone call, I make a big announcement. "Everyone quiet, I'm on a business call!"

[Josie]

I actually LOVE it when my dh works from home. I remember when he first started doing it that I was very concerned about how it would work. It has worked out fine...when he can do it. Our dc know that he is working and just leave him alone. He does try to come out and "play" for a few minutes every once and a while. They just enjoy when he does get to play.

 

Really, you just have to let the dc know what is expected of them. Now, don't expect total silence, but they can be taught not to scream like a howler monkey! Dh doesn't mind if they come in occasionally to ask a question or to have him get a knot out, or whatever. You just have to set the boundaries and the dc will adjust. I just caution against being unrealistic in your expectations.

[Peela]

Dh runs therapy type groups from home, used to do massage...he has always worked from home...so the kids have been trained since birth to be quiet near daddy's work area, and not to disturb him.

Recently we rearranged our house and it is working much better. I always had to be quiet in the kitchen before- now we can make as much noise as we like and he cant hear.

I would say this is something daddy himself needs to do for himself, tell the kids not to disturb him- maybe get together for morning tea or lunch ...it's not all up to you. My husband has no problem telling the kids to leave him alone.

[Tutor]

Actually, dh spends time working in his office on campus, and I often run to the library or a nearby coffee shop to work, but on the days we work from home, we have a headphone rule. Whichever parent is wearing the headphones may not be disturbed. Half the time, when I have the headphones on there is no music playing. I just keep them on to send the message that I am working.

 

Also, my dh is not as distractable as I am once he has his headphones on, so he sits contentedly at his desk in the middle of things and works. I, on the other hand, am easily distracted, so I set-up a desk in our bedroom (which is off the main living area) and close the door to keep distractions to a minimum.

 

Both dh and I have commented that we'd like to put a Dahl shed in the yard as an office. Roald Dahl (I think I spelled that right) used a garden shed as his writing office. We'd love to have something like that in our backyard, but until we own our own house, it's not happening.

[Susie in CA]

The kids have been trained not to disturb Dad during work hours. However, we also had to train Dad not to come downstairs when we are around. He, too, needed to learn to time his downstairs visits. He had to come down and spend lunch or he had to wait until we were out of the house or in the yard. Otherwise the kids would just attack him. It has been working really well for years now. I can even leave the kids home while Dad is working to run an errand. :D

 

Susie

[Twinmom]

DH has been working from home exclusively (save travel) the entire time we've had children. It was okay until the twins were born, but it did get berserk after that! They just don't understand the meaning of the word "wait!" Homeschooling has been okay...but only since I still have the twins in preschool! ;)

 

For us, moving to a 1920s home with a converted garage has been the answer. DH has his office separate from the house (our garage is detached) and it's pretty plush out there with a stone fireplace, etc. He's home but not home, if you know what I mean! The kids are trained not to enter the room when he's on the phone, but I think that stop and go sign is a fabulous idea!

[pixelroper]

This can be tricky:) our solution is *office* space away from family space, when the door is closed assume *do not disturb*. It helps to have the room to separate, dh has always worked from home and prefers basements for some reason (even when there is a den or extra room) I'm less successful at being left alone, and have to remind them now & then that I should only be disturbed for emergencies, not to find missing toys, keys etc. Two (or more) phones with an intercom feature also helps to keep anyone from popping in & out.

 

Had to teach dh to stop interrupting school time too! LOL... he is still working on it...

[LizzyBee]

We have an office, but we are converting it to a bedroom for dd14. I am an extrovert and I'm much happier working on my laptop at the dining room table than in the office. I am usually good at tuning out the noise, but on days that I really need to concentrate, I just ask the kids to keep the noise level down. If I need to call a client, I warn them in advance so that they are extra quiet.

[Kay in Cal]

Quiet work space? Bwah ha ha!!

 

I usually work at a desk in the bedroom (upstairs, with the door shut) but our boys still run in and out all the time. I'm pretty good about being interrupted though, I don't easily lose my train of thought.... also, I do a lot of my writing late at night or early in the morning. In some cases I can sit downstairs and work on my laptop in the midst of it all--earplugs are one of my favorite things!

[Mama Lynx]

My husband works from home sporadically, so we've never been able to "train" the children.

 

While we had young children, I would very often just have to take them out of the house when he was going to be on phone meetings. It was a pain, but our house was small, and the children were loud :)

 

But if he didn't have a phone meeting, it was up to him to drown out the children. If he needed more help than that from me, he could ask. But he kept the door closed, and the children did understand that they were to stay. out. when that door was closed.

 

Right now mine is home, but not working. I love the man to death, but if he doesn't get a job soon, one of us is going to go insane.