co-op question

[Alice]

I know ultimately no one can make this decision for me and I also know that it's a decision that probably seems more important right now than it actually is...and that in the scheme of things is pretty unimportant. That said, I'm looking for some help thinking through whether or not to do a co-op next year.

 

The co-op we'd do is one a good friend does and really likes. We know some other families in it peripherally through other activities. It's church based and has a good reputation. It meets one morning a week. The classes are semi-academic. For C6's age he'd have things like music (choir/bells), PE, art, science, FIAR and drama. Later when the kids are older they offer electives but for the first few years they only offer one set of classes per grade and the kids stay together with their grade the whole time. I'd be doing it primarily for the social aspect and not the academics, although I like the opportunity to do things like music, PE and drama that are hard to do on our own. We visited one day last year and he had a blast and I liked everyone I met.

 

So the pros are: Offers some classes that he's not getting now. He would really enjoy the time with other kids. Hopefully would give him the opportunity to meet and make friends with a wider circle of kids. They also offer preschool classes for H3, which I'm sure he would enjoy and the way they are set-up all moms are assigned to a support group that meets weekly in addition to whatever co-op duties you have (the support group is at the same time as co-op not an extra time. You might teach for 3 out of 4 sessions and have support group the 4th.)

 

The major con is that I'm not sure I want to give up the time in our week. Because of my work we have two days that are already half-days (Mon and Wed). Wed I work in the mornings and get home after lunch and they tend to be very light days as far as school goes. It's just hard to get things going that late in the day. Dh is home when I'm not and is very willing to do school, it's just been a matter of me getting my act together to leave him lesson plans. If we do co-op it's on Thurs mornings, and I'm pretty sure we won't do a full day on Thurs afternoons after co-op. That leaves us with only two full days at home, for any other activities/errands/appointments etc and the only days that I'm here the whole day for school.

 

The other minor con is that I'm pretty sure the director is going to be strict about C6's age and put him in 1st grade next year. He has a "late" birthday so that's the grade he'd be in in ps but I have him in 1st grade now and he'll be in 2nd grade next year as far as our homeschool goes and in everything else he does (Scouts, etc.) (Whether or not this was a wise decision on my part is I'm sure something some people will wonder, but at this point it's done.) It's a stupid little thing but just annoys me that the director of a homeschool group is the one person I've run into who is super strict about the birthday/grade thing. I'm not sure it matters that much for doing the co-op, other than it might make C6 feel weird to be in a lower grade than he is used to saying he is and the fact that he's used to being with slightly older kids and does well with them. But since it's not really for academics, it's a minor issue.

 

I think overall I kind of don't want to do it, I just like being home more and I'm not sure I want to get involved in a whole additional thing, with a whole additional set of people and responsibilities and things to do. But the only doubts I've had about homeschooling so far are that I do think C6 would enjoy more interaction with other kids and would enjoy more friends. This would provide some of that I hope. So, I'm leaning towards trying it but I keep second-guessing myself.

 

If you read this far, thank you, I know it's long. Any words of wisdom are much appreciated, although as I said in the beginning I know no one can really make the decision for me.

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[lisamarie]

I signed my kids up for a co-op this winter and after 1 time, I decided that it wasn't for us. I just couldn't feel comfortable about giving up another day. We already have Tuesdays for playgroup, Thursdays my 4 year old has preschool thru our church (mostly social, not a lot of learning going on), and then one day is errands day for groceries and the library. That's already 3 days I have to work around and adjust our learning schedule. 1 more threw me over the edge.

 

Maybe down the road when my kids are through with preschool and playgroup we will have a day open to do a co-op, but for now it was just too much and I couldn't fit all the schooling into the week. But my kids are around their friends a lot as it is between playgroup and church Sunday School. Next year my DS will start Scouts, so he'll get to see his friends twice a month. And I do try to have a family over once a month so my kids can play with their kids. During the summer, we have weekly beach days on top of playgroup, so they'll get lots of friend time in the summer.

[Snickerdoodle]

For a 6yo, and already having two mornings a week taken up with other obligations, I think if I was going to commit to something it would be something purely social such as a once a week playground meet-up or playdate rotation with a couple of good friends.

[Halcyon]

that's tough. we have one morning of hs soccer and every other week ds has a marine class. That's the max we can do, and I sometimes skip the soccer if I feel overwhelmed.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I joined a co-op this year that sounds very similar to the one you are describing. Teaching 3 classes and having a break for Mom time. I too knew a friend that loved it. We joined and it was a major committment.

I had to prepare for classes. There was a wide range of types of homeschoolers so that the kids in the class were very different in skill ranges. There were set rules about finding replacements if you couldn't come. It was your responsibility to find a substitute mom to teach your class from the lists of mom's. It also costed a lot in the end. I spent a lot of money and there was always something else that costed money.

In the end, I was basically having to just scrap Mondays for "our" home school b/c of the co-op. I was spending part of the weekend preparing for "my" classes. I thought I was committing to something social but it really felt like school. My experience with co-ops is that it is akin to a private school feeling, but you are the teacher working. You also get a lot of teachers (moms) with different teaching philosophies or religious beliefs than you may have. For me, it was not worth the amount of time it was taking away from me and the kids and our home school.

I agree that a purely social play date or park day might be more what you are looking for to get that social aspect.

It was very stressful for me to be in a co-op. I would not just visit the co-op, but get a copy of their by-laws, handbook, rules, and fees up front. I went in blind on a lot of it and thought it would be a fun extra for the kids.

Edited February 18, 2010 by OpenMinded

[QuirkyKapers]

I would keep in mind that you are going to have responsibilities that come with being in a co-op (i.e. in some way, you will have to help.) In some co-ops, it requires everyone being willing to teach. In others, it is just plugging in and helping in some way.

 

For me, I really wanted to kids interact with other children their age. I finally found a co-op that fit. However, even though I knew there would be a commitment I would need to make on my part since it is a co-op, it has been a lot of work. This particular co-op has all the mom take a turn teaching. In some ways it has been really great, and in some ways it has been extremely stressful.

 

I have also been plugging in with other homeschool activities. There is a program the YMCA offers for homeschoolers. Some other programs for homeschoolers are: ice skating, metroparks and natural history museum. For me, I found I enjoy just being able to go somewhere and have someone else worry about the planning and teaching. :)

 

Of course, it really is a matter of determining what you like. For some people, teaching groups of children is something that they love so it doesn't feel like a big commitment. For others, like myself, I prefer to be behind the scenes. So, teaching a group a kids, even though I can do it, isn't on my list of top 10 things I really like to do.

[happi duck]

FWIW: We tried a weekly co-op and I really hated losing a day of our own stuff and our own routine. I wasn't expecting that feeling so the fact that you're already thinking that way might mean something. Like others have posted, there are other avenues for time with other kids...something more low key and flexible.

 

If you do join the co-op don't sweat the age/grade thing. Just let your child know that it's just what the rule is for this group. In any group of kids there will be those who function above and below "grade level" (hate that term!). Your child won't be alone skills wise. In the organizers defense she has probably had problems with people choosing grades at random. I know one family that changes their kids' grades depending on what's offered...suddenly the 4th grader is a 6th grader if the class is desirable. If you allow one person to 'change' grades you open the floodgates, using the rigid public school rule takes away any argument.

[momofkhm]

With what you stated about time at home, I'd be hesitant. BUT you also are talking about a 6 yo.

 

I have a high schooler, a middler schooler and an elementary schooler. We do a weekly co-op like you describe but it is only 2 classes for an hour each. No definite support group for mom although our Bible study classes aften end up as such. We go to co-op for all the reasons you say you'd go as well.

 

They also make my ds go to a younger group. They group the grades (k-3, 4-6, 7-12). DS is on the young side for 4 so for each time he should move up, he doesn't. Honestly he doesn't mind. I don't know that he notices either. But there are several calsses for him to chose from. He's not with the same group of kids every class.

 

You could always try next year and see how it goes. A young age would be easier than a later one!

[TravelingChris]

I am going to come in on the side of trying co-op. This is particularly true for little ones. Six year olds don't need much time anyway. All if my kids have loved co-ops when we had them. Maybe your circumstances are different but my kids didn't have neighborhood children living near them and lacked social outlets. One time a week for church which may or may not have children for your to play with and maybe a team or Scouts was just not enough. This social problem was equal for both my introverts and extroverts. While it probably bothered my extrovert more, my introverts were the ones who really would lose out by not going to co-op.

[Ferdie]

I really think it depends on your child. If they are an extrovert and love being around friends I would probably try it. Like one of the above posters mentioned, you don't need 5 hour days to hs a 1st grader. Focus on skill subjects like math, reading and spelling every day. Save the knowledge subjects like history and science for the days when you have more time.

 

However, if your child is an introvert and gets their energy from being alone I would probably skip the co-op and put them in one when they are older. No sense in running around town with a child that young unless it meets a social need.

[Alice]

Thank you all for reading and commenting. Even posting the question helped me think through the issue. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do but you all gave me some things to think about. I hadn't really thought about the extra time the co-op might require for me to prepare for classes. I also realized I'm not that worried about getting school "done" in the remaining time. As you all point out, he's only 6 so it's not like we spend all day doing school. It's more about just losing margin in our lives by being busier. And my own introverted nature that would rather be at home. Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful responses, it's helped a lot.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Important question: Can you accomplish your academic needs and do this co-op?

 

Next, the age/grade thing is an age old issue in hs co-ops. ;) Not directing toward you, but in general, people have different definitions of K-3rd grades, so while Sally says Junior is in 1st grade, his abilities will vary greatly from Tanyas 1st grader. Would you like to be the teacher that says, "Um Tanya, your first grader can't read well like the other 1st graders, please put him in the K class."? Perhaps Junior can read, but can't do the writing portion of the class. Perhaps his attention span is not long enough for what the teacher has planned. Is co-op worth the drama? No. Really it isn't, especially if you're doing it as a social outlet.

 

Having a firm cut off avoids arguments, hurt feelings, and sets a standard in an environment that is less home school and more classroom. You can decide where he is for home, but this environment is best served my a firm date.

 

One would hope that parents could just properly place their children...trust me, not so. There would be a lot of over achievers in the wrong place. There will be a lot of "advanced in their mothers eyes" students that are not advanced in the teachers eyes.

 

On the other hand, you may end up with children well beyond the skill level of their peers. So what? They're not there for academics. You can easily explain the reason for him being in a different class at co-op. "At home we work on grade level. At co-op we separate by birthdays."

 

We went through this years ago and I have concluded that the firm date works b/c the classroom environment is different than the home school environment. Group settings change many things.

 

In your situation, how much social time do they need? If they're needs are met elsewhere focus on those fundamentals at home. You'll regret it if you don't.

 

Just my 3 cents :)

Edited February 18, 2010 by johnandtinagilbert

[Carol in Cal.]

Once you start, it's hard to stop, even if you don't like it. The kids miss each other and yours might get all wistful.

 

Also, morning time is the most precious. If you can find an afternoon coop, jump on it! That way you can get the academics done first.

 

Grab for the best, not the better. Try to organize what you want. For instance, start an afternoon book club. Or do Junior Great Books one afternoon per week and invite others to join for free. Or host a SOTW project afternoon, or a science experiment afternoon--whatever tends to be better in a group or whatever you tend not to get to. Put out an email to the homeschooling community and decide how many kids you will take, and then do it. If the kids are all at your house, you can invite them to stay longer, or not, as you choose. You will get something done better than now, and widen your children's circle of acquaintances.

 

Whenever I have done the latter, it has worked out very well. Whenever I have tried to just 'test out' a coop, I have ended up with more complications and such than I would have anticipated. I've dealt with these, and we have been in some very good coops, but the 'best' has been the ones that we hosted.

[Alice]

Tina-

Thanks for your thoughts. I do understand the reasonings behind the age thing. I think I was more irritated last year because I called and specifically asked the director what he would do with a "late" birthday child, he said it would be fine, I visited, C6 loved it, we applied and then the director called to say he would consider him a kindergartener due to age and they don't accept new kindergarteners (the K and preschool classes are only for sibs of older kids). It was all understandable, but I was irritated that he didn't tell me that up front so I got C6 excited about it. So that's a bit of history that I just need to get over if we do it...and I think I can. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned the age thing in my OP, the time factor is more of an issue for me.

 

As for meeting our other academic goals, I think the answer is yes for 2nd grade. My dh stays home when I work and we've always said that at some point he will do more teaching. This will involve more planning and some organization, but I think once we got into it having dh more directly involved could be a plus. So just because I'm gone most of Wed, doesn't meant the kids can't do school on Wed. Ultimately dh wants to teach, it's just a question of whether this is the time. Also, having a day committed to co-op just means less margin the rest of the week.

 

Carol- Interesting thoughts. I have thought about starting something here. I think ds would love to do a Jr. Lego League team and I thought about doing that and inviting some other families/kids to join. Another thought would be science. I'm very comfortable doing science experiments and such and I know a lot of moms aren't. A friend and I did a co-op preschool of sorts (it was just the two families) and it worked very well. So that's a good thought as something we could do to increase interaction with other homeschoolers but that might meet our needs more than the co-op. Also, I'm definitely worried about "trying" it and then deciding it's not right and finding it hard to stop. At this point, I'm not sure ds even remembers visiting it. After we visited last year he talked about it a lot and how he wanted to do co-op but he hasn't mentioned it in a long time. I haven't asked him about it because I think it's a decision I shoud make and not him.

[woolybear]

Once you start, it's hard to stop, even if you don't like it. The kids miss each other and yours might get all wistful.

 

 

 

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:iagree:We are in our third year of a coop and every session I debate, "Do I really want to continue with this?" The kids do and so we're still there.:) Yes, for us it is hard to stop. Goodness, this sounds like an addiction.

 

They definitely get some good things from it. However, I would say for us it is more social. I often feel that we could do the academics better at home. There is the factor of different teaching styles and also the school type situation of dealing with a larger group of kids.

 

 

You did say in your post that your ds had a blast. That's a really good thing. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like you have too much time at home. No, I can't say what you should do. Can you try it for part of the year? Perhaps a shorter commitment would be a good compromise.

[monalisa]

You sound very reluctant to give up the time during the day. I'd be really cautious about commiting. I'm in a similar boat of deciding what to do for next year, whether to continue with Classical Conversations or not (and I agree with it being hard to give it up now that we started it!). My dd likes it a lot, and would like to keep it up. I do not like going every week that much and am not convinced its a great use of time; I feel like giving up that day makes me feel "behind" all week. Based on your description of how you feel about it, I wouldn't do it. Especially since its a coop that will require you to contribute - if you're not ready to put time into it, it could be really stressful. I'd take the other suggestions of finding some afternoon social outlet or hosting something yourself (I may try this too).

[Ginevra]

We have a co-op that works similarly and I also work PT 2 days a week, so I understand that issue.

 

At this point, I feel like the co-op is essential. It meets for 2 semesters per year. My kids look forward to the start of classes and would be crushed if we couldn't do it.

 

I'm not telling you what you should do, but for us, the co-op is precious to my kids and I would not take it way unless the reason was critical.