Julie in Austin Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 OK, here's the deal--sorry it is so long. Last week at scouts, my 6.5yo decided that he didn't want to listen to the guest speaker. So he turned around and put his fingers in his ears. I told him that wasn't OK and he couldn't be rude to the speaker. He insisted. I levied consequences. Rinse and repeat. I kept increasing the consequences (giving him a little time to cool down between each one) and he finally got so mad that he attempted to leave the building. The scene ends with the following consequences earned and us leaving scouts early: --time out from 3pm until 9am (meaning: had to stay in spare bathroom, I brought him dinner, we also let him come out for chores and family devotional) --15$ fine --two weeks no screen time --one week in bedroom as soon as dinner is over until the morning (Note that these were earned in very small increments, as in, "if you choose to continue to be rude to the guest, you will lose another night of TV," I walk away, wait a minute, go back, "you have chosen to be rude and have lost another night of TV. If you continue to be rude . . ." etc.) On the way to scouts today, I reminded him that he has to participate (they were playing volleyball at the park) or he'll have more consequences. I reminded him that in our family, scouts is considered part of "school" and therefore mandatory. "OK mommy," he cheerfully agreed. A half hour into it, he walks over to me. "I got kicked out of the game." The adult leader had told him not to throw sand. He did it again and she kicked him out of the game. He's back in the spare bathroom for now. My sense is that participation in scouts has become a power struggle where he wants to prove to me that no matter what I do, he won't participate. I hate power struggles, but, again, I consider scouts to be a mandatory part of school and not optional since I consider the sports, socializing, activities, etc., part of our schooling. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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