Ever wonder if your child(ren) would be better off in PS?

[hlee]

This is my first year homeschooling, I have three DSs: 7 years old, almost 5 and 2. I largely homeschool my eldest, who has had two years in the PS. My 5 year old has had some preschool time but now stays home as well for school.

 

My eldest says he much prefers being at home to do school; he says he enjoys what we are doing and learning. BUT, I find myself wrestling with a couple of doubts and would love to hear from experienced homeschoolers to reassure me or give feedback on how I can improve.

 

1) Sometimes I feel like because my eldest is so comfortable being at home, he doesn't give me his best effort, and that being in an actual school motivates him to excel in a way that he doesn't have at home. Maybe it's being around other kids, I'm not sure. I know that when he was in PS, he was the angel child. At home during schooltime, he gets goofy way more than I'm sure he ever would at PS. And I feel like I'm always asking him to redo things that he could have done better. Am I just expecting too much from a 7 year old? Or does anyone else ever feel like having your kids schooled at home results in their having lower standards for themselves? (I often feel like such the taskmaster, asking for work to be redone or done better, etc.)

 

2) I want my kids to love to learn, I try to keep the workload reasonable, but most days my eldest just can't wait for school to be done! Does the whole "loving to learn" come much later, when the kids are older? Do all young kids just want to be done so they can relax and play? I know this might seem like a silly question, but it's just something I'm wondering. (i.e., do I have to be more proactive to make what we're studying more engaging?)

 

3) I often feel like the greatest liability my kids have in our homeschooling experience is me! In my fallenness and imperfection, I know I often am more impatient than I should be, or I don't give as much grace as I should. I'm an introvert, and being with my three sons all day in addition to homeschooling wears me out! I feel like I'm constantly asking God for forgiveness for my inadequacies! I do often find myself saying, "Would my kids be better off with teachers who have more experience and patience than I do??"

 

Despite all this, my two older boys say they want to do school at home for the 2010-2011 year as well. I'm glad about that, but worried that in the meantime I'm somehow scarring them for life in other ways! I would love any reassurance or advice from those who have been down this road before!

 

Thanks for reading this post. Any and all feedback welcome.

[mrs.m]

Newbie here too! :grouphug:

 

I keep telling myself that "I'm not screwing up my kids." over and over and over...

 

1. I often wonder this myself. But I saw his work coming home from K last year and I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't be pushed there to do his best either. At least at home someone is pushing him.

 

2. Sounds like a normal 7yo boy! My DS7 likes school but even on his favorite subjects, he just wants to get finished up. I keep it short and to the point. Not a lot of busy work and a lot of drill! My DD loves school and can go on most of the day. Such different personalities! I know it's working though because we didn't have time for history today and he was asking for me or DD to read SOTW before bed. That was a surprise!

 

3. We had a PS teacher last year that was very impatient and my DD encountered them in other years as well. So at least you know what you are dealing with since it's yourself. ;) I wish I had good advice on this one. I struggle too. I have to apologize to my children for losing it and excuse myself for a mama time-out. :(

 

Hopefully I was helpful. :grouphug:

[rose_king]

I would worry if you didn't worry. ;) The fact that you wonder if you are doing a good job probably means that you are. Do you really think a ps teacher would worry over your child?:glare: Maybe, but not likely. They have a roomfull of kids to concern themselves with. I'm sure they do what they can, but they are simply spread too thin. You, on the other hand, know your child. You know what they are capable of. You also know when to give them a little shove.:001_huh: Just know that it is all worth it. Even on days that aren't so great:banghead: We all have them...See, we're normal after all! Best of luck!

[Laura Corin]

I think we all have doubts. I do think that - when they are small - so long as you are following a decent academic path, the hugs and kisses that the child can get from you through the day are invaluable.

 

As a fellow introvert, I highly recommend instituting nap time/quiet time after lunch. It was my only route to sanity when mine were small.

 

Laura

[nd293]

Exactly the same with my dd9, although she was in a non-competitive school before homeschooling, and I am a)frustrated that she doesn't work to really do her best in anything and b) will get a huge shock if she one day goes back to school.

 

I don't think PS would be better for her (although probably better for me), but I long fondly for her IB private school, and would not complain about any of the inevitable school related problems if she had the chance at such a top class education again! We are doing a fair job at home, I think, but the reality is that I will never be able to offer her the breadth of learning activities that she got at school.

[Jenny Piaaree]

Helen,

 

This is only my second year hsing, and my first on my own (last year we went through a hs program through the local ps district), so I'm not the voice of experience you are looking for. However, let me be a voice of empathy! Everything you read about beginning hsing assures you that the first year is the hardest. It's true. So hang in there! It gets better!

 

Most of the feelings you have described are just how I have felt at one time or another. Last year I spent days despondent and in tears and convinced I was completely failing my children. I wasn't keeping up, I was disorganized, I yelled too much, I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing...everything.

 

But this year I feel much, MUCH better. My dc do not seem to have suffered any permanent damage. ;) And with a little more experience (and a lot of wisdom gleaned from this board!), things are progressing pretty well.

 

Reading your post, one thing that stands out is that your boys really like being at home with you. That's saying a lot - you're doing something right!

 

You mention that your ds can't wait for school to be done. Well, yeah, mine too (and I have a 9th and a 4th grader!). But how many kids in ps don't feel that way? Approximately none. How many in ps "love to learn"? IMHO, your dc stand a much better chance learning to love learning at home where they can go at their own pace and explore things that interest them than in a one-size-fits-all environment of ps.

 

Honestly, I feel like there are trade-offs. I may never be able to teach certain things as well as an experienced ps teacher, esp. at the higher levels. (Literary analysis comes to mind.) BUT, that being said, for us it is still completely worth it to continue hsing. Because even if I can't match the ps in some things, I can possibly surpass them in others, and even if I couldn't, it wouldn' t matter. Because that's not why I'm hsing anyway.

 

Yes, I want my dc to be solid academically, but it is more important to me that they are educated as complete human beings. I am far, far from perfect, but I can still do this better than any and all ps teachers, no matter how experienced.

 

You are their mother. No one is better for them than you.

 

 

In rambling around on this board the other night, I came across a post asking a similar question to yours. I'm sorry I don't know how to post a link here or I would. The post was titled "If you hs for academic reasons and found out a private school is doing a better job...how do you stay motivated?" The whole thread was good, but I was really moved by a post from Linda in Owasso. I hope she doesn't mind if I quote her here. (In fact I should have just quoted her and left out everything above. She's much more eloquent.)

"Hi Dorothy,

 

You have received some good advice, but your post really spoke to me so I wanted to respond. My husband and I are fortunate enough to have the income to afford the very best private schools for our two dd's. In fact, they both attended the top private school within an hour's drive of us (my older dd for 3 years and my younger dd for 6 months). Dh and I happily shelled out $1300 a month in tuition alone for our dd's to attend. We wanted the best for our dc -- no matter the cost. But, I learned that even though the school was/is fantastic.... it simply wasn't good enough for us.

 

The private school my girls attended was for academically gifted students and required an IQ test for admittance. Everything about this school looked fabulous. The school included Kumon math as part of their curriculum for students age 4 & up. My oldest dd received the honor of placing 2nd in the nation in Kumon math for 2 years in a row. Little math whiz, huh? Nope.... not really. She'd learned the system, that's all. In the two years since we began home schooling, her annual Stanford test in math has risen dramatically.

 

All children in this school wrote and illustrated a "book" in Kindergarten. Sounds impressive compared to a lot of other 5 year olds. But, in reality, the kid's parents did most of the writing. So, of course, at the end of the year when the class held its "Young Author's" party, to celebrate the children's accomplishments... it all looked good.

 

The main reason I brought my children home to educate them was not however, merely the belief that I could do better. I probably would've continued dropping them off at 8 and picking them up at 3 if I hadn't grown to dislike them more by the day. Horrible to admit I suppose, but true. I did not like my own children anymore. My dd8 was rude, mean, disrespectful, shallow, hateful and cruel. She was being "socialized" by the kids at school and it wasn't a pretty sight.

 

I do not keep my girls locked in the house. We are very active home schoolers. We participate in a wonderful Classical Conversations co-op, attend a church w/ vibrant programs for youth, and the girls play sports and various other seasonal activities. They're around other kids. A LOT. But, other kids no longer define what's "cool" or "appropriate" for them. They treat their father & I with respect and others with courtesy and kindness. My heart bursts with pride now when I watch them interact with others in a positive way. And I truly enjoy being around my children, which wasn't the case a couple of years ago.

 

I know it's easy to doubt yourself. I know how hard home schooling is -- it's by far the hardest job I've ever had! I know how *good* private schools can appear. But I also know there's no writing instructor on earth who can inspire your dd more than you can. If you believe a private school is best for your dd, then by all means send her there. But, we've been in that private school and I'm going to pass."

 

 

So, Helen, I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you stay encouraged. Don't worry. You are going to do great, and so are your boys.

 

Jennifer

Edited February 11, 2010 by Jenny Piaaree

[johnandtinagilbert]

 

1) Sometimes I feel like because my eldest is so comfortable being at home, he doesn't give me his best effort, and that being in an actual school motivates him to excel in a way that he doesn't have at home. Maybe it's being around other kids, I'm not sure. I know that when he was in PS, he was the angel child. At home during schooltime, he gets goofy way more than I'm sure he ever would at PS. And I feel like I'm always asking him to redo things that he could have done better. Am I just expecting too much from a 7 year old? Or does anyone else ever feel like having your kids schooled at home results in their having lower standards for themselves? (I often feel like such the taskmaster, asking for work to be redone or done better, etc.) Encouraging his work to be his best is wonderful -- you shouldn't stop! At the same time, it's not unusual for a 7 yo to do his best only some of the time. Heck, at 35, I'm still on some, not all, of the time! At Gilbert Academy our standards are MUCH higher than those of the school. None of their publically schooled peers can hold a candle to the knowledge (and wisdom) we have gleaned in our years of home schooling. And sadly, most of the parents we know really don't have the relationship we have with out dc either.

 

2) I want my kids to love to learn, I try to keep the workload reasonable, but most days my eldest just can't wait for school to be done! Does the whole "loving to learn" come much later, when the kids are older? Do all young kids just want to be done so they can relax and play? I know this might seem like a silly question, but it's just something I'm wondering. (i.e., do I have to be more proactive to make what we're studying more engaging?) He's seven years old. All he really wants to do in life is play, then eat, then play. "Love of learning" creates pictures of smiling children, totally joyful parent/teachers, and the absurd idea that a child will love all things about school all the time. Some things will simply be more enjoyable than others. You both have to learn this. Grammar is not thrilling for most (although I love it, tee hee), and while math may be Junior's favorite subject, Sister may cringe at the word. I believe the "love of learning" is simply a part of home schooling. Closeness of family and the ability to learn well outweigh most other things. They will find what they love and so will you.

 

3) I often feel like the greatest liability my kids have in our homeschooling experience is me! In my fallenness and imperfection, I know I often am more impatient than I should be, or I don't give as much grace as I should. I'm an introvert, and being with my three sons all day in addition to homeschooling wears me out! I feel like I'm constantly asking God for forgiveness for my inadequacies! I do often find myself saying, "Would my kids be better off with teachers who have more experience and patience than I do??" Welcome to the club. My knees are scarred; my patience is thin; and if I have to endure one more all out smelly, goofy boy session, my skin will turn green! If I don't get five minutes of quiet soon, I may explode! You see, your patience is not alone in short suit! We all have those moments. YOU are just going through the adjustments we all went through. You have to unschool yourself! I firmly believe in a three year curve. It took most home schoolers I know three years to find their groove, really know how to meet the specific needs of their children, and relax their fears and inhibitions. You've got more time to work this out, Momma. "Fear not, for I am with you." I thought a friend was far reaching when she told me she prayed about what materials to use. I thought, just get what looks good. Turns out, I pray for wise decision making in home schooling now, too. And the Lord has not failed us yet. Seems like when I ask, He provides the perfect answers every time!

 

Despite all this, my two older boys say they want to do school at home for the 2010-2011 year as well. I'm glad about that, but worried that in the meantime I'm somehow scarring them for life in other ways! I would love any reassurance or advice from those who have been down this road before!

 

Thanks for reading this post. Any and all feedback welcome.

Unless your available school can provide individual education and the love of a mother to YOUR boys, then NO...putting them in school is not the thing to do, especially when they are happy at home. As much as we can get caught up in the beds of roses painted by encouraging home schoolers, our job is endless and it can be overwhelming, but it can also be the most rewarding gift your entire family receives (outside of salvation, of course). A good mother and teacher will evaluate herself just as much, if not more, than she evaluates her students. You'll find, that with each new level or growth in your son, you'll be asking the same question...is this the best place for Junior? Until you are certain the the entire environment of public school is better, then press on and ask the Lord to guide your educational decisions. He will. He always has for us and we're heading into high school next year (and I'm a bit of a frantic mess about it!) YOU CAN DO THIS! Just make sure you accept that this isn't easy and the "love of learning" phrase that paints fields of wild flowers and children dancing to the joyous sounds of spelling lists and history timelines is a farce. Everyone enjoys dancing in fields in flowers, not just home schoolers! There is joy in home schooling, but come on, it's still hard work and who wants to work hard all of the time!? Give yourself and your son a chance to adjust to a new lifestyle, because home schooling is a life style, not just something ya'll do M-F.

 

I hope I was encouraging. I need to remember each of those things myself...particularly now, with high school on the horizon!

[johnandtinagilbert]

I just wanted to add a true story.

 

A friend sent her son to p.s. K. He could already read and write. Suddenly, his hand writing got very, very sloppy. When his mom talked to the teacher she said, "At least he can write. I have to focus on those who can't write all of their letters right now." THere was no encouragement for growth.

 

I doubt this story is unusual. An overburdened teacher cannot offer the quality of education you can. Period.

[DawnM]

My quotes are colored below

 

This is my first year homeschooling, I have three DSs: 7 years old, almost 5 and 2. I largely homeschool my eldest, who has had two years in the PS. My 5 year old has had some preschool time but now stays home as well for school.

 

My eldest says he much prefers being at home to do school; he says he enjoys what we are doing and learning. BUT, I find myself wrestling with a couple of doubts and would love to hear from experienced homeschoolers to reassure me or give feedback on how I can improve.

 

1) Sometimes I feel like because my eldest is so comfortable being at home, he doesn't give me his best effort, and that being in an actual school motivates him to excel in a way that he doesn't have at home. Maybe it's being around other kids, I'm not sure. I know that when he was in PS, he was the angel child. At home during schooltime, he gets goofy way more than I'm sure he ever would at PS. And I feel like I'm always asking him to redo things that he could have done better. Am I just expecting too much from a 7 year old? Or does anyone else ever feel like having your kids schooled at home results in their having lower standards for themselves? (I often feel like such the taskmaster, asking for work to be redone or done better, etc.)

 

You may be expecting too much. I know I do many times. I am a former High School teacher, so I have had a hard time adjusting my expectations to the level where my kids are. I have had a lot of adjusting to do with expectations. BUT, when I compare my kids' work to those of their peers in PS, I can see that we are doing just fine. I am learning to relax a bit more. I want all of us to enjoy it!

 

2) I want my kids to love to learn, I try to keep the workload reasonable, but most days my eldest just can't wait for school to be done! Does the whole "loving to learn" come much later, when the kids are older? Do all young kids just want to be done so they can relax and play? I know this might seem like a silly question, but it's just something I'm wondering. (i.e., do I have to be more proactive to make what we're studying more engaging?)

 

I can't wait for WORK to be finished either. Even when I worked full time, I much preferred the END of the workday to the beginning. I think it is human nature.

 

3) I often feel like the greatest liability my kids have in our homeschooling experience is me! In my fallenness and imperfection, I know I often am more impatient than I should be, or I don't give as much grace as I should. I'm an introvert, and being with my three sons all day in addition to homeschooling wears me out! I feel like I'm constantly asking God for forgiveness for my inadequacies! I do often find myself saying, "Would my kids be better off with teachers who have more experience and patience than I do??"

 

I have those days OFTEN where I raise my voice. Lately I have even cried real tears in front of them and said, "I don't WANT to be your teacher anymore, I just want to be your MOM!" I have homeschooled for 7 years now (5 at home full time and 2 while working part time) and I STILL feel this way almost daily~! I am also NOT a little kid person, which is why I worked with high schoolers. Little kids drive me crazy. I love my own, but they still drive me crazy!

 

Despite all this, my two older boys say they want to do school at home for the 2010-2011 year as well. I'm glad about that, but worried that in the meantime I'm somehow scarring them for life in other ways! I would love any reassurance or advice from those who have been down this road before!

 

I ask my boys ALL the time if they wouldn't prefer to go to school and be with other kids and they ALWAYS say NO, they would rather stay home and be homeschool! Sometimes I don't get it, I don't even like it sometimes! Some days I think it would be best for ALL of us to go back to school. My youngest is now K, so I have all school age children and we could all go to the public school and be on the same schedule. But they still beg me to stay home.

 

Some days I wonder if there will be enough money for all the therapy they will need! :lol:

 

But other days I remember that we are bonding in ways most kids don't have the opportunity to do with their parents and as I watch the neighborhood kids who can be downright nasty to one another while my kids help up the kid who has fallen or gotten picked on, I am reminded that I am doing exactly what needs to be done for my family at this time.

 

 

Thanks for reading this post. Any and all feedback welcome.

[Annabel Lee]

:grouphug: Thank you all for sharing your encouragement. I just wanted to say to hlee, don't feel bad. I drove into the parking lot of a very near-by Christian school today, thinking I'd check out the classrooms my sons would be in. Then, before I even parked, I turned around. You are not alone. It's a hard road. :grouphug:

[lulubelle]

Sounds like me and my 7 year old. I do feel I had to lower my expectations. He is only 7. I also found it was best when I sit with him and follow much of what he is doing and catch the mistake as they happen. And then I have him read the question out loud and he usually gets the correct answer right away. Sometimes he tries to go so quickly he tends to read the question incorrectly. I also think he would try and get away with doing less at school. It is his personality. I think school would be more difficult for him and much more stressful with my ds personality. He gets his work done at home, a bit begrudgingly, but I know he is learning.

[Dmmetler]

We're moving to HSing full-time from a well regarded private school this year, and this is my biggest concern-what if I'm making a major mistake.

 

But the fact is that my DD really hasn't learned anything new this year beyond how to do "School". She spends most of her time coloring, drawing pictures, and reading Magic Tree House books on her own, because she's already mastered the K curriculum. Her teacher is trying, and once a week or so manages to do something new with my DD, but it's simply not enough. And this is in a school which far exceeds what the public schools can offer, which tests children coming in, and which has already accelerated my DD one grade, placing her in SK at 4 instead of JK, and provided enrichment.

 

1st grade has only 1 adult in the room at a time instead of 2, plus a much more structured curriculum. From what I've heard from other parents and even teachers, including DD's current one, the teacher who has the "high group" also is a pretty no-nonsense person who isn't going to be thrilled with a child who needs to read or draw WHILE participating in class activities at grade level because otherwise, in her words "My brain falls asleep".

 

I also agree that DD has picked up behaviors and attitudes this year from other children which I do NOT like. Going on a field trip with her class explained a lot of what I've been correcting her for at home quite readily.

 

 

I just wish I didn't have to constantly reassure DH that we can do this and aren't going to totally destroy DD by home schooling. It just feeds my doubts, which I'm sure aren't helped by the fact that I have a stack of teaching certificates.

[mom4him]

I have 5 dc, three are grown and the two God blessed us with through adoption. My three grown children all attended ps until the youngest child of these three was a 7th grader. At that point we pulled him out because of matterial content that the school INSISTED on him being in. Soon after my middle child that was going to graduate from high school that spring asked to be pulled out. I know that they both had struggled with school but I at that time assumed that the ps was doing the very best for them. After all I was paying taxes and those teachers were getting paid.:willy_nilly:What an ignorant thing for me to assume. My dd, the one about to graduate couldn't construct a sentence say nothing about a paragraph!:confused::confused::confused:

Lets fast forward to our two youngest. I knew from the start that I would home school them. No doubt about that but many doubts at first if I could do it well. It has been quite a journey and they are now in 3 and 4th grades.

I think you have to decide why it is that you are hsing. For me I want my children to first and foremost know who God is and what He has for them. I also want them to be secure in who they are. The thing that I see the most in ps is that it really depends on whether the teacher takes a liking to you as to whether you do well, get the time you need with that teacher, etc. This is the reason my dd didn't do well. She has a very forward personality and many times puts people off. Teachers that my oldest ds did very well with she did very poorly with. There was a personallity conflict. In her ps time there was a couple of teachers that really worked with her. I was to ignorant to recognize the problem at that time.

Along with my children getting the exposure to the right things, I don't want them exposed to some things that most ps children are exposed to and that I feel are very inappropriate.

I have been able to adjust my dc's material to fit them and their needs at specific times. They are each others best friends. They love spending time with me and our family. They both love books.

My ds is like your ds in that he wants to be doing almost anything other than school. LOL The thing is our older ds was that way when he was in ps.

This has been long but wanted to share with you my experiences.

Settle in your mind the why. Then you need to settle in your mind if the why is worth doing it long term. We at this point plan on hsing through highschool and my dd says she wants to do college through the computer so who knows.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Rhonda in TX]

I think about the art classes she could take. I think about how she would love an orchestra class. We may end up sending her to PS for high school. Maybe. I'm very torn. She likes being homeschooled, but she also would like to try regular school, so the decision is really up to us.

 

For DS? No way. He's my Aspie and would be eaten alive.

[Joyfullyblessed]

Hello,

 

I am a brand new home schooler this year also. My son is five years old and we are doing Kindergarten. Already, I have wondered if I should keep doing this with him. I have wondered if I am doing enough, am I being patient enough, is he really enjoying being schooled at home OR should I send him to PS??? Then.... I look at my very soon to be seventeen year old daughter and the answer is very clear to me. Yes, we should be homeschooling, no doubt.

 

Why do I say this? Well, my daughter has been in a private Christian school since 6th grade. We moved her from PS at that time because the middle school in this area had a horrendous reputation.

 

While I do feel that academically she is doing very well, there are other things that I just can't get past and do NOT want to see happening with my son.

 

It seems so many people are greatly concerned with their child and socialization when they home school. I know I was and still think that way at times. However, while my daughter has all the socialization at school, it is NOT for the best.

 

Our daughter is very, very rude, disrespectful, mean, and unkind to her family. Her friends are EVERYTHING to her. I realize this is part of being a teen, but I truly believe hers is to an extreme. We have nothing in common, she doesn't want to talk with us or be with us ever, she constantly reminds us of how much better she will be when she is away from us, etc...

 

This all breaks my heart so much. My little girl wants nothing to do with us, no matter what we try to say or do. She is hanging out with a group of friends who are just not a good influence at all despite the fact that they are all attending a private Christian school. She also chooses to listen to music that is just horrible as far as the lyrics are concerned. I am not talking about a little bit bad, it is very bad.

 

We are looking into putting her into counseling, but don't even know if that will help. She has decided that she wants nothing to do with us and that her friends know it all. Soooo, the socialization she has gotten has proved to be just terrible for our family.

 

Again, academically, she does VERY well. However, she uses that against me all the time by telling me that I lack intelligence in almost all areas and that she is so much smarter because of her "higher education" she has received. She believes with all her heart that I am ruining her brother by homeschooling him because I am not nearly smart enough to do such a thing.

 

It really hurts to hear this day in and day out from my daughter whom I put in a private Christian school because I thought it would be SO much better for her than PS.

 

Sooooo.... all I have to do is look at what has become of my daughter to know that homeschooling my son is DEFINITELY the right choice for us despite the hard days and the doubts that creep into my mind about whether I am good enough to be doing this. My son has plenty of outlets for socialization, but it is not just with anybody. We do Upwards sports, choir, church activities, play dates, etc.... it works out wonderfully.

 

I have also decided that if I don't feel that I know something well, this is the best way for me to learn it. Not only is my son learning, but I am re-learning all this stuff over again and it does make me feel good.

 

I realize that we may still go through lots of lovely "teenage" attitude with my son, but I really hope that it will be different than what we are dealing with currently with our daughter. Hopefully, my daughter will come back around and realize what an awesome family she does have and that we love her dearly because I never would have dreamed that we would be going through all this.

 

Look to God for guidance and pray about your situation. He will get you through and help you make the best decisions for you & your family.

 

Oh, and I do realize that others with children in private school may have had a much different experience than ours, but I thought I would share what we are going through right now because we thought it was going to be awesome sending our daughter to such a great school.

 

Just remember, all the money in the world that people pay for their children to attend private schools can't compare to what you are providing for your child. What you are providing is priceless.

 

Sorry this was soooo long, but I wanted to share our story. We are homeschooling for the long haul with our son, no matter how difficult it may be at times.

 

Have an incredible day!!!

[8filltheheart]

Simple answer....no.

 

I do not compare my homeschool to ps. My primary and elementary grade level approach is much different than a ps. Someone on the outside looking in would probably consider my kids "behind" their ps counterparts. But by middle school/high school my kids are doing much higher level work than average ps kids. It is a different philosophy and methodology, but it works for my family and the outcome is superior to what I would anticipate from ps.

 

(FWIW, my degrees are in elementary ed and psy)

[lionfamily1999]

1. In my experience, most parents are shocked to find out their angel children are really angel children in comparison to some real difficult kids. I had no idea that ds could be difficult (for anyone besides me) until I came upon him in Sunday school. There he was, twitching in his seat, and pretty well behaving the same way he does at home! All this time, and even now, his Sunday school teacher says he's a very well-behaved kids. I think I just expect more of him than they do :p So, there's a good chance that your son is acting like he did at school and that his teachers were dealing with kids that were so troublesome that the same behavior that might bother you, did not even register for them.

 

2. Loving to learn comes with subjects close to their hearts. Ds would love to just goof off all day, unless you put the right subject infront of him. I think, once they get a really good foundation (middle school level), it's easier to enjoy things, because they already know or understand some of it. Also, there are always going to be bits and pieces that are done out of duty, not out of love.

 

3. We're all fallen, your children will always be working with the fallen natures of human kind, even their own. The question I must ask you is, do you believe that your fallen nature is less capable of loving and raising your children than that of a stranger?

[johnandtinagilbert]

:grouphug: Thank you all for sharing your encouragement. I just wanted to say to hlee, don't feel bad. I drove into the parking lot of a very near-by Christian school today, thinking I'd check out the classrooms my sons would be in. Then, before I even parked, I turned around. You are not alone. It's a hard road. :grouphug:

Amen. I actually enrolled one of my boys once. Couldn't walk through the doors b/c we were both crying. That was only 4 years ago...seems like a lifetime!

[mo2]

Simple answer....no.

 

I do not compare my homeschool to ps. My primary and elementary grade level approach is much different than a ps. Someone on the outside looking in would probably consider my kids "behind" their ps counterparts. But by middle school/high school my kids are doing much higher level work than average ps kids. It is a different philosophy and methodology, but it works for my family and the outcome is superior to what I would anticipate from ps.

 

(FWIW, my degrees are in elementary ed and psy)

Do you mind sharing what is your primary and elementary level approach? You seem so confident. My eldest is only 7 and we are struggling. I don't know many other homeschoolers in real llife, so I have nothing to compare to and no guidance.

[Susie in CA]

This is my first year homeschooling, I have three DSs: 7 years old, almost 5 and 2. I largely homeschool my eldest, who has had two years in the PS. My 5 year old has had some preschool time but now stays home as well for school.

 

My eldest says he much prefers being at home to do school; he says he enjoys what we are doing and learning. BUT, I find myself wrestling with a couple of doubts and would love to hear from experienced homeschoolers to reassure me or give feedback on how I can improve.

 

1) Sometimes I feel like because my eldest is so comfortable being at home, he doesn't give me his best effort, and that being in an actual school motivates him to excel in a way that he doesn't have at home. Maybe it's being around other kids, I'm not sure. I know that when he was in PS, he was the angel child. At home during schooltime, he gets goofy way more than I'm sure he ever would at PS. And I feel like I'm always asking him to redo things that he could have done better. Am I just expecting too much from a 7 year old? Or does anyone else ever feel like having your kids schooled at home results in their having lower standards for themselves? (I often feel like such the taskmaster, asking for work to be redone or done better, etc.)

 

I think the reason that he gets goofy more often with you is because, well, you are safe. That's not a bad thing. Yes, work on behavior but realize that you are his Mom and at the end of the day you still love him.

 

2) I want my kids to love to learn, I try to keep the workload reasonable, but most days my eldest just can't wait for school to be done! Does the whole "loving to learn" come much later, when the kids are older? Do all young kids just want to be done so they can relax and play? I know this might seem like a silly question, but it's just something I'm wondering. (i.e., do I have to be more proactive to make what we're studying more engaging?)

 

Don't worry! It is human nature to want to be done and move on to things which are more fun or easier. As for the love of learning it will come. I, finally, see it in my dss (10 and 9). The difference is that they do love learning, but they don't love school. I see this now in certain things they do or say. For example, my children look forward to go to college to learn all sorts of things. They don't, however, think they have to go to college. All their friends in ps think that you go to college because, just like school, they must!

 

3) I often feel like the greatest liability my kids have in our homeschooling experience is me! In my fallenness and imperfection, I know I often am more impatient than I should be, or I don't give as much grace as I should. I'm an introvert, and being with my three sons all day in addition to homeschooling wears me out! I feel like I'm constantly asking God for forgiveness for my inadequacies! I do often find myself saying, "Would my kids be better off with teachers who have more experience and patience than I do??"

 

 

Despite all this, my two older boys say they want to do school at home for the 2010-2011 year as well. I'm glad about that, but worried that in the meantime I'm somehow scarring them for life in other ways! I would love any reassurance or advice from those who have been down this road before!

 

Thanks for reading this post. Any and all feedback welcome.

 

 

If I didn't make it clear above I'll try to say it again. I have learned that the love of learning people are talking about doesn't always show during school time, in fact, it rarly does. As the time passes and they boys get older I see it more and more outside of school. It is, however, all the school work that is bleeding over into their free time activities and thinking.

 

ie.: My boys play Yu-Gi-Oh and they are excited to notice all the egyptian names.

My boys know the names of the greek gods and the roman name to go along with it. We covered greek gods, not the romans. Somehow, on their own time they learned the rest.

 

And my boys think of college as something you do to learn more. That to me is the best of all. I want them to WANT to go.

 

I hope something here helps,

 

Susie

[Verity]

3) I often feel like the greatest liability my kids have in our homeschooling experience is me! In my fallenness and imperfection, I know I often am more impatient than I should be, or I don't give as much grace as I should. I'm an introvert, and being with my three sons all day in addition to homeschooling wears me out! I feel like I'm constantly asking God for forgiveness for my inadequacies! I do often find myself saying, "Would my kids be better off with teachers who have more experience and patience than I do??"

 

I am homeschooling my three boys for the first time this year as well and I can so relate to the above statement. I'm an introvert as well and really need some alone time on a daily basis to recharge. I find myself staying up until 2am or later to just have some quiet time - this is not a good solution.

 

I just wanted to say :grouphug: and hang in there - I know how you are feeling. I think that every parent who makes unorthodox parenting choices questions if they are doing the right thing. In this case, for my family, if my kids were in ps right now I would also wonder every day if I was doing the right thing. I have to go back to why we chose to do this and there be assured that there is freedom to make a different choice in the future should circumstances change. Even if I fuss too much, am overtired and not a *perfect* mom and teacher, noone else can love them like their mom and can want their best longterm best education and learning in all areas of their lives. Noone else can understand their flaws and weaknesses and push them to overcome like their mom.

[FO4UR]

Well, let's get honest and say it out loud that none of us are perfectly patient, devoted and caring, confident and curious all in the same day.;) You aren't going to be perfect...and if you are like many of us, are daily aiming higher than you can reach. I struggle with that, but try to remind myself of that old cliche about "better to aim high and fall short than to aim low and succeed.":grouphug:

 

My dc are 7, 4, and 3...just about the ages of yours. This is an exhausting - EXHAUSTING - undertaking, HSing and parenting these children!!! (the parenting more than the HSing, tbh)

 

To answer your main question - NO! If my ds7 were in a ps, he would be trying to cope in a world of worksheets and reading off of a chalkboard with visual perception problems. He would be learning sight words (and very little phonics), and would be stuck in Everyday Math.:glare: This means that he would either afterschool, eliminating what little playtime he has ....or just not learn reading and math this year. This is a No-Brainer for my family!

 

About the sloppy work: One thing that helps is having dh ask the kids to see their work when he comes home. Dh can praise and critique in a way that I can't. The kids respond completely different for him. If something is continually sloppy, then I would question what time of day it is done (maybe better to do it 1st thing...or last thing before playing IF it's neat;)).

 

Goofing off and dawdling...sigh!...I think this might be more of a parenting problem than a schooling one. :lurk5:

[Lovedtodeath]

Helen, I feel the same way. I often think the competitive/comparitive nature of PS would make DD a better student.

[Lovedtodeath]

Simple answer....no.

 

I do not compare my homeschool to ps. My primary and elementary grade level approach is much different than a ps. Someone on the outside looking in would probably consider my kids "behind" their ps counterparts. But by middle school/high school my kids are doing much higher level work than average ps kids. It is a different philosophy and methodology, but it works for my family and the outcome is superior to what I would anticipate from ps.

 

(FWIW, my degrees are in elementary ed and psy)

I am so glad to read this. I started out thinking that it is okay if she gets behind academically because she is bright, maybe even gifted. It is better for her to have free time to be creative and enjoy her family... but her BF (my BF DD is the same age (one week apart) is in PS and she is getting ahead, and it is killing me, even though I know that she can easily catch up and surpass her later. Plus, I have DH to worry about.;) It is a constant struggle to find balance. Edited February 11, 2010 by Lovedtodeath

[cdrumm4448]

We pulled ds out of a good private school just before this school year. Overall, it's the best thing we've ever done for him. Since this is our first year homeschooling, there have been many adjustments to our lives and teaching/learning. My ds always has something in his hands while he is listening to me. He is always paying attention, which is not something I could say about him when he was in private school. Boys are just wiggly and sometimes can't wait for school to be done, whether it's ps, private school or hs.

 

There are stressful days, but this morning when I we woke up I asked dc what they would like for breakfast. I had bought Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins for them yesterday as a special treat. My ds loves the filled ones. I asked him why he wasn't eating the Munchkins and he said,"Because the juicy jellies are gone!" You had to be there; it was so cute. But my point is that you are spending time with your children that you wouldn't have if they were in school. Some of it will be stressful, but some will be priceless. It's worth it just for that.

[Capt_Uhura]

What a timely thread. I'm so sick of hearing my boys say "But we just want to pllllaaaaayyyyyyyy." It's hard to know if you're doing too much or they are just being 9 and 6 yr old boys. They can have a solid 4.5hrs of play time (2.5hrs at best friends house) followed by another 2hrs at home, and it's still not enough. I'm calling it a day.

 

Capt_Uhura

[lionfamily1999]

I am so glad to read this. I started out thinking that it is okay if she gets behind academically because she is bright, maybe even gifted. It is better for her to have free time to be creative and enjoy her family... but her BF (my BF DD is the same age (one week apart) and she is getting ahead, and it is killing me, even though I know that she can easily catch up and surpass her later. Plus, I have DH to worry about.;) It is a constant struggle to find balance.

My biggest issue with the ps system, both when I was in it and now that I have had children in it (and still have one) is that, for the most part, it is one size fits all. Ds shoots ahead for a while and then he plateaus. One day, he might be ahead of his friends in a few subjects and the next (or so it seems to me) he's behind.

 

I keep reminding myself, my dcs are individuals they will grow according to their individual clocks. Younger ds was reading Bob books last month, this month I'm happy if he just sits still long enough to listen to me read a sentence :lol:

 

:grouphug:

[SophiaH]

 

As a fellow introvert, I highly recommend instituting nap time/quiet time after lunch. It was my only route to sanity when mine were small.

 

 

 

:iagree: The two hours from 2-4 are my (and my kids') daily lifesaver!

[lionfamily1999]

What a timely thread. I'm so sick of hearing my boys say "But we just want to pllllaaaaayyyyyyyy." It's hard to know if you're doing too much or they are just being 9 and 6 yr old boys. They can have a solid 4.5hrs of play time (2.5hrs at best friends house) followed by another 2hrs at home, and it's still not enough. I'm calling it a day.

 

Capt_Uhura

You have my sympathy. This is our week off, but still, they'd rather play than eat?!?

[Splungeman]

When i get to feeling like that, I simply go to Google News and do a search for "schools". Then, after scrolling through the headlines, I feel better! Today there are lots of headlines about the snow closing them down. But on a normal day, there are headlines about schools failing, art programs being shut down, first graders with guns in their lockers, shootings, gang violence, test scores dropping, and to top it all off the "good" news about what the government is doing to correct the problem (that's usually what I consider the comedy part).

 

After that daily dose of reality, the struggles of homeschooling don't seem too bad after all! :party:

[8filltheheart]

Do you mind sharing what is your primary and elementary level approach? You seem so confident. My eldest is only 7 and we are struggling. I don't know many other homeschoolers in real llife, so I have nothing to compare to and no guidance.

 

I focus only on the basics in k-2: phonics, reading, math, and nature stories. We use copywork to focus on proper letter formation, basic mechanics, grammar, etc.

 

Once they are proficient readers, we start history. I start teaching writing from copywork. They study paragraphs and learn proper paragraph construction.

 

Ultimately, I just increase my expectations incrementally day to day based on their skill level. As my expectations increase, their work load increases (workload is approx 1:1 ratio between grade level and hrs of work until middle school and then 6-8 is average)

 

I believe that cognitive development is promoted more through play than academics when they are younger, so I want my primary age kids playing the majority of the day. Yet, even in elementary school play is a vital part of development.

 

FWIW.....my kids have all developed their own passions that they spend hrs on when they are younger and those passions carry over into their lives as they get older. My oldest loved to build/design all sorts of crazy things like potato launchers, tree houses, etc. Another ds loves math. He loves it so much that he does it for fun and does Art of Problem Solving out of curiosity. One of my dds is a passionate bird watcher. (As a matter of fact she just started yelling in excitement b/c a northern flicker just landed in our front yard; she has only ever seen them in the woods or up in trees. I can't identify 1/50 of the birds she can......I only know the basics like robin and blue jay!!)

 

Full day academics as a younger child would have hampered those passions. Their limited time might not have ever have led them in those directions.

[masterpiece]

I don't homeschool (yet??), so I can't offer much help. However, I would ask, just from a parent's point of view, how many teachers do you think actually ask their kids to forgive them for losing their patience? In all the years I went to school, I don't recall anyone ever doing that to me, even when the whole class was punished on the account of one or two kids. When that happens to my kids, I tell them that the teachers are tired and that they have hard days and make mistakes just like everyone else.

 

But at home, when I ask them to forgive me after losing it or misjudging a situation or whatever it is that I've done wrong (which, of course, all parents do, not just homeschooling ones), I know I'm teaching them a very powerful lesson that they just won't get from almost anywhere else. They, too, will make mistakes in life and they'll need to learn to deal with them, and that will be much easier for them if as a role model they've had someone who's willing to recognize shortcomings, apologize, rectify where possible, and then carry on.

 

Hang it there! I hope it gets easier real soon.

L

[HerdingCats]

I hear your concerns and have many of the same over the years. I will tell you there ARE things about ps which can not compare with the homeschool environment. In some ways it is like comparing apples to oranges. You are choosing one thing and its benefits over another and its benefits. Even though it is tempting to approach homeschooling with an attitude that it is superior over other schooling options in every way, I don't think that is the best way to look at it. You are choosing a path that is different and will pay off with different benefits.

 

You are probably right on the money when you notice that there is a stronger motivation in the classroom environment than at home. But, I will contend that the motivating factor is not the same. A classroom environment is one in which competition is a high motivator. Not that kids in ps don't necessarily have a love for learning, but there is a strong desire to perform well for the teacher to be rewarded with praise, good grades, esteem from peers, etc. This can override some of the drudgery type work that they encounter (IF they can perform well at it.. and this is a big IF. Also if your kid is over the top academically, the challenge can be keeping the child from becoming a bored under-achiever.) You are uniquely able to know your child's abilities and set "just-right" expectations.

 

Your kids at home are naturally going to dawdle and balk at things they don't feel like doing. That doesn't mean there is no love of learning. The schools don't necessarily inspire that either. In the home environment, I believe there is a greater chance for that true love of learning (outside the realm of competition) to be nurtured because of the greater freedom and the time. But it has to be worked at, and in some cases you have to be willing to do things differently to achieve it. In our home there are always things that the kids don't really like to do. There is still dawdling and lackluster effort at times. I try to keep it balanced and make fun the things that can be made fun. You can use lots of magazines, videos, and games. If you can let go of your need for efficiency (trust me, I know this is hard!), you can accomplish the same thing in different ways. I can totally relate to your feeling like a taskmaster and I still feel like that sometimes. I am always readjusting and trying to keep that balance.

 

You can still tap into that classroom environment by finding a co-op or outside class for some of the subjects. My oldest is in one this year and they have had to write two papers each week this past semester. She had work to do over Christmas break. She has a book to read and finish each week this semester. If you would have told me last year that this child would be excelling and looking forward to continuing in this program, I would have said, "when pigs fly!" She loves it! I think this has been just the right environment for this age. Until now I'm not sure it would have worked.

 

All this to say, hang in there. If you see benefits to ps, understand there are drawbacks as well. You will have to decide which you are prepared to undertake.

[nono]

Helen, I feel the same way. I often think the competitive/comparitive nature of PS would make DD a better student.

 

Yes, but given that there are two youngers, that will likely come. At least I'm already experiencing that. My 6 yr old will dawdle with, say, Explode the Code online. And my younger, who's not schooling yet, will get tired of her not answering and shout out the answer. So, the competition may come...in a good, sibling way!

[tinkgumby]

I actually sent my oldest son to ps out of the same fears - I felt behind, I felt like homeschooling just wasn't working out the way I'd idealistically imagined it. Also, both my son and I are more naturally "play before work" personalities, so it was a constant battle to get things done.

 

Two years later, when my oldest was finishing up 1st and my youngest K, I had a whole different viewpoint. I was up at the school 3 times a week volunteering, and I saw the teachers lose their patience with the kids (frequently!); saw how many times they would plug in videos instead of doing art or library or PE; saw how one or two kids would demand more attention and the rest were mostly left on their own; and saw how everyone was pretty much held to the same pace. The clincher was when my oldest came home crying one day, and I finally got out of him that he had seen a poster that said "Today is a great day to learn something new," and was devastated that he never felt like he learned anything new. :glare:

 

Needless to say, I am not perfect in this homeschooling journey, and neither are my kids. At least now I don't fool myself into thinking that if they were at ps, their teachers would NEVER lose patience with them or take the easy way out! :D

[Mandy in TN]

I was just going to post a quick nope certainly not in K-6th, but then I read your post. Aww! Relax, enjoy- don't be so hard on yourself.

 

1) Sometimes I feel like because my eldest is so comfortable being at home, he doesn't give me his best effort, and that being in an actual school motivates him to excel in a way that he doesn't have at home.

Some kids do thrive with competition and some kids do put on a better performance outside the home. Let him compete with a timer for speed and look into local homeschool contests (spelling bee, geography bee, science fair, etc) to allow some competition. Start a blog or just a Friday e-mail to Grandma where he can show-off his best work. While he is working, encourage him to make it pretty for grandma. Try to provide opportunities for him to compete and perform for others.

 

2) I want my kids to love to learn, I try to keep the workload reasonable, but most days my eldest just can't wait for school to be done!

LOL! I think that is normal. While I do try to provide and encourage interest through my interest and, well yeah, some goofy stuff, I focus my effort on providing what I feel is right for that child at that time. After all some kids will always feel that way(my middle ds has always been that way).

 

3) I do often find myself saying, "Would my kids be better off with teachers who have more experience and patience than I do??"

Egads, don't say that. Trust me there are plenty of inexperienced and/or impatient teachers. Also, while patience is great, sometimes children need a swift kick in the pants from someone who loves them in order to get moving.

 

Despite all this, my two older boys say they want to do school at home for the 2010-2011 year as well.

Good job, Mom!

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Penelope]

Nope, I never wonder that. My oldest is 7, too. I know what our pschools are like and I know he's learning more at home, being challenged more, getting better reading material and individual attention. I think he'd be bored and disruptive.

 

I do occasionally wonder whether he'd be better off in an academically solid private school, but not very often, at this age. I think individual attention trumps positive academic peer pressure at this age. I'll probably wonder more after the next couple years when we start to get into more difficult material and writing. I really think, though, that just about any concerned parent could do a great job, superior to ps, for grades K-3. There just isn't a lot going on in ps K-3 beyond learning to read (waiting for everyone to attain the basics) and basic math, and ds already knows how to do those things. So what would he be doing all day there? Oh, and nearly all of the writing is journal writing and creative writing prompts, which he doesn't like and which don't teach necessary skills, anyway.

[hlee]

Wow, everyone! This thread has been just what I have needed. I think I am going to print it out and have it handy for those times I go through periods of questioning! I really appreciate all the great feedback and will take it to heart. How people homeschooled before the Internet, I have no idea. I am very grateful for this online community and appreciate everyone who took the time to reply! Thanks everyone, so much!!

[Lady Q]

Yes, far too often. :( And my oldest is only five!

 

Part of it is that I have no personal experience with the school system in the US. What I know about it is from news reports and books and from my husband (who went to an average school system and fully supportive of my homeschooling). On my good days, I am so glad that we homeschool my K'er. I'm thankful that he doesn't need to be up early to go to school. I'm glad that school for him barely takes 1-2 hours a day and he can play with his siblings so much. I'm thankful that he doesn't have to go to school and come home and crash (like he did when he went to a 3-hour camp for a week last summer!). I'm glad he's not picking up things from other kids (not that my kids are saints--they're not--but why is it that out of all the mostly-positive traits of their friends, my children always pick the one or two negative ones??). I'm glad we can work at our own pace.

 

On my bad days, though, yikes! On my bad days I think I. would be better off with a more patient and kind teacher. I think that he could be making new friends and doing more art and making music and playing in a playground and all that other fuzzy purply-hazed idealistic stuff (the things you read about in feel-good books called The First Day of School). I look to the future and feel doubt about my ability to give him a thorough grounding in all subjects. I fear that I will transmit my own insecurities and inadequacies to him (to them all). I feel bad for my younger two who are not getting as much attention as the oldest did at their ages.

 

Just today I've been getting anxious and wound up over spelling. Spelling! My kid is not even in first grade yet! *goes off to take a :chillpill:*

 

~Rabia

[KrissiK]

I don't know. Probably not. I'm not the type of person who says that homeschooling is the answer to every problem and I know that PS can provide things that homeschooling can't. I do know that my oldest has social skill troubles and is a follower and I shudder to think of what he'd get involved with if he were in PS. He's only 6 but he craves attention and will do anything to get it (even stupid things. I see him being the "patsie" at some time in his life).

[Mom-ninja.]

Your children sound normal. Kids love to play! Play is important. My boys would much rather play all day instead of doing lessons. I would too. ;)

 

I try to make sure we do at least one science experiment a week. Science at this age is fun stuff. Same with art....fun fun.

 

I've realized that having fun with lessons is ok. Not all lessons are fun, but you can do things to jazz it up. Use funny voices when reading passages. When we practice memorizing our preposition list, we jump up and down with each word.

 

There are days of course, when I just have to get the boys to settle down and do their work. It's a balance.

 

There are days when my throat hurts in the evening because I've yelled and lost my temper. I'm human. I ask for patience and pray I haven't traumatized my kids. I'm not perfect.

[In the Rain]

You are choosing one thing and its benefits over another and its benefits. Even though it is tempting to approach homeschooling with an attitude that it is superior over other schooling options in every way, I don't think that is the best way to look at it. You are choosing a path that is different and will pay off with different benefits.

 

 

Carrie, this is great. It is something I needed to read. :001_smile:

[laughing lioness]

Do I ever wonder if my kids would be better off in PS? No. This is our 19th year of homeschooling. I don't wonder about it at.all.anymore. No. Absolutly not. I've graduated 2 kids from homeschool and I've watched boatloads of relatives go through the gov. school system during the time I've homeschooled. Government school is a sick system. There are, of course, good teachers, and even more rarely, good schools, but in general, no, the PS doesn't really offer a value system that we could, with integrity, choke down.

1) He is probably getting more goofy at home because he is more relaxed. My kids have to re-do stuff at home- no biggie. They do it tell it's done right or they have mastery. That's the goal here. When I was in school I rarely did anything over- I just recieved a grade and that was that. I don't feel like having my kids at home results in a lower standard- quite the opposite. Check out 2millionminutes website www.2mminutes.com/ - Read Dumbing Us Down by Gatto or The Dumbest Generation by Baerulein, etc. My kids call me "PaxRoMomma" :001_smile: I'm O.k. with being the taskmistress. I'm also the singer of songs at night, the bed time story teller, the head chef, etc. My kids are with me so much they know the varied and many sides of me ;)

 

2) My younger kids would rather play play play all day, and sometimes so would I. The deal is they have to do school too. Bad attitudes earn sitting time on their hands in the hall or cleaning the bathrooms or extra school work. Sounds like your kids are learning that home is not just for play and relaxation but for work and study, too. It's a transition year. They'll get it.

 

3) Do you seriously think that a person who has less personal investment in your kids and 10 times more of them has more "patience" ? I have vivid memories of teachers losing their cool from K through 12th grade. Puhleeze. Homeschooling has trained me over the years, just as it has my kids. I am still learning and growing and so are they. I 'm not perfect. I will not be always full of patience and grace. I am constantly asking God for forgiveness, too. I think He likes that :001_smile:.

[Annabel Lee]

I focus only on the basics in k-2: phonics, reading, math, and nature stories. We use copywork to focus on proper letter formation, basic mechanics, grammar, etc.

 

Once they are proficient readers, we start history. I start teaching writing from copywork. They study paragraphs and learn proper paragraph construction.

 

Ultimately, I just increase my expectations incrementally day to day based on their skill level. As my expectations increase, their work load increases (workload is approx 1:1 ratio between grade level and hrs of work until middle school and then 6-8 is average)

 

I believe that cognitive development is promoted more through play than academics when they are younger, so I want my primary age kids playing the majority of the day. Yet, even in elementary school play is a vital part of development.

 

FWIW.....my kids have all developed their own passions that they spend hrs on when they are younger and those passions carry over into their lives as they get older. My oldest loved to build/design all sorts of crazy things like potato launchers, tree houses, etc. Another ds loves math. He loves it so much that he does it for fun and does Art of Problem Solving out of curiosity. One of my dds is a passionate bird watcher. (As a matter of fact she just started yelling in excitement b/c a northern flicker just landed in our front yard; she has only ever seen them in the woods or up in trees. I can't identify 1/50 of the birds she can......I only know the basics like robin and blue jay!!)

 

Full day academics as a younger child would have hampered those passions. Their limited time might not have ever have led them in those directions.

 

Don't mean to hijack, but would you teach me how to teach my kids? :tongue_smilie: I keep feeling that we're doing waaaay too much curriculum and not enough real life experience. What do you do, specifically, for teaching reading & spelling? I suppose we could start another thread or PM for this - sorry again for the hijacking. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming... :D

[Haiku]

I have a child in PS. She's in ninth grade and has been in school since sixth grade.

 

This has convinced my that my younger kids will never set foot in a school. I never wonder for one second whether they would be better off in school. I know that the answer is a resounding NO.

 

Tara

[Guest lahmeh]

When i get to feeling like that, I simply go to Google News and do a search for "schools". Then, after scrolling through the headlines, I feel better! Today there are lots of headlines about the snow closing them down. But on a normal day, there are headlines about schools failing, art programs being shut down, first graders with guns in their lockers, shootings, gang violence, test scores dropping, and to top it all off the "good" news about what the government is doing to correct the problem (that's usually what I consider the comedy part).

 

After that daily dose of reality, the struggles of homeschooling don't seem too bad after all!

:iagree:Also, when I hear the school bus at 6:45 p/u the little 5 & 6 yo across the street in 24 degree weather in the pitch black (and mine are still snuggly in bed) I'm happier!

[Mabelen]

I hear your concerns and have many of the same over the years. I will tell you there ARE things about ps which can not compare with the homeschool environment. In some ways it is like comparing apples to oranges. You are choosing one thing and its benefits over another and its benefits. Even though it is tempting to approach homeschooling with an attitude that it is superior over other schooling options in every way, I don't think that is the best way to look at it. You are choosing a path that is different and will pay off with different benefits.

 

You are probably right on the money when you notice that there is a stronger motivation in the classroom environment than at home. But, I will contend that the motivating factor is not the same. A classroom environment is one in which competition is a high motivator. Not that kids in ps don't necessarily have a love for learning, but there is a strong desire to perform well for the teacher to be rewarded with praise, good grades, esteem from peers, etc. This can override some of the drudgery type work that they encounter (IF they can perform well at it.. and this is a big IF. Also if your kid is over the top academically, the challenge can be keeping the child from becoming a bored under-achiever.) You are uniquely able to know your child's abilities and set "just-right" expectations.

 

Your kids at home are naturally going to dawdle and balk at things they don't feel like doing. That doesn't mean there is no love of learning. The schools don't necessarily inspire that either. In the home environment, I believe there is a greater chance for that true love of learning (outside the realm of competition) to be nurtured because of the greater freedom and the time. But it has to be worked at, and in some cases you have to be willing to do things differently to achieve it. In our home there are always things that the kids don't really like to do. There is still dawdling and lackluster effort at times. I try to keep it balanced and make fun the things that can be made fun. You can use lots of magazines, videos, and games. If you can let go of your need for efficiency (trust me, I know this is hard!), you can accomplish the same thing in different ways. I can totally relate to your feeling like a taskmaster and I still feel like that sometimes. I am always readjusting and trying to keep that balance.

 

You can still tap into that classroom environment by finding a co-op or outside class for some of the subjects. My oldest is in one this year and they have had to write two papers each week this past semester. She had work to do over Christmas break. She has a book to read and finish each week this semester. If you would have told me last year that this child would be excelling and looking forward to continuing in this program, I would have said, "when pigs fly!" She loves it! I think this has been just the right environment for this age. Until now I'm not sure it would have worked.

 

All this to say, hang in there. If you see benefits to ps, understand there are drawbacks as well. You will have to decide which you are prepared to undertake.

 

I completely agree with all of the above. I currently have two kids in PS. I have never homeschooled, but I find the idea very appealing and would be happy to step up to the plate if necessary (dh would only contemplate homeschooling if things were not working at school). Both settings have a set of pluses and minuses for each individual child and educator, it really is a matter of where the scales lean for each child/educator combo.

 

To the OP: I think you are a great educator and you and your children will do great together!

[Mabelen]

This might be a bit off topic, because it is not a direct reply to the OP, but I have to say that not all public schools are created equal. We all know that, right? That is why areas in good school districts and with great schools cost always a premium. I am sorry that some of the posters here have bad experiences with PS, but that does not mean some people can't actually have very good experiences there, like myself. I have an 8th grader, who has been in private school from Pre-k to 7th grade and is now in public for 8th. She will stay in public school for High school too. She is a great kid and can't say we have ever had behavior problems because of school. Sure school influences behavior, but if you parent well, any issues will be resolved succesfully. You can't just let go because your kids are at school. My youngest is now in PS kindergarten and she is absolutely thriving too. Just wanted to note that PS can be a good experience, although I know it is not right for all, just like homeschooling can be great but not for all either.

[laughing lioness]

Don't mean to hijack, but would you teach me how to teach my kids?

Develop your philosophy of education. I'd start with TWTM and Latin Centered Curriculum. Once you camp on a philsophy (the big picture/vision) lots of details fall into place.

For reading and spelling: phonics based. We've always used AlphaPhonics with ETC and hours of read-alouds. For spelling we've used Sequential Spelling and IEW with success. FLL has great info too and we LOVE WWE cause copywork helps a lot with spelling. I wouldn't start formal spelling work until 3rd grade- the student needs to have mastery over the mechanics of writing first.

 

Sure, there are good schools out there. My problem with government school is the system. Do a little research on the the purpose of government educational system and dig a little into what the NEA has in mind for our younguns. Certainly, one can get through the system having learned a lot, making use of opportunities that are available you don't have on your own. From my observations, that is more the exception rather than the rule.