s/o on Jean's thread about public school problems: I have an appt. with the principal

[Jackie in NE]

If you've read Jean's thread about some of the problems going on in public schools, then you've heard it all: the drunk, philandering, cursing, lazy public school teachers, and the out-to-lunch leadership at these schools.

 

My dd goes to public high school part-time. I've never seen problems like those mentioned above, but dd did come home in tears last week over the things happening in one of her classes. This is not the first time my dd has been upset by the behavior of this particular teacher.

 

I knew I needed to complain about the situation, but after reading Jean's thread, I decided to get to it. I have an appointment with the school principal tomorrow. I'd really like the hive's advice as to which points really need to be addressed.

 

Here's what happened on Friday:

In dd's French Class there are several girls, and 4 boys. When it was almost time for class to begin, none of the boys had shown up, and the teacher began to tell the class how much she hoped that none of them would come, so that they could have a "girls only" class. She began to bad-mouth each of the boys, and repeated that she hoped they wouldn't show. Finally one boy did arrive (the others were away with sports teams), and the teacher immediately began looking for a way to get rid of him. She kept asking him if he had somewhere else to be, or if he had another class that he could go to. She asked him if he had any bad grades in any other classes, so that he could go and work in that class. She proceeded to look up his grades on the computer in front of the class, and announced that he had an 'F' in cooking, and maybe he should go to that class. He replied that he had just come from cooking class. I really don't get how the teacher could send him to another class when he was scheduled for French at that time. Dd said the boy was obviously embarrassed and he went and sat at his desk in the corner and did not participate in class.

The teacher then called Dominoes Pizza and ordered a pizza. While they waited for the pizza, the class played "verb ball" where they toss a ball back and forth and recite verbs.

When the office called that the pizza had come, 4 girls left the class to go and get the pizza. Then they ate pizza, and tossed a ball (no french involved) until class was over.

The boy in the class never participated, never ate pizza, just sat at his desk until the class was over.

My dd's tears were for the humiliation that this poor boy obviously felt. She was appalled, and so am I, at the lack of professionalism shown by this teacher.

So the lack of professionalism is one point I think needs to be made, and the other is the lack of any actual teaching going on in the class. Dd says the only new thing they've learned this year is the passe compose. I think that this falls far short of the normal scope and sequence of a French II high school class.

Dd is pursuing a high school diploma through veritas press scholars academy, and is used to far more rigorous work. Any classes taken apart from VP must be approved for credit. I plan on pointing out to the principal that this French class will likely NOT be approved by VP for credit towards their high school diploma, and furthermore, that they (the public school) are NOT the only game in town; that they have plenty of competition from homeschoolers, the community college, and online courses. I am so angry right now at the amount of time dd has wasted in this class. Should I pull her out of the class? I know that this will impact the $ that the school gets. It may also brand dd as a trouble-maker, and I do plan on her taking Algebra II and Chemistry at the High School next year.

So, what say you, hive? How can I get my point across without impacting my dd negatively? Oh, and of course, the teacher mentioned is extremely petty, and might be able to get back at my dd with unfair grading. (She currently has a 95% in the class).

What would you do?

Dd says she would rather have me complain, than have the teacher like her. I admire that. But dd is only 15 and has never really been the focus of the type of dirty dealing this teacher could muster.......

 

Advice, please! :bigear:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, since I inspired some of your action, I'll respond.

 

What I got from your post:

 

1. The teacher is hired to teach all of the students, not just the girls and not just the ones who make life easier for her. She showed blatant discrimination against those boys. If the boys had given her problems in the past, she had other ways of handling it.

 

2. She violated his privacy by announcing his grades to the class. This is a big no-no in public school, from what I understand.

 

3. Unless this was a class party day (usually after a big exam or some other milestone of achievement), the pizza party should not have happened.

 

4. What is the scope and sequence for this class? Is the teacher following it?

[RanchGirl]

I think you are right to discuss it with the principal. I would just (in a very non-emotional way) explain that your main concern is your dd hasn't made any progress in her French. And as an example of what your dd has shared with you of class activities, here is what happened on X day - and then a brief summary. Then state exactly what your dd told you. Don't try to say how the boy felt or that the school needs to step up if they want to compete, or that the teacher's an idiot -- these are all conclusions the principal can come to on his own. Just state your main concern and what happened and that you do not want to get the teacher in trouble, you just want to make sure your dd is going to learn French because she has to meet certain requirements for VP.

 

If you know the boy's parents, I would contact them. You can mention to the principal what happened but they need to be the ones fighting for their son who is getting picked on, not getting an opportunity to learn, and had his privacy violated when she announced his grade to the class. And who knows, the boy may not even have told him or if he did, they might not have believed it. It is pretty stinkin' unbelievable!!

[Rosie_0801]

If she grades your daughter unfairly, you'll know, and can ask for it to be reassessed. I admit it wouldn't have occurred to me or my mother to have her complain. I'd have done it myself right in the middle of class! Being the good, quiet, shy kid, I didn't get into trouble for it either :001_rolleyes:

 

That teacher deserves to have her butt kicked.

 

Rosie

[Hockey Mom]

If you know the boy's parents, I would contact them. You can mention to the principal what happened but they need to be the ones fighting for their son who is getting picked on, not getting an opportunity to learn, and had his privacy violated when she announced his grade to the class. And who knows, the boy may not even have told him or if he did, they might not have believed it. It is pretty stinkin' unbelievable!!

 

:iagree:

[Hen]

I would pull her out, it's a waste of time, and this petty teacher will retaliate. I would go see the principal though and discuss this. The first thing, before getting into the problems, I would ask the principal to look up you dd's grade- for future reference when the teacher changes it in retaliation.

[Saille]

That teacher deserves to have her butt kicked.

 

:iagree:

[AuntieM]

Hmmm... First I think, if dd were up for it, I would encourage her to write or talk to the boy, just to encourage him a bit and validate to him that the teacher's actions were inappropriate. How awful for him! I agree with another poster that this battle is for his parents to fight, but let them know your dd would act as a witness on his behalf should the need arise.

 

As far as dealing with the issue, I might just make a request for a written document detailing the scope & sequence for the course. With that in hand, I would then approach the principal about your concerns that your dd is not receiving full instruction and that you are afraid her credit won't hold up under scrutiny from (a) your home school umbrella and (b) the public school district (to whom I imagine the principal is accountable).

 

Hopefully, the teacher will be forced to come around and do some teaching. I would wait until the end of the year to report character-related issues, so your dd won't suffer this immature teacher's wrath, but in the meantime document everything so you can give a FULL report at school year's end.

 

That's my pair o'pennies....

[Halcyon]

I would pull her out, it's a waste of time, and this petty teacher will retaliate. I would go see the principal though and discuss this. The first thing, before getting into the problems, I would ask the principal to look up you dd's grade- for future reference when the teacher changes it in retaliation.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[justamouse]

Just jumping on to encourage you and to say what a wonderful thing that it even bothered your daughter. Many kids wouldn't care.

 

As for that teacher? I have nothing to say that isn't an expletive. I would call his parents, though. That's emotional abuse. Period.

[JoyfulMama]

Hmmm... First I think, if dd were up for it, I would encourage her to write or talk to the boy, just to encourage him a bit and validate to him that the teacher's actions were inappropriate. How awful for him! I agree with another poster that this battle is for his parents to fight, but let them know your dd would act as a witness on his behalf should the need arise.

 

As far as dealing with the issue, I might just make a request for a written document detailing the scope & sequence for the course. With that in hand, I would then approach the principal about your concerns that your dd is not receiving full instruction and that you are afraid her credit won't hold up under scrutiny from (a) your home school umbrella and (b) the public school district (to whom I imagine the principal is accountable).

 

Hopefully, the teacher will be forced to come around and do some teaching. I would wait until the end of the year to report character-related issues, so your dd won't suffer this immature teacher's wrath, but in the meantime document everything so you can give a FULL report at school year's end.

 

That's my pair o'pennies....

 

:iagree:When you meet with the principal, you want to do so with an air of cooperation and concern for meeting the course requirements. Do you have any concerns that could be measurable - for instance, if they continue at the current pace, where will they end at the completion of the course (Chapter #)? Does that line up with the expectations laid out in the beginning of the course? What must be covered in order to meet the requirements of the umbrella program? Will those requirements be met? Is there a way to work with the teacher to make her aware of the possible additional requirements, or is this not a good match for your program?

[tex-mex]

I would pull her out, it's a waste of time, and this petty teacher will retaliate. I would go see the principal though and discuss this. The first thing, before getting into the problems, I would ask the principal to look up you dd's grade- for future reference when the teacher changes it in retaliation.

 

This type of teacher will retaliate. Get the grade report printed out officially -- then write a letter -- legally, talk does NOTHING. The school has to act on any letter submitted within 60-90 days. Make sure a copy goes to the superintendent as most likely this will end up in her end of the year teacher evaluation and in her permanent file. Be sure you have evidence. I agree the parents of the boy should be the ones demanding a meeting. Your dd will have to face the wrath of teacher as a result. Sorry. :grouphug:

[Beth in OH]

I would encourage you to be very professional when delineating your concerns. I would not discuss anything that does not involve your own child directly. Anything else could sound like tattling.

 

This next part I say very gently, but I am going to mention it because I am in a supervisory position over professionals (I consider teachers to be professionals, even when their behavior suggests otherwise:tongue_smilie:). When someone comes to me with a complaint about a person I supervise, it is my job to weigh and investigate the merits of the complaint. The first question I will ask is what steps the complainant has taken to resolve the issue with my subordinate. In your situation, I would probably want to see that you had taken your curricular concerns to the teacher, and that after a reasonable amount of time, she had failed to address them to your satisfaction. This action would demonstrate to me that you were interested in improving the situation and didn't have a personal axe to grind. It would also give you enormous credibility, because you could demonstrate objectively why you needed to involve me as supervisor.

 

FWIW, I believe that your dd's class is exactly as she described it. I think you could have an enormous impact by talking to the teacher directly about her scope and sequence and your concerns that they might not be making adequate yearly progress due to pizza parties, etc. Go in armed with a syllabus from a French II class that you respect (many high schools have these online). Listen to her response, and document her answers. Have a specific outcome for what you are trying to accomplish. Set out a reasonable method of measuring progress against the scope and sequence, and suggest another meeting a month or so in the future. If necessary, invite the principal to 2nd meeting so that everyone can be on the same page.

 

Good luck!

[tex-mex]

I would encourage you to be very professional when delineating your concerns. I would not discuss anything that does not involve your own child directly. Anything else could sound like tattling.

 

This next part I say very gently, but I am going to mention it because I am in a supervisory position over professionals (I consider teachers to be professionals, even when their behavior suggests otherwise:tongue_smilie:). When someone comes to me with a complaint about a person I supervise, it is my job to weigh and investigate the merits of the complaint. The first question I will ask is what steps the complainant has taken to resolve the issue with my subordinate. In your situation, I would probably want to see that you had taken your curricular concerns to the teacher, and that after a reasonable amount of time, she had failed to address them to your satisfaction. This action would demonstrate to me that you were interested in improving the situation and didn't have a personal axe to grind. It would also give you enormous credibility, because you could demonstrate objectively why you needed to involve me as supervisor.

 

FWIW, I believe that your dd's class is exactly as she described it. I think you could have an enormous impact by talking to the teacher directly about her scope and sequence and your concerns that they might not be making adequate yearly progress due to pizza parties, etc. Go in armed with a syllabus from a French II class that you respect (many high schools have these online). Listen to her response, and document her answers. Have a specific outcome for what you are trying to accomplish. Set out a reasonable method of measuring progress against the scope and sequence, and suggest another meeting a month or so in the future. If necessary, invite the principal to 2nd meeting so that everyone can be on the same page.

 

Good luck!

 

And create a paper trail!! Document everything with dates/time and what was discussed from a neutral POV. Just the facts. I strongly agree to go to the teacher first as a gesture to her bosses that you do not have an axe to grind. I would discuss the scope & sequence first -- then wrap up with the pizza party as your target of why the lessons are not being taught. If she is smart, she will realize she made a big mistake... follow up the meeting with the principal. Letters still need to be written to cover your butt as evidence to go into her file.

[Caribbean Queen]

If I plan on pointing out to the principal that this French class will likely NOT be approved by VP for credit towards their high school diploma, and furthermore, that they (the public school) are NOT the only game in town; that they have plenty of competition from homeschoolers, the community college, and online courses.

 

When you have the meeting I think you should measure progress based on state standards or the public schools' standards, not on VP. community college or homeschoolers standards. It's the prinicpals job to meet the standards set for his school. He has probably never heard of Vertias Press.

 

I think you should speak up for the boy. I think it is the right thing to do.

 

The teacher might treat your daughter worse than that boy. She may get the kids to turn against her too. She may say things like. "Thank your classmate Ms. Homeschooler for all the homework I am sending home with you tonight. Her mother requested that you have more work to do."

 

It is February already. Quit. Tell the principal about the problems in the class and tell him you won't be back.

[FloridaLisa]

This makes me heartsick. And we wonder why our bright boys are failing miserably in the schools. The teacher's behavior is far, far beyond unprofessional. It's harrassment, discrimination and could even raise a violation of privacy rights issue. Unbelievable and so very sad.

 

Anyway, I would separate the two issues you've raised for two reasons. First, as soon as the principal hears that you consider the French class subpar and insufficient, s/he will likely become defensive and may not even address the issue of the boy. Second, the syllabus either will or will not be approved by Veritas for credit, right? Complaints about class quality probably will not affect this semester. Your choice is probably to bear with it this semester or drop it altogether and possibly look for an alternative to finish out the year (private tutoring or online?).

 

Good for you and your daughter for stepping in as Good Samaratin's on behalf of this young boy.

 

Lisa

[happi duck]

They had time to order and eat pizza? The front office allowed a pizza to be delivered? :glare: So weird!

[michelle l]

You've gotten some good advice. I just want to add (I think someone said to only address issues that involve your child directly) that the issue with the boy does impact, and therefore involve, your daugher.

 

Most public schools understand that in order for learning to occur, especially in a classroom environment, some basic needs need to be met. One of these basic needs is safety, which includes emotional safety. When this teacher spoke ill of the boys who were not in the room, continued to ask the boy if he could go to another class, and discussed his grades in front of the class (this should ALWAYS be a private matter), she very likely created concern in the hearts and minds of all the students present.

 

What might she say about them when they are absent? Would she reveal their grades to the class? She violated their trust by behaving in such an unprofessional manner, and trust impacts learning. You have every right to address the issue.

[Jackie in NE]

First, thanks to all of you for your support and wise advice. I've done a little bit of homework, and have discovered, unhappily, that the state standards in this area are extremely vague.... extremely! I don't think they will be any help at all. There are standards put in writing for 8th grade and 11th grade. Everything in between is something of a wasteland.

 

The teacher does not use a text. She makes up her own "packets" (5 or 6 pages of vocabulary and phrases) that the students complete from time to time. Dd usually completes these in class; I rarely see them. In fact, this is what she did on the day in question.... worked on a packet.... while the others were being catty, and eating pizza.

 

I've been unable to locate the young man's family. He has a very common surname, and I called around a bit last night, then started feeling a bit like a stalker,:001_huh:, so let it go. Poor guy. Someone suggested my dd passing him a note of encouragement, but I really don't want to involve her in this drama any further.

 

So, I'm off to see the principal in an hour, and I plan to raise both issues: the lack of instruction taking place, and the exceedingly poor learning environment being created by this teacher. I will be professional.

 

I had hoped that my dd could have a great experience learning French. She loves languages. But I guess she learned something else instead. I am proud of her for coming to me about this. My motivation in addressing the issue comes from my desire to show her that you don't just stand by and let others be abused. You don't just stand by when others aren't doing the job they're getting paid to do. Unfortunately, she will probably also learn that teachers of this ilk seldom have an "a-ha" moment. A leopard rarely changes its spots. But maybe, just maybe, this teacher will act with some restraint in the future.

 

Thanks again, everyone, for your help. Wish me luck... and, more to the point, prayers are always welcome.

 

Jackie

[Veronica in VA]

We had a similar incident involving my son. It was also a racial incident (my son is adopted internationally). He took steps and so did we, but it was never really resolved. We were warned quietly by some that there might be some retaliation by the teacher and there was. Everyone felt oh so bad, but no one could do anything about it. As it was a required class to graduate, we yanked him out at the very end and he finished at home. He didn't help his cause as he gave up and ended up pretty depressed. This particular teacher has a history of doing this, and actually bragged about it to others. We didn't want others to go through the same thing, and were told don't worry she is retiring. Guess who's back this year?!

 

I knew they didn't take it seriously when the school sent me a schedule this year (since they didn't have in their records that he graduated at home through NARS). They scheduled him for the same teacher!

He had some great teachers in ps, too so I'm not public school bashing. But there are some that have some sort of agenda, and you do have to be careful.

[Jackie in NE]

Veronica,

 

Just back from my meeting, and the principal warned me that there might be retaliation from the teacher. (!) How frustrating is that? The principal warning me to be careful of his subordinate? He also told me that this particular teacher has a history of "not being able to relate to boys", and that they have been working on it. Crud. There are so many things wrong with our school system, it is hard to know where to start. And although I'm glad that I can homeschool my dc, I realize that many people are simply unable to homeschool, and are stuck in the system. For them, I hope that things can change. For them, I think it is necessary that we stay involved and don't completely disassociate ourselves from the education process.

 

OK, off my soapbox.

 

I am sorry for what happened to your ds. How painful to see that happen. My ds is African-American (my husband and I are anglo). If any racial discrimination takes place with him, I'm sure it will be hard for me to not throttle the offender!

[LibraryLover]

Even if you do end up pulling your dd, by meeting with the principal you have tried to help those kids subjected to this abuse. Those boys and girls need someone to speak for them, so as the mother of two lovely boys, thank you. Teen boys are so maligned in our society. It's such a shame. I know some wonderful boys. In fact, i don't know any boys who aren't worthy of respect.

[Terabith]

Okay, that is a completely unacceptable response to a VERY serious issue. That teacher's actions are indefensible and go far beyond "not being able to relate well to boys."

 

To be honest, it doesn't sound like your daughter's grade is a real issue, since it's unlikely to be approved by VP. So retaliation in that way would not be a major concern. I would be worried about her emotional retaliation towards your daughter.

 

That said, I think you must speak to the teacher. Honestly, I think the curriculum issue would take second place in my concern to her behavior. I would focus on how your daughter felt, and how that emotional environment affected her.

 

I would also, or maybe alternatively, write a letter to the superintendent. This is appalling.

[Parrothead]

Veronica,

 

Just back from my meeting, and the principal warned me that there might be retaliation from the teacher. (!) How frustrating is that? The principal warning me to be careful of his subordinate? He also told me that this particular teacher has a history of "not being able to relate to boys", and that they have been working on it.

I really hope that is code for "we will take care of it immediately, but I can not discuss any disciplinary action beyond this because of privacy laws."

[lionfamily1999]

I would make sure to use the phrase "gender discrimination".

 

Civil liberties union?

 

I would not let the principal handle this alone. I would make sure I had some legal back-up, because this is rediculous, cruel and that teacher has some serious issues that need to be dealt with BEFORE she can completely turn the boy off from languages.

 

Sorry, this sort of thing really raises my hackles.

[lionfamily1999]

Veronica,

 

Just back from my meeting, and the principal warned me that there might be retaliation from the teacher. (!) How frustrating is that? The principal warning me to be careful of his subordinate? He also told me that this particular teacher has a history of "not being able to relate to boys", and that they have been working on it. Crud. There are so many things wrong with our school system, it is hard to know where to start. And although I'm glad that I can homeschool my dc, I realize that many people are simply unable to homeschool, and are stuck in the system. For them, I hope that things can change. For them, I think it is necessary that we stay involved and don't completely disassociate ourselves from the education process.

 

OK, off my soapbox.

 

I am sorry for what happened to your ds. How painful to see that happen. My ds is African-American (my husband and I are anglo). If any racial discrimination takes place with him, I'm sure it will be hard for me to not throttle the offender!

WHAT!

 

Oh, arg, blast, fie, insertotherangrywordshere.

 

Yeah, I think it's time for bigger guns. She HAS A HISTORY of DISCRIMINATION and HE'S warning YOU that there could be REPERCUSSIONS?!? What in the world is this? A school or a jail?!?

[OhM]

Veronica,

 

Just back from my meeting, and the principal warned me that there might be retaliation from the teacher. (!) How frustrating is that? The principal warning me to be careful of his subordinate? He also told me that this particular teacher has a history of "not being able to relate to boys", and that they have been working on it. Crud. There are so many things wrong with our school system, it is hard to know where to start. And although I'm glad that I can homeschool my dc, I realize that many people are simply unable to homeschool, and are stuck in the system. For them, I hope that things can change. For them, I think it is necessary that we stay involved and don't completely disassociate ourselves from the education process.

 

 

I would suggest that both you and your daughter keep a diary, beginning with the principal's words in his meeting, of anything and everything that happens in that class from here on out.

 

If there is retaliation, even if it is too subtle to point to a particular incident, having the pattern recorded will give you something to take to the school board, if it comes to that.

 

And at this point, if the teacher's behavior doesn't improve, I WOULD be taking this back to the principal, and then over his head. It is ridiculous to acknowledge, "Yes, we know this is a problem," and then offer NO solution or recourse for the students affected.

 

:angry:

[FloridaLisa]

Just back from my meeting, and the principal warned me that there might be retaliation from the teacher. (!) How frustrating is that? The principal warning me to be careful of his subordinate? He also told me that this particular teacher has a history of "not being able to relate to boys", and that they have been working on it. Crud. There are so many things wrong with our school system, it is hard to know where to start.

 

Oy. The principal's lack of response and concern for *his* student answers the question raised by Jean earlier about why parents don't jump in to change the system. And a stark reminder to me of the beauty and privilege of being able to educate my children in the home. My hat is off to the committed teachers and principals who teach responsibly and well in the face of deep systemic problems.

 

Lisa

[Aubrey]

Just wanted to mention--retaliation could be against your dd OR the boy in the class. Esp if your dd stays in the class, the teacher may not know who complained & would logically guess it's the boy. Fwiw.

[Veronica in VA]

Veronica,

 

Just back from my meeting, and the principal warned me that there might be retaliation from the teacher. (!) How frustrating is that? The principal warning me to be careful of his subordinate? He also told me that this particular teacher has a history of "not being able to relate to boys", and that they have been working on it. Crud. There are so many things wrong with our school system, it is hard to know where to start. And although I'm glad that I can homeschool my dc, I realize that many people are simply unable to homeschool, and are stuck in the system. For them, I hope that things can change. For them, I think it is necessary that we stay involved and don't completely disassociate ourselves from the education process.

 

OK, off my soapbox.

 

I am sorry for what happened to your ds. How painful to see that happen. My ds is African-American (my husband and I are anglo). If any racial discrimination takes place with him, I'm sure it will be hard for me to not throttle the offender!

 

I'm sorry. I wish I had words of wisdom after we went through it. I hope there is no retaliation.

[Jeannie in NJ]

when I was having a problem with someone in the guidance office, I went straight to the superintent and the problem was resolved that same day. Especially since the principal does not seem to be handling the situation at all well in your case, maybe a call to super is in order

[AuntieM]

when I was having a problem with someone in the guidance office, I went straight to the superintent and the problem was resolved that same day. Especially since the principal does not seem to be handling the situation at all well in your case, maybe a call to super is in order

 

I agree. You're following the chain of command, it's time to go to the next rung. His response to you was totally flaccid. He probably doesn't expect you to go higher. Perhaps he felt dismissing you in such a way would scare you into dropping the matter.

 

Are you - your dd - prepared for the worst retaliation the teacher could offer? If the worst case scenario is that you end up removing her from the class and she earns no credit, I would definitely write a letter to the superintendent of the school district. You could frame it as a sort of "helpful" letter, warning him that this teacher is making the school vulnerable to discrimination charges. But if this is the place she's going to sit for the ACT or SAT, and that old teacher might be a proctor.... I wouldn't want to put my kid in that situation.

 

Definitely a tough choice from this point, whether to continue with the complaint or just drop it, but really, what a disappointing response from the principal.

[Pink Fairy]

His response to you was totally flaccid.

 

This is the best description ever. :lol: And with the added benefit of being true.

[michelle l]

How awful! I can't believe the principal said that! What about going back to the principal and saying sorry, that's not good enough. No way should there be retaliation. If they can't protect your daughter from her teacher, they should move her to a different class. Next step? I'd go to the superindentant.:mad:

[johnandtinagilbert]

Okay, that is a completely unacceptable response to a VERY serious issue. That teacher's actions are indefensible and go far beyond "not being able to relate well to boys."

 

To be honest, it doesn't sound like your daughter's grade is a real issue, since it's unlikely to be approved by VP. So retaliation in that way would not be a major concern. I would be worried about her emotional retaliation towards your daughter.

 

That said, I think you must speak to the teacher. Honestly, I think the curriculum issue would take second place in my concern to her behavior. I would focus on how your daughter felt, and how that emotional environment affected her.

 

I would also, or maybe alternatively, write a letter to the superintendent. This is appalling.

 

I really hope that is code for "we will take care of it immediately, but I can not discuss any disciplinary action beyond this because of privacy laws."

 

WHAT!

 

Oh, arg, blast, fie, insertotherangrywordshere.

 

Yeah, I think it's time for bigger guns. She HAS A HISTORY of DISCRIMINATION and HE'S warning YOU that there could be REPERCUSSIONS?!? What in the world is this? A school or a jail?!?

 

Um. I'd love to say, "That is not an acceptable answer."

 

Letter to Super. is in order. Please tell us he is actually doing something about this and not just blowing smoke.

 

I might have to sit in on a few classes, as anonymously as possible.

 

How many students come in contact with this woman daily?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I might have to sit in on a few classes, as anonymously as possible.

 

 

 

I would be extremely surprised if this would be allowed.

[at the beach]

Oy. The principal's lack of response and concern for *his* student answers the question raised by Jean earlier about why parents don't jump in to change the system. And a stark reminder to me of the beauty and privilege of being able to educate my children in the home. My hat is off to the committed teachers and principals who teach responsibly and well in the face of deep systemic problems.

 

Lisa

:iagree: My oldest graduated from public school. I remember in 8th grade or 9th, there was a teacher who would randomly call on kids and make them answer questions. One time my child said she didn't know the answer and he then threatened to take her bonus points away and give them to this total slacker who wore a shirt with a pot plant on it. :001_huh: Anyway, I was pretty sure he was not going to take my dd's points away, but I told her if she ended up with a B, that was probably the way it would be. She also did not want me getting involved. She was going to be in the system for the rest of her high school years, and complaining might make things hard for her. I told her maybe she should bake him some cookies to get on his good side. :tongue_smilie: I know you are all going to be shaking your head at that but I was obviously kidding with her. I'm telling you, it's just not that easy to go head to head with a teacher or the system. My kids were all in school until my youngest had learning differences and I yanked out my middle and youngest child when they were in very early elementary school. They are much younger than my oldest, who was going into her Senior year when I started homeschooling the youngers. When they were in school, what helped most was being an involved parent. PTA, helping sell snacks at sports games, etc. Now, if I had issues with bullying or with a younger elementary aged child, I would go to the school administrators, but really, most of the time it just does no good, especially when dealing with older kids. Also, I hear it all the time, that parents grit their teeth and put up with stuff because otherwise their kid might suffer the wrath of a teacher.

 

There are deep systemic problems that can be impossible to tackle unless you're up for that. Parents of kids with special needs often can't even prevail on getting their kids services that the kids need. But for me, I didn't want to conform to the system anymore nor did I want to work within the system to change it. I just wanted to have my children home and focus on giving them the best education I could and enjoying my time with them.

 

Really, this whole story doesn't surprise me in the least.