I want another baby :)

[mlgbug]

we dont have the space, we dont have the money, but i so want to grow our family more....

we dont use protection other than "pull out and pray" as some call it.. and im secretly hoping it fails :)

 

just had to share

[Murphy101]

:grouphug:

 

Understand.

The heart often doesn't agree with the mind.

[delaney]

"we" were done at 4.....or at least he was. Here we are with 6 and I claim ignorance on how that happened!:D

[sunshine]

Does he say absolutely no? I am thinking he is not adverse to another child if you are not actively trying to prevent. I mean, he does understand how this happens right?

 

I hope you get a BFP this month, then I can live vicariously through you.:D

[mama2cntrykids]

Does he say absolutely no? I am thinking he is not adverse to another child if you are not actively trying to prevent. I mean, he does understand how this happens right?

 

I hope you get a BFP this month, then I can live vicariously through you.:D

 

LoL..I'm just laughing because my dh says "We're done. No more." Yet, we have the same method as the OP, lol. Yes, he DOES understand what causes it. He says he's done, but if we had a whoops, he'd be ok with it;). It doesn't help that I'd love another, lol!

[Pink Fairy]

Please check out the Couple to Couple League website. They have information on understanding and charting a woman's cycle to determine fertility. This is helpful to either facilitate pregnancy or, if you have a serious reason, to avoid relations on those fertile days.

 

I think you'll find natural family planning (NFP) a lot more reliable than your current practice, regardless of your goal. :001_smile: I've been practicing NFP for almost 20 years, and I've used the information both ways--to conceive a baby, and to not conceive a baby, always recognizing that the final decision is in God's hands.

 

Perhaps your dh is not completely averse to having another?

[Murphy101]

My dh and I would argue that any man using that method is more open to another than he claims. ;)

 

really they come in an itty package and don't take up much room and ....

[mlgbug]

yeh he alwasys knows there is a possiblily......and he wouldnt FLIP if i got prego....and he says it would be nice all the time...but i think college tuition scareds him,lol

[Caribbean Queen]

we dont have the space, we dont have the money, but i so want to grow our family more....

we dont use protection other than "pull out and pray" as some call it.. and im secretly hoping it fails :)

 

just had to share

 

Have you noticed that I am expecting? ;)

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

We had three while living in a two bedroom house. DH was going to graduate school at the time. It was surprisingly easy. If you kept all of your baby things you shouldn't have to spend much money. Good luck!

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

Please check out the Couple to Couple League website. They have information on understanding and charting a woman's cycle to determine fertility. This is helpful to either facilitate pregnancy or, if you have a serious reason, to avoid relations on those fertile days.

 

I think you'll find natural family planning (NFP) a lot more reliable than your current practice, regardless of your goal. :001_smile: I've been practicing NFP for almost 20 years, and I've used the information both ways--to conceive a baby, and to not conceive a baby, always recognizing that the final decision is in God's hands.

 

Perhaps your dh is not completely averse to having another?

 

We use NFP too and it is awesome. That's how we knew that youngest dd was due at the end of January and not the end of December. :)

[Ravin]

We're planning on starting to try for #2 after I get my annual exam this spring/summer. I'm going to have my IUD removed and it'll be open season. Hopefully, I'll catch fairly quickly because it would be nice to actually have the baby before I start law school in fall 2011. I'm quite excited, and so is DH...I just wish it hadn't taken 6 years to get him to the point that he was ready for another, despite our financial situation. He had to change his attitude and priorities, first.

[dsacco]

I had a tubal reversal last March and so we will see what happens. I have a "tracking" ap on my iPhone and I find it hilarious that even with DH saying we need to use it so we DON'T get preg - he's always "ready" on the "green" days (which are fertile days)

 

We have 4 kids in the house right now (2 are foster kids) and we might get their sisters and adopt all 4 at one point.... AND their bio-mom is due in March and will probably lose that one as well - and they want me to take him/her.... so I'm ready to have a "full house!"

[astrid]

Yikes. I guess I"m too much of a planner. We couldn't afford another so we didn't have another. Other reasons too, but wow, I don't know how people afford large families. I give people who can do it a lot of credit. I know I was meant to be the mom of an only. :001_smile:

 

astrid

[Peek a Boo]

really they come in an itty package and don't take up much room and ....

 

yeah..."affordability" and "enough room" is pretty subjective.

 

College tuition is one of the easier hurdles ;)

[KRG]

Well you just never know...I recently found out I was pg(due in September). My one and only will turn 13 a month after this baby is born (!!!!) Best wishes!!

[Impish]

We've used the same method of birth control since Princess was born 3 yrs ago. Notice she's our youngest. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'd love another, but Wolf is becoming more determined to adopt rather than 'home grown', lol. We'll see. I trust that God has a plan for us, and it will happen how He wills it. Whats meant to be will be.

 

I'm just openly waiting.

[LibraryLover]

Sometimes it takes being out of the demands of baby and toddler hood for some to think they could handle it all again. You don't know what the future might hold, so maybe give him some space. It's possible that once the baby is older, he might want another. At any rate, I would let him have some space about it right now.

 

I also think parents who are the sole financial providers for their families can feel panicked about supporting everyone. They might see the need for a larger car, or house, and they don't know if they can meet the challenge eaily. Healthy babies are cheap...free for a time even, if you have health insurance and friends to pass along diapers, and you breastfeed etc

 

I think the main provider might tend to more think about big kids and greater costs. Big kids need big shoes and licenses and insurance to drive cars, more food, and hockey equipment or gymnastics lessons or what not. Maybe college that isn't completely supported by scholarships etc. It's can be a big deal to consider the future needs. Some people are more relaxed about that, and some are more anxious about it. You love him, so give him some time.

Edited February 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[BakersDozen]

 

I don't know how people afford large families

We don't plan to pay our dcs' college tuition. ;) Take that away and it's not as expensive as one would think. Full house or full ride to college...I'll take the full house. :D

[astrid]

We don't plan to pay our dcs' college tuition. ;) Take that away and it's not as expensive as one would think. Full house or full ride to college...I'll take the full house. :D

 

Umm....I don't get it. Could you explain what you mean by "full house?"

 

astrid (admittedly dense sometimes!)

[Jen500]

We don't plan to pay our dcs' college tuition. ;) Take that away and it's not as expensive as one would think. Full house or full ride to college...I'll take the full house. :D

 

I really want to help pay for our dcs college. My parents paid my tuition...I met many students who were on their own financially for college, and they seemed angry about not getting any financial help from their families.

[LibraryLover]

I have 4 kids who are planning college. Well, actually, one is already in college, and the next oldest is working like a dog to get her applications in order. I don't know how I couldn't help them.

[LibraryLover]

I really want to help pay for our dcs college. My parents paid my tuition...I met many students who were on their own financially for college, and they seemed angry about not getting any financial help from their families.

 

 

Even state colleges are costly, and some kids, depending on their test scores, are well beyond any first year cc classes. I have a child who got 4s and 5s on AP tests, so there was nothng for him at our particular CC. If you have an elite athlete, there are many scholarships, but far fewer for elite academicians. lol

 

I think the most cost efficient way to have a bunch of college- age kids is to hope they want to go to a trade school. Plumbers make a lot of money! Or maybe have grandparents who can help. Or maybe they have some great talent that needs no college honing!

[milovany]

We don't plan to pay our dcs' college tuition. ;) Take that away and it's not as expensive as one would think. Full house or full ride to college...I'll take the full house. :D

 

:iagree: Love it!

 

Umm....I don't get it. Could you explain what you mean by "full house?"

 

Lots of kids.

 

I really want to help pay for our dcs college. My parents paid my tuition...I met many students who were on their own financially for college, and they seemed angry about not getting any financial help from their families.

 

I paid for my own college, and so did my dh. Neither of us minded/minds one bit. In fact I'm GLAD I did partly because I'm not using my degree (I believe most graduates don't after so many years; would have to research) and so I don't feel "beholden" to my parents. Also it's a great accomplishment! In addition to graduating, you know?

[LibraryLover]

I think it's great if kids can pay their own tuition without any help. That would be a dream and one I encourage! I am not sure it's possible at all colleges and unis in the US (the cost is quite a bit more than when I was in college), but when it can be done, that's fantastic! I am all for it.

 

I hope my kids don't feel 'beholden' to us because we want to help them. It's something I want to do as a parent. I wish it were easier, of course, but nothing much about parenting is easier. I hope they will forgive our help.

Edited February 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[GaHadley]

I am an only child and my parents didn't pay for my college. DH is one of 4, and he worked and earned scholarships (not athletic) to pay his way through the school of his choice.

 

I don't feel the obligation to pay for my kids' college. I would love to be in the financial situation to help them along the way, but I'm not going to let that determine the number of children we have.

[milovany]

I think the most cost efficient way to have a bunch of college- age kids is to hope they want to go to a trade school.

 

Or live 3 blocks from a state university so they can live at home, LOL. That's our situation, and our town is small enough that even if we move further away, or out into the country, it will be easy-peasy for them to live at home and go to school. But we're not even pushing college. It depends on what they want to do with their lives; if that doesn't require college there's no need to go (in our opinion). They can if they want, of course, but we're not pushing that as a "must."

[Carrie12345]

We really didn't have much money when we had 3 small children, and that was okay b/c they didn't take up much room or have many expensive needs.

 

Now that I have 3 big children and one small child, I feel as though it would be easier (financially and space wise) if we had a dozen little ones!

 

But, alas, they do get bigger. Good consignment clothes and hand me downs become harder to find. Extracurriculars become a strong desire. They expect to be fed real meals at least 3 times a day! I hope to help them with college. I hope to help them with weddings. They acquire lots of books and toys and games and art supplies and create lots of laundry and use lots of hot water.

 

Then again, they're a lot of fun.

 

Personally, I don't know if I could do toddlerhood again, but I'd like to adopt older (elementary) children. I don't find it as easy as saying "We'll tighten our belts" or "People are more important than money." If I could dismiss the finances that easily, I'd have 27 kids. If I was all about the money, well, I wouldn't have any kids!

 

The balance is not always easy to find. Until I do find it and feel confident in it, we've got what we've got!

[Peek a Boo]

Umm....I don't get it. Could you explain what you mean by "full house?"

 

astrid (admittedly dense sometimes!)

 

hee hee--

 

2 Adults + 3 Kids= Full House. Like the country song. ;)

 

:lol:

 

-------------

and we plan to help dc pay for college too, but college tuition is not a determining factor in whether we have kids or not. 2 completely different discussions imnsho.

[Jen500]

hee hee--

 

2 Adults + 3 Kids= Full House. Like the country song. ;)

 

:lol:

 

-------------

and we plan to help dc pay for college too, but college tuition is not a determining factor in whether we have kids or not. 2 completely different discussions imnsho.

 

Oh my....I guess we have a full house here. :lol:

[LibraryLover]

A family will qualify for more financial aid if they have several children close in age going to college, have little home equity (or rent), and not a huge income.

 

Families with higher incomes (not to say wealthy) with fewer children more spread apart in age, or who have home equity, are not able to get as much, if any, financial aid scholarships.

 

Also, a young person on their own, financially independent from their parents, will have more opportunity for scholarship through FA. I know a young man whose parents had a decent, not great income, who declared himself independent (that means his parents cannot claim him on their income tax,m he cannot live with them full time etc) so he could receive almost a full scholarship (he does have work study).

Edited February 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[stripe]

Also Georgetown University has developed a simplified method of natural family planning for use by people living around the world who may not be in a position to keep complicated charts:

 

http://www.irh.org/RTP-TDM.htm

[LibraryLover]

Or live 3 blocks from a state university so they can live at home, LOL. That's our situation, and our town is small enough that even if we move further away, or out into the country, it will be easy-peasy for them to live at home and go to school. But we're not even pushing college. It depends on what they want to do with their lives; if that doesn't require college there's no need to go (in our opinion). They can if they want, of course, but we're not pushing that as a "must."

 

 

Our state college tuition & fees is nearly 10k. That's living at home. I think most teens could make a lot of that money working in summer and part time during the school year. It's not easy, but it is doable. Your kids won't even need a car.

 

I am actually pushing my oldest dd to slow it down, chill, take a gap year...but she knows what she wants and is hard at work to get there. I just am not sure she would be able to come up with all tuition on her own, so we will be helping. I hope that's ok with her. My child already in college has been on the dean's list every semester for 3 years and is planning law school, after a stint in either the Peace Corp or Teach America. (He's applying to both). I hope we can help him. He's worked so hard. He's also doing a program in Japan next year regarding international government that we are helping him pay for. Hes such a great student, and so self-motivated. It's hard to see this and say "You're on your own".

 

He'd actually make a great plumber, he's really bright and good with his hands. Kids. You never know. They just never tell you when you're planning a family who you'll get!

Edited February 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[mlgbug]

its funny, every month i hope to be late, get the quizy feeling i ALWAYS get...:) still hopeful :)

[astrid]

hee hee--

 

2 Adults + 3 Kids= Full House. Like the country song. ;)

 

:lol:

.

 

OH. Not a country music fan. See siggy below. :001_smile: I vaguely remember a television sitcom of the same name, sometime during my high school years. Mostly I wondered if it was some other sort of quiverful thing.

Just goes to show you how much I tend to over think things.

 

But then again I am quite dense on occasion.

 

astrid (whose house is quite full with one child, friends of child, dogs, cats, chickens -though not in the house!- knitting group, etc.)

[Halcyon]

my dh's family had 6 kids, one severely mentally disabled,and they didn't help him at all with college or grad school. He went to Columbia at 16 for college and then to graduate school at 20. They refused to help, even though they could have, at least a bit. So he was on his own at 16, working, full course load and all.

 

He paid off all his college loans when he turned 44. I think it was a burden for him, albeit one he went into with his eyes open, and it would have been wonderful if his parents had cared enough to offer to help in some way, given that they could. But they were never caring parents in that way.

 

I really want to help my kids to pay for their tuition in some way--as much as I can. I expect them to either work part time or get loans or something for the rest, but I wouldn't be able to NOT help if I could.

[Impish]

I *hope* to be able to help the kids with secondary education. Right now, we've spent the last years hand to mouth, putting any aside was unthinkable.

 

Now, it looks like it might be doable. It could become even more so if Wolf continues his job after we move to an acreage (the company is large, and transfers are available), and we're able to become largely self sufficient in terms of raising our own food.

 

If we can't help out financially, the kids will certainly be encouraged to live at home as long as possible, in order to cut down on financial loads.

 

We'll see.

[kokotg]

 

I think the most cost efficient way to have a bunch of college- age kids is to hope they want to go to a trade school. Plumbers make a lot of money! Or maybe have grandparents who can help. Or maybe they have some great talent that needs no college honing!

 

Our plan is to stay in Georgia and hope the money doesn't run out for the HOPE grant (free tuition at in-state colleges if you maintain a B average. Lottery money). When I mention the possibility of a fourth, DH always says we can't afford to send four kids to college. "Umm, sweetie? We can't afford to send ONE kid to college," I remind him. At least if we had another, the current batch would be all the way through by the time s/he was ready to go.

[LibraryLover]

Our plan is to stay in Georgia and hope the money doesn't run out for the HOPE grant (free tuition at in-state colleges if you maintain a B average. Lottery money). When I mention the possibility of a fourth, DH always says we can't afford to send four kids to college. "Umm, sweetie? We can't afford to send ONE kid to college," I remind him. At least if we had another, the current batch would be all the way through by the time s/he was ready to go.

 

lol At any rate, people with one child will not be at the top of any financial aid pile. The schools would see two possible adult incomes, and that doesn't play well for aid. At- home moms of adult children...not sympathetic. It's really better to have a bunch, have no equity, no property, and nothing saved. It's how it goes with the FASA. If you have anythng at all, FASA will expect you to tap into it and pony up.

[astrid]

lol At any rate, people with one child will not be at the top of any financial aid pile. The schools would see two possible adult incomes, and that doesn't play well for aid. At- home moms of adult children...not sympathetic. It's really better to have a bunch, have no equity, no property, and nothing saved. It's how it goes with the FASA. If you have anythng at all, FASA will expect you to tap into it and pony up.

 

In my mind, this gets back to that long-ago thread about whether it's wise to continue to have children if you fully intend to use government subsidies. That thread was regarding foodstamps, WIC, etc. but I wonder if there's any applicability to this situation? I have only one child, in part because that's all we felt we could afford to feed, clothe, educate, etc. without help from others/the government. Really. We (well, *I*) was petrified to get pregnant again for fear we'd not be able to make ends meet, and both dh and I were employed full-time in well-paying jobs at the time, and dd was totally planned. I guess I'm a fraidy-cat at heart.

 

edited to add: and NO, we were not living high on the hog-- just a very small house in expensive Connecticut (but we were both raised here, we didn't move here) two OLD cars, no vacations, no jewelry, not even gift exchanges with each other at Christmas. NO frills. Not even Starbucks!

 

Not making judgements, mind you-- just musing aloud. Sorry, OP-- this thread seems to have been hijacked a bit to encompass paying college tuitions!

 

astrid

Edited February 9, 2010 by astrid

[sunshine]

My son's college tuition is 27,000 a year. Our income due to imports has been slashed to 1/5 of what it was 10 years ago. We live in Georgia. Hope scholarships don't cross the border. 2 days before we were to deliver him to his campus the college called and said they had 1000 unexpected applications to the University this year and they were moving 500 to the online program. We were part of the online. The tuition was 3,800. He received max Pell grant, an outside scholarship and we had to "pony" up 800.00. This semester, he received 24,000 in inhouse and out side scholarships. At the last minute he decided to stay online another semester, get a job, make an organic raised garden and get chickens. With another scholarship for being on Dean's List we won't have to pay anything. When he goes on campus he will have saved about 5,000. We will make payments on the rest. He will do work study.

 

My point is: My son understands the necessity of a degree in todays world. He knows that we are not financially well off and it doesn't look so great for the future. He took the bull by the horns and made some grown up decisions and didn't act like a spoiled brat demanding that Mommy and Daddy foot the bill. He has always understood the value of a dollar because we have never hidden finances from him. Our daughters understand it too. They are already at age 10 and 7 planning their colleges. They know how important the SATs are, their school work. We talk allllll the time.

 

The future should be realistic to your kids so that they are not afraid of it and feel like they can do something about it.

 

Never let the future stop you from doing great things now. Having children, is a great thing.

[LibraryLover]

oops double post

Edited February 9, 2010 by LibraryLover

[LibraryLover]

My college student is very hard-working. He also holds various jobs and comes home at break and summer to work. He has recieved some money each year based soley on his GPA. His grades are stellar, and he is a serious and motivated student. We do not get financial aid as I am considered a non-earning parent who could work and contribute. We are not wealthy, although my husband's income can support us without worry, and without me working. We have other children, so we have our challenges. It's currently not society's job to send my child to college because I am an at- home hsing parent and can't figure out how to earn more money. lol ( I do earn some money, but it does not offset college costs). I do wish college was not so expensive.

 

We do see how hard our children work, how talented they are in their areas of interests. We support them as best we can. They are our children and our responsibility. Not that I don't wish higher education was not less costly, or that we qualified for free money! I most certainly do! :)

 

Astrid, we live in MA, so I understood what you are saying about expenses and modest housing. We live in a very small home, but everything here is very costly. We are here because our families are here, and this is our home, no matter how much more cheaply we could live in FL or wherever.

 

In my mind, this gets back to that long-ago thread about whether it's wise to continue to have children if you fully intend to use government subsidies. That thread was regarding foodstamps, WIC, etc. but I wonder if there's any applicability to this situation? I have only one child, in part because that's all we felt we could afford to feed, clothe, educate, etc. without help from others/the government. Really. We (well, *I*) was petrified to get pregnant again for fear we'd not be able to make ends meet, and both dh and I were employed full-time in well-paying jobs at the time, and dd was totally planned. I guess I'm a fraidy-cat at heart.

 

edited to add: and NO, we were not living high on the hog-- just a very small house in expensive Connecticut (but we were both raised here, we didn't move here) two OLD cars, no vacations, no jewelry, not even gift exchanges with each other at Christmas. NO frills. Not even Starbucks!

 

Not making judgements, mind you-- just musing aloud. Sorry, OP-- this thread seems to have been hijacked a bit to encompass paying college tuitions!

 

astrid

Edited February 9, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Peek a Boo]

In my mind, this gets back to that long-ago thread about whether it's wise to continue to have children if you fully intend to use government subsidies. That thread was regarding foodstamps, WIC, etc. but I wonder if there's any applicability to this situation? I have only one child, in part because that's all we felt we could afford to feed, clothe, educate, etc. without help from others/the government.

 

 

There are two very big issues here that are worlds apart:

 

A. without help from others, and

B. without help from the gvt.

 

There are TONS of scholarships from PRIVATE organizations out there that one can happily avail themselves of, because that is money that was given voluntarily for the EXACT reason of being distributed to others.

 

There are other situations-- like gvt healthcare ;)-- where the money is NOT given voluntarily to be distributed to others.

 

And I believe so deeply in the principle of private, voluntary giving that i will oppose gvt interventions that go against that.

 

We will NOT fill out the FAFSA for this very reason. There are enough scholarships and colleges out there that do not require it.