Share your joy in homeschooling..please

[Julie in Monterey]

Hi there,

 

I have a friend who recently decided to pull her 3 children out of school after the holiday break. She is struggling with the adjustment of having them home together full-time, figuring out their academic styles and needs and generally finding time for herself. I've told her about the boards here and how I've found so much strength and wisdom here. Frankly, she's too overwhelmed to spend the time to get on and go through old posts. So...I'm wondering if you could share when, where and what provides you will joy and and enjoyment of homeschooling your children. I'm not pretending it isn't hard, but I thought a bit of inspiration could go a long way.

 

I'll start,....I love our mornings. A slow start to the day with snuggles in bed. No rushing out of the house with a hectic start of the day. I also love learning along with my kids..witnessing those "ah-ha" moments they have. Field trips and hand-on experiences like visiting that old schoolhouse instead of reading about it are at the top of my list. Allowing them time and space to go at their own rate if that means progressing rapidly or slowly. I love, love, love being with them (most of the time). This time is so short in all of our lives and they are fun kids.

 

How about you? I'll be printing the responses to share with her.

 

Thank you in advance!

 

Julie in Monterey

[Starr]

I love the natural way we operate as a family, on school days and off. I love reading or listening to the same books and discussing them because it's fun. I loved teaching my youngest to read while drinking coffee in bed. :)

[Night Elf]

My biggest joy is the relationship I have with my children. I LOVE being with my children all day! One of the questions I get asked most often is how can I stand being with them so much. Um, wow. My dd17's friends think I'm the coolest mom because she isn't embarrassed by me. She not only loves me, she likes me. I've had a couple of her friends tell me they envied her that. I found that rather sad actually.

 

I'm sure that being home with them full-time is going to be quite an adjustment. If she's asking about time alone, that might be her biggest adjustment of all. I know there have been threads about finding ME time.

[FO4UR]

The bright side is that I am home with them so I can catch every little behavior problem, every gap in their learning before these things become big problems.

 

The down side is that *I* am the one who is responsible for correcting every.single.behavior.problem and filling in every gap in their learning....:lol:

[LibraryLover]

The best thing about hsing is our freedom. We need to know that we don't have to recreate school at home.

 

Maybe she could take a break and have fun with them for now, enjoy each other and read, play Scrabble, watch Mythbusters, go to the libbrary and get whatever books they want, museum if they wish. etc If she felt the need to give the kids some form to the day, she can start slowly.

 

Althugh they all might need a vacation from school right now. Winter school breaks are coming up anyway.

Edited February 7, 2010 by LibraryLover

[JoyfulMama]

I'm loving this afternoon- my kids are having our daily quiet time. My oldest is sitting in front of the fire, reading book after book after book. (We were at the libraries Thursday and Friday.)

DD: "Mom, I read these great books on George Washington Carver. He was a pretty neat man!"

me: "Great - I'd love for you to write up a couple paragraphs to share what you liked about him."

DD: "But not TODAY - it's Sunday, remember?" We don't do school on Sundays! I'll do it tomorrow! Besides, now I'm reading more about plants."

 

Hehe... little does she realize how much she learns EVERY single day - Sundays especially!

[KJB]

My biggest joys won't necessarily be applicable to someone who has just pulled their kids out of school.

 

If you have pulled your kids out, presumably something wasn't working. There must have been some negative to be survived until finally home school was the only or best answer.

 

In other words, the starting point isn't the same.

 

Because we have always home schooled, our family has developed an educational focus and culture. We are all devoted to getting the work done so we can move on to the next fun thing. We know how to work, how much work is necessary, and when it's OK to be done.

 

New home schoolers have to figure those things out.

 

For now, I would suggest your friend not try to find the joy. It's time to figure out a livable workable schedule so that they can get the work done without overshooting and trying to do to much. They have a learning curve to conquer. Now is the time for ground work and foundation.

 

Once they get past that, they can focus on the joy.

 

I'm not trying to be discouraging, rather, I'm suggesting that telling someone who has just pulled their kids out about the joy might just make them feel frustrated that things are so doggone difficult right now. Ironically, it might actually be discouraging to hear about everyone else's joy.

 

Joy will come.

[lllll]

..

[PinkTulip]

One of my greatest joys in homeschooling comes in the afternoons, from about 3 p.m. to dinner time. Rather than trying to balance lots of homework, spelling words, math facts, and pointless "parent-project" assignments, with all of the stuff like scouts, piano lessons, and sports, all while trying to figure out what to make and then prepare for dinner, things are so much more relaxed around here. We do a lot more reading, playing board games, and spending time just being a kid, instead of trying to squeeze everything into such a short period of time. I also love that we are able to eat dinner together as a family every night, and reconnect with each other daily.

[BridgeTea]

We loved the freedom of our new lifestyle! There was so much to celebrate. Our daughter finally had the time to read what she really wanted to, which was a lot of non-fiction. She finally got to experience letting her body follow its natural rhythms of waking and sleeping. No more getting up for that 6:30 bus! We got to cook our lunch together and just sit across from each other to eat. Those can be big things if you haven't experienced them in awhile.

 

We spent the first few weeks just getting to know each other again. Sure, it seemed as if she was a little hyper and in my face all the time looking for guidance on what to do and how to handle herself. I was going to be a SAHM for the first time in years, so I wasn't quite sure how to handle myself for awhile! But we cuddled and read together, she read by herself, we broke out the board games that were long-neglected, and we just took one hour at a time. We drove each other crazy a little, and so I had her spend a lot of time outside while I got on the phone to girlfriends or just curled in a chair with some hot tea and to be by myself. I had researched homeschooling for 3 years before starting it, and over and over again I read advice for us parents that had pulled out our public schooled children: Don't jump in to the official schooling too fast. Work on the relationships first. Just live life as a family, let things flow naturally, and just haul the kids around with you for awhile and do what you have to do. (Following your own state's laws regarding homeschooling, of course.) The kids will be learning, believe me. Add in the school stuff a bit at a time. You'll find your own groove and it will feel natural eventually.

 

About that celebration thing: I schedule a Homeschool Celebration Day four times a year. Daughter and I don't do any bookwork on that day. We usually go on a little daytrip to the city or go geocaching in the country. What we are celebrating is just the freedom that comes with homeschooling! We are very grateful for that.

 

Enjoy the journey.:)

Edited February 7, 2010 by BridgeTea

[elegantlion]

My greatest joy is the relationship I have with my son. He was in school for prek and K and his standard response when asked what he did for school was, "I don't know" or "I don't remember". this was upon picking him up from school. :glare:

 

After 6 years of homeschooling I feel like I truly know my son, kwim. I feel like I'm guiding him through the years of school, not just participating on the sidelines. He still hugs me every morning and we like to be goofy together.

 

The flexibility has allowed ds to spend more quality time with dh. We are a closer family because of homeschooling, I have no doubt.

[Hedgehogs4]

I agree with all the things that have been said so far, but I love that I have learned that "school" is overrated, and life becomes the classroom. I no longer feel guilty for falling behind in a subject, missing a day or two of regular lessons, and being able to pick and choose what we want to learn and when.

[Julie in Monterey]

Thank you everyone. I appreciate all of your responses. I think whomever brought up the point about the difficulties when pulling kids out of school and the transition time that requires hit it dead on. I think I'll do some research on those threads.

 

You all are treasures!

 

Julie in Monterey

[hsmomto5]

First, I love being with my kids and watching them learn and grow. I love the relationship I have with my teenagers. We are all close. Even my oldest that is in her first year of college. Her and I talk everyday. I would not have missed any of this for the world. Life goes so fast. Enjoy them!

Lora in NC

[sunshine]

One of the first things veteran homeschoolers in the homeschool group here tell the new homeschoolers is this:

 

1.The first year is hard. Because you have not done this before and you really are programmed that you have to have a.b.c.d. done everyday, all day until 3:00.

 

2. You don't have to have a.b.c.d. done every day until you have YOUR

own a.b.c.d. and that comes with time. When I pulled my son out, the school gave me the rest of his years work. We just did that the first month or so and then I got confident and started looking at curriculum.

 

3. Do the basics right now. Math, English, spelling, simple science, read books about historical events or people. Start at the beginning.

 

4. Plan a trip to the next curriculum fair you can find. So that you can

see what is out there.

 

5. Take a breath, go to a museum. Take a picnic lunch. ask your kids what

they think homeschooling should look like. Listen.

 

6. Tell her she can do this. Every day, or every other day!:D

[delaney]

this thread is really helping me! I am so stressed about getting stuff done in the next 5 months b/c DS will go to middle school. I can see that a week or 2 to just get used to the routine and being together is not going to hurt. I would like to just take him a few places like DC to hit some museums and spend time with him.

[WeeBeaks]

Relationships - mine with the kids, and the kids with each other. My oldest is good with the youngers, something I don't see in his PS friends, even those who have younger brothers and sisters.

 

My oldest is excited about school still, not depressed or sad. He loves to learn.

[joannqn]

TIME

 

I figured out what the best part of homeschooling was for me recently. If we found the best school...with small classes, awesome teachers, using the curriculum I would choose, etc., I would still hesitate to put my kids in school because they can't give us back the time. I would miss the time with my kids. Even if we aren't directly interacting, just being in the same house together, knowing that we have access to each other at any moment is priceless. I would also feel bad about their loss of time. I don't know how public schoolers do it...the kids are in school all day, then an activity if they are involved, then dinner, homework, and bed. When do they have time to be kids, to play, to know their siblings, to know their parents, to rest, to read?

[Night Elf]

It might be better to get posts from those who have pulled their dc out of ps's explaining to her what she's in for and ideas about how to deal with it. Maybe????

 

My younger 2 children don't count because they've been homeschooled nearly the whole time. I started homeschooling when I took my son out of Kindergarten. Over the years they tried school a few times, for short tries, but we always came back to homeschooling.

 

However, I did bring my oldest daughter home just before her 11th grade year. She had been in school all her life. It was tough for a while because she was used to having a strict schedule with strict deadlines. She was quite carried away by the freedom of homeschooling. Then she got sick with mono and lost months of schoolwork. If she was still in ps, she would be graduating in May. Since she lost so much time with too much freedom and being sick, she likely won't finish her diploma until the spring of 2011. The point is that new homeschooling families might totally freak out in this situation. But I wish I could reassure these homeschool families that time isn't as important as listening to our children.

 

The process of deschooling is a very real concept. I have personal experience with this and when I thought about it later, I was disappointed in myself for not realizing it ahead of time. I have homeschooled for 9 years now. I should know these things! I've heard many stories of families who try to jump into serious homeschooling right after pulling kids from school. The stories aren't always encouraging. An adjustment period really should be expected and accepted. A new homeschooler might feel like a failure if their homeschool doesn't mimic public school exactly. Homeschooling offers so many unique opportunities and I rather like the fact that it doesn't mimic ps.

 

Also, she should write out her reasons for pulling them from school. When (If) she gets to a point that she thinks homeschooling isn't working, she can read those reasons and perhaps be motivated to look at it with a fresh outlook.

[Karen in CO]

I love the relationship my kids have with each other. I love that my 19yo son talks to me about literature and philosophy and dactylic hexameter even though he went away to college more than a year ago. I love that my college son is my dd's official math teacher even though he is in school on Japan - I'm just the substitute :).

 

It is the sum of the little moments like finding your kids snuggled up and reading to each other and that amazing look on their faces when they learn something new. That is the joy in homeschooling that keeps me going.

 

It was and continues to be hard, but the ability to take part in helping my kids to discover their own strengths and to discover the world for themselves is awesome (and scary).

[scrapbookbuzz]

Telling her what YOU or I enjoy is, in reality, probably not going to help her one iota at this point...because she is NOT experiencing YOUR or MY experiences right now. She's in the trenches, so to speak. On that note...

 

One of the BEST things I truly learned and am quick to point out to those who are just starting the homeschooling journey is this:

 

The first year of homeschooling is alot like the first year of marriage. You find yourself spending inordinate amounts of time with this person (in schooling, it's usu. more than one) that you THOUGHT you knew but all of a sudden they seem to become someone completely different, because you're discovering all their bad habits, hangups, etc. PLUS, in her case, her kids MAY be a bit resentful right now. And if they're not, they are still experiencing some loss (of time of being around friends, a schedule they're used to, etc.)

 

She also needs to know that she will NOT get everything accomplished (in her schooling goals) that she desires to get done this year. It's.just.not.going.to.happen. And that's okay!

 

Tell her I said: Don't give up! Find a good local homeschool support group and/or co-op. And I'll be praying for you!