Hoping to raise bilingual kids

[mohop]

Hello everyone! I have not posted in this room before, but we are hoping to raise bilingual kids (currently only have one DD-18 months). My parents are native Arabic speakers, and although my Arabic is not great, we live very close to my parents and my mother helps watch my DD on an almost daily basis, so I am hoping that will help. Obviously, we have a few years until we start formal homeschooling, but I just wanted to know if anyone has any general advice about how to encourage kids to be bilingual from an early age. I guess the reason I ask is that, like I said, I was raised by native Arabic speakers but my Arabic is not very good at all, so I want my daughter to fare better somehow. Right now, she is learning words in both English and Arabic, and knows some words only in Arabic and some only in English. We speak English primarily at home and read lots of English books, so obviously that will be her stronger language, but I do want her to be conversant in Arabic. I get a hard time from some people because we do speak English with her so much, but my reasoning is: (1) I just know English better and if I spoke only Arabic to her, it would be broken Arabic and I would rather her be able to master at least one language from me; and (2) her father and paternal family are not Arabic-speakers.

 

Anyways, like I said, I guess I am just looking for general thoughts, advice, suggestions, support, etc. Thanks!

[jld]

Just have your parents always speak Arabic to her. Even if they haven't thus far, just really get on them about doing it.

 

We have a cleaning lady and a driver here in South India who speak Tamil to our 16 month old. He now has full understanding of Tamil, and the other day said, "Ama, Ama" (Mama) when I left him for a few moments.

 

Just really make sure they are speaking it to her all the time.

[Friederike in Persia]

You're likely to like books, if you like the WTM. Get some from your library on raising your children billingualy. Books on that topic helped me a lot when we started out with our first dd.

One thing is quite clear though, it would help a lot, if you would work on your Arabic and if possible your dh as well.

My children learn Russian, which I don't speak at all. It makes it so difficult to figure out if the tutor is good, what books to get,...

German on the other hand is my native language, and there we can talk about films together, read books,....even if you won't be their main Arabic source (your parents seem to do that well), it will still help for them to see that you are making the effort and Arabic is worth while learning.

[mohop]

Thanks for the tips. DH is taking Arabic classes and would love if I would speak Arabic more to him. But I'm just embarrassed by my poor speaking skills and hate being tongue tied, so I don't speak as much at home (or anywhere) as I should. I do speak Arabic some, and will work on my own skills. One thing I'm worried about is that while my DD is learning Arabic words, I don't think she's hearing enough Arabic conversation, so she may have a good vocab but, like me, will have difficulty making proper sentences, etc. But we will work on it, and I will tell my mom she should talk to DD as much as possible, explain things to her, engage her in conversations, like how I do with English.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Where are you? In an English speaking environment or an Arabic one?

 

The kids will pick up the local language easily and will generally even prefer it, regardless of what is spoken at home.

 

Many kids raised in an OPOL environment (which is approximated by having your parents speak Arabic to the kids) will not speak the secondary language, even though they could. If communication with that language is only for one person, and no one else, even youngs kids will see there's little point in speaking it. Kids need to feel the usefulness of a language.

 

We're blessed here to live in a bilingual environment. Kids need both languages to function properly, so they do get daily workouts in *using* what they know.

[cmarango]

We are a spanish/english family. My dd (2.5 yo) clearly prefers english since that is what I speak. My dh speaks both languages with her, probably 70% spanish. So, she is only exposed to spanish for an average of about 2 hours a day.

 

When my spanish speaking in-laws visit they only speak spanish with her and it is very easy to see her abilities take off during each visit. She also will speak more spanish when they are around since that is their language of choice.

 

Also, I have a friend that will occasionally watch my dd for me that speaks Hebrew. From just a few hours with her, my dd knows some Hebrew. It doesn't take much at this age.

 

So, I say, that although it would be great if one of you spoke Arabic, it will probably be enough if your dc is only exposed when with your parents. Just have your parents only speak Arabic - you obviously don't have to worry about english.

 

Hope that made some sense.

 

Christina

[Rosie_0801]

I think as long as your parents require your kiddies to answer in Arabic, they will learn. If you want to improve your speech, don't be shy about taking classes if that's what you think you need. When I was trying to do a beginners language course, most of my fellow students had excellent receptive skills, and were there to improve their productive skills. That was one of the reasons I did so poorly in the class ;) So many of these "half-lingual" people said they were that way because their parents allowed them to answer in English.

 

Rosie

[mohop]

Where are you? In an English speaking environment or an Arabic one?

 

The kids will pick up the local language easily and will generally even prefer it, regardless of what is spoken at home.

 

Many kids raised in an OPOL environment (which is approximated by having your parents speak Arabic to the kids) will not speak the secondary language, even though they could. If communication with that language is only for one person, and no one else, even youngs kids will see there's little point in speaking it. Kids need to feel the usefulness of a language.

 

We're blessed here to live in a bilingual environment. Kids need both languages to function properly, so they do get daily workouts in *using* what they know.

 

We live in East Tennessee, and everyone in the family is fluent in English, so it's a mostly English environment. There are a group of Arabic women who hold religious study circles in Arabic once a week, and I'm thinking of taking my DD there for a little more immersion.

 

I think as long as your parents require your kiddies to answer in Arabic, they will learn. If you want to improve your speech, don't be shy about taking classes if that's what you think you need. When I was trying to do a beginners language course, most of my fellow students had excellent receptive skills, and were there to improve their productive skills. That was one of the reasons I did so poorly in the class ;) So many of these "half-lingual" people said they were that way because their parents allowed them to answer in English.

 

Rosie

 

Yep; My parents spoke to us in Arabic, but we always responded in English. Now when I assess my Arabic speaking skills, I realize that what I'm most comfortable saying are the most common things I heard growing up, which are mostly related to food and chores. In retrospect, I don't think my parents carried on a lot of intelligent conversations with us in Arabic, so this is something I'll have to gently counsel my mom about doing with my kids.

[Kate in Arabia]

We were living in the States when my oldest was small, and dh and I made efforts to expose ds to as much Arabic as possible -- books, videos, games. I was not a terribly fluent speaker then -- I had learned Arabic more as a research language, so my day-to-day Arabic was weak. I would slowly learn common phrases bit by bit (like commands -- "put this away in your room", etc.) and use them consistently. But we really focused more on vocab. Now that we live in an Arabic-speaking country he has had a much much easier time picking up the local language than my other kids who were too small and/or not born yet when we were Stateside. He has outstripped me in spoken Arabic, because he watches the Arabic cartoons on tv and talks with the local kids (frustrating but reaffirming at the same time, lol, that my kid knows more than me!).

 

My point is, even if your spoken Arabic is sketchy, it will be helpful if in the long run your kids either study Arabic formally or have occasion to visit/live in an Arabic-speaking country.

[Friederike in Persia]

It's very unlikely that your daughter will pick up your not so great pronounciation. Somehow they are able to figure out who to copy.

I speak English to my dc during schooling and they haven't picked up my accent at all (a sort of British, but not totally so version), they talk like their dad, who's a native speaker, even though they interact a lot less with him than with me.

A Swiss friend of mine speaks English to her dc nearly all the time, but they don't have her Swiss accent at all, even though their dad is only around in the evening..... I could give quite a few more examples, but I guess you get my point.

 

Having said all of that, I still think that it makes sense to mainly talk a language with one's children, that one can use well.

[stripe]

You know, you might consider improving your own Arabic. Maybe ask your mom to start talking to you in Arabic, and consider taking a class or studying on your own. I would also start supplementing with books, songs, and so forth.

 

I would not not teach her Arabic because her father's family doesn't speak Arabic. My children are in a similar situation; I have learned enough of their other language so that I always know what they're talking about, even if I miss some of the details. It might make your husband feel less excluded if he improved his Arabic, even to a semi-understanding level, and could be a fun family project as well.

 

I really liked the magazine Multilingual Living, but it's on its last issue. You can still subscribe and get access to the back issues, though. The book Raising a Bilingual Child by Barbara Zurer Pearson is quite helpful as well.

[masterpiece]

In my opinion, there are two crucial factors: 1) that your mom (and dad if possible) make Arabic the only language of communication with your daughter for the first years, requiring her, as others have mentioned, to answer them in Arabic only, and 2) that you get over your fears of your level of Arabic and just use it, mistakes and all. You can't learn to speak a language well without actually speaking it, so there is no way around making mistakes. And if you're at home with a baby who can't criticize you (yet) it will be much easier than waiting until she can.

 

Hope this helps!

Edited January 4, 2010 by masterpiece

[RanchGirl]

I am just finishing reading "The Bilingual Edge" by Kendall King. It discusses the how and the why of teaching kids multiple languages and also has a lot of information on research studies done with multiple language families and variables like the language of the grandparents and the community. You might find it very helpful.

[mohop]

I am just finishing reading "The Bilingual Edge" by Kendall King. It discusses the how and the why of teaching kids multiple languages and also has a lot of information on research studies done with multiple language families and variables like the language of the grandparents and the community. You might find it very helpful.

 

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll look into this!

[Friederike in Persia]

Sorry if I sounded totally discouraging. I have made some changes recently and I think it is (and will continue to) make a difference. For one thing, I am sitting down during the lessons and learning along with the kids. I encourage DH to speak to me in German (where reasonable). Obviously my German isn't good enough to have a serious conversation, but I understand enough where he can speak to me in German in front of kids about certain things. It is very hard to get over my inhibition and self consciousness about it, but I'm trying to encourage the kids as much as possible.

 

That's impressive!!! Keep going:auto:

[stripe]

Glad to hear you've been working on it. I think it will help with your husband and kids and you being able to have one conversation, even if in two languages. I don't like feeling like I'm making everyone speak English, so if I know what's going on, no one feels excluded.

 

My kids seem to like the "secret code" aspect of speaking another language.

[Nan in Mass]

My son does, too. He switches to French when he wants to speak to me privately.

I would also like to add to this discussion that my mother made a huge impression on my son when she dusted off her elementary school French and spoke to my son. She was the first live person to speak to him in French other than I. It was enlightening. When we realized how excited he was, my sisters chimed in, too. It was so obvious that things like good grammar and accent were trivial compared with the impact of communication in general that everyone was willing to help. You know the saying about the best being the enemy of the good? I applied an extreme version LOL and managed to convince everyone that bad French was very much better than no French. That idea made me much braver and helped everyone else be brave, too.

 

The Europeans I've met haven't seemed shy about trying to speak a new language. Why? People from the US seem to be paralized by shyness.

-Nan

[Mom-ninja.]

I just told my DH that he was going to learn german with the kids. I want to speak more german in the house, but when DH is around it's hard because he doesn't speak it.

 

I'm also finding that my german is slipping. It's been 11 years since I've spoken and read German consistantly. I need to fix that! My first language was german, but we moved to the States when I was 8. At that point I only spoke english. My mom made no attempt to continue german with us. At 18 I moved to Germany, and learned german fairly quickly. Now that I'm in the States again I have to make sure I don't lose more than I already have.

 

 

To the OP, don't give up. When my first ds was born I only spoke german with him. When he was a toddler he spoke german and english. I got lazy and irritated that I always had to translate for DH. I stopped speaking german. DS lost it all. Now I'm starting from scratch with my kids. I regret letting the german slip.

Edited January 23, 2010 by Kleine Hexe

[Ester Maria]

It's very unlikely that your daughter will pick up your not so great pronounciation. Somehow they are able to figure out who to copy.

I speak English to my dc during schooling and they haven't picked up my accent at all (a sort of British, but not totally so version), they talk like their dad, who's a native speaker, even though they interact a lot less with him than with me.

I found that to be amazing, in our situation as well.

I speak English to them when we study English and several other subjects, and sometimes even during the non-school hours (though I try not to), their father never speaks English to them, and yet, they have perfect pronunciation and know the language just as well as Italian. :D

If we could spend some time living in Germany, that would probably help. I don't foresee that happening anytime soon though.

If you have family in Germany, or close friends, consider sending the kids there for the ENTIRE holidays, like two months in the summer, or two-three weeks in the winter, depending on when do you have holidays. Do it repeatedly over the course of years and absolutely require of everyone in Germany to speak and respond to German only. Short visits can NEVER do what a constant exposure to the language can do over the years.

It will do wonders, that's basically how we kept up with Italian when our daughters had "English only" phase - they CANNOT rely on people knowing English that well in Italy :D, so they were forced to use only Italian even in periods when they felt like talking only English.

 

Too bad that in Israel everybody speaks English and is more than willing to speak English to them when they come, it slowed down their progress with Hebrew A LOT when they were younger.

My son does, too. He switches to French when he wants to speak to me privately.

This rings a bell, I STILL have to remind my daughters quite often that it's impolite to just shift to Italian or Hebrew when we're among other people, because it's so obvious that they do it in order not to be understood. :D

The Europeans I've met haven't seemed shy about trying to speak a new language. Why? People from the US seem to be paralized by shyness.

-Nan

We start languages earlier, study multiple languages from early childhood, we generally come more in contact with foreign languages, and if you travel a few hundred kilometers you're usually in another country with another language already, thus a number of your friends, colleagues and relatives are also likely to speak other languages, etc. All of those, when combined, make you less shy because it's a common situation, while in the US people do tend to be somewhat paralyzed. That's a shame, you'll never learn if you don't try.

[Guest From LA]

Hello, I have a 2 1/2 that speaks both English and Spanish. She loves books and I think the best way to get them to learn a language, other than interaction with a native speaker is to read them lots of books in the second language. I speak to her in Spanish all the time and it was not until I started reading to her in Spanish that she started talking more in Spanish. My advice would be to get lots of kids books in Arabic! Before you know it she would be reciting them!

 

Take care!

[Nan in Mass]

Joining the French library was the key to my son learning French, too. Children's books allowed me, with my poor French, to give my son better, more varied input. I suddenly realized why reading to your children is pushed so heavily as a way to improve their language skills.

-Nan

[stripe]

I agree -- I've found for myself in English, it gave me other topics to discuss rather than just the regular, mundane things. And as From LA said, it does give your children little stories to go over with you.

 

I also read somewhere the recommendation to crack out the old photo albums and go through them with your children, telling stories and remembering what happened in them, treating them as a "picture book" in a way, instead of only reading someone else's story. I think it's an especially good technique to use with looking at people and places that your children may not see so often. It seems, for my kids at least, to be important to keep the memories fresh -- if they keep hearing about various, more distant relatives, they still remember them, but otherwise the memories fade. This is especially important if you have fewer books in your second language than you like, in my opinion.

[Nan in Mass]

That is a good idea, but would have been much more difficult for me because I'm not fluent in French. It might have worked better for encouraging conversation, though.