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Please talk to me about forgiveness (CC)


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How would you counsel someone about forgiveness this holiday season for a person holding onto anger and resentment, assuming this person asked for your help? I'm looking for words of wisdom and scripture verses about grace and forgiveness. This person has alot of bottled up resentment, and I so want to convey the beauty and grace of our Lord and how sometimes we need extend that grace to others and reep the rewards, but I just don't know how to formulate the words.

 

Please, anything; scripture verses, quotes, wise words are all welcome.

 

Blessings,

Lisa

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I've been thinking about this a lot, and thinking about the position that the person who is asked to forgive is in...

 

I am currently in a position to forgive someone who needs forgiveness, someone who has hurt me very much. What makes me angry about it is, sure, I can forgive this person, but what I REALLY want is for it to have never happened. And this is the desire that I can't seem to let go of.

 

But in the middle of the night recently, the thought occurred to me (and I believe this thought was from God) that of the two of us (me, the forgiver, and the one who needs forgiveness from me), I am the only one who can make it "as though it had never happened." Obviously, some situations will be harder than others. But I can, if I really want to, just let go and move on with the relationship. I can stop holding it against the other, and in a very powerful way, get what I want too, which is to make it not have power over me or influence my choices, which, in essence, makes it as though it never happened.

 

That was a really powerful thought to me. Now...do I have the courage to just let it go?

 

Hope this makes sense...I can't seem to articulate it the way it came to me that night.

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This blog, written by an Orthodox priest, is my home page and it was about forgiveness recently. I've linked the specific entry. Forgiveness is so important in the Christian life, so I find I lean into the words of someone I see as a true shepherd in this sense. What he writes is very challenging.

Edited by milovaný
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I always remember what a good friend said to me once.

Anger and bitterness are like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person.

 

I don't really know what to tell you as far as counseling another person in this regard. If the person is a Christian and at all aware of what Scripture says they know they SHOULD forgive. I always KNEW what I was supposed to do. Doing it was a different matter.

 

I think maybe a place to start is just to pray that God would give them a willingness to forgive. I would probably ask if they are willing to start there.

 

The simple fact is that the pain of staying the same has to become greater than the pain of change. Holding on to that anger has to become so painful that they would rather forgive then hold on to it any longer. For a long time, it felt like a betrayal of myself to forgive that person. I had to come to the painful realization that my anger about the past was impacting my children and those that I loved before I could really forgive.

 

And I'll say that I really believe forgiveness is a daily act of my will. It wasn't a one time event. It wasn't like I dumped the load off at the altar and never picked it up again. I have days when I choose to leave it at the altar and other days when I try to pick it up again. By God's grace, the days I choose to pick it up are becoming less and less frequent.

Edited by Daisy
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I heard a speaker on a CD say that forgiveness is willingly paying the price for another person's sin. That hit me like a ton of bricks, and I mentally began going over the list of people that I don't want to forgive. I must bear the burden of their sin against me because Christ bore the burden of my sins.

 

Put into that light, I'm almost happy to do it because it allows me to suffer with Him. I can understand Christ better because I'm suffering the way He suffered.

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