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What a horrid week. As most of you know on Saturday DS11 set my bed on fire. Monday morning CPS came knocking and placed the kids with my parents pending investigation. The kids came back home today, but CPS is not leaving our lives anytime soon. They claim leaving the kids inside the house while I shovelled outside in -30 temps was the same as leaving them home alone to go shopping etc. I got the mess that was here from our bout of illness and the fire mess all cleaned up by Wednesday night. The worker came by yesterday and was surprised at how fast it was. I told her it looked worse than it actually was. She went to my folks yesterday and interviewed the kids and my mom. They have said the kids are safe here and I did not abuse/neglect them, however they are going to be doing random drop ins to check up on us for a little while. They still weren't going to offer any help with DS11, I have requested some extra services for him, but they claim there is not much they can do.

 

Right now, they are talking about forcing the kids back into ps, and all 4 into daycare(the older 3 into after school care and baby into daycare), claiming it would give me a break during the day. I have told them that the kids were not going to daycare and I will fight them tooth and nail about the ps. We just had our assessment from our school board 2 weeks ago and we passed it, the kids are doing fine, so it is not a situation of them not getting educated at home. They are also claiming that I am not allowed to keep breastfeeding or cosleeping with baby girl. Again I told them they couldn't control that.

 

The stupid thing in all of this, is even though they put the kids with my folks I was allowed to see them as I pleased and to sleep over at my mom's with them. I spent the majority of the daytime cleaning up from the fire mess for the first half of the week, yesterday I had to hang out here alone while they were all interviewed at my mom's. This whole thing has made my relationship worse with my mom, ds11 overheard her bad mouthing me on the phone to her friend and was very hurt that the grandma he loved and trusted would be talking about me like that. Baby girl had an allergic reaction to something so her whole face is bright red and now peeling, she didn't call me or the dr or use benedryl or anything. Baby girl also has a bad diaper rash because my mom wasn't changing her diapers very often and she has a bright red pinch mark on her arm(one that looks like a little hickey right above the crook of her elbow) that no one can explain to me. Last night I put ds6 to bed, and was nursing dd2 to sleep when suddenly my dad went and hauled sleeping ds out of bed yelling at him because he left his socks on my parents bedroom floor and when ds6 wasn't moving fast enough to pick them up my dad yelled at him some more.

 

This whole thing is a huge nightmare. Having to go through all of this, the kids placed with my folks traumatized them more, Ds11 is still not getting any help. My career is totally catput, the kids have been scared all day that the worker was going to come back and make them leave again. And now we have the upcoming battle about school etc. Anyway, that is what I have been dealing with this week, and that is just the beginning. All I have to say is I am glad the kids are home were they belong, and this upcoming move can not happen soon enough. THe worker knows we are moving and seems happy for us and doesn't seem like she will do anything to hinder it. Based on the incidents with my folks, and some comments from my brother we are no longer waiting for August, but will be moving in April or so as soon as we receive the $$ I am waiting on to fund the move.

 

Hopefully sooner rather than later this whole investigation will be over with and we can get on with our lives.

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wow, what a mess. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I take for granted all that my husband does, your situation tells me this. I can't imagine going through it alone,a nd I'm really sorry for you. I'm also sorry for the treatment your kids have received by your parents.

 

One thing that puzzles me - why the issues with co-sleeping and continued breastfeeding? Honestly?

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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wow, what a mess. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I take for granted all that my husband does, your situation tells me this. I can't imagine going through it alone,a nd I'm really sorry for you. I'm also sorry for the treatment your kids have received by your parents.

 

One thing that puzzles me - why the issues with co-sleeping and continued breastfeeding? Honestly?

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

She claims that since dd is 2 now I must be doing those things for my own benefit and not my dd. DD cried almost the whole time she was with grandma, she has only been without me for like 1-2 hours tops. The worker claims if I weaned her and made her sleep in her own bed, she would learn some independence and be fine without me. Hmmm, NO. SHe is 2 she should not have to be without me. And to me forcing those things on her would be selfish, because it would be merely to make getting a sitter easier, not because it is best for dd.

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:grouphug: :grouphug: I'm sorry you are having to deal with all that. Glad the kids are back home with you.

 

I see you are in Canada so I'm not sure if this available to you or not. Could you sign your son(11) up for the Big Brother/Big Sister program? Here is the website for Canada.

 

:grouphug:

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Back at the end of August, I called 911 for an emergency with my youngest son...CPS is horrid...It was an awful experience and once I read the final report, well, humilitating is the first word that comes to mind...I also know a neighbor of mine was found neglectful because she walked outside to make a phone call to the police...It turned out that she had to see her front door when making the call and she couldn't...I am so sorry you are going through this...I finally moved out of the county and they are off of my backs but I totally understand what you are going through...My neighbor is also seeking a new county to move to as well...I hope this all calms down soon...

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:grouphug: :grouphug: I'm sorry you are having to deal with all that. Glad the kids are back home with you.

 

I see you are in Canada so I'm not sure if this available to you or not. Could you sign your son(11) up for the Big Brother/Big Sister program? Here is the website for Canada.

 

:grouphug:

 

I had already signed the 3 oldest ones up for uncles and aunts at large which is similar. Like big brothers they have a 2-3 yr wait list but they take kids up to 16 where as ds and dd would age out with big brothers before they ever got a match. We had our intake interview here at the house 1 week before the fire so CPS called them to confirm that the house had in fact been clean and that the mess was a short term thing due to illness and fire (and the flood dd2 created on Sunday night but that is another story). So for now the kids will do the group activities that uncles and aunts at large offer to help the kids who are waiting for a 1-on-1 mentor.

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:grouphug: Wow. That's the biggest lot of crap I've heard in ages. :grouphug:

Accuse you of neglecting your kids, then try to force you to neglect them in other way, for their own good? I could think of many nasty things to say about that, but they should not be put in writing... Can you get your breastfeeding association to support you about continuing to feed your two year old? Crazy people. I'm still feeding my two year old on and off, and I am very sure it isn't for my benefit. What nutcases.

 

Rosie

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That sounds horrible.

 

If the breastfeeding continues to be an issue, perhaps printing the WHO statement off of their website could help.

 

Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. A recent review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants. Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.

 

WHO link

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I'm so sorry things are difficult.

You rock, Swellmomma. I always look forward to your posts, because I KNOW you will persevere, you will look for the good, you will show grit and determination rarely found--this community values you, your opinions, and your tenacity in the face of obstacles. YOU love your family, and it shines thru each and every post. :grouphug:

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I'm so sorry things are difficult.

You rock, Swellmomma. I always look forward to your posts, because I KNOW you will persevere, you will look for the good, you will show grit and determination rarely found--this community values you, your opinions, and your tenacity in the face of obstacles. YOU love your family, and it shines thru each and every post. :grouphug:

 

What she said...:grouphug:

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I'm so sorry things are difficult.

You rock, Swellmomma. I always look forward to your posts, because I KNOW you will persevere, you will look for the good, you will show grit and determination rarely found--this community values you, your opinions, and your tenacity in the face of obstacles. YOU love your family, and it shines thru each and every post. :grouphug:

 

Omgosh, that is the sweetest thing you could have said and it really brightened my day. I try to see the good in things because if I didn't I would have a complete nervous breakdown. 2009 has been pretty much the worst year ever, and hearing(reading) you say that really gives me the boost I needed because I don't hear stuff like that irl. I am really looking forward to 2010 and leaving this horrible year behind.

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I'm so sorry things are difficult.

You rock, Swellmomma. I always look forward to your posts, because I KNOW you will persevere, you will look for the good, you will show grit and determination rarely found--this community values you, your opinions, and your tenacity in the face of obstacles. YOU love your family, and it shines thru each and every post. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

 

Brandy, can I just add, I feel the same way.

 

Lots of times, I read your posts, and think something like 'Wow, that lady has a lot more determination than I do!'. I mean, there are days when I feel like giving up, and I don't have one tenth the things to contend with that you do.

 

Blessings to you and your children; they really do seem to be blessed to have you. :grouphug:

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I had already signed the 3 oldest ones up for uncles and aunts at large which is similar. Like big brothers they have a 2-3 yr wait list but they take kids up to 16 where as ds and dd would age out with big brothers before they ever got a match. We had our intake interview here at the house 1 week before the fire so CPS called them to confirm that the house had in fact been clean and that the mess was a short term thing due to illness and fire (and the flood dd2 created on Sunday night but that is another story). So for now the kids will do the group activities that uncles and aunts at large offer to help the kids who are waiting for a 1-on-1 mentor.

 

Wow, that's a long time to have to wait. That's too bad.

I hope they can match them up sooner than that.

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