lovetobehome Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Hubby and I have decided we need to brush up on our communication skills and work at improving things in our relationship. We'd like to start by reading a book together. Any ideas? I am clueless. Christian perspective preferred... THANKS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Hubby and I have decided we need to brush up on our communication skills and work at improving things in our relationship. We'd like to start by reading a book together. Any ideas? I am clueless. Christian perspective preferred...THANKS! We loved the Love & Respect book by Emerson Eggerich. Very insightful in many ways. I like your avatar -- I have that icon in my bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 We loved the Love & Respect book by Emerson Eggerich. Very insightful in many ways. I like your avatar -- I have that icon in my bedroom. :iagree: Our sunday school just finished a study using this book. Very insightful and Bible-based. Although, my dh (who is a VERY manly man!) still thinks there was too much touchy-feely stuff for his taste. I didn't think so, but then again, I'm a woman! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LynnG in Arizona Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 His Needs, Her Needs is fantastic. It is specifically written for both the husband and wife, and manages to "get into the head" of both males and females. HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 http://www.amazon.com/Why-Marriages-Succeed-Fail-Yours/dp/0684802414 and the others listed on this page. My favourite is this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 duplicate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 His Needs, Her needs. saved my marriage!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 His Needs, Her needs.:iagree: They have a website as well - marriagebuilders.com It saved our marriage. Another good one is "5 love languages" Oh, and "The power of praying wife" and "Praying through the deeper issues of marriage" are wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovetobehome Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 Thank you so much, dear friends! This is so encouraging! I am giving him the links to the books, and he gets to decide which he would like us to use. I figure that way he will be more 'on board' with it all. After 12 years of marriage and 3 kids, I think we need a little work.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I really like The Five Love Languages. It really helped me to see when my husband was saying "I love you" in his love language, even when it wasn't in mine. It made a huge difference in my perception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 http://www.amazon.com/Why-Marriages-Succeed-Fail-Yours/dp/0684802414 and the others listed on this page. My favourite is this one. This. Gottman is fantastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Recommended by my mother - a minister who has completed a master's degree in Family Life Counseling: A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for your Marriage - Scott Stanley Her comments: really good research & practical advice including "speaker-listener technique" and from a really responsible Christian perspective (egalitarian marriage...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 For Women Only- http://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-about-Inner-Lives/dp/1590523172/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259811805&sr=8-2 For Men Only- http://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Straightforward-Guide-Inner/dp/1590525728/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259811805&sr=8-1 Very good guides to how men and women think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 5 Love Languages is one of my absolute favorites! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 The Marriage Builder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 In addition to those above (love Gottman, btw): I Married You Not Your Family, and Nine Other Myths That Will Ruin Your Marriage and Your Life. It is very specifically Christian and the author is heavy on personal responsibility. I think it's one of the best on the subject. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 We have read through the 5 love languages 3 times together. It's amazing to see how our languages have changed over the 13 years we've been together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I liked the love languages book. I agree that Gottman is terrific. My Professor (a Christian Marriage and Family Counselor and Pastor) recommends Dr. Larry Crabb frequently. (Of marriagebuilders fame). I havre only read one book of his, from a counseling perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girligirlmom Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 For Women Only- http://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-about-Inner-Lives/dp/1590523172/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259811805&sr=8-2For Men Only- http://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Straightforward-Guide-Inner/dp/1590525728/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259811805&sr=8-1 Very good guides to how men and women think. I highly recommend For Women Only and For Men Only. It really changed our marriage. I did For Women Only as a DVD Bible Study at my church 2 years in a row (each Spring) and after the second time I asked dh if he would listen to the audio cds during his travels. He did and came home and wow what a difference! I believe he was willing to listen to them since he had seen a change in me. If we each change ourselves and focus on what our spouse needs, we can really affect our marriage! When we try to get our spouse to "change" or "improve" we really get stuck. We've been together since Feb 1990 and were married in Oct 1993, so we are doing something right. Could we improve? Absolutely. When I stop being selfish and more giving things improve and vice versa. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 We loved the Love & Respect book by Emerson Eggerich. Very insightful in many ways. :iagree: I also suggest Paul Tripp's "What Did You Expect?" The book itself isn't out yet, but if its anything like his conference by the same title, it'll change your marriage. http://www.amazon.com/What-Did-You-Expect-Redeeming/dp/1433511762/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259817065&sr=8-1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 His Needs, Her Needs is fantastic. It is specifically written for both the husband and wife, and manages to "get into the head" of both males and females. HTH. Anything by this author, Willard Harley, is fantastic. I have read tons of books, and this is the one my ds actually read and liked too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) This is my favorite book! A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0787939838/ref=oss_T15_product I personally tired of all of the marriage books that dwelled on husbands loving and wives respecting. I wanted a book that encouraged both husbands and wives to love and respect. Moreover, I wanted a book that taught communication. Oh, I also tired of stereotypes. You know, the ones that enlighten us that men are logical and want solutions while women are emotional and are simply seeking someone to listen to them. Edited December 3, 2009 by nestof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I loved 5 Love Languages. DH, who read it at my request, thought it was 100 pages too long and dull. It definitely helped me to realize when DH was trying to show he loved me and I just didn't realize it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Boundaries in Marriage by Drs. Cloud and Townsend saved our marriage. They have a lot of great resources, not just for marriage. If you have any codependency issues I highly recommend them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 My local PBS station is having the 5 love languages author on during pledge week. Check your local listings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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