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I need a mil thread...


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I have the best one on earth, so when she bugs me, I feel sooooooooo guilty.

 

But to a nice day-long visit, she'll throw in things like...

 

"So are you going to have your tubes tied?"

 

"People find it hard to believe your dh has low T, sinc you have 4 dc."

 

"GOD, I hope you don't have more kids!"

 

She just stopped by for 20 min or so, & I'm still a little shocked from Thanksgiving. Somehow...she just makes me feel. so. small. And then I feel even worse because I know she doesn't mean to. I can tell how hard she's trying to make me know that she cares about me, us, etc., so I wish I could just take what she *means* & forget what she *says.* LOL--it's hard sometimes.

 

Fil asked dh to help w/ worship at a church on Sun, & dh agreed w/out asking any questions (or me!)--today I find out that this will mean a 3hr Sat rehearsal on top of church on finals weekend AND we can't feasibly go w/ him (to church). It's something new in a storefront, being filmed for tv, no nursery, etc. But fil, laid back guy that he is, said it would be fine. He & mil would be there to help. (Nevermind the fact that he & dh will be on stage singing, right?) BUT if the babies start crying, I'll need to take them out to the (cold) sidewalk. Because there's nowhere else to go & it is, after all, being filmed for TV. :001_huh:

 

So I get another day by myself w/ the kids (1/2 Sat, 1/2 Sun, plus study time for finals, plus time to argue about something meaningless because I'm all tense & cranky about the weekend schedule). :D Oh, the joy.

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I love my MIL very much. In the past , at times, she WAS very trying. Lots of comments sometimes. And she would get this "look" that had DISAPPROVAL written all over it! And.... they would come visit for 2, 3 , FOUR weeks at a time!!!! One time, they didn't even tell us they were coming! Other times, they would call the night before.

 

NOW...... I am very sad to say that MIL has alzhiemer's.

 

I spent all weekend cooking and freezing food at their house. My sis in law and myself did most all the cooking for Thanksgiving. MIL hasn't cleaned house in months... maybe even a year. She can still clean her kitchen and will clean for hours at a time. I told dh that I'm going to have to go clean the rest of her house at least once a month. (and she used to be so critical of my house cleaning.)

 

BUT... she is so funny now. She understands her jokes and is laughing and smiling. That disappointment look is long gone. I think she thought that being happy was a sin or something all her life.

 

Anyway.... I wish now that I would have let those comments roll off my back. I wish I would have handled many things differently.

 

If you do love your MIL, then just enjoy loving her the best you can!

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I love my MIL very much. In the past , at times, she WAS very trying. Lots of comments sometimes. And she would get this "look" that had DISAPPROVAL written all over it! And.... they would come visit for 2, 3 , FOUR weeks at a time!!!! One time, they didn't even tell us they were coming! Other times, they would call the night before.

 

NOW...... I am very sad to say that MIL has alzhiemer's.

 

I spent all weekend cooking and freezing food at their house. My sis in law and myself did most all the cooking for Thanksgiving. MIL hasn't cleaned house in months... maybe even a year. She can still clean her kitchen and will clean for hours at a time. I told dh that I'm going to have to go clean the rest of her house at least once a month. (and she used to be so critical of my house cleaning.)

 

BUT... she is so funny now. She understands her jokes and is laughing and smiling. That disappointment look is long gone. I think she thought that being happy was a sin or something all her life.

 

Anyway.... I wish now that I would have let those comments roll off my back. I wish I would have handled many things differently.

 

If you do love your MIL, then just enjoy loving her the best you can!

 

:iagree:

 

My MIL was the same way - she'd say things that sounded really bad and get that disapproving look at times. Overall, though our relationship was good because she said I was the daughter she never had.

 

She died suddenly 7 years ago this month. I would do anything to have my other dc (the 7yo on down) know her. Even though she would've hated our homeschooling and been less than supportive about the number of dc we have.

 

So, just keep thinking about how much she loves you and try to remember that she means well.

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:iagree:

 

My MIL was the same way - she'd say things that sounded really bad and get that disapproving look at times. Overall, though our relationship was good because she said I was the daughter she never had.

 

She died suddenly 7 years ago this month. I would do anything to have my other dc (the 7yo on down) know her. Even though she would've hated our homeschooling and been less than supportive about the number of dc we have.

 

So, just keep thinking about how much she loves you and try to remember that she means well.

 

Whoa. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you--the thought of losing mil really changed my perspective. And you know, she always gets snippy when she's stressed, & she's been under a lot of pressure lately. Maybe I could think of something nice to do for her....:001_smile:

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