Confession Thread #2

[Impish]

I started this months ago, originally. Like the random vent thread, it can be serious, funny, light...whatever strikes your fancy.

 

Here's mine, for the moment, in no particular order:

 

 

• I wish my dh would find a permanent position, rather than working seasonally. It means he's laid off right before Christmas every year, and it makes things incredibly stressful.
  
• I wish I didn't have RSD.
  
• I wish WCB (Workers Compensation Board) would listen to the Drs already and realize I'm forever disabled, unable to work. I mean, EVERY SINGLE DOCTOR. Not just one. All of them agree.
  
• My hair is shorter now than its been in over two decades. It was needed, it was a complete mess. But I can't wait until its to my waist again!
  
• I'm going for an incredible haircut tomorrow, for strictly shaping and styling (layers, etc). And scared to death.
  
• I wish I had a Hallmark family, so my kids could play with grandparents, cousins, etc.
  
• I wish I could let loose my God given talent, and not let fear hold me back.
  
  

 

[Crissy]

I wish I could love the fact that at this point in my life my job is to take care of and work for everyone else.

 

I wish I was as happy as I always thought I would be about turning 40 in the coming year.

[Soph the vet]

OK,

 

I still use my lead-laden Rival Crockpot and I don't have any plans to get rid of it....there....I said it...I feel soooo much better.

 

:lol:

[LibraryLover]

I wish I could shower as soon as I wake up in the morning. I need at least an hour, otherwise I don't feel as though I have showered.

 

I wish that I was better able to show my dh how much I appeciate how hard he works. He says he feels appreciated, but he seems to work so hard....not sure exactly what I mean.

[LibraryLover]

lol Good for you. Mine is so nice....and I can't get rid of it. But I never use it. It's so pretty and clean and stainless. I just can't. I don't know what to do with it, however.

 

OK,

 

I still use my lead-laden Rival Crockpot and I don't have any plans to get rid of it....there....I said it...I feel soooo much better.

 

:lol:

[Daisy]

* I've typed out a reply to this thread and deleted three times.

 

* I wish I was getting what I wanted for Christmas but feel guilty & selfish for even thinking that.

 

* I wish the UPS man would come on the days when I'm fully dressed rather than the ONE day I stay in pajamas.

 

* I go through periodic seasons of my life when I push everyone away and hide in my house. I wonder if anyone even notices.

 

* I haven't been to the gyn in over 7years. If my Mother knew that she would give me the lecture of my life.

 

* I hate, hate, hate board games. My children will never know, but it feels so good to just let it out. LOL.

[Susan in KY]

I buy my own Christmas gifts and wrap them and put them under the tree. :-) This year, it's a pouring shield for my mixer and a shower brush. I also got some other kitchen stuff I'm not bothering to wrap but am looking forward to using!

 

It worked very well last year when I wrapped up my portable, insulated Pyrex set (AND got to use it once before I put it under the tree). I was delighted that I felt neither guilt nor resentment while getting exactly what I wanted.

 

I really enjoyed shopping for myself this year and choosing what I wanted and needed and got a deal to boot. Yay!

 

I feel a bit like a dork for being so happy about this arrangement.

 

:-)

[Impish]

 

• I loathe board games too, and am so relieved that another mom feels that way! :lol:
  
• I want to go to bed. NOW. I hurt. Littles don't go to bed for another hour though.
  
• There are times when I think Diva would be better off at school, because sometimes the relationship with her and the Littles can be so negative. Then MY relationship with her gets negative, because I'm constantly nagging at her not to tease the crap out of the Littles, Tazzie especially.
  
• I cry about the fact that the Littles won't remember me as anything but disabled.
  
• I cry about everything RSD has cost me, my husband, my children.
  
• I *want* to be able to just be grateful for everything I still can do, but I live in fear that RSD is/can spread, and wonder what I might lose next, instead of being grateful for what I have now.
  
• I'm so different than the person I was last year at this time. It shocks and awes me, and makes me wonder who I might be NEXT year at this time.
  
  

 

[elegantlion]

Okay, confession is good for the soul, right? :D

 

- I sometimes wish my dh had a 9 to 5 job where he wouldn't come home exhausted.

- I've lain around in bed all weekend because I don't feel good. My boys went to the grocery and have taken care of the house and I don't feel guilty at all.

- I went on shopping on Friday, only had a few bucks, and spent it all on me. Okay I got a sweater and a t-shirt, not a huge amount.

- I spend too much time thinking of teaching high school, and my son is in 6th grade.

[joannqn]

DH is buying me the game, Bop It, for Christmas. I know because I bought it while I was out shopping on Friday. I've wanted this game for YEARS.

[Susan in KY]

• I cry about the fact that the Littles won't remember me as anything but disabled.
  
• I cry about everything RSD has cost me, my husband, my children.
  
• I *want* to be able to just be grateful for everything I still can do, but I live in fear that RSD is/can spread, and wonder what I might lose next, instead of being grateful for what I have now.
  

 

Thought this was an interesting testimony about RSD. You may be interested in it, too.

http://www.rsds.org/4/stories/jane_olaughlin.html

[Crissy]

• I cry about the fact that the Littles won't remember me as anything but disabled.
  

 

:crying:

:grouphug:

[Pippen]

I hate housework.

 

I wish I liked more veggies. I'm one of those supertasters and a lot of that green stuff tastes nasty to me.

 

I have a Master's degree in Curriculum & Instruction, along with experience teaching all of the major sciences at the high school level, and Bill Nye is doing much of the instruction to my homeschooled 5th grader this year because she responds to him better. :glare: I just fill in the gaps and do labs.

 

Did I mention that I hate housework?

[Mommyfaithe]

~~I am frustrated because I do not know how to make things better....

I am frustrated because we fire a jerk...he goes out on unemployment after NOT doing a lick of work for weeks, arguing on the cell with his girlfriend for hours at work, and then he denies it...and the Unemployment board believes him....so we have to pay higher rates so he can stay home on our dime....and thanks to our very intelligent government...he can do it for 18 more weeks!

 

~~ I am frustrated because my husband works so hard to support us ...and I do too...and the government takes 1/3 of our money....to pay for other people to sit by the pool all summer with their kids.

 

~~I am frustrated because we have worked all of our lives and have nothing to show for it.

 

~~I am frustrated because I am not smart enough...or I am just too tired to think us out of this mess.

 

~~I am frustrated that my kids forget WHY we homeschooled them....

 

~~I am frustrated because if my husband decided to crap out on me...I would not have any idea what to do. I hate dependency...yet here I am....dependent.

 

~~I am frustrrated because no good deed ever goes unpunished

 

~~I am frustrated because I try to hold this all in....all the time....but every once in a while I explode...and everyone thinks I am NUTS.

 

~~I am frustrated because my mother---who neglected me and my brother--expects me to drop everything ...at any given time...to take care of her.

 

~~I am frustrated because I do not have the money to do the things I want to do.

 

~~I am frustrated because I do not have the education needed to change our situation...because my parents would not allow me to finish college....

 

~~I am frustrated because I feel really sorry for my husband who needs to carry this burden....I do everything I can to lighten it for him...but it is never enough.

 

~~I am frustrated because I see so many younger families in nice houses...with nice cars...and everything they could want for their kids...and their dh's are making much buckos...AND they are happy! I want to be happy too.

 

~~I am frustrated because I feel like a whiny brat because I feel like we are deserving of something after working so hard for 25 years...

 

~~I am frustrated because I know I should be grateful and thankful, but right now I just feel pissed....

 

~~I probably shouldn't post this...but I will anyway...because I am just needing to get this off my chest. Then I can put my smile back on my face and pretend it is well with my soul

 

~~I usually like these posts because I can laugh at myself...and with you all...but quite honestly...I don't feel much like laughing these days...

 

Sorry...this got longer than I wished...But I am fessing up tonight~!

 

~~Faithe...who could fess up a whole lot more, but will spare you....)

[Impish]

~~I am frustrated because I do not know how to make things better....

I am frustrated because we fire a jerk...he goes out on unemployment after NOT doing a lick of work for weeks, arguing on the cell with his girlfriend for hours at work, and then he denies it...and the Unemployment board believes him....so we have to pay higher rates so he can stay home on our dime....and thanks to our very intelligent government...he can do it for 18 more weeks!

 

~~ I am frustrated because my husband works so hard to support us ...and I do too...and the government takes 1/3 of our money....to pay for other people to sit by the pool all summer with their kids.

 

~~I am frustrated because we have worked all of our lives and have nothing to show for it.

 

~~I am frustrated because I am not smart enough...or I am just too tired to think us out of this mess.

 

~~I am frustrated that my kids forget WHY we homeschooled them....

 

~~I am frustrated because if my husband decided to crap out on me...I would not have any idea what to do. I hate dependency...yet here I am....dependent.

 

~~I am frustrrated because no good deed ever goes unpunished

 

~~I am frustrated because I try to hold this all in....all the time....but every once in a while I explode...and everyone thinks I am NUTS.

 

~~I am frustrated because my mother---who neglected me and my brother--expects me to drop everything ...at any given time...to take care of her.

 

~~I am frustrated because I do not have the money to do the things I want to do.

 

~~I am frustrated because I do not have the education needed to change our situation...because my parents would not allow me to finish college....

 

~~I am frustrated because I feel really sorry for my husband who needs to carry this burden....I do everything I can to lighten it for him...but it is never enough.

 

~~I am frustrated because I see so many younger families in nice houses...with nice cars...and everything they could want for their kids...and their dh's are making much buckos...AND they are happy! I want to be happy too.

 

~~I am frustrated because I feel like a whiny brat because I feel like we are deserving of something after working so hard for 25 years...

 

~~I am frustrated because I know I should be grateful and thankful, but right now I just feel pissed....

 

~~I probably shouldn't post this...but I will anyway...because I am just needing to get this off my chest. Then I can put my smile back on my face and pretend it is well with my soul

 

~~I usually like these posts because I can laugh at myself...and with you all...but quite honestly...I don't feel much like laughing these days...

 

Sorry...this got longer than I wished...But I am fessing up tonight~!

 

~~Faithe...who could fess up a whole lot more, but will spare you....)

Fess whatever you need to, Faithe, be it here or PM me. I'll listen. :grouphug:

[Crissy]

~~I am frustrated because...

 

:grouphug:

[scrapbabe]

Ok I have to chime in here. Cause the last poster said a lot of things I am feeling.

 

I spent the past year resenting my dh because he left a great job to pick up the family and move to a new place and start our own business. I'm over it now - but I was really angry at him. We had a good life.

 

I also spent the past year working fulltime plus every week to help him build his business and hating every minute of it. But I'm not moving past that one too.

 

I am sad that because I've spent so much time working for the business homeschooling got pushed aside, and I am now enrolling my kids in a private school. The private school is small and just what I would have wanted - but I'm sad about giving up homeschooling.

 

I want to be grateful for what I have, but after fighting thyroid cancer this fall I am tired, wiped out, and don't feel like me at all.

 

I'm sad that being tired keeps me from do the things I love - homeschooling, exercising, keeping the house clean, ernegy for kids, etc.

 

We have put a lot of money on credit cards this past year as we grew our business, and I hate that feeling.

 

I really like eating chocolate - know that I shouldn't - but indulge in it daily!

 

I love cheesy, sappy love story movies. I like movies that don't require me to think too hard or have emotions. I cry a lot all on my own - don't need a movie to do that.

 

I love having 3 boys and NO girls!

 

I bought my kids a Wii for Christmas and I hate them playing video games!

 

I want to run away and live in a cabin near a beach for a year and just find myself.

 

I am not the same person I was a year ago - and sometimes miss the old me.

 

I live in a tiny apartment and hate it! I want a nice house and money to live comfortably!

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Smiles,

Shalynn

[Sugarfoot]

I just spent too much money for custom stamps with a photo of my kids on them to put on our Christmas cards.

 

Mine seems trivial. :grouphug: to everyone.

[Impish]

I just spent too much money for custom stamps with a photo of my kids on them to put on our Christmas cards.

 

Mine seems trivial. :grouphug: to everyone.

That's the point of this thread...any confession anyone needs to make, be it a big or little, serious or joking...anything. No confession is any more important than another, its a place to let loose with whatever.

:grouphug: to you. I don't want anyone not to feel welcomed in this thread, for any reason :grouphug:

[Impish]

My last confession for the night:

 

The Littles are in bed, and I'm heading there now. Night all!

[fivetails]

Confessions eh?

 

* dd12 and I went to see New Moon today, for the second time, and we could both go for a third...fourth...maybe more... again easily. :lol:

 

* I'm cheating on my beloved Firefox. I've been having issues with it lately and rather than solve them, I'm using Chrome.

 

* My stairs desperately need vacuuming. I promised myself I'd do them this afternoon, but...well, see #1!

 

* Sometimes, my kids have alphagetti for lunch. Sometimes, we ALL have alphagetti for lunch cuz we like it.

 

* One of the windows in our living room is wearing a fuzzy yellow bedsheet for a curtain.

 

* I'm afraid of freshwater lakes. They look...weird.

 

* I miss my ocean!

[Happy]

I'm tired of being on the edge financially all the time. No matter how hard we try or how much Dave Ramsey, we do, the aviation industry kicks us in the teeth a lot.

 

I'm tired of my sons not finding a passion for anything but video games and pretty girls. ;)

 

I'm tired of extended family treating me and mine like we aren't important to their lives.

 

I'm tired of life being hard too much of the time.

 

I'm really, really tired of church with all it's drama and dust ups.

 

I'm ready for my turn to do some things I've dreamed of doing, but real life may derail those plans--again.

 

And I'm still using my Rival Crockpot, too.

[jazzyfizzle]

I buy my own Christmas gifts and wrap them and put them under the tree. :-) This year, it's a pouring shield for my mixer and a shower brush. I also got some other kitchen stuff I'm not bothering to wrap but am looking forward to using!

 

It worked very well last year when I wrapped up my portable, insulated Pyrex set (AND got to use it once before I put it under the tree). I was delighted that I felt neither guilt nor resentment while getting exactly what I wanted.

 

 

 

:-)

 

 

LOVE it!! :thumbup1:

 

One year, one of the kids asked me why Santa never put anything in my stocking (I always put gifts in DH's stocking, and our dogs have a stocking LOL), so mine was always the only empty one hanging there on Christmas morning.

 

 

NOW when I see something smallish that I really want, Santa buys it for me :D and just happens to put it in my sock! What joyous joy!!

Love your idea, I think I will branch out and add that in to Santa's offering!!:D

Edited November 30, 2009 by jazzyfizzle

[caitlinsmom]

I wish everyone I knew was not going into labor 1 month early while I continue to puff up like the state puff marshmellow man!!

 

I am tired of feeling kicks in my cerivx that make me want to wet myself! Talk about violating!!

 

I would love for just one day, my house to stay clean, my kids to stay clean, and everything to smell nice. Instead it all smells like dog as of late.

 

I love spending time with my dh however I do wish we actually had money these days.

 

I want to bag college. I am sick of all the dumb little things that are required. I am an adult and think like one, these classes are mind numbing! I am mad that I have to go one more semester.

 

I am SICK AND TIRED of getting so dizzy that I have to lie down on a cold surface until it passes.

[Michelle My Bell]

I confess, I put all my kids Christmas gifts on the Amazon Credit Card and plan to pay it off with our income tax return. I don't feel guilty at all either. LOL

 

I confess that I am not the wife I believe God want's me to be even though I know what He expects of me.

 

That's all your gettin' out of me!!

[Julie in CA]

#1. I cannot seem to pay off my Visa card. Ever. I bounce back and forth with a balance that is roughly 2 months of our income. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to catch that up. :001_unsure: At this point, my dh still thinks that I might be able to pay it off by the new year, but, umm...no. I'm getting nowhere.

 

#2. My dh is in a partnership with one of his brothers. Because of that, we've had to hire his brother's two sons. One of them is a terrible worker, but we cannot fire him. Not only that, but he recently got married, and now dh's brother is paying him even more. We have no jobs for any of our own 5 dc, because we already have the nephews, and we just can't support any more families. I hate it that dairy farming has been in my dh's family for hundreds of years, as far back as there are records, and that I've had to drum into my boys' heads that they cannot be dairy farmers because we have no place for them. {sob} I resent all of it, and can hardly speak to the nephew and his new wife (who now have the only extra house on our dairy) because I'm so brokenhearted on behalf of my own boys.

 

#3. I secretly wish I could pursue a formal degree from the French Culinary Institute It sounds like such fun, and then I would have the title to go with my job--pastry chef. Because I am self-trained, I cannot call myself that, even though that's the job I have. If I ever mentioned that IRL, my dh would be so hurt and angry at the idea that I'd choose a different life than what I have...

 

#4. I had a babysitter when I was about 3 years old (it's one of my earliest memories) who was a pedophile. He didn't hurt me, and I'm not traumatized, but I *know* that if he was bold enough to do as much as he did with me, that he's undoubtedly escalated to actually hurting children by now. I feel like I should be doing something about this, but after all these years, I cannot imagine telling my mother. My sister, who's three years older than I am, remembers the same things, but also hasn't acted on it. Almost 40 years have gone by...

 

Golly! I hope no one who knows me IRL ever reads this....:o

[Hedgehogs4]

i wish i was in the mood to make love more often than i am. :blush:

[momtoboys]

1. I wish we were better off financially.

2. I HATE board games also.

3. I'm a really "hands-off" mom. . I make my kids play w/ each other or by themselves a lot. I honestly hate to say this, but I don't enjoy playing playdough or kid's games or anything like that w/ my kids. I do it sometimes, but it's an effort. (I still spend time w/ them though.)

4. I waste WAY WAY WAY too much time online.

5. I hate dressing up. I wear pretty much jeans and a sweater everywhere, to church, to the store, wherever!

6. I am AWFUL at dealing w/ difficult issues. It takes me a long time.

7. I don't handle emotions well. I am not overemotional, I just kind of don't react at all a lot of the time.

8. I am very private about some things.

9. I am horribly opinionated about issues. . .and not afraid to show it.

10. I am not nearly as good of a Christian as I wish I were.

11. I sometimes daydream in church (although I try to pay attention).

12. I *HATE* domestic tasks like cooking, cleaning, etc.

 

I think i should stop here. . .LOL.

[Denise in Florida]

Here goes;

 

I weigh quite a bit more than I should but, after watching my mom follow one crazy fad diet after another, I refuse to do anything about it.

 

I have a wonderful husband who works very hard, but his new job pays less than his old one and we are slowly burying ourselves in debt. I feel guilty because I know other people must be able to manage their money better than I do.

 

One of my friends lost her college son in a car accident last week. I ache for her and pray for her family everyday. I feel guilty when I see my own college age daughter and am grateful she is here.

[swellmomma]

* I miss my ocean!

 

I'll say hello to it for you this summer when we get there lol

 

My confessions:

 

* I kept an overdue library book for an extra 2 weeks after I ran out of renewals because we were not done with it for Hunter's schooling. (it was due Nov 12, I returned it on Friday :o )

 

* I have been eating (and feeding the kids) absolute crap so much for the last months I have managed to gain nearly 10 lbs (and I wasn't exactly small to begin with)

 

* I was so depressed about the top info I bought pop and baked a garlic cheese melt thing I had in the freezer tonight.

 

* Tomorrow I am going grocery shopping for healthy food and starting over with proper nutrition for the family

 

* despite the major lbs I have to lose I know I will not exercise anytime soon, I hate exercise, so I hope just fixing the diet will be enough for the time being.

 

* I just paid for dd to take an extra tumbling class with her cheer team, even though i could have really used that money for xmas shopping.

 

* Even though I am uber excited for our big move I actually contemplated not moving just for the homeschool funding we get here in Alberta, I love that funding and all it allows me to purchase for the kids.

[elise1mds]

** I wish that I felt like a good mom to my son. He has Asperger's and challenges me every day in hundreds of ways. Right now I feel like I've been given more than I can handle. :sad:

 

** I am still not sure if I will be married in another year or two. Some things have to change and stay changed. I refuse to be miserable for years like my mother was. I need this to be a two-way street.

 

** I am the crazy cat lady. I honestly don't know what I'd do without my cats. Cat therapy is wonderful.

 

** I am glad to not be a member of a church. I am much happier with my faith that way.

 

** I am horribly addicted to Happy Aquarium and FarmVille on Facebook.

 

** I am horribly glad for this thread right now.

 

To those of you who are also going through tough times (or tougher!!!!), :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[sunshine]

I hate that all I do is cry lately and I'm so mad at God for taking my dd's fiance' away! There, I said it!

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am mad because I am unable to have the children that I have dreamed of having. It is a horrible ache that never goes away.

I hate people who tell me how lucky and thankful I should be and am because I have 3 children and should be happy with that.

I wonder if the fact that I cannot forget some things if that means I have not forgiven. I believe I have because I keep giving more chances not to do the same thing. Yet they do.

I am miserable in the town that I live in and have been since I moved here in 1984. I have always, always wanted to move.

I hate that all my family is dead including one of my daughters.

I hate feeling like I have no where to go, no family or friends, that I am stuck where I am because I am in such a dependent state.

I hate been dependent.

I really want to move to a little town on the coast. Anywhere in the world.

Edited November 30, 2009 by sunshine

[KidsHappen]

I HATE the holidays. I really do. Everything about them except for seeing family that doesn't live near by.

 

It is not going to break my heart terribly once all the children have moved out. I have been doing this for a long time now and I am tired. It will be nice to be retired.

 

I hope that once all the children are gone and we down size, I can afford a housekeeper and someone to do body maintenace for me (you know - hair, nails, waxing, etc.)

 

Finally, I hope I live long enough to read all the books I own.

[Cammie]

1. I wish we were better off financially.

2. I HATE board games also.

3. I'm a really "hands-off" mom. . I make my kids play w/ each other or by themselves a lot. I honestly hate to say this, but I don't enjoy playing playdough or kid's games or anything like that w/ my kids. I do it sometimes, but it's an effort. (I still spend time w/ them though.)

4. I waste WAY WAY WAY too much time online.

12. I *HATE* domestic tasks like cooking, cleaning, etc.

 

.

 

Momtoboys: I think we could be very good friends (and we could make our children play with each other!!)

[Cammie]

***Panicked about anyone IRL reading this so deleated, sorry.

[swellmomma]

** I wish that I felt like a good mom to my son. He has Asperger's and challenges me every day in hundreds of ways. Right now I feel like I've been given more than I can handle. :sad:

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I know that feeling all too well, if you read my guilt post the other day you would know how well I know that feeling.

[Avila]

I hate the holidays. All of them really. I am an introvert with a dysfunctional extended family (both mine and DH's), and I SUFFER through all of them for the sake of other people. I have depression that flares terribly from Halloween until New Years' Day, and this has a lot to do with it. I end up withdrawing and becoming a hermit, which I can't do this year and it is making me crazy. And I have horrible guilt that this is what my kids have as childhood memories of holidays.

 

I hate homeschooling. Well, at least this week I do. I think I hit the annual November wall. I don't know how I am going to make myself start school tomorrow. And I already took time off before Thanksgiving, so I really cannot take any more off until after Christmas.

 

My furnace is going out, and I spent all weekend cleaning up the mess in our basement so we could have someone in to look at it. That included having a meltdown with my family and rescheduling our Thanksgiving over three days to make all the food I bought because I couldn't manage it all at once.

 

I am overscheduled, and I really need to drop a few more outside activities, but it always feels selfish to admit that. And I am a coward, so dropping anything that anyone else is depending on me for is really hard. But I don't have enough time to do everything well, and I am behind in all aspects of my life except for school. Of course, it feels like school has taken over my life to accomplish that one.

 

I want desperately to take control back of my time and energy and be positive and not whine any more.

Edited November 30, 2009 by Asenik

[StephanieZ]

Ok I have to chime in here. Cause the last poster said a lot of things I am feeling.

 

I spent the past year resenting my dh because he left a great job to pick up the family and move to a new place and start our own business. I'm over it now - but I was really angry at him. We had a good life.

 

I also spent the past year working fulltime plus every week to help him build his business and hating every minute of it. But I'm not moving past that one too.

 

I am sad that because I've spent so much time working for the business homeschooling got pushed aside, and I am now enrolling my kids in a private school. The private school is small and just what I would have wanted - but I'm sad about giving up homeschooling.

 

I want to be grateful for what I have, but after fighting thyroid cancer this fall I am tired, wiped out, and don't feel like me at all.

 

I'm sad that being tired keeps me from do the things I love - homeschooling, exercising, keeping the house clean, ernegy for kids, etc.

 

We have put a lot of money on credit cards this past year as we grew our business, and I hate that feeling.

 

. . .

 

I am not the same person I was a year ago - and sometimes miss the old me.

 

I live in a tiny apartment and hate it! I want a nice house and money to live comfortably!

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Smiles,

Shalynn

 

:grouphug: It is remarkable for me to read the posts of other women who are going/have gone through the dh-running-own-(dream)-business challenges I went through 2-5 years ago. Even in (mostly) retrospect, it is reassuring to know of others who voice my own fears and challenges. Only in the last 6 months am I happier with our decision to do this. . . and we started 5 years ago!! It was an incredibly hard 1st 4 years or so, and I cross my fingers every week that things will stay good. . . always knowing that if X,Y or Z goes wrong, we are toast! UGH!! It is so easy for someone outside to see "the boss" as rich/having it easy/etc and they can never understand the terrifying times and the sacrifices you make on *so many* levels. It is soooo hard. And, not being able to complain to anyone made it so much harder! Hang in there, ladies!!!!!!! And try to find people to complain to, as I really think the isolation makes it about 1000 times harder.

 

Confessional for me. . .

 

I really would love to be pregnant right now. . . and this is probably my last chance as dh has an appt in Dec with the urologist. . . After years struggling to come to terms, I so wish I felt at peace with his conviction not to have another child, but I don't. I hope I won't hold it against him if I am not pg and I hope he will not hold it against me if I am. I hate that we aren't on the same page about this. I know it is foolish of me to wrestle with this but I can't follow my own advice to man-up, count my many blessings, and get over it.

 

I hate that my body betrays me by having such low fertility and I know I'd have long since had one or two more dc if I had normal fertility.

Edited November 30, 2009 by StephanieZ

[fastforward]

My newbie confessions...

 

I really wonder how I can possibly homeschool my children when I am not so smart myself. I've been pursuing a degree for an uncountable amount of years, and I've messed it up yet again this semester.

 

I lurk on several messageboards and rarely post because I am too stupid to actually add anything of value or worth. I really envy people who can put together original, coherent thoughts online. I can only echo something I've heard somewhere else, and I don't even do so well with that.

 

I know that my kids prefer my husband because they respond better to him and are genuinely happy when he is home -- not so much during the week when it's just them and me.

 

Financially, I'm a disaster. Because of an issue with my mortgage company, I have to pay my November payment twice. My MIL (once again) came through for us and I have no idea how we'll pay her back. We owe her our lives at this point.

 

So glad my DH has so much patience to deal with me.

[AlmiraGulch]

I

 

I want to bag college. I am sick of all the dumb little things that are required. I am an adult and think like one, these classes are mind numbing! I am mad that I have to go one more semester.

 

 

 

Oh my gosh I could not possibly agree with you more! I'm in graduate school with 2 weeks left in this class, then one more and a thesis and I'm DONE. Honestly? I hate every single minute of it.

[TammyinTN]

I wish I wanted to go home for the holidays. I don't miss my family/inlaws at the holidays. It's like I'm selfish with my kids...I want it all to myself.

[Impish]

:lurk5:

[Mom In Missouri]

I confess:

 

It drives me gad-zooks crazy when we're judged for having 'only two children' due to our selfish desires to 'stop.' Sometimes I want to discuss the hard work, finances, and time that was spent just to conceive--doubt it would make a difference. So I privately broil on the inside.

 

I like the fact that I'm not Martha Christian Home and Gardens--nor do I want to be either.

 

I don't like lap booking. Never will.

 

Scrapbooking. See line above.

 

I enjoy sewing, crochet, and knitting. Yes, I actually wear what I make and no, you can't tell the difference.

 

The stereotypical home school Mom is not something I strive for. We don't subscribe to many of the 'ideals' of raising daughters and that outcasts not only me, but our daughters as well. Frustrating at times that humans feel the need to congregate for reassurance for survival amongst their own.

 

Chocolate is a necessity. Daily.

 

My husband 'gets' me.

 

Our daughters are growing up to be people I really like to spend my time with...

 

I cry at the drop of a hat, but I won't allow you to see me do it.

[Halftime Hope]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I wish I could help you feel better about yourself. You have tenacity, humility, teachableness, and you love your DH and the kids, enough to take on something and not let the enormity of it daunt you. Can you see those admirable things about yourself? You are pretty amazing! :blush:

 

Because of health issues, I'm no longer mentally sharp like I used to be. That doen't keep me from loving my family well, and being solid and consistent in their lives, even if I don't feel that bright sometimes. I hope this will pass, as I work on becoming healthier, but even if it doesn't I still have a lot of offer them, just like you do!

 

Blessings!

 

 

My newbie confessions...

 

I really wonder how I can possibly homeschool my children when I am not so smart myself. I've been pursuing a degree for an uncountable amount of years, and I've messed it up yet again this semester.

 

I lurk on several messageboards and rarely post because I am too stupid to actually add anything of value or worth. I really envy people who can put together original, coherent thoughts online. I can only echo something I've heard somewhere else, and I don't even do so well with that.

 

I know that my kids prefer my husband because they respond better to him and are genuinely happy when he is home -- not so much during the week when it's just them and me.

 

Financially, I'm a disaster. Because of an issue with my mortgage company, I have to pay my November payment twice. My MIL (once again) came through for us and I have no idea how we'll pay her back. We owe her our lives at this point.

 

So glad my DH has so much patience to deal with me.

[Mommyfaithe]

I confess:

 

It drives me gad-zooks crazy when we're judged for having 'only two children' due to our selfish desires to 'stop.' Sometimes I want to discuss the hard work, finances, and time that was spent just to conceive--doubt it would make a difference. So I privately broil on the inside.

 

I like the fact that I'm not Martha Christian Home and Gardens--nor do I want to be either.

 

I don't like lap booking. Never will.

 

Scrapbooking. See line above.

 

I enjoy sewing, crochet, and knitting. Yes, I actually wear what I make and no, you can't tell the difference.

 

The stereotypical home school Mom is not something I strive for. We don't subscribe to many of the 'ideals' of raising daughters and that outcasts not only me, but our daughters as well. Frustrating at times that humans feel the need to congregate for reassurance for survival amongst their own.

 

Chocolate is a necessity. Daily.

 

My husband 'gets' me.

 

Our daughters are growing up to be people I really like to spend my time with...

 

I cry at the drop of a hat, but I won't allow you to see me do it.

 

I so agree with you....

 

I so hate it that people assume we have 7 kids because we are really religious...or catholic...or Morman...or...whatever. We have kids because we like kids...or mostly because for a while there we thought we knew what we were doing...LOL. My kids are smart, healthy and happy...I just happen to have a lot of them...but not because of somy ultra-holy reason,. even though we are born-again Christians....

 

My daughters did grow up to be people I really like...so did my 2 sons so far...and I am sure i will like my littlies when they grow up.

 

I hate scrapbooks...lap books...pocket books etc. I do like workbooks though....sorry CM.

 

I am NOT a stereotypical HS Mom...or daughter...or wife...or friend...or business woman. I am very a-typical...and I am OK with that...but why does it bug others so much????

 

My husband not only gets me...he GETS me....and he is cute...and I really love him....probably hence all the kids :D

 

I can't stand unapproachable Holier than Thou people always trying to evangelize me. I AM a Christian...I act like a Christian...I love the Lord....I just don't like them anymore than I like to be around anyone who wants to stand there and make me feel bad so they can feel better about themselves.

 

 

~~Faithe

[Mommyfaithe]

I hate that all I do is cry lately and I'm so mad at God for taking my dd's fiance' away! There, I said it!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

margaret...I am so sorry....

 

:crying::crying:

[swellmomma]

* I am on here hiding from my kids, because the minute I mentioned we should go to the library today it set off a now 1 hour namecalling, hitting, screaming battle between the 3 oldest for no other reason than that I planned to bring everyone and not leave anyone home alone(none are old enough or mature enough to be home alone). I informed them that we would go when the fighting ended and promptly headed for my computer in my bedroom.

[LauraGB]

I do not like being the maid. Let me rephrase that: (Through clenched teeth and with balled fists) I. Do. Not. Like. Being. The. Maid.

 

I also desperately want a family vacation. Annually. Unfortunately, its more expensive to leave than it is to actually go. And in order for us to go, we would need to find a competent worker to move right in to our home and be Us and and do our work while we are gone (which I don't really like, either). However, finding a competent and trustworthy worker to take over for even a few days is expensive and hard to come by. Also, I'm worried about the quality of care they would provide to our "guys" (we care for 3 mentally ill men).

 

Again, in regards to work, I would like to be done and have our own home now. Ten years of working in this sort of situation, 24 hrs a day, every day of every year (with the exception of about 14 days total for the whole decade) has me metally burnt out and physically exhausted. I'm feeling selfish about this, and it makes me feel guilty.

 

And it makes me really angry that dh finds the time to go on 4-5 day vacations several times a year, when you-know-who stays behind to do EVERYTHING (that way, we don't need to hire help, see?).

Edited November 30, 2009 by LauraGB

[Jennifer]

My confessions:

 

* I kept an overdue library book for an extra 2 weeks after I ran out of renewals because we were not done with it for Hunter's schooling. (it was due Nov 12, I returned it on Friday :o )

 

I once told the library I lost a book when in fact I wanted it and it was out of print and I couldn't pay $60 for a used copy on Amazon. I paid the library the $15 processing fee and that was it.

 

After having not scrapbooked for 5 years but still planning on it every day I am officially giving up on scrapbooking.

 

My three school age children are in public school and I love it.

 

If I'm not a homeschooler or a scrapbooker, what am I?

Jennifer

[ereks mom]

I wish I could love the fact that at this point in my life my job is to take care of and work for everyone else.

 

 

 

I love to be needed, but sometimes I feel a bit unfulfilled. I have to keep telling myself that I can do things for myself (or just dh & me) later on, after the kids are out on their own. But I also dread the day when my kids no longer live at home and need me so much. Crazy, isn't it?