I can't stop crying....can you offer suggestions?

[mommy25]

I enrolled my 8th grader in school last Thursday. It has been very difficult for me. I have been crying off and on since then. I know that it is the right thing to do for now (circumstances that I won't go into), but it is still soooooooooooooooo hard. I have 5 children: 13, 11, 7, 5, and 2. This was our first time enrolling any of our children in school. Who would have thought that a mom would bawl her eyes out on her way out to the car after leaving her 8th grader at school!!!!

 

Anyway, I was wondering (as I am still in sort of a daze and really haven't thought this through much) how I can't supplement what she is doing in school. I would like to add some classical components but not sure what they would be at this point.

 

Are there others in this situation? Any advice or recommendations would be greatly appreciated. :confused:

[Pippen]

I enrolled my 8th grader in school last Thursday. It has been very difficult for me. I have been crying off and on since then. I know that it is the right thing to do for now (circumstances that I won't go into), but it is still soooooooooooooooo hard. I have 5 children: 13, 11, 7, 5, and 2. This was our first time enrolling any of our children in school. Who would have thought that a mom would bawl her eyes out on her way out to the car after leaving her 8th grader at school!!!!

 

Anyway, I was wondering (as I am still in sort of a daze and really haven't thought this through much) how I can't supplement what she is doing in school. I would like to add some classical components but not sure what they would be at this point.

 

Are there others in this situation? Any advice or recommendations would be greatly appreciated. :confused:

 

Hi mommy25,

 

I just saw your post and wanted to send some gentle hugs your way. Every time one of my children has taken a big step away from me--whether that be public school, a mission trip, or a band trip--at first it feels like one of my arms has been ripped off. The first few days are always the hardest and then usually they've done well in their new situations and have gained some independence.

 

No advice on what to add on in terms of academically but as one who has had more experience with ps than with homeschool, I'd suggest waiting a little bit until your 8th grader has settled in with the new routine and then see what you feel needs to be added. They're all usually very tired when they start up, plus my 7th grader has all he can handle during the school year with attending school, homework and extra-curriculars.

 

Be gentle on yourself today and here's hoping your daughter really thrives in her new school environment.

 

Pippen

[mommy25]

Hi mommy25,

 

I just saw your post and wanted to send some gentle hugs your way. Every time one of my children has taken a big step away from me--whether that be public school, a mission trip, or a band trip--at first it feels like one of my arms has been ripped off. The first few days are always the hardest and then usually they've done well in their new situations and have gained some independence.

 

No advice on what to add on in terms of academically but as one who has had more experience with ps than with homeschool, I'd suggest waiting a little bit until your 8th grader has settled in with the new routine and then see what you feel needs to be added. They're all usually very tired when they start up, plus my 7th grader has all he can handle during the school year with attending school, homework and extra-curriculars.

 

Be gentle on yourself today and here's hoping your daughter really thrives in her new school environment.

 

Pippen

 

Thank you so much for your kind words; I really appreciate it. It is so nice to know that others go through similar situations.

 

I do very much feel like one of my arms has been cut off!! I guess it is just letting go a little bit that is so hard.

 

God Bless :001_smile:

[Mom2GirlsTX]

I just wanted to send you hugs. I enrolled my oldest last Tuesday, something I had said I would not do. Well she went into Middle School (6th grade) and both her father and I are still grieving. I don't know if grieving is really the right word, but I do feel as someone has ripped her away from me.

The thing is, she is really enjoying it! She was very scared about the whole thing so dh and I went in and talked with the counselor before enrolling her. Having the counselor understand her fears and having the counselor walk her around without us also seemed to help. I'm only two days ahead of you for putting a kid in school, but I can say that my daughter is happy about it.

 

Please don't beat yourself up, everyone has circumstances that change. I know so many here on the boards think all school is evil, but I have not seen that so far. This middle school has a gang problem so all students wear uniforms, so obviously this is not the best school in the world but the teachers are nice (I have emailed them) and the school is clean. I plan to see if I can volunteer a few hours a month there.

 

I hope you can find peace with your decision. I have been supplementing my daughter at night with Life of Fred and Lial's Basic College MAth to cover any math concepts she was not up to speed on. She is doing pretty well, they moved her up to the pre-AP classes and Gifted classes after assessing her. However, dd feels the classes are to challenging, but she is not used to studying 8 hours a day either. It is a huge change emotionally and physically for her and it is a huge change emotionally for me.

 

I hope you feel better soon. Hugs

[Sue G in PA]

:grouphug: For various reasons, we had to send our 3 oldest back to ps this year. 8th gr. dd, 6th gr. ds, and 4th gr. ds. All 3 are loving it, but I HATE it. I feel like crying a lot, too. I hate the curriculum being used with all the kids, hate that my dd isn't being challenged, hate that my 6th gr. ds LOVES school and doesn't want to be home, etc. It's not what we wanted, but something we had to do. Now, I feel like I've lost these 3 to the school...they won't want to ever come back home to be homeschooled. Dd is the only one who could "take it or leave it"...ps that is. She loves being the smart one in the class (she's ahead of most of her classmates even though she is a young 8th grader), loves that she has to correct her English teacher's sentence diagrams b/c they are incorrect (LOL), loves that her teachers adore her, etc. But, she could do w/out the atmosphere and pettiness that goes on. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I just wanted to give you a hug b/c you are not alone in this. As for supplementing after school...my kids fight me on it. They are tired and don't want "extra" work. I wish I had some advice, but I don't. I'll just pray you get peace about it soon.

[unsinkable]

mommy25,

 

It was awful for me, too. My ds went to a Catholic boys high school this fall and "it feels like I am ripping my arms off" is how I described it!

 

I was a mess for a while & I am still adjusting. I love picking him up after school...and I love the weekends when he's home and it feels "normal" again.

 

:grouphug:

 

You'll be in my prayers!

[Shelly in IL]

Everyday - because I am putting my 8th grader in school next year. I'm hopeful that this will stop soon, or I'll cry every day for like 10 months!!!

[4kids4me]

:grouphug:

 

I have no advice, but I've homeschooled my kids from the beginning. I know FOR SURE that if/when I send my first to school, I'd bawl my eyes out, too, even if the eldest started in grade nine. It's no different than a parent sending their kindergartener to school for the first time. It'll get easier.

 

:grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

Change is stressful, even if it is for a good reason. I was weepy when my oldest left for college.

 

I think a few weepy days are normal, crying jags that continue for weeks could be a sign of depression. Keep an eye on yourself and take extra care. Maybe spend some time at the school, if they allow volunteers or chaperones. I am chaperoning a field trip for my ds' 10th grade music class next month. It helps me to see the kids and teachers as the regular folk they are.

 

It's school, and I would imagine not a horrible one or you would have put your foot down and not allowed it. Be patient with yourself, trust your decision, but of you find yourself stuill crying in a couple of weeks, I might think about talking to your doctor.

[mommy25]

Thank you to all of you for your kind words, support, and encouragement. It is getting a little easier but I don't know if I can ever get used to this.

[TKDmom]

I have not BTDT. But could you read out loud to your children in the evenings? I just got done reading "The Read-Aloud Handbook" by Jim Trelease. He laments the fact that we stop reading aloud to kids by the time they are teenagers. It could be a good bonding time (if your dd doesn't consider it beneath her ;)) and it might be a good way to cover some extra history or literature that she's not getting at school without piling on extra work for her.

 

I hope you're able to be at peace with your decision soon. :grouphug:

[bettyandbob]

Depending on the academic expectations of your dd's school, your dd may have a lot of basic demands for school and may (justifiably) have trouble with more work from mom. So, I would recommend supplementing with read alouds, audio and maybe dvd. In other words more passive materials and maybe even things you can use with your other dc. There is a lot that covers particularly in history and English. You might even be able to do some Latin this way and some science topics. If your dd has difficulty with any of her classes then, I would suggest doing more active supplementation in the problem subject. If the courses your dd is taking lack so much "rigor" that you fear loosing skills, I'd do the passive supplementation and add some active things that hit on those skills. There are a variety of writing and poetry contests. Participation in an activity like 4H or girl scout and doing certain projects (you have to research the opportunities/projects) can also help some academic skills.

 

Maybe I missed it, but you didn't say why you enrolled your dd. I suspect the big problem is not a need to afterschool, but more of your own loss of being so involved. That is a huge loss. I hope the year moves in a positive direction for your dd and you find that you don't feel so disconnected from her life and education.

[Sahamamama]

:grouphug: You miss her. This is a good thing, even though it hurts, because your heart will find another way to love her, besides homeschooling. There is more than one way to love her. For years you have expressed your devotion to your daughter through teaching her and having her home, but now the best thing for your family is to walk down another path.

 

It's very normal to cry.

 

I remember when my parents and I dropped off my older sister at college. I was elated -- "I get my own bathroom, I get my own bathroom...!" -- but my poor parents were devastated.

 

This was the trip back home, from Missouri to New Jersey:

 

Missouri -- Both parents BAWLING

Illinois -- Dad cried

Indiana -- Mom cried

Ohio -- Dad cried

West Virginia -- Mom cried, all eleven miles through

Pennsylvania -- They took turns (it's a wide state)

 

Crossing the bridge into New Jersey -- They pulled over and said to me, "Here, you drive, we can't see the road."

 

For weeks afterward, I would come downstairs in the morning to find my dad crying in his cornflakes, or my mom sobbing in my sister's room. It was awful to see them miss her so much, but it taught me how much love they had in their hearts for their children. (They say they cried as much for me, too, LOL!).

 

Be gentle with yourself for a while, this is a BIG transition for all of you. Your daughter and your other children are probably feeling it pretty deeply, too. HTH.

[mommy25]

:grouphug: You miss her. This is a good thing, even though it hurts, because your heart will find another way to love her, besides homeschooling. There is more than one way to love her. For years you have expressed your devotion to your daughter through teaching her and having her home, but now the best thing for your family is to walk down another path.

 

It's very normal to cry.

 

I remember when my parents and I dropped off my older sister at college. I was elated -- "I get my own bathroom, I get my own bathroom...!" -- but my poor parents were devastated.

 

This was the trip back home, from Missouri to New Jersey:

 

Missouri -- Both parents BAWLING

Illinois -- Dad cried

Indiana -- Mom cried

Ohio -- Dad cried

West Virginia -- Mom cried, all eleven miles through

Pennsylvania -- They took turns (it's a wide state)

 

Crossing the bridge into New Jersey -- They pulled over and said to me, "Here, you drive, we can't see the road."

 

For weeks afterward, I would come downstairs in the morning to find my dad crying in his cornflakes, or my mom sobbing in my sister's room. It was awful to see them miss her so much, but it taught me how much love they had in their hearts for their children. (They say they cried as much for me, too, LOL!).

 

Be gentle with yourself for a while, this is a BIG transition for all of you. Your daughter and your other children are probably feeling it pretty deeply, too. HTH.

 

Thanks for sharing......yes, this is one of the hardest things I have ever been through. I pray I didn't make a mistake. I just have to figure out the "other way" of loving her.

[MistyJ]

:grouphug: You miss her. This is a good thing, even though it hurts, because your heart will find another way to love her, besides homeschooling. There is more than one way to love her. For years you have expressed your devotion to your daughter through teaching her and having her home, but now the best thing for your family is to walk down another path.

 

It's very normal to cry.

 

I remember when my parents and I dropped off my older sister at college. I was elated -- "I get my own bathroom, I get my own bathroom...!" -- but my poor parents were devastated.

 

This was the trip back home, from Missouri to New Jersey:

 

Missouri -- Both parents BAWLING

Illinois -- Dad cried

Indiana -- Mom cried

Ohio -- Dad cried

West Virginia -- Mom cried, all eleven miles through

Pennsylvania -- They took turns (it's a wide state)

 

Crossing the bridge into New Jersey -- They pulled over and said to me, "Here, you drive, we can't see the road."

 

For weeks afterward, I would come downstairs in the morning to find my dad crying in his cornflakes, or my mom sobbing in my sister's room. It was awful to see them miss her so much, but it taught me how much love they had in their hearts for their children. (They say they cried as much for me, too, LOL!).

 

Be gentle with yourself for a while, this is a BIG transition for all of you. Your daughter and your other children are probably feeling it pretty deeply, too. HTH.

 

 

This made me cry.

[Terabith]

I'm not sure what the circumstances were around you feeling you had to put her in school, but is it possible that those are contributing to your weepiness?

 

I do think you should watch yourself for depression. Feeling weepy is normal, but not being able to stop crying for days concerns me a bit. You need to take care of yourself. :grouphug: