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My dear dh was in such a funk yesterday. (soon to be unemployed)


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I would be available if he wants to talk or spend time just with you. Having said that, when my dh gets down like that he goes in "his cave."

 

He will talk to me when he's ready, but usually has to have veg/alone time first.

 

Be there for him and keep your attitude great and the kids entertained. That is what my dh would need. Oh yeah, and "tea" on demand. :001_smile:

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Can you go on a short camping/hiking/fishing trip...chop some firewood...paint the basement...anything together that will help him to feel useful? When my dh lost his job last winter, he went through a sort of period of feeling limp and useless, but getting him to working on clearing our property really, really helped. He made bonfires of all the scruffy wood he cut that seemed to make him feel commanding. ;) He had to feel useful and needed something tangible to see he could accomplish something worthwhile. :grouphug:

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How can I help him during this tough time aside from being there, listening, trying to encourage that he have space to deal with this, being his team mate researching possibilities, etc? How would you use this 3 day weekend together?

 

My dh was unemployed for a relatively short time this year. No warning from his company. Well, they gave him 1 hour's notice.

 

Well, in our case, we believe that God was just moving him from a bad situation into something else. We were shell shocked for the first couple of days. And just went through normal routines (church, food, showering.) It is a time of feeling like you're in a grief stage. So it's ok to have those down feelings. Make sure you have spiritual support from friends/pastors/whatever you do. Honestly, without that support, I don't think we would have gotten through the first stages of it all.

 

He spent the first week doing resume rewriting, and lots of searches for what's out there. He found in the paper there was a looking for work in the management fields support group that met on Wed. mornings -- so I said "go! sounds like fun."

 

But, b/c of just who he is, I think he was in danger of not coming out of the man cave for long stretches of time. So, I gave him assignments that fit him: Honey, I'm not clicking today with teaching writing, can you help Oldest kid for an hour with this? Honey, you know, I'd like to still go to the Cincy convention this weekend, can you have fun today with the kids? (he went to a Park with them, and took them to lunch even though we were a little stressed about money. but hey -- what's a happy meal?)

 

So, in my dh's case, I made sure he had time out of the cave to interact with us and do fun stuff like field trips and park days, and lunch outside. (the weather was nice.)

 

Then, next thing we knew - he had a job in another state and we had to start getting the house on the market to sell so he did a lot of that for 3 weeks then he moved out to the new job while the kids and I stayed behind to sell the house and finish out the summer. His new company provided short term housing for him. And he'd work in the day, and did house hunting in evening and weekend. We moved 2 months after that.

 

He isn't the kind of personality that just comes up with ideas to do, but is willing to do stuff if someone else has the idea. So I provided the ideas.

 

wow..... I really have no idea how we did all of that. seems so surreal as I type it now. I just didn't think a lot about all of it and just did the next thing. oh yeah..... private blogging help me too. lots of prayer and spiritual support.

 

 

:grouphug:

-crystal

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