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A Positive H1N1 thread: How do you calm your fears/not freak out??


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My goal here is to make this post a positive post for dealing with H1N1, the hype that has ensued over it, the fear that I think most of us feel to some degree, and so on.

 

How do you read about kids dying and NOT freak out? How do you resolve in yourself that everything will be okay when you can't know for sure? There is so much scary news out there right now and there are even posts here that are just terrifying. Does anyone have a good way of dealing with this? If you aren't freaking out, what are you doing to take control of this situation?

 

I know some are getting the vaccine and I am sure that gives a good sense of security. I wish we could get it. I can't take it due to a rxn 2 years ago. The kids can't take it because dh and I don't agree on them taking it...and I won't do it without him being 100% on board.

 

So...if anyone cares to post some positives, I think we would all appreciate it. Anything you can think of - positive statistics, positive thoughts, positive ways to control the panic. ANYTHING. :)

 

I'm :bigear:

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I am not freaked out in the least, nor am I 'fearful'. I suppose I have concerns enough that, for the first time in my entire life, I thought about flu shots. Interesting, but not stressful.

 

I do want to make right choices, but nothing is a done deal/sure thing. We make the best decisions we can with the information we have as it arises.

 

Oh, and I *never* listen to the news. I don't have cable, even. I do read the NYT, and they have not , imo, ime, been hysterical.

Edited by LibraryLover
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The odds of something severe from swine flu happening to your child is very low. Right this minute I have a child with the swine flu and on antibiotics from an infection. I just stay nearby and am watchful. Being cautious is fine, don't give in to fear.

Edited by True Blue
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MY understanding of H1N1 is that it's just another form of the flu - no more or less likely to cause terrible things than any other strain.

 

Isaac was diagnosed with the flu on Friday, most likely H1N1, and with Tamiflu, he bounced right back. He had one day of fairly high fevers that we were able to control with ibuprofen.

 

Abbie came down with it Friday night and just this afternoon was pretty much back to her old self. She didn't get Tamiful because she has no other health issues (Isaac has asthma). She had some wicked high fevers (up to 105) and that was scary to me. We just dealt with it though and she was fine.

 

I hate for my kids to have any kind of flu, but we just deal with it. I try to make sure we are careful about washing hands. We don't go a lot of places, but more because I don't want to, honestly. I truly do not think there is a reason to panic about H1N1.

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Doc is pretty sure it went through our house. No one was sick enough to warrant a dr's visit. Only have one sick one left. I have paid close attention, but it was like any other virus. Fever, coughing, some were nauseous, some were not. No one threw up. The only one I will worry about a little is my last one. She has a 'touch' [btw, how does anyone have a touch?] of asthma so I will listen closely to her cough. Is that positive enough for you?:D It wasn't bad, really. I am grateful.

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How do you read about kids dying and NOT freak out? How do you resolve in yourself that everything will be okay when you can't know for sure?

 

Death is nothing to us, for when we are, it has not come; and when it has come, we are not. -Epicurius

 

That is how I calm myself. Actually, I worry more about suffering than death, especially for my son.

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Dozens and dozens of people whom I know personally, including kids, have contracted H1N1. They all felt bad for a few days, but all are fine now.

 

Throughout the country, the percentage of children dying is very low. It's higher than other flus, but still low. The overwhelming probability is that if your child contracted it, he or she would feel bad for a few days, then be fine.

 

You could all get killed in an auto accident tomorrow. Don't waste the precious life you do have worrying over something that is highly unlikely to happen. My dh taught me early in our marriage: There's no point worrying until you know that you have something to worry about. I eventually learned to act on his advice. When I think of how many days of my life prior to that I had wasted worrying about things that never happened, it's sad. I think that when I was younger, I almost thought that worrying hard enough would actually have some kind of protective effect--like I could think through it well enough to keep whatever it was at bay. In reality, I just lost a lot of precious time.

 

If your kids get swine flu, they'll in all probability be just fine. Just like in all probability, you'll all get back from the grocery store next time you go. Nothing is guaranteed, but once your fear has a result that you've acted to change circumstances to the best of your ability (put seatbelts on the kids, gotten vaccines if you believe in that, etc.) there is no purpose for the fear anymore. It just steals life.

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I guess since we have alot of contact with docs due to health issues and many friends that have had it and recovered far better than with the seasonal flu, all the hype does not affect me. Of course because of my son's illness we know many kids who die every month, so death of young children is not surprising to us like it is to many others.

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When my kids were sick I was more vigilant. I watched them more closely for signs that the illness was worsening. They were sick, but Every Five Years sick, not Never Seen This Before sick.

 

I've noticed in your posts that you seem to have a higher level of anxiety than is warranted and I want to give you :grouphug::grouphug: Maybe this is stemming from another source? Do you experience anxiety attacks or free-floating anxiety as a matter of course? It seems like you've developed a phobia surrounding the virus and are truly panicked. It isn't going to matter if I tell you your kids are at a greater risk of getting killed in an accident of some sort or that cancer kills around 2500 kids in the US alone in a year (100K worldwide...mostly from lack of adequate healthcare). You may benefit short term from medication to get over this hump. Have you thought about seeing a counselor?

 

Barb

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When my kids were sick I was more vigilant. I watched them more closely for signs that the illness was worsening. They were sick, but Every Five Years sick, not Never Seen This Before sick.

 

I've noticed in your posts that you seem to have a higher level of anxiety than is warranted and I want to give you :grouphug::grouphug: Maybe this is stemming from another source? Do you experience anxiety attacks or free-floating anxiety as a matter of course? It seems like you've developed a phobia surrounding the virus and are truly panicked. It isn't going to matter if I tell you your kids are at a greater risk of getting killed in an accident of some sort or that cancer kills around 2500 kids in the US alone in a year (100K worldwide...mostly from lack of adequate healthcare). You may benefit short term from medication to get over this hump. Have you thought about seeing a counselor?

 

Barb

 

Hehe - you noticed, huh? :tongue_smilie: I have OCD that manifests as health anxiety (hypochondria). It can be truly debilitating and has been several times in my life. If I can't get a handle on it, I will have to go the medication route. Thanks for the hugs and the stats. My dh says the same thing. I tend not to listen to him, though. :lol:

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I don't believe the statistics that are promoted by the media.

 

If you look on the CDC's website, you will find that a majority of the people who died from the seasonal flu is not close to 40,000, but under 300. The rest died from complications from the flu, mostly viral and bacterial infections. I'll try to find a link.

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I don't believe the statistics that are promoted by the media.

 

If you look on the CDC's website, you will find that a majority of the people who died from the seasonal flu is not close to 40,000, but under 300. The rest died from complications from the flu, mostly viral and bacterial infections. I'll try to find a link.

 

 

Nobody ever dies from 'the flu'! They die from complications of the flu. My fil , fi, didn't die from Parkinson's, he died from complications caused by the disease. My 85 yr old gfather didn't die of pneumonia, he died from complications caused by pneumonia, ie a bacterial infection.

 

That's how it goes.

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Hehe - you noticed, huh? :tongue_smilie: I have OCD that manifests as health anxiety (hypochondria). It can be truly debilitating and has been several times in my life. If I can't get a handle on it, I will have to go the medication route. Thanks for the hugs and the stats. My dh says the same thing. I tend not to listen to him, though. :lol:

 

Is there a reason you are not on medication/alternatives to medication if you are not into pharmaceuticals?. I am not asking snarkily, I am asking out of concern. This type of thing is serious and can lead to other life complications. There are ways to treat OCD. It might take some tweaking and searching and time, but it also might help/give you your life back.

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Hehe - you noticed, huh? :tongue_smilie: I have OCD that manifests as health anxiety (hypochondria). It can be truly debilitating and has been several times in my life. If I can't get a handle on it, I will have to go the medication route. Thanks for the hugs and the stats. My dh says the same thing. I tend not to listen to him, though. :lol:

 

I'm so glad you didn't take offense. I went through the same thing throughout my 20's and early 30's but somehow managed to grow out of it. I don't know why. When my second child was born, I used to lay awake nights worried that if someone broke in I wouldn't know who to save first. I would hide a phone under my bed and then worry that someone would cut the line. I worried about being carjacked. Like I would sit at lights with my eyes darting left and right. I didn't fly. I was worried sick about Y2K. And terrorists after 9/11. Then suddenly, it all went away. Maybe the fish oil helps?

 

Barb

 

ETA: Actually, after all the cancer in my family this year (3 deaths, and one close call in a very small extended family) I've noticed a higher level of health anxiety than usual. Not to the extent you seem to be experiencing, but this is a radically new thing for me.

Edited by Barb F. PA in AZ
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"Seasonal flu-related deaths are deaths that occur in people for whom seasonal influenza infection was likely a contributor to the cause of death, but not necessarily the primary cause of death."

 

CDC does not know exactly how many people die from seasonal flu each year because they use statistical modeling.

 

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr52/nvsr52_03.pdf

 

Go to page 39, most of the way down the page. Influenza is listed as having 257 deaths in 2001; the rest died from pneumonia. This is from the CDC's own website.

 

So, check your information. Take a look at the table. More people died of malnutrition than of influenza, and I don't see the President declaring a state of emergency to feed the hungry in our country.

Edited by cdrumm4448
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I have been on and off meds for the last 10 years. They helped...for a long time. Now, my body won't tolerate them. The side effects on the meds and the withdrawls from the meds are just not something I am willing to do again. I have tried counseling and have come a long way. Trust me...this is GOOD compared to the way I was even just a year ago. A year ago, something started happening that let me know this was going too far. I was nervous about something that I thought was cancer. I went to the doctor and they did a biopsy. During the week of waiting for the results (which is always the hardest part), my body literally started shutting down. I had never experienced that before. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't wake up. I ground my teeth so much that my TMJ caused a constant headache. I totally checked out of my life for a week. To be honest, it scared me that I reacted this way. I went immediately into behavioral therapy and it has helped tremendously. Though my response to this may seem pretty severe, my response to other things has been much worse. The fact that I didn't give swine flu a second thought until a few weeks ago is good too. I have not been this concerned for a long time. I also went through one illness with my kids since all this started and I was okay with it.

 

One day at a time...and lots of positive thoughts right now...

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I'm so glad you didn't take offense. I went through the same thing throughout my 20's and early 30's but somehow managed to grow out of it. I don't know why. When my second child was born, I used to lay awake nights worried that if someone broke in I wouldn't know who to save first. I would hide a phone under my bed and then worry that someone would cut the line. I worried about being carjacked. Like I would sit at lights with my eyes darting left and right. I didn't fly. I was worried sick about Y2K. And terrorists after 9/11. Then suddenly, it all went away. Maybe the fish oil helps?

 

Barb

 

ETA: Actually, after all the cancer in my family this year (3 deaths, and one close call in a very small extended family) I've noticed a higher level of health anxiety than usual. Not to the extent you seem to be experiencing, but this is a radically new thing for me.

 

Although this has been present since I can remember to some degree, it did not start affecting my life so severely until my 6 year old was born. I was afraid he would die of SIDS to the point that he slept beside my bed in a crib until he was 9 mos old! I would lay awake at night and watch him. I had visions, when I would close my eyes, of him turning blue and dying and me not being able to save him. I have worried about car wrecks to the point of, once, coming to a place where I thought I wouldn't drive again if I didn't get myself out of the fear. I worked very hard on that one because I didn't want that to happen. I am glad to say, it worked and now I drive without excessive worry.

 

Mine was brought on by the death of my grandfather when I was 11. He spent 9 months in the hospital, dying at varying degress the whole time. I was a child and I was there often with my mom (who was his only child). My parents are divorced, so where else would I have gone? I was literally terrifying - the doctors, the machines, and him - so sick. I watched it for 9 months, we prayed for a miracle, he begs us not to "let him die" and then he died. It was absolutely the most catastrophic thing I could have endured at such a young age. He was a father to me where my own dad was absent.

 

Anyway, I do pray that I will grow out of it. My biological father did. He was a hypochondriac until he was in his mid 30's. Now he doesn't worry about anything. There is hope..l

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"Seasonal flu-related deaths are deaths that occur in people for whom seasonal influenza infection was likely a contributor to the cause of death, but not necessarily the primary cause of death."

 

CDC does not know exactly how many people die from seasonal flu each year because they use statistical modeling.

 

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr52/nvsr52_03.pdf

 

Go to page 39, most of the way down the page. Influenza is listed as having 257 deaths in 2001; the rest died from pneumonia. This is from the CDC's own website.

 

So, check your information. Take a look at the table. More people died of malnutrition than of influenza, and I don't see the President declaring a state of emergency to feed the hungry in our country.

 

I mostly worry about whatever it is that causes you to die after having the flu.

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Although this has been present since I can remember to some degree, it did not start affecting my life so severely until my 6 year old was born. I was afraid he would die of SIDS to the point that he slept beside my bed in a crib until he was 9 mos old! I would lay awake at night and watch him. I had visions, when I would close my eyes, of him turning blue and dying and me not being able to save him. I have worried about car wrecks to the point of, once, coming to a place where I thought I wouldn't drive again if I didn't get myself out of the fear. I worked very hard on that one because I didn't want that to happen. I am glad to say, it worked and now I drive without excessive worry.

 

Mine was brought on by the death of my grandfather when I was 11. He spent 9 months in the hospital, dying at varying degress the whole time. I was a child and I was there often with my mom (who was his only child). My parents are divorced, so where else would I have gone? I was literally terrifying - the doctors, the machines, and him - so sick. I watched it for 9 months, we prayed for a miracle, he begs us not to "let him die" and then he died. It was absolutely the most catastrophic thing I could have endured at such a young age. He was a father to me where my own dad was absent.

 

Anyway, I do pray that I will grow out of it. My biological father did. He was a hypochondriac until he was in his mid 30's. Now he doesn't worry about anything. There is hope..l

 

 

I don't think sleeping by a baby for 9 months is a sign of OCD. My kids all slept with us, in our bed, for years and neither I nor my dh are OCD. (We have 4 kids and owned a crib for about 3 mos?) If that was a sign of OCD, I wouldn't know anyone without OCD. Seriously.

 

Maybe you need a basic SSRI to keep panic at bay. I'd suggest Zoloft, but if you have been on meds on & off for a few years, you would have been prescribed Zoloft, esp if preg or nursing.

 

If, on the off chance you've never been prescribed Zoloft, you might consdier it.

Edited by LibraryLover
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Anyway, I do pray that I will grow out of it. My biological father did. He was a hypochondriac until he was in his mid 30's. Now he doesn't worry about anything. There is hope..l

 

There is. Particularly since you've already come so far by your own description. I wish I could tell you what it was that changed for me, but I'm mystified.

 

Barb

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I don't think sleeong by a baby for 9 months is a sign of OCD. My kids all slept with us for years and neither I or my dh are OCD. 9We have 4 kids and owned a crib for about 3 mos?) If that was a sign of OCD, I wouldn't know anyone without OCD. Seriously.

 

No, I know what she's talking about. It's not just the act of having the kids sleep with you, but why: simple closeness or paralyzing, can't sleep at night, compulsive panic.

 

Barb

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I don't think sleeping by a baby for 9 months is a sign of OCD. My kids all slept with us, in our bed, for years and neither I nor my dh are OCD. (We have 4 kids and owned a crib for about 3 mos?) If that was a sign of OCD, I wouldn't know anyone without OCD. Seriously.

 

Maybe you need a basic SSRI to keep panic at bay. I'd suggest Zoloft, but if you have been on meds on & off for a few years, you would have been prescribed Zoloft, esp if preg or nursing.

 

If, on the off chance you've never been prescribed Zoloft, you might consdier it.

 

True...but did you have your kids sleep with you because you enjoyed them or because you saw visions of them turning blue and dying and felt you needed to wake up every hour to put your finger under their nose and see if they are breathing. LOL That may be the difference. :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh yes, Zoloft, Paxil, Cymbalta, Prozac, and my favorite Lexapro. There were more - wellbutrin, effexor. Then there are the anti-anxiety meds - I still take ativan from time to time.

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My naturopath has a therapy that has changed one of my good friend's life. Really changed. You hardly recognize her. It has helped me a great deal too. It is called holographic repatterning. I encourage you to look for a practitioner. It deals with energy in a similar way to Emotional Freedom Technique (which could also help you and you could try it without anything to lose... www.tapping.com).

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I avoid the topic, except on here, and most of the time I skip it on here too. I know avoidance doesn't help matters, but I do have to say there just doesn't seem like much you can do.

 

We went to the pumpkin patch yesterday. There were so many busloads of kids there from various schools, some pretty far away. Part of me wanted to hussle the kids back to the car screaming, DON'T. TOUCH. ANYTHING! I didn't, though. We picked our pumpkins, the kids had a good time and I kept the wild animal of panic at bay.

 

I think the best thing you can do is focus on other things.

 

Oh, and here's something dh's grandpa used to have hanging on the fridge :) It's short and a little crass, so I'll make it hard to see :p

 

Why worry?

Either you're healthy or you're sick.

If you're healthy, you have no reason to worry.

If you're sick, you'll either get better, or you'll die.

If you get better, you have no reason to worry.

If you die, you'll either go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven, you have no reason to worry.

If you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends you'll have no time to worry.

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My doctor said last week to me: why worry about something over which you really have no control. If and when you get the swine flu or really any other illness, then deal with it. It's like waiting for an accident to happen to you. Just do your best to stay away from sick people.

 

My youngest got the h1n1 mist at the office last week. No one else in the house can get it. Massachusetts will hand it out through the schools for students only. Same for Rhode Island. So I am not going to worry about it.

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True...but did you have your kids sleep with you because you enjoyed them or because you saw visions of them turning blue and dying and felt you needed to wake up every hour to put your finger under their nose and see if they are breathing. LOL That may be the difference. :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh yes, Zoloft, Paxil, Cymbalta, Prozac, and my favorite Lexapro. There were more - wellbutrin, effexor. Then there are the anti-anxiety meds - I still take ativan from time to time.

 

 

You have been through the mill. I hope you can find some peace. You're a very nice person who deserves better.

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I don't watch the news, I don't read the scary posts, I don't read H1N1 news stories... I just basically insulate myself from it as much as possible. We wash hands, we take vitamins, we do what we can. I have enough other stuff to really freak out about and I just can't take this on.

 

I've been through the wringer of meds too and I just have to cut certain things off to survive and make it through the day. :grouphug:

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I feel badly for you because I know how uncontrolled OCD wrecks havoc for everyone in the family. I know it's painful. I know you want peace and that's why your asking this question. And that is what this is about. Not the flu.

 

Are you on an SSRI currently? Have you ever done any cognitive/behavioral therapy. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is get the OCD under control.

 

In my case (my OCD issues aren't this area) I know that I can't control anything by ruminating and worrying over it. I've also accepted, as best I can, that my kids could die. I have to do that because one son has a metabolic condition that, barring new treatments that I pray for, will kill him at some point. And facing that made me realize that even when that isn't "in our face" all the time things happen to kids, even healthy ones, like car accidents. So we do what we can and live each day for joy. Your fear is robbing you of joy and peace. And I know what that feels like. OCD is a monster. But you can get help and keep it in it's cage so to speak. What feeds OCD are the compulsions. And based on what I've seen here I think at least part of your compulsions are seeking reassurance, seeking information, and going over it in your head. So is the checking for breathing of course. The only way to make the fear calm down is to stop feeding it. That means when the thought pops in that the flu could kill them or they could be dead instead of reading up on it, asking questions here, asking people in your life to reassure you, checking on their breathing, etc. you tell it "that's true, that could happen" because it could. And you don't do whatever the thought is driving you to do. It doesn't matter to your OCD mind how unlikely that is to happen. It matters that you can't bear the thought and so do things to reassure yourself that it can't, hasn't, won't happen. And those things never last and then you repeat. Or something along those lines. Whatever the fear is you have to accept the possibility to calm the OCD.

 

I know none of that was probably helpful to you. I feel badly that you are so torn up. I strongly encourage you to combine the most effective SSRI for you (even if it didn't help entirely) with cognitive behavioral therapy with someone who works with OCD. The OCD foundation has lists of therapists who specialize in OCD. Ideally there is someone near you. If not I believe there is a place out of NY that will do phone therapy too if there is no one near you and they do work with "mental" or "pure" OCD which might be part of it for you.

 

I wish you peace.

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I feel badly for you because I know how uncontrolled OCD wrecks havoc for everyone in the family. I know it's painful. I know you want peace and that's why your asking this question. And that is what this is about. Not the flu.

 

Are you on an SSRI currently? Have you ever done any cognitive/behavioral therapy. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is get the OCD under control.

 

In my case (my OCD issues aren't this area) I know that I can't control anything by ruminating and worrying over it. I've also accepted, as best I can, that my kids could die. I have to do that because one son has a metabolic condition that, barring new treatments that I pray for, will kill him at some point. And facing that made me realize that even when that isn't "in our face" all the time things happen to kids, even healthy ones, like car accidents. So we do what we can and live each day for joy. Your fear is robbing you of joy and peace. And I know what that feels like. OCD is a monster. But you can get help and keep it in it's cage so to speak. What feeds OCD are the compulsions. And based on what I've seen here I think at least part of your compulsions are seeking reassurance, seeking information, and going over it in your head. So is the checking for breathing of course. The only way to make the fear calm down is to stop feeding it. That means when the thought pops in that the flu could kill them or they could be dead instead of reading up on it, asking questions here, asking people in your life to reassure you, checking on their breathing, etc. you tell it "that's true, that could happen" because it could. And you don't do whatever the thought is driving you to do. It doesn't matter to your OCD mind how unlikely that is to happen. It matters that you can't bear the thought and so do things to reassure yourself that it can't, hasn't, won't happen. And those things never last and then you repeat. Or something along those lines. Whatever the fear is you have to accept the possibility to calm the OCD.

 

I know none of that was probably helpful to you. I feel badly that you are so torn up. I strongly encourage you to combine the most effective SSRI for you (even if it didn't help entirely) with cognitive behavioral therapy with someone who works with OCD. The OCD foundation has lists of therapists who specialize in OCD. Ideally there is someone near you. If not I believe there is a place out of NY that will do phone therapy too if there is no one near you and they do work with "mental" or "pure" OCD which might be part of it for you.

 

I wish you peace.

 

Thank you so much for your insight. I do know that you are right - on every account. I have taken SSRIs and done CBT in the past. It does help and I am a lot better now that I have been at other times in my life. However, accepting that I may have to take this type of medicine for the rest of my life makes me miserable! The side effects of these meds are terrible for me (most of the time) and withdrawals are even worse. However, I have suffered with this long enough to know that it may come to taking the meds again. :( It makes me feel terrible when that time comes too - it is very much a "defeat" for me. It is me admitting that this is bigger than me and I really hate doing that!

 

Again, thank you for your kind words. You are 100% correct.

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The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not as much of a problem as proliferation is.

 

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection,and in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

 

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

 

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

 

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt).

*H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms.

Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water.

 

*Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

 

 

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C ( citrus fruits).

*If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

 

6. Drink as much warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

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I remember that my kids are more likely to die in a car accident. On average 2000 kids in America die in car wrecks each year. It is RIDICULOUS to worry about swine flu when I am still putting them in a car and driving them around without even thinking about it.

 

 

But most of us use carseats and seatbelts to hedge our bets a bit. I think that's one reason people are trying to figure out if the vax could help or not, esp since this flu strain is different. Discussion doesn't always equal hysteria, either.

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And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? Matthew 6:27

 

The Lord knows the days of the blameless,

and their heritage will remain forever; Ps 37:18

 

This is what I remember.

 

You could all get killed in an auto accident tomorrow. Don't waste the precious life you do have worrying over something that is highly unlikely to happen. My dh taught me early in our marriage: There's no point worrying until you know that you have something to worry about. I eventually learned to act on his advice. When I think of how many days of my life prior to that I had wasted worrying about things that never happened, it's sad. I think that when I was younger, I almost thought that worrying hard enough would actually have some kind of protective effect--like I could think through it well enough to keep whatever it was at bay. In reality, I just lost a lot of precious time.

 

If your kids get swine flu, they'll in all probability be just fine. Just like in all probability, you'll all get back from the grocery store next time you go. Nothing is guaranteed, but once your fear has a result that you've acted to change circumstances to the best of your ability (put seatbelts on the kids, gotten vaccines if you believe in that, etc.) there is no purpose for the fear anymore. It just steals life.

 

 

These two posts really spoke to my heart. Thank you.

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My motto is "Why worry when you can pray?"

 

Whenever I feel afraid, I try to offer it up to the Lord. Then I usually start begging for protection and guidance, and then I hopefully surrender to the Will of God. I try to remember to praise God through the hard times, giving thanks that it's not even worse. And even if it's the worst that it can be, I try to remember that I'm not this temporary physical body, but an eternal soul. Whatever it takes to get my soul to remember and surrender to God, so be it.

 

I also find security in knowing that God gave us many amazing, healing plants for medicine that are very effective in their natural forms.

 

When I learn of all the death and pain and suffering in this world, I pray for those who are afflicted, and that the Lord will bless them with mercy and blessings for their endurance.

 

 

Psalm 91

 

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

 

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust."

 

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

 

4 He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

 

5 You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

 

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

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I find myself singing, 'I'm still standing...' To date, I have been in:

 

The UK for Mad Cow/Creutzfeld-Jacobs

Hong Kong for SARS

China for Bird Flu

 

I've developed a respect for epidemics but also an understanding that even when numbers of patients are large, likelihood of damage to me and mine is small.

 

Laura

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I find myself singing, 'I'm still standing...' To date, I have been in:

 

The UK for Mad Cow/Creutzfeld-Jacobs

Hong Kong for SARS

China for Bird Flu

 

I've developed a respect for epidemics but also an understanding that even when numbers of patients are large, likelihood of damage to me and mine is small.

 

Laura

 

Oh my! They would have had to bury me just from the worry alone if I had seen all of those as close as you did.:001_huh::svengo:

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Oh my! They would have had to bury me just from the worry alone if I had seen all of those as close as you did.:001_huh::svengo:

 

 

lol What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

 

And, since my ds has been diagnosed with H1N1, I am sort of a little freaked out. Not hugely, but I admit it's better for a mother's heart when her children are not sick.

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How do you read about kids dying and NOT freak out? How do you resolve in yourself that everything will be okay when you can't know for sure? There is so much scary news out there right now and there are even posts here that are just terrifying. Does anyone have a good way of dealing with this? If you aren't freaking out, what are you doing to take control of this situation?

 

The solution is right in what you've written. Stop watching and reading the scary news. When you are continually exposed to something frightening or stressful, it increases your fear and stress about it.

 

For us, we are taking the position that it is the flu. The flu comes around every year. People die from it every year, though most people who get it do get better. This is no different. We'll either get it or we won't. If we get it, we'll most likely feel bad for a while and then get better. If we don't, we'll deal with it then. Getting sick is a risk of living. Dying from an illness is also a risk of living.

 

We've looked at the other side of the flu story. CBS's investigation found that only 2%-17% of those assumed to have swine flu, actually had it. That's a pretty small percentage. Most didn't have any version of the flu. We asked our pediatrician his opinion when we saw him last month. Even though he's a very popular doctor in the area and we were listed as "widespread" on the CDC website, he's wasn't seeing it manifesting as bad as the media was portraying. He wasn't sure what he'd be recommending about the vaccine. I don't know if his opinion has changed in the last month though. In the end, it boils down to the above paragraph...we might get it. We might even experience a death from it. But we can't really do anything about that.

 

This comes from someone who had a newborn spend 8 days in the hospital fighting RSV because my older son's classmate came to school with a cold. I was pretty mad that the mother knowingly sent her son to school sick; she even commented about it. In the end, though, there was nothing we could do about it aside from living in a bubble.

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I have been on and off meds for the last 10 years. They helped...for a long time. Now, my body won't tolerate them. The side effects on the meds and the withdrawls from the meds are just not something I am willing to do again. I have tried counseling and have come a long way. Trust me...this is GOOD compared to the way I was even just a year ago. A year ago, something started happening that let me know this was going too far. I was nervous about something that I thought was cancer. I went to the doctor and they did a biopsy. During the week of waiting for the results (which is always the hardest part), my body literally started shutting down. I had never experienced that before. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't wake up. I ground my teeth so much that my TMJ caused a constant headache. I totally checked out of my life for a week. To be honest, it scared me that I reacted this way. I went immediately into behavioral therapy and it has helped tremendously. Though my response to this may seem pretty severe, my response to other things has been much worse. The fact that I didn't give swine flu a second thought until a few weeks ago is good too. I have not been this concerned for a long time. I also went through one illness with my kids since all this started and I was okay with it.

 

One day at a time...and lots of positive thoughts right now...

 

Hugs to you, Rebecca. You know I can relate.

 

I sometimes wonder what is worse - the fixation/obsession on the issue or the fear and sometimes downright terror it causes me. It's a downward spiral fast if I can't snap out of it quick enough.

 

Very helpful thread! I especially love Laurie4B's thoughts!!

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Honestly? Faith. Belief in a sovereign God means that if my whole family dies of the flu tomorrow, it is all a part of His perfect plan.

 

It's the only reason I can go on with my life without constant panic attacks (the way I spent the first twenty-some years of my life.)

 

I believe in the same sovereign God you do. :) And for me, faith is key, however, just simply knowing God has planned my life for me isn't necessarily fully comforting. He could have quite a bit of suffering and pain ahead for me and/or my children and dh. I know God would go through it with me and give me all I need to deal with it, but that doesn't negate the fear. Fear is normal and we can see that by how often scripture addresses it. We will struggle against the flesh until we're with Him, and for some, fear can truly be our "thorn".

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