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Do I make my DC participate in the Christmas musical?


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Christmas Musical at our church is starting practices soon. It is going to cost $20 per child and then I'll also have to buy them black pants/skirt.

 

Neither child wants to do it. As a matter of fact they emphatically stated, "No way," but they wouldn't want to do anything that put them in the lime light.

 

Dh doesn't care and doesn't see any point in making them do it, especially since it is going to cost us $60+. Mr. Practicality.

 

I see it more as a good growing experience and good fellowship for the children. My parents always made me do it (preacher's kid) and honestly, I hated it. But I suppose now I figure it was good for me. I know they'd be so proud of themselves afterwards.

 

What do you think? Not a battle worth fighting or should I push them?

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Nope, wouldn't make them do it. Their memories of it will be negative and in 30 years, you'll hear them tell their kids how mean old grandma made them do it against their wills. Mark my words. My EX MIL is 59 and STILL whines about lesser things than that from her childhood.

 

Spare all of yourselves the angst. :001_smile:

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Really? I guess I'm surprised.

 

None of you ever had to join the choir or learn an instrument or be in the school drama or give a speech against your wishes? I have a tyrannical father so I'll admit maybe my perspective is skewed.

 

I'm not sure what I could have them do that would help them out of their "content to play under a tree by themselves" kind of personality. I want them to learn to go beyond their comfort zone a bit.

 

Any suggestions on how to accomplish this without forcing the musical??

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No. My grisl do participate in our Christmas Eve Children's Choir, which entails many practices, buy they WANT to do it. My boys have no desire, so they do not participate.

 

I do not think the folks rehearsing the kids and staging the show would appreciate having to deal with reluctant talent, anyway.

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I think it depends on the kid. My dd is very reluctant to do anything unless I push her, but she has a great time once she gets started. My boys are still young and will run to us if they have to try something new that they don't want to do. This year I would push them if you truly think they are just avoiding the lime light and it is not that they don't like to sing or something, but if they really don't like it then don't make them do it again. There will be a time when they have to face the fear of people watching, and everyone should try things that take them a bit out of their comfort zone IMO. Just my .02.

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I don't think they even know if they can sing or if they would really enjoy it. Right now they are barking to Red River Valley (sigh). They certainly THINK they can sing. :lol:

 

That's the big unknown. Would they really enjoy it once they got over their "I've never done this before" freak out? Or will they hate it? I have no clue. Dh thinks it is a waste of money to find out.

 

Whereas I think of all the kids up there having fun and my children being two of a few who will be sitting in the church observing the musical but not being part of it. The other kids will be excited and out-going and enjoying themselves. I have to peel my 10yo daughter off of me every Wednesday for Awanas (and she has gone to that for 3 years) because she is so shy.

 

I don't know how to help my children learn to enjoy trying new things instead of immediately responding with a, "No". How will they ever know if they'll enjoy something or be good at something if they never want to try? They are content to just play at home and read.

 

I don't want to be mean. I just want to help them branch out a little bit.

 

Probably doesn't matter at this point because DH really doesn't want to spend the money. His response, "They never charged to sing in the church musical when I was a kid." LOL. Well, now you have to get the CD of songs and the t-shirt and the right pants...

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Really? I guess I'm surprised.

 

None of you ever had to join the choir or learn an instrument or be in the school drama or give a speech against your wishes? I have a tyrannical father so I'll admit maybe my perspective is skewed.

 

I'm not sure what I could have them do that would help them out of their "content to play under a tree by themselves" kind of personality. I want them to learn to go beyond their comfort zone a bit.

 

Any suggestions on how to accomplish this without forcing the musical??

 

Nope. Not things that weren't school assignments, anyway. Church musicals were a different ball field than speeches for school. Any choir or drama productions were extra-curricular and not forced (although, if I committed to do something, I was forced to finish--so I considered carefully before joining anything!)

 

I think if the kids are absolutely not interested in it, don't force it. I think you can get them out of their comfort zones a bit by maybe having them participate in an activity they enjoy with people they may not know. But, if they really hate the idea of the Christmas musical, I'd not bother.

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Our homeschool support group had a Thanksgiving program last year and the kids had an opportunity to get up on stage and perform in some way. Most kids played an instrument, sang, recited a poem, etc. My children got together with the children of two other families and they memorized and recited a Bible verse. (I'm ashamed to say that I can't remember which one it was :blushing:).

 

They had never done any sort of public speaking before and didn't want to do it. I thought it would be good for them. so I made them do it. They got through it just fine and did a great job. They realized it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. Even though it was their first experience in public speaking, I didn't think it was unreasonable since they wouldn't be up there alone. I still believe it was a good experience for them and hope that it will make it easier for them if they have to be up there alone some time in the future.

 

I never had anyone force me to do something like that and to this day I am still very afraid of getting up in front of a crowd.

 

Basically, I'm just trying to say that I don't think they'll be scarred for life, LOL. I do think a previous poster had a good point, though, about messing it up for the others if they have a bad attitude about it. You should think about whether or not that would be an issue.

Edited by hsmom3tn
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In fact, I wouldn't even ask them if they wanted to. And, furthermore, I would not ask the kids to behave. I would just expect that they would be respectful and participate fully. I would convey that to them upfront.

 

I would figure, this is what our church needs our children to do. It doesn't violate any principles of mine. So we should step up and do it.

 

I am a little surprised by the charges, but other than that this sounds pretty normal to me.

 

I was one of those kids who always had to do this stuff--I didn't look forward to it, and I would not have chosen it, but I always ended up enjoying it; and now I look back on those Christmas pageants as real high points of my childhood--standout times when I was privileged to be part of something much bigger than just myself or my class, and was privileged to tell the story of God's love to people who needed to hear it! I would not have missed this for the world, nor would I allow my children to sit this kind of opportunity out. Your children, IMO, are blessed to be able to participate in something like this.

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Probably doesn't matter at this point because DH really doesn't want to spend the money. His response, "They never charged to sing in the church musical when I was a kid." LOL. Well, now you have to get the CD of songs and the t-shirt and the right pants...
You know, I'm with your dh on this one. I can see why the children should have to purchase their own clothing, but I don't see why they should have to shoulder any of the other costs. The churches to which we've belonged (big and small) that couldn't absorb the costs (such as the CD's) of children's programs have requested donations from the congregation or a "love offering" at the performances.
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