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More info on my son and request resource suggestions. (Sorry, long)


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Ok, I have talked to my son every night since the first night he called and this is what I have been able to figure out so far:

 

There never was a warrant issued in TN for the orginal DUI incident. We secured the services of a bails bondsman. When he didn't show for the court date, they paid the court and that covered the fine and his license was revoked. We then paid them and all was square with that.

 

Since going to AL he has been arrested three times for driving without a license, driving without tags, registration and insurance and one minor marijuana possesion charge. He served his time for all of those charges, met with his parole officer, took his mandatory bi-weekly drug test and paid his fine. As far as I can tell, he is clean, no drinking or drugs and he is working, but he does have one additional court date tomorrow regarding some fine that has not been paid.

 

He is willing to pay the fine but he said that the lady at court told him that he either has to pay the whole amount tomorrow (which he does not have) or serve his time for it. If he serves the time, he will still be in jail when his baby is born. I told him to talk to the judge, explain the situation and see if he can't make payment arrangements like he did in the past. He is not good about finding the neccessary resources to help himself so he has not looked for a pro bono lawyer, public defender or legal aid society.

 

The other major problem is where he and his girlfriend is living. It is an old mobile home that her mother gave them. The problem is that it has a major leak in the roof and water has been poaring into one room. It has rotted through the floor and mold is growing on all four walls in that room. Definitely not safe for a pregnant woman to be living in or to bring a baby home to. He has the skills to do the work himself but can not afford the materials. So I told him that they needed to rent an apartment until it could be fixed and he said that they couldn't afford that. If he goes to jail, then they won't even have his income and once the baby is born she will be without an income for a little while. Apparently she does not have anywhere else to stay either.

 

He said she is getting medicaid and WIC and they will qualify for food stamps so I told him to have her talk to her case worker and see if she can recommend any resources. He said that she doesn't have a case worker? So who could help recommend resources for her and point her in the right direction to get whatever help she can? Does anyone know of any agencies that could donate construction materials so he can fix the place so it is safe for her to live there? Any other ideas that I haven't thought of?

 

They are Christian but are not members of a church so they don't have a church that can help them, the have no access to any funds or way to get any nor any other living options. I know he is a grown man and he is responsible for the situation that he has gotten himself into and if it were not for the baby, I wouldn't even be worried. But the thought of bringing a baby into this mess seriously stresses me out. I am also worried that he is in a very precarious situation. It seems like he is on the right track and trying to get his life straightened out but he has so much against him right now that I am worried he will crumble under the pressure. I really don't know that he has the emotional resources to handle this which is why he keeps ending up where he was to begin with.

 

On the other hand, my pdoc says that I am doing amazingly well under the circumstances. Of course, hubby just left for about a four week stint so we will see how long that last. :001_smile:

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Seems like his GF should be able to get welfare once the baby is born.

 

And what about Section 8 housing? That is subsidized by the state, and the renters pay a straight proportion of their income rather than a specific amount for rent.

 

Thanks for the info on this. I will be sure to mention it. I really know nothing about getting resource like they need so I don't even know where to begin.

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They are Christian but are not members of a church so they don't have a church that can help them

 

The fact that they aren't members shouldn't stop a church from helping them in whatever way it can ~ God tells us to love our neighbours, not just the members of our congregation. Perhaps they could go and speak with someone?

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The state dept of human resources is generally where people start...he can look in the phone book for the contact info.

 

For the materials, he should check into the local newspaper and see if they have a fund for this. In my area, people contribute to the local fund and projects like his usually are funded as the fund is for people who are making an effort to get back on their feet after a setback. Also if there is a railroad salvage store, he might be able to trade work for materials. Also he could consider posting on Craig's list..sometimes people will give away small leftover quantities of construction mat'l to whomever wants to pick it up.

 

Could they rent a room instead of an apt? Can the gal live with her family after the baby comes while they save up for a rental arrangement?

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My hubby is a minister, and he is always helping people not from his congregation. He should also contact someone at a larger church and see what they can do to help. Honestly, my husband has a discretionary fund just for helping people. If you'd like to pm me with your son's location, I would be willing to contact the local Episcopal church and talk with the rector to see if he could help. There's no obligation for him to go there or even be a Christian.

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St. Vincent de Paul society . . . if he can find them, they will help. They do not, do not, require that he be Catholic or anything else. They only strive to help.

 

You can google the Catholic Charities in the area and find the St. VdP society. If it isnt' immediately obvious, just call any parish where he is.

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How did she apply for the WIC, medicaid, & food stamps? I would assume through Department of Human/Child Services. This would be a good place to start.

 

I'm not sure about the guidelines in your state and section 8 housing, but here they would not be eligible as a couple. The girlfriend/baby could qualify, but since they are not married and your ds is able to work-he would not.

 

I agree about checking with local churches. Our church helps sponsor what is called the Interfaith Hospitality Network. Families actually live at each church involved for a week at a time. During the day local agencies help these families find jobs, housing, & any other need they can fill.

 

Best of luck to your family.

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In my county a case worker comes out to the house and does WIC an such. They would be able to tell them about the services available to them.

 

I have one girlfriend who just got funding to insulate her house and they'll give her new windows, modified mortgage and help with heating costs. Go to (yourstate).gov and do a search for assistance (she's telling me this on the phone now). IE ours was nj.gov

 

What about the blue page in the county phone book? They normally have all the charitable organizations listed for the county.

 

Hope that helps!

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I have never heard of a case worker in this day and age coming to your house for such things as WIC, Medicaid, Food Stamps. Sometimes you have an appointment to go in and see someone, if they need more info from you, (and with WIC, baby checkups), but for the most part, it's via mail, internet, and phone these things are done, and by any office staff that works there, not your own personal case worker. The only time I know of a case worker coming to the home is when you are deeply involved in the Social Services, such as home monitorings, for child/family issues...and this is usually NOT a good thing. Just food for thought.

 

I would recommend they go to the local library, and 1. Use the computer to look up some info. Most charities are online now and will give alot of info to start with..and 2. Check the library lobby for info/brochures....every library I have ever been in usually has alot of community services info posted there.

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I am sure there are social service agencies wherever he is living that can help them get back on their feet.

 

In my area there are ones associated with churches, temples, etc. They give money for clothing and furniture, bills, etc.

 

I donated all my childrens baby stuff to a charity that helped out young (teen), unwed mothers.

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On the letter that comes with your medicaid approval, the case workers name and number is at the bottom. If not you call the medicaid office and give them your social and they will contact your medicaid case worker. You get a letter every time it is time to re-apply and they re-evaluate your circumstances to see if you are still eligible and the number will be on that letter.

Here you go to the office of family support to apply for everything.

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Maybe a Crisis Pregnancy Center? Here, the CPC's offer a host of services that might be helpful in this situation.

 

Also, check into Love, Inc. - this is an organization which connects local churches to help those in need. So, if your son is reluctant to contact a particular church since he's not a member, perhaps he'd feel better about an organization. I think Love, Inc. is somewhat like the Catholic St. Vincent de Paul organization.

 

Anne

Edited by Anne
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My hubby is a minister, and he is always helping people not from his congregation. He should also contact someone at a larger church and see what they can do to help. Honestly, my husband has a discretionary fund just for helping people. If you'd like to pm me with your son's location, I would be willing to contact the local Episcopal church and talk with the rector to see if he could help. There's no obligation for him to go there or even be a Christian.

 

:iagree:

 

I was also going to say this. I've heard from others (not my pastor!) that my pastor actually has "regulars" who come every month. He has a discretionary fund to help them out. None of the people who are regulars come to our church.

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I have to agree about talking with local churches. Our church helps people outside of the congregation a lot. They do not have to be Christian and most of them aren't. There is also a local organization here that was started by the churches so people didn't have to go church to church. Find out if there is a local volunteer office nearby and call them. They often have lots of numbers of non profits who can help.

 

Kelly

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